Prime's Diversion was written for the following prompt at the tfanonkink community on lj. The parts are really small so I'm just posting them as one chapter here. And as warning, this fic does earn it's M rating.

Thought about a potentially funny and hot kink. It's another lust ray story, 'cept Megatron has NO idea it's supposed to work that way, and shoots Optimus with it. Cue Meggy thrown to the ground and snogged within an inch of his life. On the outside he's all DDD: but on the inside he's all WOOT!!11! The battle grinds to a shocked and amused halt as both armies watch Optimus and Megatron rolling around on the ground.

Kink: Dominant Optimus.

Bonus: If it wasn't really a lust ray at all, just had a harmless side effect. Optimus just wanted to mess with Meg.

Sticky!

Prime's Diversion

Part 1

"Frag, frag, frag," Jazz chanted as he dodged enemy fire and ran the last few yards to a boulder that looked large enough to offer him some cover. He darted around one jagged side and tripped over Prowl, landing flat on his face.

Prowl immediately grabbed his shoulder and hauled him back behind the boulder while shooting at the Decepticon that had been chasing him.

"Thanks, Prowler!" Jazz crouched beside Prowl, then leaned around the boulder to take a few shots of his own at his pursuer.

"It's Prowl," Prowl corrected automatically from years of habit and calmly shot the Decepticon in the face.

"Finally," Jazz said, and slumped against the rock. "I've been dodging that con for a joor now. They're handing our afts to us."

Prowl ignored his chatter, cautiously peering over the top of the boulder to take stock of the fighting. "No," he said softly, then quickly began snapping orders over the comm. "Stop him, Ironhide! Don't let him do it!"

Jazz froze. That did not sound good.

"Don't let who do what?" Jazz asked, and stood up to see for himself.

Outnumbered, most of the Autobot forces had pulled back into a narrow canyon, fighting in shifts to give some of the mechs a chance to rest and make a few field repairs. Reinforcements were coming, but their ETA was still half a joor out and Jazz wasn't sure they'd hold out that long. The last push from the Decepticons, which had trapped most of the Autobots in the canyon, had also cut off several Autobots from the main force. That was how Jazz and Prowl had ended up playing dodge the Decepticon.

What they needed was a diversion; something that would give them a little more time. It appeared that Optimus had the same idea.

Only Optimus –the noble, self sacrificing glitch- had decided to make himself the diversion. Shifting into his alt mode, Optimus exploded out of the canyon and through the Decepticon line, plowing through three small Decepticons foolishly placed together. Ironhide managed to follow, loudly cursing Prime for being a slagging idiot. Hound tried to follow as well, but the Decepticons closed the gap in their lines and he had to retreat back into the canyon.

Optimus tore across the field, his big diesel engine roaring. Ironhide ran after him, but damage to his transformation cog kept him from transforming and he was quickly left behind.

Jazz looked to the far end of the battlefield where Optimus was headed. A second force of Decepticons waited, loyally guarding Megatron.

"He isn't going to..." Jazz trailed off in disbelief.

"He slagging is," Prowl snarled and transformed, tires flinging rocks as he headed for the disaster forming below.

On the far side of the battlefield, Megatron stepped away from his men and towards Optimus, carrying a hand sized weapon Jazz had never seen before. Jazz transformed and raced after Prowl, frantically running speed and distance calculations.

None of them would be close to getting to Prime in time.

Part 2

Up above, Megatron's elite seeker trine had their own set of problems, the Autobot twins. Starscream barrel rolled through the sky, trying to dislodge Sunstreaker while Thundercracker was trying to get rid of Sideswipe by flying upside down and scraping him against some treetops. Skywarp followed them, offering unhelpful commentary and trading insults with the Autobot twins. Unfortunately, he annoyed his trine mates more than he bothered the twins.

Thundercracker finally snapped and attempted to force Skywarp into the mountainside. "If you're not going to help Warp, shut up!"

