(Chapter Five)

The days began to blur into each other again. It was, however, a good blur, like a gradual recovery from a long illness. School, Quidditch, homework and Cormac. It should have been weirder dating someone from a different house,, but it wasn't. In fact to an outsider it had to look like nothing had changed between Draco and Cormac and Draco appreciated that.

He avoided Blaise as much as possible, which wasn't much when they slept in the same dorm, played on the same team and had more than one class together. Blaise's comments about Draco's private life hadn't ceased, but Draco became used to them, could brush them off more easily even if that didn't stop them from hurting him.

Sometimes the prospect of leaving Hogwarts after this year was a temptingly easy solution to his problems, but he knew that the business world was a harsh and cold place where everyone fought for themselves and no one was anyone's friend. It was both the right and the wrong place for a Slytherin. The right place because it was an easy place to satisfy your ambition, and the wrong place because a Slytherin needed friends and family more than any other house. They didn't have hoards of friends but the few one had, you could usually trust your life with.

His father had had a family, had had friends, but Draco began to suspect that he didn't possess his father's loyalty-inspiring personality or his ability to see a person for what they were and how their weaknesses could be used.

The most important relationships of your life will be forged in school, his father had taught him that, and here he was, fucking a boy and mooning over another when he should be looking for a suitable girl and useful friends.

The third Quidditch match this year loomed in the near distance and despite the really nasty weather which contained mostly icy rain, stormy icy rain and hailstorm icy rain, Draco and all of the other three Quidditch captains were adamant about training. It was a small miracle in itself that none of them were killed in a mutinous coup.

The match against Ravenclaw went well enough. The team obviously still felt the loss of Roger Davies and Cho Chang had been replaced with a new Seeker, a second year Mudblood who looked like a Weasley and, while a better flyer than Chang, was clearly losing stamina the longer the game went. Not that Draco or anyone else appreciated that the match dragged on slowly in the current stormy icy rain that made it difficult for him to follow the game while looking for the snitch, which, Draco suspected, had found and nicely dry and warm place to wait the weather out.

The snitch decided to show itself four hours later, when every one of them was drenched to the bones and shivering like madmen. The whole affair lasted frantic 30 seconds where Draco tried to keep the slick gold ball in his hands while not falling from his broom – again, and the Ravenclaw seeker tried not to fall from his broom, period.

If they hadn't won it, this match would have been the most frustrating one he had ever played, but now it only ranked second to every match against Gryffindor, except the last one.

As soon as they entered the changing rooms, Blaise took off his tricot and threw it backwards – right into Hestia's face.

'Watch your stuff, Zabini.' Draco snapped angrily. Cold water still ran from his wet hair over his face and neck and did nothing to raise his mood.

'Or what, Draco?' Blaise turned around and smiled sweetly. Half-naked and wet as he was Draco had to force his eyes away from Blaise's bare chest and the way his skin moved over his flat chest and stomach but he managed.

'Or I'll replace you with Urquhart. I don't need someone on my team who can't treat his teammates with some respect.' He was tired, exhausted, hungry and cold like everyone else here and all he wanted was a hot shower and lunch, maybe a place on the couch next to the fireplace in the common room afterwards and every minute Blaise wasted on his little mind games brought him closer to being thrown out.

'You only let Urquhart into the substitute team because Theo won't play.'

'You're always saying that I'm good with begging on my knees, maybe I can persuade him.' Draco knew that the eyes of everyone in the room were on him and Blaise, but Draco was the captain and he made the rules, at least here, and he would teach Blaise that. Blaise must have seen that, because he rolled his eyes, holding his hands up in surrender, and said to Hestia, 'Sorry I hit you.'

'It's okay.' She answered and headed into the girl's showers with Fauna. Pan, Warrington and Blaise went to the other shower but Vaisey held Draco back, having a few suggestions for the training against Hufflepuff. Draco had wanted to brush him off, but one look at Blaise made him change his mind, and another half hour passed before he finally stood under a spray of hot water with the prospect of a warm meal in the immediate future in sight.

