AN: Okay. This idea was in part due to Amethyst DragonRider being an awesome person. She was the one who was listening to "Be Prepared" from Disney's The Lion King and the one who made the comment that the song reminded her of Ivan. After a rather fun conversation, we decided to Hetalia-cize the scene for the hell of it.
Ivan, of course, is Scar. Eduard is Banzai, Natalia is Shenzi (Which caused many LOLs on my part), and (this caused many ROFLCOPTERS to go off) Raivis is Ed (*giggle*). Arthur is Mufasa (Mufasa!), Alfred is Simba (who else?), Matt is Nala (LOL), Roderich is Zazu (LOLOL). That's all that matters as far as this scene goes.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not Ammy's. I guess I sorta claim the changes I made to the lyrics, but the lyrics themselves are owned by Disney, I'm sure. Got the lines from this from "lionking dot org" where they actually have an all inclusive script set up for anyone to look at. Hetalia is (c) Hidekaz Himaruya.
Listen to the song while reading, it makes it more hilarious.
In a cold and desolate part of Siberia, near the North Pole somewhere, there was a large mansion, around which the snow swirled in a deadly dance. In it, several people found their home in these horrible times they faced – banishment from the rest of the world was harsh enough... Banishment to send them here was even worse. He already wanted to rule the world... this just added to his desire - revenge, payback, pushing those who had pushed him away into submission.
They had had a run in with the worthless little 'superpowers'. It showed by how much they hurt.
Arthur – damn him for ruling most of the trading waves and influential areas!
Alfred – Tiny and worthless at this point, barely even useful as a possible heir to that British bastard's 'throne'.
Roderich – that damn crony of Arthur's, who called himself an 'assistant'...
There had been another, one who had been with Alfred when he wandered into their realm, but he had merely hid away behind Alfred and tried to make himself invisible. None of them particularly cared... they didn't even get to harm the superpowers, it rather irritated them.
"Damn that British bastard!" Eduard muttered weakly, leaning against a wall with a pained face, though there was a perfectly serviceable chair to his left. "Damn him and his stupid unicorns, I won't be able to sit for a week!" his pants were torn on his backside, and there were several hoof-prints and a few rather painful looking holes.
Raivis, to the left, giggled to himself quietly, but it was enough to get Eduard's attention.
"This isn't funny, Raivis!" the tall blond nation snapped, glaring. Try as he might, Raivis couldn't stop his giggles. "Shut up!" Raivis was laughing even harder now, unable to stop. Eduard pushed off of the wall and tackled the tiny nation, unable to contain himself.
Natalia sighed in irritation, standing to the side, "Will you two knock it off?!" she snapped, glaring at the two. Eduard hurriedly stood up again, glaring right back while Raivis tried to right himself, shaking slightly.
"He started it!"
Natalia rolled her eyes in annoyance at the two of them, letting out another aggravated sigh. "Look at you two! No wonder we're worth less than dirt!"
Eduard looked bitterly around the freezing cold mansion, sighing in frustration, "I hate being worthless."
Natalia leaned against the doorframe, eyes closed and the bow in her hair nearly falling out. She crossed her arms over her chest, frowning deeply, "Yeah?" she scowled, "If it weren't for those superpowers, we'd be running this world…"
"Yeah… I hate those superpowers." Eduard scoffed as Raivis made himself scarce in the corner, shaking again.
"So pushy." Natalia complained.
"And hairy." Eduard offered in a bitter tone.
Natalia began to smile a very scary smile at this, still leaning against the doorframe and beginning to get into the game of insulting the superpowers. "And stinky~" she purred with a smirk.
Eduard smiled back at her, sneering, "And man, are they…"
"UuuuuuuuugLY!" they cackled together, Natalia throwing her head back in the laugh as Eduard curled in on himself.
"Oh, really, surely we superpowers aren't all that bad…" a silky, naïve sounding voice chuckled as Ivan strode into the room from the other door, pulling off his scarf. Eduard jumped to attention, shoulders shaking slightly as he whirled around to face Ivan. Seeing the tall Russian, he relaxed somewhat, though still looked tense.
"Ohhh…" he sighed in pseudo-relief, "Oh, Ivan, it's just you…"
"We thought it was someone important." Natalia simpered in her brother's direction, the leer on her face not leaving. There was sarcasm lacing the last word.
"Yeah." Eduard scowled, "You know… like Arthur."
"Yeah." Natalia said bitterly, pushing up to join the other two who were balking as Ivan took his place in the room.
"I… see…" Ivan said slowly, eyes narrowed through his innocent smile.
"That is power…" Eduard muttered under his breath.
Natalia, fearless, chuckled darkly and didn't screen her words, "Tell me about it… I hear that bastard's name and shudder."
"Arthur…" Eduard hissed at her, smirking again.
"Oooh…" Natalia shuddered theatrically, making a face that quickly shifted into a smirk toward Eduard, "Do it again."
"Arthur…" Eduard growled, leering.
"Oooohhhh…" Natalia shuddered again, giggling a demented giggle seconds later.
"Arthur, Arthur, Arthur!" Eduard said with a loud laugh, one that Natalia joined seconds later.
"Ooooooohhhhh… It tinglesme~" Natalia sneered, laughing hysterically.
Ivan sighed in slight annoyance, the smile barely dropping from his face as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"I'm surrounded by idiots, da?" he chuckled. Eduard backpedalled, trying to fix the situation.
"N-Not you, Ivan, I-I-I mean, y-you're one of us, e-e-er, I-I mean… you're our friend…"
"Charmed." Ivan said in his silky, naïve, sarcastic voice. He pulled a faucet pipe from his coat and began inspecting it idly. Natalia smirked, walking over to him and touching his shoulder lightly. He seemed unaffected.
