Note: This chapter is all written in third person POV, not Shizuo's thoughts. Only the first parts and last part is written in Shizuo's POV. Some of the narrations are voiced by Shinra.

"So, it seems that you're getting a lot better for a few weeks now. I'm glad to see improvements ever since the day of your first visit." Dr. Tachibana said with a light smile showing on her face. She wrote down her comments on her clipboard once again.

"That smarty-pants thinks he can be a professional psychologist like you, but I doubt that is the case." I took out a CD case, titled "Twelve-Step Programme to Manage Your Anger" and place it on the table. "That bastard dragged me in making this stupid video a few days ago, and here it is."

She took a look at the disc. Popping this into a previously non-existent DVD player in the room, she played the disc.

"W-when did you bought this? And the plasma television? I don't remember seeing this here on my last visit."

"I bought this yesterday. It's brand new. I get bored sometimes treating patients all day. I've been doing lots of OT stuff lately, so I sleep here sometimes. You could say this is my second home now." She rubbed her panda eyes, taking her cup of coffee and drank it all up like a hungry child. "There's still a lot of time before your visit ends, so let's just take a look, shall we?" At a press of a few buttons, the video begun playing.

Warning: No animals, electronics or person is harmed during the making of the 'Twelve-Step Programme to Manage Your Anger'. Probably the last part doesn't apply, since people will get hurt in the show. This show is copyright and if you attempt to rename this series to make it your own or burn it, be prepared to meet Heiwajima Shizuo, the most fearsome man in Ikebukuro, big time. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Twelve-Step Programme to Manage Your Anger

By: Kishitani Shinra

Co-host: Heiwajima Shizuo, fellow patient of Dr. Tachibana

"Welcome to the twelve-step programme to manage your anger. Once you have finished watching this video, I'm sure that your lives will be better and much more fulfilling as you have expected. I am Dr. Shinra Kishitani, and this is my fellow patient and co-host, Heiwajima Shizuo."

"Hi."

"Let's not waste anymore time, shall we? We'll move on to the first step."

First Step: Video Games

For those who are rich and have at least a Waa, a Z-Box 180 or a FunStation 3 Action console, good for you. This is the step for you. For those who have neither of these, you might want to skip this step and move on to the next step by pressing the 'Next button.'

"This step is self-explanatory. Research shows that those who play video games that make you exert your inner anger get sick less than those who bottled up their anger or does not let it go. Let my partner show you how this is done."

Shizuo grabbed the two Waa remotes from the couch, creating his own fighting stance to get ready. As the game started, Shizuo imitated the actions on the screen, punching the guts out of his opponent.

While he exerts his anger out at some virtual images, for those who aren't so well off, let's move on to the next step.

Second Step: Exercise

"Shizuo's the fastest runner during our high school days." The doctor commented, patting on the ex-bartender's shoulder.

"Yeah, and I can run faster than the wind." With a white headband on with the kanji 'Victory' written, Shizuo was ready to jog, pacing himself for the first minutes of his plans.

"HEY! Aren't you doing anything?"

"Yes I am…..CYCLING!"

"…Nice biking suit, Shinra. You look ridiculous placing protections around your entire body."

Third Step: Deep Breathes

"It's good to keep a healthy lifestyle in order to manage your anger." Taking a few deep breathes, Shizuo and Shinra inhale and exhale in perfect unison.

"Don't breathe the air in Tokyo. It's bad for your health and you'll die."

It was Shingen, Shinra's father, making such a brutally honest comment. As usual, wearing a gas mask, he turned to his son, passing him a surgical mask to keep him safe from the 'dangerous' air.

"You're the one having problems, old man." Shizuo said angrily before exhaling air. "There are worse place than in Tokyo that has bad air quality. Tokyo is nothing, try Los Angeles. You'll probably 'die' from breathing too much air from there, of course, without a gas mask."

"Nonsense, ignorant little boy." Shingen rebuked, pointing his finger at Shizuo.

