For Johnswinona, simply for being a darling that I adore. *loves on* I hope she likes eet.

I hope you other guys like it too, actually.

Warnings: Yaoi, I don't own the characters, nor will I ever, sadly. Some coarse language, cause I 'curse like a sailor' (Thanks for that, HunterBelmont. hahaha) OOC a little bit, or maybe a lot. At least, in my opinion it is.

Dedicated to: Johnswinona

Prompt: The song "21 Guns" by Greenday. (Not my favorite band at all, but the song WAS fitting. Thanks Johnswinona x3)

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Chapter 1 of 2

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Leather boots offered little sound as I paced the village centre, thoughts spiraling through my mind in a myriad of conflicting patterns and decisions, each one more deceptive and unclear as the last; if not more so. Shinra had done this ultimately, as logic would remind me on a repeated loop. Still, thoughts were filled with a toxic uncertainty of who the real culprits were. Thoughts begged me to destroy all of them, everyone who inhabited the planet that Shinra controlled, and harbor the planet herself as my own personal slave to my will. Then, there were other thoughts fighting against the logic, and fighting against the darker invasions themselves, as I drew a hand up to run into my hair, calming myself as best as was possible with a small exhale of breath.

"You don't have to do any of this, you know. We can leave. We can all leave, and we won't have to worry about any of it any more. Everything we learnt, and everything we know about… well… everything… We can leave that all behind. We can… General…?"

How could such softly spoken words echo so loudly within my ears? How could such a naïve perspective make such a large magnitude of sense? Every time a question was raised, I failed to find the answer. This was when it started to dawn on me that perhaps all the control I had always sought and eventually possessed, was slowly slipping from my fingers with every shred of sanity stolen from me. The Jenova project, Hojo, SOLDIER… Nothing would ever be the same in my eyes, in my thoughts, in anything I could possibly fathom ever again.

For years, I'd worked in servitude for a company that had created… no, manufactured me… The idea of leaving seemed fruitless, yet the idea of staying only unfurled a lash of hatred within me that sent my blood burning with unbidden mako, and what I now knew to be JENOVA. Was there anything left within Shinra for me to fight for, or were there merely enemies to fight against? I felt a small smile creep along my lips of its own accord, as I honestly considered the thought.

"General Sephiroth Sir! Th-thank you for the opportunity to come along, Sir!"

I gave a small nod, stopping in my tracks, as my gaze drifted to the upstairs window of the town inn, where I knew he'd be sleeping.

"Truth be told, I've never seen you fight, Sir… But Lieutenant Fair told me that it's almost breathtaking."

When he'd said that, looking up at me with eager eyes as he stood by the training room door, my first thought had been whether or not he knew how easily breath was taken with a simple look at him. I'd said nothing however, gesturing him inside, where Zack was already waiting by the wall.

"Hey Spike-head, good to see ya," Zack had grinned charmingly, as I offered him a small smile of my own, his eyes meeting mine briefly before I stepped into the virtual arena.

"Kick some ass. Don't make me look like a liar, okay?" Zack had spoken over the intercom, and I'd given a simple nod, turning eyes to the window for a moment and being caught slightly off guard by the admiring sheen over the blonde's eyes as Zack shifted with dials and levers, before I lost sight of the cadet behind a virtual setting of Junon. I could have given it my all in that Training room. I could have easily had him awed, stunned, almost worshipping… But I didn't. I held back slightly, so that when I exited that room, he was impressed, but not speechless.

"That was… amazing," He'd muttered, a light blush rising along his cheeks as he said so, "I hope I can fight like you one day, Sir."

I nodded, offering a trace of a smile, which only furthered his blush.

"One day, I'm sure you will be able to," I reassured, setting his eyes wide with the compliment. Even Zachary seemed mildly startled as the blonde politely excused himself at the announcement for cadets to return to the training hall for a meeting. Zack had turned to me with a slight from then, and placed a firm hand on my shoulder.

"Try not to lead him on or anything, okay?" The Lieutenant frowned, and I'd responded with a questioning gaze.

"He may very well make it to SOLDIER. How am I leading him on?"