"Fine," Skywarp grumped and fell back, turning his attention to the battlefield below. Oh, that was interesting. It looked like Prime had finally snapped and was doing a suicide run on Megatron. Skywarp dropped in elevation to get a better look at the action and saw Megatron's latest weapon.

His processor nearly stalled out in shock. No. Fragging. Way. How had Megatron gotten his claws on that?

"Hey, Screamer!" Skywarp yelled.

"Can't you see I'm busy!" Starscream snapped.

"Yeah, slagger! Wait your turn!" Sunstreaker added, then whooped as Starscream abruptly barrel rolled in the other direction.

"Frag you!" Skywarp yelled back to Sunstreaker.

"Screamer!" he continued. "Look at Megatron!"

Starscream stopped his aerial acrobatics long enough to take a look.

"Hey! That's my lust ray!" he screeched and swerved wildly, right into Thundercracker. They quickly became entangled and both had to kill their engines or risk crashing into the mountainside.

Gravity took over.

Sideswipe, who never let an opportunity pass him by, managed to latch onto Skywarp's wing on the way down.

Five cursing, punching, and scratching bots fell out of the sky.

Part 3

Megatron surveyed the battlefield, listening to Soundwave as he gave updates on the battle's progress. They had the Autobots outnumbered and cornered, but Megatron knew time was running out. They were too close to one of the Autobot bases and help would be arriving soon.

He snapped a few orders to his commanders, then sent Soundwave back to the front line where his cassettes would be of more use. He wanted to fume without the bot poking around in his thoughts.

Recently, Megatron had come to the realization that the war had reached a stalemate of sorts. He won a few minor battles, Prime won a few more. There were no more major cities left standing to fight over and the energon mines were collapsed or mined out; fuel would become a major concern in the next vorn. Most of the neutral bots had chosen sides or fled Cybertron. Time passed and he and Optimus slowly whittled down each other's armies. By his estimation, only one twentieth of Cybertron's population was still functioning.

Megatron growled as that last thought caused his Lord High Protector programming to flare behind the mental walls where he had isolated it when he started this war so many vorns ago. That program was a perpetual annoyance, always trying to influence his thoughts and actions, to remind him of his 'proper place' at Prime's side. He snorted bitterly. There was no proper place there for him, there never would be. Optimus had never initiated those final Lord High Protector rituals, calling them barbaric, unimportant and unnecessary. Megatron snarled, still nursing a burning hurt over those words from ages ago. The sheer arrogance of Prime, to assume he'd willingly follow a mech who hadn't proven his superiority to him, who hadn't earned his submission.

With long practice, Megatron reinforced his mental walls and once he was sure he had the Lord High Protector (LHP) programming silenced again, he turned back to his original line of thought. He needed to find some way to bring this war to an end before there was nothing left to fight over.

An explosion of activity at the front line caught his attention. Optimus Prime rammed through the Decepticon line then charged across the debris covered field, clearly not waiting for any of his loyal Autobots.

"Well, what do we have here?" Megatron said to himself, thoroughly intrigued by this reckless behavior. Prime was usually never one to throw aside tactics and self control for a berserker charge across the battlefield. Megatron slowly smiled. Suddenly, this battle looked much more interesting.

Megatron pulled out his latest weapon, a ray gun that would cause a mech's spark to surge wildly, melting his internals. He had taken the weapon from Starscream's lab when the Air Commander had been busy practicing aerial maneuvers; he hadn't been in the mood to listen to Starscream's usual whining.

He powered up the weapon, then turned to the ground commanders of the Decepticon force loyally waiting behind him. "This fight with Prime is mine. Interfere and you will not be spared my wrath."

His ground commanders bowed in ready obedience and with that settled, Megatron confidently walked towards the fast approaching Autobot.

"Prime!" he called out. "Let's dance!"

Optimus immediately slowed his approach, then transformed. His movements were graceful and unhurried, as if he suddenly had all the time in the world and everything would happen when he was ready for it. Megatron growled, but Optimus fearlessly walked towards him, his armor shining brilliantly in the midday sun. A familiar thread of arousal twisted in Megatron's body, and with the ease of long practice, he ruthlessly shoved it aside.