'Hey Draco,' Cormac called him over when Draco entered the half empty Great Hall. Both his and the Ravenclaw team sat scattered through the room, well the Ravenclaw team sat scattered through the room, his team were all at the Slytherin table with the exception of Hestia, who sat next to one of the Ravenclaw chasers. Blaise gave him a provocative grin, Draco returned it with a glare and sat down next to Cormac at the Gryffindor table, deeply enjoying the gaping from Potter and his fan club.

'You're at the wrong table, Malfoy.' Weasley sneered.

'As a prefect you should know that there are no seating rules,' Draco shot back, 'not that you could read them if there were.'

'And you're apparently colour blind,' Potter threw in, 'red.' He gestured to the Gryffindor table, 'and green.' He waved over to the Slytherin table.

'Potter, between the two of us I'm not the one who needs a tool to see who's sitting next to me. Also I'm not the one who tried to follow the footsteps of his murderous godfather.'

Potter paled at his words and kept his mouth shut.

'Here,' Cormac nudged him slightly and pushed a bowl under Draco's nose, filled with hot chicken soup, 'You look like you need it.'

Draco felt an absurdly big wave of gratefulness towards Cormac but managed to rein his emotions in, at least for now.

Last night's celebration had been rather long and they both had come very late to breakfast. Draco had planned to do his Transfiguration homework today; it was due tomorrow and McGonagall was merciless when it came to punctuality, not that he had anything better to do, Draco thought resignedly. He owed Pansy a bottle Firewhiskey later in Hogsmeade for trading prefect duty with her this morning, which meant not only avoiding herding in a whole common room full of hyperactive students that couldn't and wouldn't go out in the current weather but also avoiding Blaise. Theo had somehow managed to find a book in library he hadn't yet read and wouldn't be responsive at least to dinner. Draco suspected that Theo was responsible for at least three quarters of the new books in the Hogwarts library, after all he was the only student Madame Finch had never thrown out of her realm or at least give a warning.

'I'm busy.' Draco replied instantly. Cormac was in a suspiciously good mood and Draco really, really needed to write this essay.

'I'm back on the Quidditch team.' Cormac exclaimed with a smug satisfaction.

'Did Weasley drop dead and I missed it?' Draco asked dryly.

'Unfortunately not, but Potter can't play because of his detention for hurting you, Ginny replaces him as a seeker, her brother replaces her and I replace him.'

'Nice, but I'm still busy.'

'Homework? Need any help?'

'I've done my homework without your help for six and a half years, and I will be able to do it for the next one and a half years.'

'Maybe we could celebrate later in Hogsmeade.'

'Sorry, I'm meeting Pansy.'

'You're playing hard to get today,' Cormac whispered roughly and stepped nearer.

'I am hard to get,' Draco replied, 'ask anyone.'

'Oh, from what I hear some people from your Quidditch team would like you to be a bit more unavailable more often.'

'Huh.' Draco frowned. 'Who told you that?'

'People talk, even Slytherins.' Cormac grinned, 'See you later, then.' And left.

The Hufflepuff Gryffindor match was both satisfying and embarrassing to watch. Satisfying because Gryffindor lost 60 to 320, mostly thanks to Cormac and Weasley, who had his useful moments as a keeper but was absolutely worthless as a chaser.

Embarrassing because, well, Gryffindor used to be a worthy opponent for , but this year? Not so much.

Spring only became better after that, since Draco finally managed to beat Potter in Potions, and every damn time, much to Slughorn's utter puzzlement. Otherwise, he lost some of his time with Cormac since he needed, slowly but surely, to prepare for his NEWTs. He used his newly free time to spend with Crabbe and Goyle. He knew that it didn't always seem so, but he genuinely liked both of them, not as his equals, of course not, but they were still his friends and they, too, had lost their fathers. Goyle seemed to process it better but then he had never been very close to his father.

Easter came and went without anything interrupting the school's routine. If his team had been hoping that after the victories against Gryffindor and Ravenclaw he would go easier on them because their last match was only against Hufflepuff they were sadly mistaken. The Hufflepuff team was stronger than ever, even without Diggory, and they were still flying on a high after the spectacular victory against Gryffindor. At least the weather was getting sunnier and warmer with each passing day.

