Disclaimer: If I get sued, I want Miles Edgeworth as the prosecutor and Phoenix Wright as my defense attorney.

A Reason to Smile

Chapter 12

This has got to be someone else in the mirror.

Phoenix stared in disbelief at the haggard face looking back at him. Is this how I look like to Miles? I look like a ghost!

Dead people looked much better than him. Dead people like Mia, who looked more alive than that pale, wasted face with drooping black hair.

I've gotta fix this. I can't let people worry about me. Miles was definitely worried about him earlier on. He was being handled gentler than he should expect from the Demon Prosecutor. Asking the prosecutor to take his place on the defense bench was really the most he could ask. He couldn't trouble him any more.

First, the stained hoodie had to go. Not wanting to contaminate the rest of his laundry, he dropped it on the floor beside the sink. He was lucky the shirt underneath was puke-free; he could keep that on. Second, he reached for the mouthwash and gargled. He could hurl another round if the rancid taste in his mouth stayed any longer. Third, his drooping hair needed to be fixed – wetting them seemed to return some of the spikes. Last – he hadn't really noticed it until then – his bladder was full.

And the toilet was dirty again.

It wasn't easy, trying to ignore the urge to clean the toilet after emptying his bladder, but he managed to force himself to exit the bathroom with unsteady steps. The distance to the sofa seemed dauntingly large, but he could make it on his own.

"Let me."

Miles was beside him even before he could make the second step, offering his support again for the third time that night. For a short moment, he contemplated to quickly make his way across on his own, to prove that he had already felt much better, but Miles had already gently slid a shoulder under his arm. To be honest, Phoenix had already felt less self-conscious of the act, and Miles was being assertive, in a good way. He was getting tired of being difficult.

"I'm not usually like this, you know," Phoenix started, as he was being lowered onto the sofa, "being a trouble and all."

"I'm not usually this nice too, so milk it while it lasts," Miles said with a small grin, before seating himself down beside the defense attorney.

Phoenix answered with a laugh, which in turn made the prosecutor grinned even wider. This time, the attorney kept quiet and enjoyed the sight. Damned if he made the same mistake he did the first time. He only wished he could tell the man across from him how beautiful his smile was.

"Hey," he quietly called out, "thanks. For everything."

Miles turned towards him, "It's fine, you weren't very heavy."

Phoenix pretended he was offended, "I meant helping out with the case. Maya wanted to thank you personally too, but you know, duty and all..."

"It's not a big deal, really."

He could hear Miles clearing his throat quietly. Since young, his friend was never one to accept gratitude without feeling embarrassed, and it seemed the habit survived into adulthood.

"Well, it is for me. God, you chartered a plane," Phoenix shook his head, still feeling like it was only a dream. "You were always there when I needed help. You were there too, last year, when she was kidnapped. I thought I couldn't save her, but you helped us pull through."

The prosecutor seemed really uncomfortable at that point, but Phoenix hoped his friend could see how grateful he was to him. "...Maya's really important to me."

"...Anyone could see that." Miles finally remarked.

Phoenix ran both hands across his face as he leaned into the sofa. "I'm gonna really miss her. It just doesn't feel right without her around the office. She says she's gonna help out as much as she can, but Kurain wins over Wright & Co. Law Offices anytime, am I right?"

He could feel Miles leaning into the sofa too. "To be sure, she is in charge of overlooking an entire village."

Phoenix snorted, "Yeah, no mean feat, that." But quickly, his mood soured. "I don't think it's right though, pushing the responsibility onto her just like that. She's – what – eighteen? No, nineteen. Only nineteen, Miles. And her mother was just..." He couldn't finish his sentence.

Miles took in a deep breath beside him. "She has you."

Phoenix closed his eyes as he felt the world spinning again. "And I'll always be there for her." He paused a bit before continuing, "Sometimes I look at that kid, and she's just awesome by being strong, even in the worst of times. Where does she get her strength? I mean, I look at her and think, I want some of that too..."

"I daresay she takes some of her strength from you."

"No, I'm not that strong," Phoenix wanted to emphasize his point by shaking his head, but it only aggravated his vertigo. "I...I feel so helpless watching people close to me getting hurt. I'm so sick of it. Why couldn't I protect them? I-"

"And you say I have issues. Look at you, piling unnecessary burdens onto yourself."