Optimus stopped a few feet in front of him, just outside of easy grabbing reach. "The only dance you know is battle, Megatron," he said calmly, unfazed by the army of Decepticons that were quickly surrounding them.

Megatron smirked. "It's the only dance worth knowing."

Optimus studied him for a long moment. "Perhaps," he finally said. "I have a proposal for you."

Part 4

"Really," Megatron drawled, amused at Prime's stubborn confidence. "What could you offer me that I cannot take for myself? Your Autobots are cornered and you, their precious Prime, are surrounded and at my mercy."

"I offer you the Allspark," Optimus said simply.

Megatron froze and all pretense at play was gone. The Allspark: he had sought it for so long. And now, only the Allspark could heal some of the damage done to Cybertron; he would need it to truly rebuild his planet. Prime had hidden it away somewhere and intelligence said that only Prime and his second in command knew where.

"I'm listening," he said, warily.

"Our war has destroyed our planet, slaughtered our people," Prime said, his words an echo of Megatron's earlier thoughts. "Our numbers drop with every battle. When will we stop? When there is none left but you and I?"

Optimus shook his head and stepped closer. "Let's end it here, now, while there are still enough of our people left to rebuild our planet. Let us fight, until one of us submits. If you win, the Allspark is yours to remake Cybertron as you wish."

Megatron stared at him, unable to believe what he was hearing. And apparently he wasn't the only one. The fighting was slowly coming to a halt as their words were transmitted to both sides.

***
While the fighting may have started to slow, Jazz and Prowl kept moving, altering their course to meet up with Ironhide when they realized there was no way to get close to Optimus without plowing through the thick crowd of Decepticons.

"Bargaining with the Allspark? If Megatron doesn't kill him, I'm going to," Ironhide said to them as they transformed.

"You'll have to get in line," Jazz replied. "I think Prowl wants first dibs. Right, Prowler?"

Prowl ignored them both, his battle computer running furiously as he tried various plans of action. He rejected them all for having less than a nine percent chance of success.

Needing more data, Prowl took the time to have all the Autobots report on their status and location. Only four others weren't trapped in the canyon. Ratchet and Mirage were less than two minutes to the south and headed towards him after having killed their three pursuers. Sideswipe's reply, however, was simply confusing.

"We're seeing if birds can swim!"

"What?" Prowl snapped. "Sideswipe, I am in no mood-"

"Starscream's trine is no longer flight capable," Sunstreaker interrupted, then sent coordinates that placed the twins location in the center of a large, muddy pond to the southeast.

Prowl briefly considered that, then decided he really didn't want to know more. It sounded like something Jazz would take great delight in telling him later once he found out all the little details.

He sighed. "Just get your afts to my location," he finally said, and closed the comm. line.

"Orders, Prowl?" Ironhide asked.

Prowl slowly shook his head, watching as the Decepticons pulled back from the two leaders, forming a large circle around them.

"We wait," he said. "And hope that whatever it is that Optimus is planning, works."

Part 5

Sideswipe watched as Skywarp warped to the edge of the pond, easily removing Starscream and Thundercracker from the mud. They really needed an Autobot with Skywarp's ability, he decided.

"Hey, Skywarp!" he called out. "Give a bot a hand, would you?"

"Eat slag!" Skywarp retorted, and ran off after Starscream who was quickly leaving, apparently more concerned with cussing out Megatron for stealing his lust ray than with continuing their fight. Sideswipe really hoped he was hearing that wrong, because - eww!- Megatron, Starscream and lust ray were words that should never ever be in the same sentence.

Thundercracker followed the two Decepticons at a slower pace, completely ignoring Sideswipe's jeers with the exception of pausing to make an obscene gesture over his shoulder. Sideswipe snickered; seekers with damaged wings were a cranky bunch.

"Come on," he said to his brother, who was lying sprawled in the mud next to him in filth induced shock. "Prowl wants us."

Sunstreaker groaned. "Frag what Prowl wants. This is the most disgusting thing I've ever felt."