"That wasn't what I meant," Zack said lowly, giving my shoulder a firm squeeze, before he too took his leave.

Despite my desires for the blonde, I'd never allowed them to progress to something beyond professional. He'd become a friend of sorts, yes, otherwise he'd not have attended this mission by my side. After all, cadets weren't permitted to attend missions outside of the Eastern Continent without my expressed authorization. I knew he came from this town, and I'd wanted to offer him something that no one else could: A chance to visit his family and friends. At first, he'd seemed thrilled at the idea, but gradually, his excitement had faded.

"It'll be good to see your ma, hey?" Zack had grinned on the truck ride over here.

"Guess so…"

"You don't seem too happy. I'd be rapt if I got to see my ma and my childhood sweetheart," Zack winked, and I fought down the possessive envy that raced through my blood as the blonde blushed slightly.

"It's not as easy as that, you know," He'd murmured uncomfortably, his eyes flicking to me slightly, as he turned to face out the back of the truck, his features paling slightly.

"Are you alright?" I asked, and he offered a small nod, drawing his knees to his chin. Zack reassured me later that it was nothing more than motion sickness, but I'd seen that ache shadowing the blonde's eyes in that moment. It wasn't just motion sickness. It was almost as if he'd been scared of facing his past, something that I now knew all too well. We should never have come to Nibelheim. There was nothing but hurt to remember here. I unsheathed Masamune, caressing the hilt in my fingertips as I surveyed the town, its residents sleeping softly in the midst of the night. Would it be so hard to end it all? Every memory that festered in this tiny town… Could it all be simply washed away? Cleansed, perhaps? I gave a sweep of Masamune, allowing her to glide through the air in a practiced movement. Perhaps, he and I could both have happiness if everything disappeared; this town, the evidence of what I was, everything; Even me.

"General Sephiroth, sir," A soft voice broke the silence, and I seized slightly, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Cadet Strife," I replied just as quietly, lowering my blade so as not to harm him.

"I… don't really know what you found in that mansion, but," He paused, seemingly hesitant, "But none of that matters."

I opened my mouth, but said nothing, smirking slightly as I turned my gaze to the stoned surface below me.

"It does, actually," I murmured, "Some things were in there that you may not understand just yet, but it matters. They matter."

"You're not a monster," He said softly, "Zack said that you'd seen some things about Jenova, and about the other… things… back in the reactor…"

I heard him approaching, and flinched slightly in surprise, when I felt his fingers curl around my wrist.

"Sephiroth?" He queried, and I reluctantly turned my gaze to his, "You're not a monster. You're different, but you're not a monster."

My gaze held his and he shifted slightly, his hand never once leaving my wrist as he turned his gaze to his left, worrying his lower lip.

"I… I don't really know what to say. I've heard a lot of rumors from people in the science labs…" Cloud faltered slightly, finally letting go of my wrist to scratch at the back of his head.

"I was created. An experiment formed from alien cells, to create the so called perfect SOLDIER," I explained briefly, "I'm not human."

He let out a snort then, blushing as he did so, my brow rising slightly in confusion.

"Sorry, sir, but I think you're more human than most of the other SOLDIERs at Shinra," the blonde offered quietly, "I've seen you fight in real combat situations now and… Well, nobody else seems to show such remorse when taking the life of something. When we lost Michael when the bridge collapsed, you might have sounded cold, but I saw pain in your eyes. That's the kind of stuff you can't hide. It's exactly the kinds of things that make somebody human. Not a title, or an upbringing, or whatever else."

I turned from him slightly, my eyes sliding along the shadowed form of the Shinra mansion. Had I not felt pain within there? Had I not learnt, responded emotionally, and reacted as a result? Was it truly those things that made a monster… a human? I shook my head slightly, zoning out a little.

"I was created to have emotions," I mused, and he let out a frustrated sigh.

"With all due respect, sir, all humans are," He muttered, taking a few steps so that he stood beside me now.

"You know, I told you back in the mansion's basement that we didn't have to stay with Shinra," The blonde offered quietly, "We could figure all this stuff out together, you and me."

I turned my eyes to him then, and he blushed.