Unnecessary burdens...The words struck a nerve. It was so Edgeworth to deem everything unworthy of his time as unnecessary. But who the hell was he to judge Phoenix's feelings and actions? Enraged by the man's callous remark, he pushed himself up and confronted the egoistic bastard.

"That's because I know how it feels to be on that side, and I don't want anyone to have to go through that feeling alone! You should know how it feels, you've been there before!"

Miles's face flushed for a second, and Phoenix knew he hit somewhere he probably shouldn't. He hoped he could blame it on the alcohol later.

"Wright, believe it or not, I'm not trying to start an argument with you. You are not at the best of your mind now, but I sincerely hope what I'm saying right now will drill itself through that thick skull of yours," Miles was furious, it was plain to see. He was being pointed at vehemently by the prosecutor's index finger. "You will cease all detrimental actions to yourself at once!"

Phoenix's addled mind tried to come up with a retort, but Miles didn't even give him the chance to think.

"Your reckless disregards to yourself is unhealthy. You put the well-beings of other people above yours. You ran across a burning bridge, with no regards to your own safety. You...you swallowed a bottle of poison just to get rid of evidence against Dahlia Hawthorne!"

Just that name was enough to rile Phoenix, but words still failed him, "I wasn't – ! I was – "

I was protecting a false image of Dollie that I failed to see through.

He was fast losing his steam, and the nauseating feeling returned, "...if I hadn't been so blind and so stupid, I could have stopped her...I could have...She needed help. If only I had realized it earlier, I could have saved her...and everyone else..."

I failed everyone. All of this could have been prevented if I hadn't been so stupid...Maya, Pearls, Misty Fey, Iris, Godot...

He felt sick to his stomach. The feeling wouldn't pass, even when he tried to apply pressure with both his arms, and curl himself into a ball. It was all his fault. Godot was right, he was a failure.

"Wright, for goodness' sake, you cannot play hero to everyone!"

He could still hear Miles, but even his childhood hero couldn't help him now.

I failed Dollie and Mia, and almost lost Maya...I'm a failure...

"Do you honestly believe she is salvageable? At some point in life you'll have to believe that evil exists, and you cannot play savior to those people, and I sincerely hope it had better be now, or I swear, your unconditional trust in people will not end well."

There could be some truth in his old friend's words, but it is his belief that people were pushed onto the wrong path because of situations beyond their control, and that everyone deserved a chance. Even people like Dahlia Hawthorne.

"Wright?"

On any other day, he would have taken up on the debate, but he didn't feel like saying anything then. The fact still remained that he screwed up with Dollie. Do failures even get a chance to plea his case?

"Wright!"

...What am I doing? I'm making him worried about me again.

"I heard you," he responded, finally lifting his head and smile. Forcing a smile was nothing difficult to him. Mia had taught him well. At least I won't fail her in this aspect.

Looking into Miles's face and smiling was harder. There was always the feeling that those gray eyes could see through his every bluff.

As expected, Miles didn't look convinced. "...Were you listening to me just now?"

"Every word." Even though I don't feel the same way. His stomach churned.

Miles's eyes looked away, but his voice did not waver. "You sometimes risk your own career or even your life for the sake of others, and I acknowledge that it is very courageous of you. But have you thought about how worried...they would be for you?"

Phoenix blinked. He had probably never stopped to think of that. What was there to worry about? It wasn't like he was anyone worth worrying over.

Miles continued without waiting for an answer. "This has been gnawing at me for a time now...you deliberately chose the stairs over the elevators. Was it for my sake?"

He found out. "Like I said, they were out of commission..."

"Objection. They were working fine. I heard the motors moving. You weren't in the best of shape to climb stairs, and yet, you did it because you knew I still can't take the elevator."

Phoenix rubbed his neck. So much for being discreet.

Miles was looking at everywhere but him. It mustn't had been easy for the proud man to admit his phobia. "...It would be nice, if you could see that you're...important to other people too."

The prosecutor's hesitation in his sentence was easy to notice, but hard to guess why. It made the spiky-haired man slightly nervous to think that he could be worrying anyone. But he wasn't so dense to not wonder if – maybe – a certain someone would think of him as important to them. And how nice it would feel if it was the truth.