"Yeah, yeah," Sideswipe said, not really caring. He carefully climbed to his feet, the slick mud made it near impossible to stand. He managed two strides before one foot went out from under him and he landed on his aft again.

Sunstreaker didn't even bother with trying to stand up. He refused to give Ratchet another dent to pound out of his aft. He got up on his hands and knees, and started crawling for the edge of the pond.

Sideswipe sighed, and crawled after him.

***
Megatron narrowed his eyes. "What's the catch, Prime?"

For a brief moment, Optimus almost looked nervous, but he bravely continued. "If I win, I want my Lord High Protector to submit and take his proper place at my side."

Megatron's jaw dropped in a moment of stunned disbelief before his anger rose, swift and hot. "Now?" he yelled. "You ask me now, after all these vorns? Now?"

He reined himself in, voice dropping in volume as he shook with fury. "How dare you!" he spat. "You were the one who refused to initiate the ritual, the one who didn't care for our warrior traditions!"

The Decepticons murmured and shifted around them, many of them had originally served in Cybertron's armies. The battlefield was silent but for their movements; all of the fighting had grounded to a halt as both sides waited to see how this confrontation played out.

"I was young and ignorant, and I relied on the wisdom of Senators who feared and hated you," Optimus said sadly. "I failed you. I am sorry."

That's not good enough, Megatron thought as his anger finally overtook him. He raised his newest weapon and fired.

Part 6

Optimus took the shot in his chest, just above the spark chamber. Given what the weapon had been designed to do, Megatron fully expected the Autobot to scream and thrash in pain, or at the very least, collapse to the ground and die.

Optimus did neither. He hesitantly touched his chest to make sure that he was as undamaged as he appeared to be. Then he looked at Megatron and sighed in disappointment.

"So be it, Megatron," he said gravely. Then without further warning, he charged.

Dropping Starscream's useless weapon, Megatron reached for one of his own, but Optimus was too close and he was tackled to the ground before he could grab one.

They wrestled in the dirt, neither one gaining much of an advantage. Megatron was bigger, but Optimus used that to his advantage. The damned Autobot was smart enough to keep his head down and his arms locked around Megatron's torso. Megatron couldn't get enough distance to throw a decent punch and was left with scratching and pounding on the Autobot's back.

Then Optimus did the unexpected.

Megatron yelled and arched his body in surprise as two strong hands grabbed his aft and squeezed.

"Optimus!" Megatron cursed. "What the frag are you doing?"

Optimus ignored him so Megatron kept struggling, only to find himself fighting a second battle. The LHP programming attacked its mental walls and told him to not fight his Prime. Megatron shoved it down again, then ignored it for the more immediate problem of Optimus and his grasping hands. Megatron twisted his body sharply to the left, then quickly to the right and Prime's grasp finally started to slip. He twisted one more time, right onto his front, and wasted no time in scrambling free.

But Optimus gave him no quarter and tackled him again, flattening him to the ground with his weight and seizing hold of his wrists. Megatron froze for a moment, overcome with the feeling of rightness from being pinned by the Prime. He moaned, then put more effort into blocking the LHP program, only to find that his mental walls were holding. That had come solely from him.

"Frag, no," he said aloud, and jerked his head back, trying to catch Optimus in the face. "Get off of me!"

Optimus managed to avoid the blow, then leaned forward to whisper in Megatron's audio.

"But this is where I want you," he said, then nipped the cables on the side of Megatron's neck.

Megatron gasped, then renewed his efforts to get free. He was beginning to suspect something was wrong with Optimus. He managed to turn onto his back; Optimus just settled between his legs, keeping his arms pinned on the ground above his head.

"Are you suffering from a virus?" Megatron hissed.

"I assure you, I am fully functional," Optimus replied, his words thick with innuendo.

"Functional, my aft!" Megatron snarled, and would have continued in that manner had Starscream's unmistakable voice not interrupted, loudly carrying across the battlefield.

"Megatron! Where's my lust ray?"

Megatron stared at Optimus in dawning horror. "Lust ray?"

