I Didn't Mean It.

It was a summer love.

Is that possible if there isn't a summer vacation? Well, I guess it doesn't matter, because we did. He came. And he apologized there on my doorstep three days before I was leaving LA.

I didn't want to forgive him. I didn't even want to look at him. But I did. And that's when it started.

There was one secret non-publicity date when I left. It was in his backyard. Simple and elegant all at the same time. Joe was our waiter. It seemed stupid, and I acted as if he was crazy, but inside, I thought it was sweet. Really sweet.

But the next day, I had to leave and he had to go on another headlining tour. Even though he did ask me out that night, I went home and bawled. I didn't even sleep because I cried too hard.

Then, while I couldn't be happier to leave a week ago, now I wanted nothing mroe than to stay. I didn't want to leave him. Three days. Three days is how long it took for us to fall in love again.

I wiped a tear as I walked outside, putting my last suitcase in the trunk of our car. I would miss him so much. Things had finally gotten better and now we were going to ruin it again with distance. I could feel it.

I didn't expect him to be there to say good-bye. In fact, I expected him to be packing for his own tour. He hadn't even started to yet. But he was there, with a yellow rose in his hands. He gave it to me, then wrapped me in his arms, whispering how much he would miss me.

The minute I met my co-star I knew nothing would happen. Nothing could happen. He wasn't anything like Nick... I missed him already. The first thirty minutes and I was missing him. His little texts weren't the same.

The next time I saw we did manage to keep it his visit a secret... the first day. We went everywhere and the press didn't know. I took Liam's car and we drove an hour away before stopping at a beach. A paparazzi-free beach.

He told me how much he missed me and I cried, hugging him. I couldn't believe he had actually came to see me. He traveled all the way here just to see me. He smiled, taking my hand, whispering those three words. The three words that meant it all.

The next day, it was my bright idea to go on the jet-ski. I told him that no one would notice if we snuck out quietly. And I was right. Until a fan spotted us herself, and that's all it took for the paparazzi to notice us. To video tape us. But it was too late to fix it now, so I just sped up, making Nick cling tighter to me.

In that time, he convinced me to come visit him – for strictly business purposes, of course. That's why a little over a week later, I was on a plane to Dallas to see him. I was nervous when we performed our duet. I somehow managed to get all the way onstage and back (and have a makeout session with Nick) without any photographers seeing me.

Now, it was over. The rest of the summer and I would have to text him, call him, and video chat him.

I talked to Liam about it but he wasn't much of a help. He was moping over how he had to break up with his girlfriend. Why? Long distance.

i love you. : )

He'd send me those texts all the time. I loved him too. A lot. Just, I didn't want to tell him that. I wanted to show him. I wanted to his him, and run my hands through his hair.

Maybe that's why I didn't stop it. When I noticed how much closer Liam and I were getting, I didn't bother to stop it. Then, he kissed me. I didn't pull away, though.

Nick didn't see the two of us, but I couldn't not tell him. He had to know – he deserved to know. So, that night during a video chat I brought it up. The first thing he asked is if I kissed back. I wanted to lie. But I couldn't. He deserved honesty.

I couldn't say the truth either though, so I looked down at my hands, and focused on them.

"You did... didn't you?" he was disappointed. He was more than that, though – he was devastated.

"I love you."

He shook his head. "I love you too, Miley. More than you know... but I can't trust you right now."

Tears were in my eyes. Now the roles were reversed. This time, I was the bad guy. I was the cheater.

"I want to be friends."

And that line is what broke me. "Okay," my voice cracked. "I understand."

I couldn't stay on any longer, I was about to lose it. So I turned off webcam and cried. I cried for hours. I cried until I had to go shoot the next day.

I promised myself that I would prove myself to him. I would show him how much I loved him, and not even talk to Liam. But that didn't happen. At all. He asked what was wrong and I lost it. I broke down, and couldn't stop.

The break-up only brought us closer. And I realized that he meant it all of 2008 when he said he didn't want it the way it was. When he said that he didn't mean it and that he doesn't want to like her.

I told him that you can stop what you're doing.

But sometimes you can't. And I saw that now.

Now the roles were reversed.

It was my fault.

And I'm sorry.

I didn't want to ruin everything.

I didn't want to hurt you.

I didn't want to break up.

I didn't mean it.

blah. wrote this in about a half hour. not sure; may delete it later. haha. its not well-written, but the idea was in my head. :) review?

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