Authors note: Sadly I own nothing of the Harry Potter realm...*Sigh* All contents, save the plot, belong to the lovely J.K. Rowling.

Chapter 1 - Monster

Hogwarts. Bloody Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. What an absurd school. And I have to go back. Although, I suppose anywhere is better than here. This is hell. Worse than hell. If there is a Satan, my father would give him a run for his money. The only good thing about this place is my mother. At least she gives a shit about me. It's my last year, thank Merlin! I punch the train compartment door on the way out. The glass shatters, but I keep walking. Someone yells at me to fix it and I turn around. Granger. Stupid bint. I smirk at her and head to the carriages. She's changed. A right better sight than she was last year with her huge mass of hair sticking out all over the place. She pushes past me and I catch sight of a nicly rounded bottom and creamy smooth legs. Much beter sight.

The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

Blah, blah, blah. His speeches get worse every year. I just want to eat and go to my new dorm. I still can't believe I got Head Boy this year. It has it's advantages. Being me, Draco Malfoy, has it's advantages as well. Practically everyone is afraid of me. Mostly due to the fact that my father is Lucius Malfoy, Death Eater Extraordinare. I roll my eyes at that thought. Bloody bastard. My abs still hurt from his last beating. I can't wait to graduate so I can get out of that hell hole. I hold back my anger so I don't break something else. Save it until later, I tell myself, then you can destroy your new room and make the bloody house elves fix it. Won't Granger be pleased. I'm not suprised that she got Head Girl. It was very much expected. Dumbledore must really be mad to think that we're going to get along this year.

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

Ahhh, freedom. The new dorm is impressive. Though the color scheme sucks. Green and red. Looks like bloody christmas all year long. I have to share a bathroom with Gragner. Thats just cruel and unusual punishment. Though I suppose I can put up with it for my own room. I toss my wand in my sock drawer and focus on the glass lamp on my bedside table. Letting out all my anger and pain, it explodes in a shower of glass. I spin around and slam my fist into the stone wall again and again. This is the only repreive I get from my father. I have a lot of built up anger after the summer. It takes me several weeks to get it all out. There's a knock on the door. I ignore it. It's probably Granger wondering what all the noise is. I glance at my fists. They're covered in blood. I think I can actually see the bone in one of my fingers. I fall onto my bed and try to tramp down the anger for a while.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

Classes... Don't get me started. Professors? Even more ridiculous. I know all this shit already. And why the bloody hell do we need to know how to transform a bird into pillow?! If I want a fucking pillow, I'll go buy one. McGonagall asks a question and as usual Grangers hand shoots up in the air. And as usual she's right.

Defense against the dark arts. A cunundrum in it's self, as we have a werewolf for a teacher. Wonder who's going to teach when he transforms? Not that I care. I don't need this class. Don't need protection from the Dark Arts. It kinda runs in my family. It seems to show up more so in my crazy arse Aunt Bellatrix. Bloody nutters she is! Scares the begebies outa me sometimes. And the way she's always hanging on the Dark Lord is just disgusting. She's married and she's practially shagging a 7 times dead guy. Disturbing...

Potions. Finally a class worth while! Poison your enemies with practically untracable ingredients. I consider using this on Pothead and Weaselbee but dismiss the idea. With my luck I'd get caught and kicked out of school and sent back to the bastard I'm supposed to call father. Snape walks by and I try not to shudder. He might be my Godfather but he really needs to learn some hygiene. His hair is so greasy you could make chips with it. A sudden bout of anger takes over me and I kick the bottom of my table, causing the leg to break. Opps.

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

Night time. A time I fear at 'home'. Always dreading the late night visits my my 'father'. I recall the last late night visit I had over the summer holidays.

'Wake up Draco. It's time for your' Smirk. 'Lesson.' I climb out of bed, knowing by now that it'll be worse if I don't obey. His fist comes out of nowhere and makes contact with my ribs.

I quickly shake my head before the scene gets to much further and I lose my temper. I close my eyes and deliberatly relax every muscle in my body, taking deep breaths. I drift off into a dreamless sleep. Which I'm thankful for.