Optimus just laughed one of his gentle, pleased laughs. "Why not?" he said, and rocked his hips against Megatron's.

Part 7

"Lust ray?" Jazz chortled as he struggled to control his expression. "Oh, Primus! Someone please tell me they're recording this!"

"Jazz!" Prowl scolded, eyes wide from what was playing out before them. "Optimus is obviously malfunctioning!"

Ironhide, who had played no small part in taking care of the twins as younglings and had given them his sense of humor, grinned. "I'd say he's functioning just fine," he said, just to watch Prowl stare at him in disbelief.

Ratchet and Mirage arrived, both looking a little worse for wear. "Who's malfunctioning?" Ratchet asked, having heard a little bit of the conversation with his keen senses. Prowl explained and the medic listened attentively, watching as Optimus prevented another escape attempt and went back to molesting Megatron right in the center of the battlefield.

Ratchet snorted when Prowl finished explaining. "When I ordered him to find a bot to tumble, Megatron wasn't the one I had in mind."

Jazz gave up on trying to be serious and laughed helplessly, leaning on Prowl's shoulder. Prowl shrugged him off, and glared at Ratchet. "Why is no one taking this seriously?"

"Prowl, love," Jazz said. "Our leaders are just about to frag each other senseless in front of both armies. There's no way to take this seriously."

Mirage spoke up, looking quite thoughtful. "What color is this 'lust ray'?"

"Silver, with a bronze grip," Ironhide answered. "That mean something?"

An amused grin formed on Mirage's face. "It means everything."

Prowl, who had gathered up his professionalism again, tilted his head in interest. "How so?"

"On my last spying mission," Mirage explained, "I included an additional report to Prime on all the various gadgets and experiments that I've observed Starscream working on. Starscream keeps a fully functional silver and gold 'lust ray' in his quarters." He paused. "He keeps a silver and bronze prototype in his labs to tinker with; this one creates a small, electric shock and nothing more."

It took a few seconds for that information to set in, but when it did, a large grin appeared on Prowl's face. Ironhide, Ratchet and Jazz began to laugh.

Mirage smirked. "So it seems, as strange as it may appear, that Optimus is trying out a little bit of Decepticon duplicity on Megatron."

Part 8

"Starscream! I'm going to kill you!" Megatron yelled. "Slowly!"

"And you," he snarled to Optimus, "I'm going to kill first. I'm going to rip out your spark chamber and wear it on a chain around my neck. I'm going to-"

"Hush," Optimus interrupted calmly. "You are going to be quiet. I have better uses for your mouth."

Megatron stared at him, optics blinking in shock. "What?" he hissed. "How dare you. That lust ray is scrambling your circuits!" He struggled some more, but Optimus held firm. He also continued that maddening thrusting. Megatron could feel the heat starting to build up in his interface equipment. He had to resist suggestions from the LHP programming that he should open his interface panel and do what his Prime obviously wanted.

Then, in a move almost too fast for Megatron to follow, Optimus changed his hold on Megatron's wrists, gripping both in one hand while he pulled something out of a compartment. Optimus slapped the device on Megatron's wrists before he even registered the opportunity to break free. The device hummed and clicked, and suddenly his hands were so heavy he couldn't lift them from the ground.

Megatron howled in frustrated rage. He fought these new restraints until the systems in his arms screamed warnings that he was causing damage.

Optimus let him rage against his bonds, but didn't pull away. He stayed laying on Megatron, using his weight to keep him from thrashing too wildly.

Finally realizing that he wasn't going to force his way free, Megatron stopped his struggling and gave his systems a chance to cool down.

"I hate you," he said, glaring at Optimus. "What do you want?"

"I told you."

"You lie," Megatron said, his voice flat. "You said you wanted a fight to end our war. This," he sneered at their current situation, "is not a fight. This is one of Starscream's slagging inventions fragging up your CPU."

Optimus shook his head sadly, then shifted his weight so he could raise one hand and gently touch Megatron's face. "You have no idea of the things I want," he said softly.