As a child, Phoenix Wright was nothing incredible. He was born to an ordinary family, in an ordinary neighborhood, and would have led an otherwise ordinary school life, save for his two amazing buddies whom he befriended in elementary school. They left so big an impression on him, that he started to venture out more, made more friends, see more of the world and the people living in it; and came to realize that if people were happy, so was he. Drama and art puts a smile on people's faces; and defending the innocent can help save a despaired soul from the brink.

He wasn't very eye-catching. He didn't stand out in class. Every now and then he would develop a crush on someone nice, but nothing ever came out of it. He did wonder how it would feel to be important to a special person. As his friends started to get hitched one by one, he would feel left out. It didn't help that Dollie entered that part of his life in time, and how he fell for her!

But one does not easily forget their first crush, and the possibility of Phoenix being important to said crush, was a complicated feeling that momentarily stunned him.

It couldn't be...Am I reading too much into this?

"Hey, Miles," he called out, his voice wavering a little, despite his best efforts.

Miles slowly turned to face him, but the redness creeping up his ears was undeniable. Being so fair-skinned must have sucked at times like these.

He knew there would probably never be a better chance than this for a very long time, but getting the right words out was a lot harder than he thought. "...Define 'other people'."

Really? 'Define'? That's the best I could come up with?

Miles looked irritated. "...Well, for starters, your special someone, Maya perhaps?"

Phoenix wanted to curb the smile growing on his face, but he wasn't a stranger to the accusation. "Maya and I are not special someones, no matter how hard Pearls wishes for it to be true. She's more like my kooky little sister that I can't stop worrying about."

"Are you serious?"

Now that Phoenix had gotten the prosecutor's attention, he found that Miles was wearing the same flabbergasted face whenever he was caught by surprise in court. "I'm used to it, people confusing us as a couple. Pearls would so slap me if I tried to explain it to her though."

Miles looked troubled, "I don't mean to pry, but I've always associated Maya as your...significant other."

"Mia handed her over to me. I need her as much as she needs me. But that doesn't make us lovers." He paused tentatively, wondering if it's too soon to show his cards, but gave in ultimately. "I'm not in a relationship now, but I do have someone of interest though. And it's definitely not Maya."

The prosecutor eyed him suspiciously, even as he took the bait. "You don't mean...Sister Iris?"

Phoenix sighed. If there's anyone that could connect the dots in the case, trust it to be Miles Edgeworth. He felt guilty for enjoying this change of topic, that he could forget for a moment how much of failure he was, though. "How much have you heard from her?"

Miles cleared his throat slightly, "I can't say it's much, but it's clear that the two of you know each other very well, and she...excuse me, but it's probably not for me to tell you what she thinks of you, though of course, I'm sure you'd have already known about it."

"...If we'd met each other again a few years ago, who knows." He rested his head on the sofa, and looked at the uncomfortable man in front of him. He has to know the answer by now. Miles was fidgeting. Probably trying to piece someone else to me. "Say, you and Franziska...are you...?"

Funnily, Miles seemed to think the idea downright unthinkable. "Certainly not! We practically grew up together – I would never!"

Phoenix was tickled, "Just checking. Who's your special someone, then?"

The prosecutor was livid, "We are not discussing my private life!"

It was too much for Phoenix to keep it down, so he bursted out laughing. It was such a hearty laugh that his eyes watered, and his previously churning stomach felt like it could really hurl a second round; but he welcomed the uncomfortable feeling. Anything to divert his attention from his self-deprecating mind.

The prosecutor made a face, and groaned into his hand, "For my sanity's sake, please do not tell me your person of interest is actually Franziska..."

"I don't have a death-by-whipping wish," Phoenix laughed even harder.

Miles scrunched his eyebrows in irritation, "Mind you, she is still my sister. I ought to take offense to that."

Phoenix tried his best to stop giggling. He had a feeling the man was going to pair him up with any other female acquaintances before he would even consider the possibility. It might have never crossed his mind, not even once.

The man sighed in defeat. "With the way you are now, Wright, you seemed to be on an emotional roller-coaster. You're a terrible drinker."

"And you're a great friend. Thanks, Miles," he smiled back.

I guess I'll fold my hand. That was stupid of me to think he'll see me the way I see him.

Author's note: If you're still reading this after all these years, thank you! I know I have slowed down considerably since the last few chapters, because of lifestyle changes and whatnot. I'll do my best to pick the pace up.

Oh yeah, AA5 is awesome!