A/N: A little Bella/Alice oneshot and spinoff from my story "You Belong With Me". You don't have to read that one first but you should check it out anyway (*wink wink nudge nudge*).
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. I also don't own the song "If I Fell" (*sniffles*).
If I fell in love with you If I give my heart to you If I trust in you, oh please So I hope you see that I So I hope you see that I
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'Cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her
Don't run and hide
If I love you too, oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her
'Cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
'Cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two If I fell in love with you
Three months. Three torturously long, agonizing months. I couldn't wait any longer. I had to do something. There was no way I could just sit back and watch while Tyler Crowley tried to feel her up in the middle of the hallway. I got nauseous every time I thought about her in someone else's arms. Especially a guy's. Blech. How any of those skanks at my school got near them was beyond me. My brother, Emmett, Jasper, and Ben were the only decent ones. And I sure as hell wasn't going near any of them.
I'd never been particularly interested in anyone at school, so when I'd finally realized the year before that I was gay, my parents weren't all that surprised. They were even less surprised when Edward came out with me. Leave it to my parents to raise two gay children.
Coming out to my parents had been a better experience than I thought it would be. It was pretty liberating, actually. Soon the rest of the town knew about us as well. While some people had been rude and I'd even lost a few friends, our tight knit group was mostly unchanged. As I'd known they would, my closets friends stuck by me. On the whole, I felt much better, lighter even, than before. Everything had been going well despite my lack of relationship. I was a strong, confident woman and newly out of the closet. What did I need a girlfriend for?
At least, that's how I felt until Bella came along. She'd moved to forks over Christmas break during our junior year. Edward and I had come out the summer before and Edward was already pining after Jasper. I was pushing him to come clean, but wasn't actively looking to change my single status. I was perfectly content to sit back and wait for the right girl to come along. Little did I know she would come along so soon. The minute I saw her stumble out of that beaten up red truck I knew she was the one for me. I marched up to her right there in the parking lot and introduced myself. The look of surprise on her beautiful, heart-shaped face was adorable, and the way she blushed when she corrected my use of her full name made me want to push her against her truck and kiss her for all the school to see.
We'd been practically glued at the hips ever since. Just as I'd known she would, Bella, fit into our group perfectly. Angela enjoyed having someone to talk about books with, and Rosalie and I had wanted a friend to make over for a while. Ben, Emmett, and Jasper saw her as a little sister and took pleasure in embarrassing her. She became closest to Edward and me, though. I couldn't help the slight possessiveness that over took me whenever I thought of that. I was the one pining now, and my brother wouldn't let me forget it. He was always willing to listen when I needed to talk, but also teased me constantly. It was only after I met Bella that he'd ever seen me speechless.
But how was I expected to remain sane in the face of such perfection? She was beautiful, smart, and unfailingly kind. What more could I ask for in a girl?
"What if she's not gay?" Rosalie brought up with her usual finesse a few weeks after Bella's arrival.
"Rose! I'm sure that's not what Ali needs to hear right now!" Angela scolded.
"It's okay, Ange," I said, not to be deterred. "If she's not yet, she will be." Angela and Rose started laughing. "Or at least, she'll realize she is."
"But how can you be so sure?" Angela asked.
"How do you know Ben and Emmett are straight?" I shot back. "Call it gaydar or whatever else you want. Girls, when you know, you know. And trust me, I know. If Bella is straight, I was born a penguin." Rose and Angel looked at me and then at each other before cracking up. "Oh laugh all you want! Just wait! You'll see!"
We didn't have to wait long, either. My point was proved a couple weeks later during lunch. Ironically enough, I have Tyler Crowley to thank for that. Being the hound that he was, he'd had his beady little eyes on Bella since she walked through the door. We were walking with our arms linked towards the lunch line together, having an innocent conversation about the English class we had come from, when that slimy git sauntered up to us looking far too sure of himself. Then he actually had the gall to ask her out right in front of me. I seethed quietly next to her, unable to help the way my arm tightened minutely around hers. As much as I hated him in that moment, I had to admire the way his forwardness made her blush. She was so cute when she was embarrassed. She uttered a quick rejection before pulling me toward the lunch line. The look on Tyler's face as she dragged me away was priceless, and I couldn't help letting out a little laugh.
Emmett, of course, couldn't pass up the chance to tease and started whooping as soon aw we reached our usual table. Bella's blush, which had started to fade slowly as we hurried through the line, returned in full force. She rushed to it down to avoid the eye now turned our way, but being her clumsy self tripped when she tried to sit down. Without thinking, I jumped up from my seat, nearly falling down when I caught her. She was taller than me (which isn't hard), but surprisingly light, and as I straightened us I couldn't help but stare at her neck, which was conveniently at my eye level.
My imagination was getting the best of me, and I was in the middle of thinking about how soft her skin would feel under my lips when I heard a small chuckle under Emmett and Jasper's roars of laughter, snapping me out of my trance. I turned and saw Edward smiling smugly at me. I just glared and maturely stuck out my tongue. It was around then that I realized I still had my arms wrapped around Bella. I dropped my arm quickly and sat back down, avoiding her gaze.