"You went to America a few years ago, right? Surely you'll realize Shizuo's right for once." Shinra defended Shizuo's part of his argument. He ignored his some what paranoid father and continued with his exercises with Shizuo. "And breathe in…and out. In…and out…"

Forth Step: Hobbies and favorite past times

"Ahh…your favourite past times. Oh mine?" The eccentric doctor faced the camera with glee. "Dissecting bodies-Ouch!" Celty did her usual karate chop on Shinra in his abdomen, while chatting with her online friends on her notebook.

"Oh shut it Shinra. No one likes to have their bodies rip apart; including me." The Dullahan stomped the buttons on her PDA. "You don't like your body to be ripped apart, do you?"

"I take that back, Celty," Shinra chuckled, not before turning back to Shizuo, preparing dinner for himself and his so-called friend. "Aside from…my unusual past time, your favourite hobbies and past times will take your angry mind away from lashing out at people you care about. Let's see what's Shizuo's making."

"Don't touch the dishes on the table!" The blonde lashed out at Shinra, stirring a pot of chicken soup. "They're hot. Your hands are extremely dirty too! Wash them now, or else I'll throw this refrigerator at you."

"Oh what nice apron you're wearing, Shizu-ch-"

"RRRAAAAAAWWWWRRRR!"

Fifth Step: Sing till you drop

"Ohh! I love singing! Especially during shower time! What about you, Shizuo?"

"No."

A long silent surrounded the apartment, no one spoke a word.

Well, singing is good. If you aren't the singing type, or you are just hopelessly tone-deaf, let's move on to the next step.

Sixth Step: Exert your Anger…Physically!

"This is when you- AHHHH!" Thrown out of the 3rd storey like a ragdoll, Shinra ended up in a recycling bin full of plastic bottles.

Shizuo, who had just walked out of a ruined apartment, saw the poor bespectacled doctor lying on a bed of bottles.

"Er, sorry. I didn't do that on purpose, flinging at the door like that. Got mad with people who aren't ready to pay their debts on time."

"And this is one way to exert your anger physically."

"Hey, get out of the way, you lazy young man!" An old lady in her seventies reprimanded Shinra. Pulling the man out of the bin and collecting all the bottles she could find, she turned back, facing him with a frown.

"I don't get young people these days, lazy, worthless and stupid. I wonder how the world can survive with those youngsters screwing everything up." And that, she left, not before complaining her backaches.

"That's another way to do it."

Seventh Step: Screw someone's life up.

"My favorite part out of the twelve steps." Shizuo rubbed his hands, smiling sinisterly as he plans on screwing up someone's life. "And I know who's the guy to fool in front of the entire world…"

Well, as the title implied, this is one way to exert your anger, but with a cost. Your mileage may vary on this step, but if you are bent in screwing your greatest enemy's entire life, continue watching. We'll give you some tips how to turn their lives upside down, for the better for yourself, but not the victim. Oh right, there are no victims here.

Knock knock.

"Hey, Shizu-chan! Didn't expect you to come visi-"

"To hell with you, motherfucker!" A force so compelling knocked Orihara Izaya out of his consciousness as his light body fell on the clean, carpeted floor.

Eighth Step: Take it out on someone (But don't guarantee that s/he will ever see you again.)

Well, some people do that, but at a great cost. If you aren't the kind who would care about having lots and lots of friends, or someone who doesn't like their good reputation to be tarnished, maybe the next step can help you. Your mileage may vary.

"Since we are anti-social people, we have two great examples standing right on the other side of the road." Shizuo said, pointing at Walker and Erika arguing over a cancelled publication of a light novel.

"Well it sucks all right. It seems you can't differentiate a good novel over a trashy one!"

"You're blind all right! Look at you, the novel you published was very much an old shame. No one buys them."

"Stop mentioning that pathetic book I wrote! Anyway, the author should stop writing and live his remaining life in shame."

"No, he shall go on!"