Part 9

Megatron stared, stunned by what appeared to be open, honest yearning in Optimus's face. He wanted to shake his head, reject that Optimus might be doing this for something other than an end to their civil war. This entire situation was edging too close to old dreams; dreams which were now bitter and brittle from long years of unfulfillment. Turning his head, he tried to bite Prime's fingers, anything to prevent Optimus from saying something more. Frag Starscream and his slagging lust ray for putting him in this situation.

Optimus hardly reacted to his aggression, merely pulling his hand from harm's way. He seemed to realize, however, that he had slipped and revealed something Megatron was not yet willing to hear. Optimus closed his optics for a few seconds, gathered himself, and when he met Megatron's gaze again, he was the dominate, confident mech of a few minutes before.

"I want so many, many things," Optimus said slowly, his tone now mischievous and sly, and the new tone made this phrase much easier for Megatron to accept.

"Of course you do," Megatron mocked, ignoring the tendril of feeling that felt horribly like gratitude. He jerked at his bonds as Optimus began moving down his body, his touch knowledgeable and sure as he explored. "You want impossible things," he continued mocking, "like love and peace, and for everyone to get along like good little sparklings. You want-" Megatron choked back a groan as Optimus teased a bundle of wires that led to his spark chamber – Primus, that felt good!

Optimus chuckled and stroked the wires again, just to watch Megatron thrash and curse.

"I want those things," Optimus said simply as he sat up and pushed Megatron's legs wider apart. "But first, I want to know what you taste like. Open your interface panel."

It took a few tries for Megatron to get those words through his processor; never had he thought to hear such words from Prime's mouth. "What?" he screeched, then struggled with the LHP programming, which thought that Prime had a wonderful idea.

Grinning, Optimus leaned down, nipping and licking along the edges of his interface panel. "Open up, Megatron."

Megatron shuddered, his systems revving higher. Just the thought of Optimus licking his spike or fingering his valve was almost enough to send him into overload. Struggling with the temptation of giving in –of submitting to Prime-, Megatron forced himself to look away from the sight of his greatest opponent kneeling between his legs.

His optics naturally fell on the mechs gathered around them. He frowned, realizing that the circle was larger; there were more mechs. In fact, most of the Decepticons he could see were supposed to be on the front line keeping Autobots cut off in the canyon. And if he hadn't completely fried his processor, he was pretty sure that the Autobots he could see edging around the circle towards Prime's SIC were the very same slaggers that had been caught in the canyon.

"Primus," Megatron grumbled. "Can't anybody follow orders anymore?"

Apparently Optimus thought this was very funny, and Megatron found himself squirming as the vibrations from the Autobot's laughter sent his arousal higher.

Optimus immediately caught his reaction and pressed a kiss against a bundle of sensors just above his interface panel, humming happily.

"You Pitspawn Autobot!" Megatron cursed and arched into the sensation.

Shouting and cursing suddenly arose from the circle, with a familiar, screechy voice rising above it all. "Out of my way!" Starscream demanded, and shoved his way into the circle, his trine mates flanking him.

All three seekers stopped and gaped at him. Megatron had the fleeting thought that their expressions would be hilarious if he hadn't been the cause of their shock.

Then Starscream -with complete and utter predictability- grinned his smug, stupid grin and said, "Well, mighty Megatron, it's about time someone got you on your back with your feet in the air."

Megatron roared, fury overtaking him. This time, he really was going to kill the slagger! And in that brief moment, with all his attention on Starscream, the scales tipped even farther in Optimus's favor.

The LHP programming broke through his mental walls long enough to send out one single, simple command.

Megatron's interface panel slid open.

Part 10

Distracted as he was by his fury with Starscream, Megatron didn't immediately notice his body's betrayal. Optimus solved that oversight by licking a single broad strip across his spike housing.

"Ah!" Megatron yelled in shock, and automatically tried to squirm away. Realization quickly dawned as the LHP programming hummed happily behind its mental walls. 'No! Primus damn it, no!' he thought and struggled for the command to close his panel. He was not going to lose this way - not going to surrender to Optimus under the influence of Starscream's slagging invention - because that would be like losing to Starscream himself, and Megatron's very spark rebelled against that.