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it
'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I love running. Running until my muscles scream. Physical pain is the only reprieve I get from my anger. I figure running until I can't move is better than punching the wall until I break every bone in it, and possibly the wall. And it keeps me in shape. Which is good. I've only been here a week and already I feel as if I'm going crazy. Not Aunt Bellatrix crazy. Just normal crazy. There's so many rules here. It sucks. It's better than 'home'. But it still sucks. Merlin, I can't wait to get the hell out of here! ROCK! GROUND! Shit. I pick up the rock that tripped me and hurl it as far as I can before puching the nearest tree as many times as I can.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

Shit. She's talking to me. Asking what happened to me hand.

"You should go see the nurse." She says. I ignore her and go up to my room to take a bath. Halfway through my bath, the door to her room opens and I catch sight of a purple bed. Purple... huh. She doesn't seem to notice me. She picks up her toothbrush and starts scrubbing her teeth.

"Could you leave?" I ask in an annoyed tone. She jumps and spins around then turns bright red. She mumbles an apology, throws her toothbrush in the sink and runs out. *Smirk* I sure can clear a room. I get out of the bath and dry off. Go in my room and pull on a pair of green and black pajama pants. Grab my homework and go to the common room to work on it. Granger comes down a few minutes later. She stops at the bottom of her steps and I see her stare at me. *Smirk*

"As the muggles say, take a picture. It'll last longer." I look up and smirk at her. She turns red. Walks to her armchair and starts reading her book

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! I don't fucking WANT to go home for christmas! I pick up the coffee table in the common room and throw it against the wall. Granger comes running down the stairs. Ah, idea. I swiftly walk up to her and pin her against the wall in between the kitchen doorway and the staircase leading to her room. She's scared. Good. I crash my lips to hers. The instant our lips touch my whole body relaxes. Weird. It usually doesn't happen that way. I pull back quickly and take off out of the common room. Run all the way through the castle. Push people out of the way. Run to the Forbidden Forest. Keep running. Maybe I'll get lucky and something will eat me. By now, Granger has probably told Pothead and Weasel. They'll probably confront me about it. Good. I need a good fight. Which it might be. If they both fight me at once. I stop. Look around and sigh. I know right where I am. Pissed, I start beating the nearest tree. Trees and walls are my favorite. They don't move or make sound.

It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster

She didn't tell them. Why didn't she tell them? Is she waiting to confront me herself? That would suck. I can't hit females. I look up and see her watching me intently. She quickly looks away from me and I frown. Not something I do often. Pansy is droning on and on about something. I focus on her goblet. Steadily, it raises above her head and flips upside down. The people closest to us are rolling with laughter. *Smirk* I've been working on wandless magic. Needless to say, it's going quiet well. At least she's quit talking. Nope spoke to soon. There she goes again. I roll my eyes and Blaise snickers. Pansy stops for a second to glare at Blaise, who dons his 'Who me?' face. And there she goes again. On and on and on and on... My plate explodes. Opps. Too much concentration.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

She's making me nervous. ME! DRACO MALFOY! NERVOUS! Mother of Merlin! What does this woman want? She still hasn't told Saint Potter and boy wonder. How do I know this? They're not furious. Everytime I enter the common room she's sitting in her armchair and she opens her mouth to speak. Just about then, 1 of 2 things happens. Either something explodes. Or I go straight to my room, or out the portrait. Which ever the case may be. I'm starting to question my sanity. Why in the name of Merlin did I kiss her? I needed an outlet. So why do I want to do it again? Because it calmed me down, better than anything else. Ya, for a second. I frown thinking about what I've begun calling 'The Incident'. I felt... something. I haven't the foggiest what it was. But it was there. Confused and furious I stride to the wall and start punching.

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I've gotta lose control, he something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster

Why the bloody hell am I up this late? Oh ya, I yawn, I couldn't sleep. I stare into the fire. Don't notice Granger coming down from her room. Suddenly she standing right in front of me. I look up. She's wearing light purple pajama pants and a black tank top, that shows off a generous amount of boobage. She pushes on my shoulders and climbs on my lap, straddling me. Attacks my lips with hers. Runs her hand through my hair. I concentrate and suddenly our clothes are gone. Trail my hand down her tight stomach to rub between her folds. Her head falls back. Hair cascading down to her waist in soft brown curls. I bite her chest, just above her tit and she moans. I grab my throbbing manhood and position it below her. She buries it in her, crying out in pleasure. So tight. So hot. So bloody wet. It's been so long since I've had this kind of contact. Her too apparently. Within a few pumps were both falling of the edge, calling each other's names.

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

And then I wake up with a mess in my pants...