There were even moments now and then, when he was flying or sitting with his friends on the grass outside bathed in sunshine, or sleeping with Cormac, when he forgot for a few moments that his parents had been murdered, that he was in- that he liked Blaise too much for his own good, that he had no idea how his life would turn out after the end of this school year.

It happened, precisely, on the second Friday after Easter after a Quidditch training that had gone remarkably well and had left Draco with the certainty that his team was going to win the Quidditch Cup this year. He had stayed behind, tidying up a bit when he heard voices just outside the changing rooms. Most likely it was Pan and Fauna with their usual bickering, Draco had always thought that twins were tight, but these two were like cats and dogs except on the Quidditch field.

'Shut your fucking mouth, McLaggen!' He heard Blaise shout, apparently it wasn't Pan and Fauna then.

'Or what?' Cormac sneered, 'You're going to hex me, pretty boy?'

'I could, but I wouldn't want to lower myself to your level.'

'My level? And what exactly is my level? My talents certainly don't include prettiness.'

'They don't include Quidditch either. Is that why you have such a preference for talented Quidditch players? Lissie, Duncan, Katie, Maxine, Draco, me.'

Blaise had to be lying. He and Cormac couldn't stand each other, hated each other like he hated Potter.

'As if you were so much better with a new girl hanging off of your arm every few weeks when you'd like nothing more than to fuck your "best friend" against the next wall, which I do and I can tell you he's really good at it.'

At least they both had the grace to blush when Draco stepped outside.

'Hey,' Cormac gave him a forced smile, 'I wanted to get you before you miss dinner again.'

'I'm capable of taking care of myself,' Draco snapped at him and Cormac's smile faltered instantly.

'Draco,' Blaise began but Draco interrupted him before he could go further: 'You're a disgrace to Slytherin. Being a Slytherin is about being a true friend, not stabbing them in the back, but you Half-bloods are probably incapable of loyalty.'

'You want to lecture me on loyalty? It's you who lets himself be fucked by a Gryffindor-'

'Mr. McLaggen, Mr. Zabini, do I have to remind you that you're not allowed to be outside the school building at this time.' Interrupted Snape's cold voice their fight before t could go out of hand.

'Mr. Malfoy.' He made a barely discernable motion with his head, which meant Draco should follow him. He hadn't met Snape outside the lessons since the day in Dumbledore's office and wasn't looking forward to whatever conversation they were going to have but he also didn't want to stay with Cormac or Blaise.

Snape's office hadn't changed and Draco still found it disturbingly comforting and familiar.

'Sit down.' Great, Snape was annoyed because of something, and Draco hadn't even eaten dinner yet. He would never understand Snape's penchant for telling people bad news on an empty stomach. At least he didn't have any relatives that could die anymore, well, any relatives that he cared about to be precise. Although it would probably cheer him up if somebody would kill his aunt Bellatrix in a particularly gruesome fashion.

'I was told that you're planning on leaving the school after this year.'

'I was considering it.' There was no use denying it. Filch read all the letters and he was Snape's friend, a reliable source.

'I cannot allow you to do this.'

'Allow me?' Draco asked icily: 'I'm turning 17 in July. You have not the power to dictate my actions after this, hell you have no power over me now. First you're getting my parents killed so that you can rise in his esteem, and then you're too much of a coward to face the consequences. He wants me dead? Fine, I'm here.' Draco stood up and spread his arms wide from his body, daring Snape to attack him. He was his father's son, a Malfoy and a Black and belonged to some of the oldest wizard families in the world while Snape was just another unworthy half blood, trying to get into his family's good graces and betraying their loyalty. If the Dark Lord wanted Snape to kill him, too, he would probably not make it out alive, but he wouldn't go down without a fight.

'Your father was my friend,' Snape said with ice-cold rage in his voice. 'You have to stop acting like a child and honour the sacrifices your father, your mother and I have made to keep you alive.'

'Sacrifices? What sacrifices could you have made?' Draco sneered, 'You're still alive.'

Snape grabbed his arm.