"So Bella," Emmett started with an evil look on his face. "Now that you're done tripping over things, you have some explaining to do." I was afraid my poor angel's face was going to become permanently red. "So are we gonna have to deal with Tyler any time soon?"
"No!" Bella squealed before composing herself. "Definitely not."
"Aww, come on!" Rosalie teased. "Tall jocks aren't your type?" I turned to glare at her then and saw Angela giving me a sympathetic look from the corner of my eye.
"Are they your type, Rosie?" Emmett whined before Bella could answer.
"No, I much prefer the muscled ones," she said flirtatiously, stroking his arm and batting her eyelashes. I almost gagged, but managed to restrain myself. I knew if Bella was mine I probably wouldn't be able to resist a little PDA, either.
"So what's your type?" I heard Bella's sweet voice ask. Edward kicked me under the table, and I turned to see her looking at me. It was my turn to blush.
"Oh…um…" Edward snorted at my lack of eloquence, and stuck my tongue out again.
"What?" Bella looked confused. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."
"No, it's not that! It's just that…well…my type is…"
"Petite, brunette, and female?" Edward finished for me. I'd never wanted to kill my brother more than in that moment. Bella's eyes widened in surprise, and after a moment her cheeks reddened once more and she looked down at the table.
"Oh," she murmured. "That's, cool. No, I mean—" she cut off, shaking her head and looking chagrined. "I mean that's good. It means you guys are cool with the gay thing."
"Big advocate of gay rights?" Jasper fished obviously. Normally I'd be pissed at my friends for their less-than-subtle behavior, but my heart was racing too much at that point. My heart was racing and I felt as though every experience in my short life had been leading up to that moment.
"Yeah, you could say that," Bella answered wryly after a few seconds of silence. She looked around self-consciously before continuing in a low voice. "I am too. Gay, I mean." She seemed uncomfortable, her eyes flitting to each of our faces for only a moment before moving on. Her eyes lingered hopefully on my face before moving on to my brother's.
Edward gave his crooked grin and pulled up the sleeve of his shirt, revealing a black wristband with a rainbow piano on it. "Cool," he said.
"Yeah," I agreed, letting out a breath I hadn't known I was holding. I was feeling a little light headed. "Very cool." Then the realization that I had been right came, and I was suddenly beaming. I leaned over in my seat and bumped my shoulder to hers with a ridiculous giggle, my heart soaring when she responded with one of her own. Then I turned to look smugly at Rose and Angela. "I told you," I gloated, causing everyone at the table to laugh, including Bella.
I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so happy.
***#%&***
"So when did you come out?" Edward asked later that night. He'd all but dragged Bella out of school that afternoon, giving her directions to our house as he led her towards her truck. Emmett and Rosalie were going on a double date with Ben and Angela and Jasper had soccer practice, effectively pausing our usual Friday night movie marathon. Now that we'd discovered Bella was a keeper, though, he seemed eager to initiate her into our ritual. She showed up at our door about an hour later with an overnight bag, still looking a bit flustered.
"Freshman year," she answered. "I only told my parents and step dad, though. I hoe you don't mind keeping it quiet. Just for a little while."
"That's perfectly fine," Edward interjected when he saw my face fall. "But why the secrecy? I mean, I know Arizona's a pretty conservative state, but I'm sure your close friends would've understood."
That endearing blush made another appearance. "Well—I—um…I didn't really have friends. Especially not close ones. I figured it was better to wait in silence for a few years than to have a bunch of insufferable bigots looking down on me."
"But you'll come out here?" I couldn't help asking. "There are definitely people who are just as bad here."
She looked intently at me for a few moments, biting her lip as she thought about her next words. "I have friends here," she finally murmured softly. "I know if—when—I come out, I'll still have someone. Right?"
I beamed, and Edward chuckled and ruffled her hair.
"Of course you will," he reassured.
That'd been two months before and I was reaching the end of my rope. How long was a girl supposed to hold out? I didn't have any experience in the matter, but I figured if my sanity was in danger I wouldn't be bound to time constraints. I didn't know if she was ready to come out yet, but I was past caring. I had to tell her. It didn't matter if I got shot down, or if she was still in love with that girl from Phoenix.
Bella hadn't told me much about her. Just that her name was Holly, and that she was straight. She was the only one Bella had been remotely close to in Arizona. I hadn't wanted to pester her about a touchy subject, so I put a lid on the plethora of curious questions swimming around my brain. What happened? Did Bella still have feelings for her? Those questions bothered me for weeks after she told me about Holly. I really hoped she didn't. It wasn't exactly an appealing idea to pour your heart out to someone who was hung up on another girl. The thought had agonized me for longer than I'd ever admit, keeping me up at night and haunting me at inopportune moments in the day. Then during lunch one day during one of those moments, I had an epiphany. Emmett had just told a stupid joke, and Bella laughed so hard that some of the lemonade she'd been drinking came out her nose. She was holding her nose and blushing in embarrassment while Edward patted her on the back, trying to stifle his laughter. Wondering whether or not it was a good idea, I leaned in to put a consoling hand on her other shoulder. Her coughing fit seemed to be mostly over, so I went to pull away. What I didn't expect was for Bella to follow me. She hid her face in my shoulder and wrapped her warm arms around me, leaving me speechless. As I looked down at her red cheeks I realized it didn't matter who she was in love with. She felt so right in my arms, even if it was just as friends. I'd rather keep her there as a friend than push her away forever. But I had to be honest.