"I like that…" she purred, "Not even in charge, but still so proper…"
Eduard's stomach burst out with complaints at this point, shortly followed by Raivis' and Natalia's. Natalia flinched in displeasure, stepping away from Ivan. They hadn't eaten in a while – banishment was not a happy place where you could get food as you pleased.
"Hey, uh… did you bring us anything to eat, Ivan, old buddy, old pal?" Eduard asked shakily, grinning weakly, "Huh? Did-ya-did-ya-did-ya?" he tried to use his 'don't hurt me I'm tired and hungry and the situation is grim, let me use humor please' voice.
"I don't know if you really deserve this~" Ivan sang as he held up a big carton of food, having gone to a lot of trouble to get it after all that had happened. A few heads had rolled, but he really didn't mind. "I practically gift wrapped those children for you…" he tossed the food onto the table, where his three starving sidekicks converged to rip it apart. "And you couldn't even take care of them~"
"Forgive us, brother, but it's not as if they were alone." Natalia said through a full mouth, pulling a good deal of the food away from the main dish for herself.
"Yeah, what'd you expect us to do… kill Arthur?" Eduard asked around a swallow.
Ivan's innocent smile turned harsh and sharp, and he chuckled darkly, once again examining the faucet-pipe in his hands. "Precisely..."
The three nations looked up at him questioningly, mouths full. Ivan pushed off from where he was leaning against the counter, humming to himself. "I know that your powers of retention… are as wet as a caribou's hide… but thick as you are…" he whacked a turkey wing out of Raivis' hand, making the tiny nation squeak and whimper away. "Pay attention!" he snarled, "My words are a matter of pride!"
He looked at the three of them, who were looking blankly back at him. "It's clear from your vacant expressions…" Natalia and Eduard frowned at this, but Raivis was too terrified to make any change to his expression. "The lights are not all on upstairs!"
Natalia and Eduard snickered to themselves as Ivan leaned toward the terror-ridden Raivis, who squeaked and seemed to become smaller. They almost missed the next couple of lines of Ivan's spontaneous song. "But we're talking countries, successions! Even YOU" he snarled at them, making them jump backwards. The table collapsed under their combined weight, "can't be caught unawares!" He started laughing an insane, humorless laugh.
"So, prepare, for the chance of a lifetime! Be prepared for sensational news! A shining new era… is tiptoeing nearer…"
"And why should we bother?" Natalia interrupted, eyes narrowing thoughtfully as her beloved brother sang. She inched toward him, and he lightly caressed her cheek, smirking.
"Just listen to brother." He murmured softly, tilting his head. She lightly touched her cheek, tingeing red. "I know it sounds sordid, but you will be rewarded, when at last Russia's ruling the world! Let no mercy for Arthur be spared! Be prepared!"
He whirled on Raivis, who was cowering in a corner, and pushed him over to the other two who were trying to right the table. The table collapsed again, and they grunted in pain. Eduard, eager to calm him down, laughed weakly, "Y-Yeah, be prepared, heh, yeah - we'll be prepared..." He swallowed, "F-For what?"
"For the fall of Britannia." Ivan smirked.
"Wh-Why, is he sick?"
"No, fool." Ivan snarled, gripping him by the collar and hoisting him, gasping, into the air, "We're going to kill him. That brat Alfred too..."
"Great idea, brother~ Who needs a ruler?" Natalia smirked, beginning in a sing-song-y voice, "No ruler, no ruler, la-la-la-la-laa-laa~" Eduard joined her halfway through and they teasingly jabbed each other, shoving as they stood near Ivan. Ivan made a face.
"Idiots! There will be a ruler!"
"B-But you said, uh..." Eduard bit his lip.
"I WILL BE RULER! Be one with me..." He gave a toothy grin, "And you'll never go hungry again~ da?"
Natalia and Eduard clapped their hands enthusiastically, "Whoo~ All one with Russia!" Indeed, it sounded like all of Russia was chanting their cry.
"All one with Russia! All one with Russia!"
They chuckled among themselves, practically hearing the hundreds of thousands of voices as they chanted together, "It's great that we'll soon be connected~ with a ruler who's all time adored!"
"Of course," Ivan interrupted, "Quid pro quo, you're expected... to take certain duties on board..." He slammed the faucet pipe against the counter, making a long crack appear before he held it to Eduard's throat. Eduard swallowed uneasily.
"Our future is littered with prizes... And though I'm the main addressee~ The point that I must emphasize is, you wouldn't be here without me!" he laughed again, lightly tapping Raivis on the head with his faucet pipe. The short man whimpered fearfully.
He sang the next verse with Eduard and Natalia singing counterpoint, determinedly evil grins on their faces as their voices faded in and out of Ivan's song.
"So prepare for the coup of a century!" "Oooh!"
"Be prepared for the murkiest scam!" "Oooh... La! La! La!"
"Meticulous planning!" "We'll be worth!"
"Tenacity spanning!" "More than dirt!"
"Decades of denial," "We're not rude!"
"Is simply why I'll," "Just want food!"
They started singing "Ahhhhhh!" as he went through his big finish, beginning to laugh through the end of the song.
"Rule all undisputed, respected! Saluted! And seen as Russia should be seen!" He looked at them and they grinned back at him, eager grins as they shifted to "Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo!"
"With my weapons and ambitions bared, be prepared!"
Even Raivis joined in as Natalia and Eduard nodded eagerly, all three singing, "We have our weapons and ambitions bared! We're prepared!"
They all laughed evilly among themselves, envisioning a new world that didn't seem so far out of reach anymore. They would no longer have to whither away in that mansion in Siberia, surrounded by snow.