Optimus did not take favor with his distracted thoughts. "Pay attention," Optimus gently chided, and pressed a few nipping kisses to the sensors around Megatron's spike housing in punishment.

"Slag you," Megatron moaned. He barely heard Starscream's laughter and his demands for his invention to be found. This felt amazing. Maybe, a traitorous little thought in the back of his processor spoke up, submitting wouldn't be such a bad thing.

"Much better," Optimus praised. Holding Megatron's gaze, Optimus lowered his head to Megatron's spike housing and gave the tip of his spike several short, intense licks before hitting the release that would allow him to free the spike. Optimus gently took the spike tip in his mouth and slowly pulled Megatron's spike out, humming in enjoyment.

Panting as his systems overheated, Megatron's entire world narrowed down to Optimus's mouth. Primus! If he'd known that the Autobot was capable of this, he would have considered a cease fire vorns ago!

Optimus opened a private comm. line. 'I've wanted to see you like this for ages,' he admitted.

'What? At your mercy?' Megatron managed to snarl as Optimus began long, firm licks down his spike.

'No, you flushed with arousal at my touch.'

Megatron groaned as more heat swamped his systems and rocked his hips to Optimus's mouth, trying to encourage some suction. Optimus, the fragging tease, merely laughed at him and gripped his hips, holding him still. Megatron fussed as his bonds, wishing he could get his hands free so he could hold Prime's head still and actually thrust into his mouth.

The noise of the watching soldiers around them was once again interrupted by Starscream. "What the frag? This isn't my lust ray!"

"You sure, Screamer?" Skywarp spoke up from somewhere in the crowd. "Because it sure looks like the one you use on TC and me."

"It's the prototype, you dimwit!" Starscream yelled.

The crowd quieted for a second, then Thundercracker asked the obvious. "So…what?"

"So what?" Starscream sassed back. "It doesn't work, that's what!"

Megatron gaped at Optimus as that bit of information cast the last several minutes in a whole new light. "You manipulative, conniving, glitched-" he searched for a word horrible enough to encompass his feelings "-Autobot!" he roared. He twisted and kicked at his Prime, managing blows to his shoulder and hip before Optimus pinned him again with his weight. The LHP program screamed in frustration and hurled insults in the back of his mind, angered at what it saw as a loss of hard won progress.

"Megatron! Listen to me!" Optimus ordered as he struggled with him.

"Frag you!" Megatron spat. He couldn't believe he'd actually considered submitting to this lying-

"Listen!" Optimus snapped, and when Megatron began to curse some more, Optimus slapped a hand over his mouth. "I said listen to me, you stubborn slagger!"

Megatron glared and tried to bite him. Optimus merely squeezed his hand harder, and after a few clicks, Megatron backed down, putting his anger aside. He needed to think clearly. Optimus cautiously removed his hand.

"Nothing I have said or done today has held any untruth," Optimus said slowly, with complete sincerity. "Let this war end. We have a bigger battle ahead of us, the very survival of our people. We must unite-"

Megatron tuned the lecture out, knowing Optimus well enough to guess what he was going to say. He was beginning to realize something and he needed to think it through. Optimus was right; their war had to end this very day. The only question was the way in which it would end. Megatron had no doubt that he could convince Optimus to release his hands, to have his proposed fight with fists and weapons, until one of them was beaten into submission. But, at the same time, Megatron couldn't help but think of how Optimus had touched his face with longing born of something other than lust, and of how he'd diverted and manipulated an entire battle into what was essentially nothing more than a sex charged wrestling match. Megatron had to respect and even admire that.

The Decepticon leader began to laugh with sincere amusement, which brought Optimus's lecture to a stumbling halt.

"I will submit on one condition," he said clearly. Utter silence descended on the battlefield, except for one voice.