Ever since then I'd just been trying to work up the courage to tell her. Who knew the final push would come from Tyler Crowley. Usually when I saw one of the losers at school hitting on her I could contain my jealousy. But when I saw him push her up against the lockers behind her something inside of me snapped. That was it. No one pushed my girl against a wall and got away with it. I stomped towards them, seeing red. As I got closer I heard Bella laughing nervously. She shifted uncomfortably and looked over his shoulder. When she saw me her face brightened momentarily, but when she saw the outrage I wore her smile melted into a look of surprise.
When I reached them I shoved my way in between them and grabbed Bella's arm. I vaguely registered Tyler's shouts of disappointment from behind me but didn't stop on my way down the hall. I dragged her around a corner to where my locker was. I let her go and wrenched my locker open, trying to calm my breathing.
"Alice? Are you okay?" Bella's sweet voice broke through the fire in my brain. She put her hand lightly on my shoulder and I turned to see a look of concern on her face. "What's wrong, hon?"
"Why do you let him drool all over you like that?" I demanded. She looked surprised. She wasn't expecting that beginning. "I know it makes you uncomfortable. If you just came out it wouldn't be a problem."
I instantly felt bad when she flinched. But it was the truth. None of those pigs would be bothering her if she'd just tell people. How was I supposed to pursue a girl who wouldn't admit who she was? My annoyance was back in full swing, and only intensified when I saw irritation cross her face.
"That's not your business," she snapped. "Look, I know you're out and proud and all that, but as my friend I'd thought you'd understand—"
"Okay, that was harsh," I cut in. "And I do understand that you might not be ready for the world to know. But what I don't understand is why you'd let stupid guys slobber all over you when you have a foolproof way of stopping them."
Bella huffed. "That's not—just—ugh, why do you even care, Alice?"
"Because I love you!" I shouted. "Why can't you just wake up and see that?!" I barely registered her shocked expression before I had my lips pressed against her amazingly soft ones. How is it possible for this girl to make me so breathless? I thought as I pressed myself closer to her. Already my head was spinning and I was gasping for air. About then my stupid actions caught up with me and I wrenched myself away from her. Her shocked expression was enough to tell me that I had to get out of there.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry. I wasn't—I didn't—I have to go." I managed to stutter out before I dashed down the hall, trying to ignore the many prying eyes on me. Eyes that had no doubt seen my whole outrageous display. Why, oh why had I been so stupid? I'd known Bella wasn't ready come out, and I still went and pressed a wet one on her in front of half the student body.
I don't remember much of the drive home, except for the part where I had to jerk to a stop to avoid plowing over a jogger and their puppy. When I got home I stumbled up the stairs and barely made it to my bed before I let the sobs take over. Great. Now I'll never get to be with her. Who would want to be with a lunatic who can't control her impulses? I don't know how long I lay there wallowing in self-pity, but it seemed like an eternity later that I fell into a fitful sleep. And it seemed like mere minutes later that I felt a soft hand on my shoulder, jerking me awake.
"Bella!" I jumped when I realized the warm hand didn't belong to my mom. "What're you—when—how did you—?"
"I followed Edward home and he let me in." She said softly, looking at my red-rimmed eyes with concern. Then she smiled a little ruefully. "I had to stop him from coming up here and ripping you a new one, by the way."
I laughed a little in spite of myself. "I'd deserve it."
Bella frowned and looked down at her hands. "Did you mean it?" she murmured quietly. "Do you really regret it?"
I was baffled. I thought she'd come here to yell at me, but the way she said it almost sounded like she actually wanted me to say no. I felt my face heat when she looked back up at me intensely. "I—um…well, yeah," I finally answered. When I saw her face fall I rushed to explain myself. "I mean, it wasn't what you wanted. I knew you weren't ready and I still—"
I broke off when Bella laughed and leaned in, pushing her forehead against mine. There was a soft smile on her face that nearly made me stop breathing. "Didn't you notice I kissed you back?" I was too stunned to do anything but let out a few sputtering sound. She pulled back and put a pout on her face, but I could see the teasing in her eyes. "And here I thought you were perfect. Oh well, everyone has their flaws." I was too dumbfounded by the fact that she'd called me perfect to realize that she was tilting her head towards me again until her lips met mine for the second time that day.
"What about Holly?" I asked when I could breathe again.
She shook her head, causing her lips to brush lightly against mine. "There was never anything with Holly. It's all in the past. You are my present."
"And your future, if you'd like," I whispered.
Bella smiled again against my mouth. "Yeah. I'd like that," she murmured before pressing her lips against mine once more.
A/N: How did I do?