'I swore an Unbreakable Oath to your mother that I would protect you. As soon as you set a foot outside of this school's protection, you will be dead. Don't lend yourself to illusions, Draco, there's nothing and no one out there that will protect you from a slow, torturous death at your aunt's hands.'

'There will be nothing and no one out there that will protect me next year, either,' Draco argued back. He hadn't been found worthy by his father to follow him as a Death Eater but he could still make his father proud, he hoped, by successfully continuing the company.

'It will be dealt with,' Snape replied with a weird certainty. 'One way or another.'

'That gives me great comfort,' Draco said ironically, 'but I could still die during the summer vacations and all your trouble will be for naught.'

'You will be placed in protective custody.'

'Why would the Ministry do all this? They can't even protect their own people, but they'd go out of their way for me? All I have to offer is money, and if I go back to school for the next year probably not even that when the company has gone down.'

'Professor Dumbledore believes the life of every student valuable,' Snape answered. 'And I don't disagree with him once you stop thinking that life is like a boarding school.'

'Potential for what?' Draco asked suspiciously.

Snape shrugged:

'Potential for whatever you want to become.' Snape emphasized the word 'you' fleetingly as if by coincidence but that was the crux of the matter. Draco had never considered a life outside the one he had been losing over the past year, consequently his career counselling had been exceptionally brief last year.

Draco brushed these thoughts aside, he could discuss them later, maybe with Pansy and Theo.

'I'll think about it,' he said calmly to Snape. Snape's face was indecipherable but he didn't stop Draco when he left.

Theo, Crabbe and Goyle weren't in the common room and luckily neither were Blaise who was probably still eating dinner, which Draco had decided to skip. Pansy sat in one of the alcoves of the far side, though and waved at him when she saw him coming in.

'Hi,' she said when he sat down, 'you look like you need a drink.' She put two glasses on the table and put the bottle of Firewhiskey they had opened on that Hogsmeade weekend on the table, and poured them both two full glasses.

'Thanks,' he said, and drained half of the glass.

'I want to die,' Draco exclaimed, staring into the clear liquid. Pansy began to laugh and he joined her.

'No, you don't,' She laughed.

'No, I don't,' He confirmed, 'it would be a ridiculous waste of beauty and brains.'

'Nice to see you're back to your old self.' Pansy rolled her eyes.

'What are you talking about? I was never gone.' Draco grinned, then changed the subject: 'Did you know that Blaise slept with Cormac?'

'Everyone knew that. Blaise didn't exactly make a secret out of it except for you. What are you going to do?'

'I don't know.' He took another drink: 'Break up with Cormac, throw Blaise off of the team...I'm drunk.'

'No, you aren't.'

'Officially I am, or this conversation has never happened.' He emptied his glass and poured another:

'Boys are complicated.'

'Girls are complicated, boys are...stupid.'

'Did you ever have a crush on me?' Because if she had, then there was a possibility that he and Blaise could learn to be friends again.

'On you?' She raised her eyebrows: 'No, not you. Blaise on the other hand, well who didn't have a crush on Blaise at one point?'

'Theo? He hates jerks.' It was hard to imagine that Theo had romantic feelings for anyone. He seemed to be too sophisticated for such mundane things.

'Theo doesn't hate you,' she pointed out.

'Geez, thanks Pansy. Your words are the balm on my battered soul,' Draco replied sarcastically.

'You know that it's true. That's why you like Blaise so much because he's the only one who would give you a run for the title of 'jerk of the year', not that some people don't deserve it.'

By the time they had finished to bottle he was drunk, drunk enough that it didn't hurt when Blaise touched him when Draco told him flat out that he was off of the Quidditch team. They were only playing against Hufflepuff, after all, and if he couldn't get Theo, then Urquhart would do as well.

The next morning, however, was another matter. Drinking on an empty stomach was always a bad idea, and Draco loudly cursed the fact that they had windows despite living in a cellar, and thus sunlight.

'Here. Drink this.' Someone pushed a mug in his hand and Draco drank blindly. It tasted like something had died in brackish water and left there to rot. So now besides having a headache from hell, his stomach felt like it would crawl out of his body at any moment.