"What?! You're a traitor to the Decepticon cause, Megatron," Starscream yelled, then cursed as Prime's Unicorn spawned twins shoved through the crowd and tackled him. Thundercracker and Skywarp joined in, but instead of defending their trine leader, Thundercracker pinned his legs while Skywarp stuffed a cleaning rag in his mouth. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe looked at their helpers in shock.

"As I was saying," Megatron continued dryly, "I will submit on one condition."

Optimus's optics were beginning to shine with hope. "And what might that be?"

"You finish what you started." Megatron rocked his hips, rubbing his bared interface equipment against Optimus's still covered panel. The noise of the crowd rose, the cheering and the shouting almost beyond bearing.

Optimus laughed with relief and happiness. "My pleasure," he said, and shifted to retract his own panel. Optimus pulled his own spike out and teasing touched the tip against Megatron's valve.

"Yes," Megatron hissed, finally seeing some relief in sight. He brought his legs up, opening his body to his Prime the way he should have ages ago.

Optimus slowly pushed in to his valve. "So tight," he groaned, his body trembling. He paused, worried. 'Don't let me hurt you,' he said over the private comm. 'Why are you so tight? You shouldn't be this tight…'

Megatron shifted a little and fought with his body for a moment, finally convincing his body to relax; his valve slowly stretching to accommodate Optimus's width. The Prime sunk in until he was fully seated. Shivering with reaction, Megatron buried his face into Optimus's neck, where he wouldn't have to see his face. 'I still follow the old customs,' he admitted.

Optimus stilled as he realized what Megatron was saying. The old customs dictated that a Lord High Protector existed to serve his Prime in all ways, including the berth. While Protectors might interface with others, they traditionally always saved their valve and their spark for their Prime only. Megatron had not had a valve interface since before he became Lord High Protector all those ages ago.

Megatron waited, breathing in Optimus's unique scent, and wondered what he was going to make of that information. Optimus didn't move for a few more clicks, then he shifted, one strong hand cradling Megatron's head close while he nuzzled his audio. "I'm honored," he whispered.

The Decepticon leader allowed it for a moment, then pulled back, smirking at Optimus. "Getting bored here," he said. "Frag me."

His Prime laughed – how good it was to think that again and truly mean it, his Prime – and reached for his arms, undoing his restraints. Megatron groaned with relief and wrapped his arms around Optimus's shoulders.

"Much better," Optimus said, and began to thrust, picking up speed as Megatron easily responded and moved with him. Megatron's world narrowed to the spike within him and the powerful body above him and it all felt so Primus damned good. His arousal climbed and for a little while, it almost seemed as if he'd never peak; he was content to be lost in that haze of pleasure. But Optimus's thrusts became quicker and harder, and then his Prime gently touched his face the way he had when he had told him that Megatron had no idea of the things he wanted.

Megatron tumbled into overload, and then into darkness.

***

He awoke to movement. He was looking at someone's aft. It took him a moment to realize that he was slung over Optimus's shoulder; the Autobot was carrying him off the battlefield. Megatron frowned at his undignified position and pondered protesting it, but realized there was no other way for his Prime to carry his bulk without throwing out a backstrut.

He twisted his head a little and realized that there were bots all around him, Decepticons and Autobots moving together as they cleared the battlefield. Up above, the sky was dark with clouds, threatening rain. That was why they were moving then. The canyon they had fought in was prone to severe flash flooding from rain happening farther up the mountainside. Everyone was clearing out while they could.

There was a commotion farther back in crowd. The Autobot twins struggled with Starscream for a few clicks before finally pushing him to his knees in front of the Autobot SIC. The SIC looked very pleased. Megatron grinned. Now that was a beautiful sight. Life was good.

He relaxed, his gaze automatically returning to Optimus's aft, which was also a very beautiful sight. The LHP programming was blissfully silent behind its mental walls. He savored the quiet, then contemplated letting Optimus know he was awake and could walk on his own damn feet.

A slow, wicked grin grew on Megatron's face. He grabbed Optimus's aft in both hands and squeezed.

Optimus shouted and stumbled, dropping him to the ground. Megatron laughed out loud. Life was very good indeed.

***

The End