"Yes he should!"

"Oh no he doesn't!"

While busy with their bickering (Even Togusa and Kadota can't be bothered stopping their two otaku friends.), both Shizuo and Shinra shook their head.

"Well, if you can't take the risk, the next step could help."

Ninth Step: Spray at someone's door

"Wait, Shizuo! Not at MY door! Celty will be SO upset with me staining the door with anything again!"

"All right, so LET'S GO SPRAY IZAYA'S DOOOOORRR! I'm sure he'll be EXTREMELY happy with his newly decorated door." Shizuo gave his partner his 'great' suggestion, brisk walking while shaking the spray cans in each hand. "Spray spray spray…hahahaha!"

Shinra took a startled look at Shizuo before looking at the camera. "He's nuts when it comes to Orihara Izaya."

Tenth Step: Rob the bank

Rob a bank? No that's ridiculous. Well, there are some airheads who are ready to take the risk. Money? Money can't buy everything in the world.

Eleventh Step: If you think raping someone is one way, you're wrong. Go vandalize someone else's car is a GOOD way. We don't recommend tarnishing one's virginity.

"You should thank us both for committing…a less serious crime." Shinra started nodding his head as he shake the spray can with vigour. "I'm afraid that tarnishing one's virginity is NOT a great idea to release your inner anger."

"Let's get this started." Without wasting a moment, Shinra and Shizuo, with a spray can in each hand started vandalizing Namie Yagiri's posh car.

Well, we calculated when Namie will leave her office and takes her car either for lunch, fetching her idiotic brother Seiji Yagiri, for other appointments and for dinner. Just don't get yourself caught by the police, the authorities…or the owner herself. Shinra pulled Shizuo out of the mess as Namie, red with fury began screaming at her offenders.

"Come back here! How dare you do this to my car?"

Last Step: Go kill someone (Note: This is only used as a last resort.)

"We do not recommend you doing this for your own amusement, identical to how Mr. Orihara messes people up with his grand schemes." Shinra started off and before Shizuo could do anything, the video stopped at this point, unable to be seen.

I was the one stopping the video from running. I guess Shinra and I take our stunts a little too far. Trust me; you do NOT want to know the rest of the last segment. One thing you should know; I did not kill anyone in the last step. Let's just say…it's an enactment.

By now, Rika and I were too tired to watch further. I guess this is the only BIG reason why this DVD did not end up selling in the big market. But I do agree screwing Izaya's life is one way I could manage my anger. At least I'm not breaking the law. Screw the police; I have my punches to keep myself going. When I turned to Rika, her surprise look shows like an open book. After a while, Rika nodded in agreement.

"You're right. It's better to keep this in your hands. And keep mum about this to Shinra."

"If he ever finds out I didn't took his advice, I know what to do…" I cracked my knuckles, feeling rather relieved in making the right decisions.

To be continued…

Once again, I apologized having to drag my deadline in publishing this. I got too carried away playing Maple Story (It's an MMORPG, apparently there's a summer event going on that is too good to miss) and watching Trauma Team walkthrough videos. There are some change of plans getting this story done and all, so pardon me for publishing the last few chapters later than expected. I'm so bad at time management…

I plan to end this around the end of the anime series and before school starts for me. School starts around mid-July for me, so I won't be updating my other stories as fast as I used to during my long break. I have other ideas on creating other fics, so if you have any ideas on how this story will end, please give me feedback and nice ideas. I'll credit you if you submit an idea I like in the disclaimer.

Originally Rika and Shizuo are going to be in this video, but I replace Rika with Shinra at the last minute. I have a reason for this; it would sound extremely out-of-character for Rika in committing some of the steps (Killing people, rob a bank. I don't think Rika will agree Shizuo in doing that.), so…yeah. You get the idea.

I'll be publishing another chapter soon. Hopefully it won't take too much of my time and I'll get this over with. I know that I'm rushing this story towards its end but I just want to create another fic for my ideas to run.