'Didn't you have something faster to kill me with, Blaise?' Draco growled into his mattress where he hid from the annoying sunlight.

'You're going to feel better soon.'

'I'm not the mood for your attempts to make amendments for sleeping with my boyfriend, and I'm not letting you back on the team.'

'I didn't think you'd remember that.'

'I wasn't that drunk,' Draco pointed out, slowly feeling his headache clear.

'No, you weren't,' Blaise said quietly. Draco sat up.

'Seriously, did you poison me? You're suspiciously nice.'

'I'm not that much of an arse.'

'No, just mostly.'

'You knew that when we became friends.'

'Is that what we are? Friends?'

'Is that what you want us to be?'

'Yes.'

'McLaggen seems to think otherwise.'

'Yesterday morning I would have asked, since when do you listen to Cormac since you hate him, but apparently you don't.

'I didn't think it would hurt you that much.' But Blaise didn't look at him.

'What did you expect to happen once I knew that you slept with my boyfriend?' Draco snapped angrily. He felt disgustingly vulnerable in his pyjamas while Blaise was fully dressed: 'In case you didn't notice this between your weekly flings, Cormac was my first relationship and you ruined it just because you could. You want the title of the biggest arse in school? Congratulations, you have it, now get out of my face.'

'I want you, okay? I want you.'

'Too bad for you because you can't have me,' Draco seethed. He didn't want to hear this, not now, not after everything that had happened.

'I could have had you.' Blaise backed Draco against the nearest wall. 'Every day during Christmas, and you wouldn't have said no. You want to know why I didn't do it? I respected you as a friend, that's why. You're saying I can't have you? Can you also tell me that you didn't dream about this?'

'Being raped by you on a sunny day in April?' Draco bit out, 'No, can't say that I did.' He pushed Blaise away and walked away from the wall, careful not to turn his back to Blaise.

'I want us to be friends again, someday,' he said, 'nothing more.'

'What if I want more?'

'I don't think that would be healthy for either of us.'

'Love isn't healthy. It makes you weak and vulnerable. Would it be that bad for you to be with me?'

'I don't understand why you're bringing this up now. You used the whole year to play with me, paint me as a Gryffindor's whore.'

'Damn, Draco, I thought you would be leaving school. It was cheap entertainment for me to throw you into McLaggen's arms and rip you away again when I thought that you would be dead soon and I thought it would be easier for you and me if you hated me.'

'Love in the Zabini family, huh? I love you so I'll destroy everything you have left.'

'Something like that,' Blaise shrugged.

'You realize that what you said only makes everything worse?'

'I'm not asking for your forgiveness.'

'You're asking for something more.'

'Will you give it to me?' Blaise sounded almost hopeful.

'No.' He couldn't. He still had a Quidditch cup to win, a life to plan, and maybe to fight for soon. If this thing with Blaise went wrong, and Draco strongly suspected that it would sooner or later, it would hurt too much. He was a Slytherin, reckless decisions were best made by Gryffindors not by him.

'So, we'll be friends then.' Blaise said slowly.

'Friends,' Draco confirmed. For now at least, he thought. He knew better than to deal with absolute terms.

'I see you at breakfast then.'

Clap Clap Clap, came from the door nearly as soon as Blaise had left.

'You know I never thought that mixing Veritaserum and a mild love potion would have such an overwhelming effect.' Theo said conversationally as if he was talking about the weather.

'Blaise will hate you when he finds out.'

'Fuck Blaise, this needed to end before one of you killed the other.'

'I didn't know you cared.' Draco teased lightly.

'If the things I know and you don't were water drops, the lake would be twice its size,' Theo answered with a dry smile.

'You know that I need you on the team in two weeks against Hufflepuff?'

'You're obsessed with this sport.' Theo rolled his eyes but he didn't say no, yet. 'Ask Uruquart, I'm not interested.'

'Okay, fine.'

'What are you going to do?' Theo asked.

'Getting dressed, eat breakfast, win the Quidditch cup, hopefully humiliate Potter into leaving the school or the whole wizard community in disgrace. Afterwards? No idea.' He grinned.

The future was wide open with possibilities.

The End