"Uh, and Zack, of course, sir," He nodded, and I shook my head.

"If you saw me as a human being, you'd use my name more often," I murmured, and he scratched the back of his head again.

"It's not about seeing you as a human being. It's about you being my superior," He shrugged slightly; "I've always thought you were above me, in a lot of ways. Sir just seems fitting. Besides, you asking me to say your name kind of makes me feel like…"

"Like what?" I asked, feeling my entire body gradually falling into a sense of calm, merely from his presence. How he did it, I'd never know, but he was almost a sedative of sorts. With my heightened sense of smell, I knew he was damn near always nervous in my presence, but this time, he seemed to be gathering his wits in speaking to me.

"It kind of makes me feel like you see me on an equal level," He replied bashfully, "I mean, it's nice and everything, but kind of awe-inspiring."

I offered a small smirk, before his gaze turned suddenly serious.

"You were going to do something to Nibelheim, weren't you?" he asked, and my breath caught slightly. He was far too observant at times, and it was likely to put me in uncomfortable situations such as these. That is, if I should choose to remain in his company.

Was I going to do something to Nibelheim, however?

"Yes," I replied simply, and he shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

"It's… Well, I can understand why you would want to, but there are a lot of good people here," he murmured, "I mean, my mum's just across the road. She's a good person. I think you'd like her, actually. Maybe I could, you know, introduce you to her… someday…"

I mused on the idea of meeting Cloud's mother, and turned to see a light blush along the blonde's cheeks, noticeable even in the dark.

"You wouldn't feel uncomfortable with that?" I asked, my curiosity apparent even to me, "It was my understanding that such situations didn't occur too often, unless the individual involved was the family member's date of some sort."

His cheeks positively flared, as he let out a nervous laugh.

"Well, I wasn't saying that really, but it wouldn't exactly be the first time I've brought a boy home for her to meet."

I couldn't hide my surprise as he met my gaze briefly, before shyly turning away.

"What about your childhood sweetheart?" I asked, as he shifted uncomfortably once again. Despite my own confusion about everything, the dark past I'd been abruptly exposed to, and my inner conflict over whom and what I truly was, my interest in the blonde was increasing with this newfound information. Was it really so impossible to have a future with such a being? Cloud himself was something seemingly un-natural in his beauty and persona. He was fragile but strong at the same time, and whilst he had a somewhat feminine physique and features, he was masculine in his combat skills. Put simply, he was almost breathtakingly beautiful.

"That's all it was. A childhood sweetheart," He murmured, "She didn't even know I existed. Never gave me the time of day…"

He paused then, before his eyes widened slightly.

"Sorry, Sir! I didn't realise I was speaking so freely," He offered apologetically, "It's not really something you'd probably be comfortable hearing."

"You're right," I nodded, "But probably not for the reasons you'd be expecting."

He offered me an inquisitive gaze, and a voice in my head begged me to ignore him.

…Turn your back. He's manipulating you to save his town. He's just like all the others. Destroy him…

I ignored it, disturbed by the thought of ever harming the blonde. At one time, perhaps I may have, when he'd been little more than a nameless cadet. Not now, however, as he stood before me; As Cloud.

"It makes me uncomfortable to think that someone would possibly choose to ignore you," I murmured, as he turned slightly, blush creeping along his cheeks.

"I'm nothing special," He shrugged dismissively, "Just a cadet."

"That's a lie."

There was a small silence then, before a low roll of thunder echoed around us. It wasn't long after that a flash of lightning followed, a soft sprinkling of rain began to fall, quickly intensifying into a torrential downpour. Cloud let out a small laugh beside me, holding his hands up to the sky.

"It hasn't rained here for months!" He explained his euphoria over the downpour, as he let the rain fall over him, running down his cheeks and forcing his uniform to cling to his lean frame. I watched him as it happened; his eyes alight with awed wonder, as he smiled softly, his eyes blinking back droplets of water. I turned my own eyes to the sky, relishing in the cold beads of rain striking my skin, allowing my eyes to close briefly, as the water ran along my lashes.

"If you hold up your arms while you stare up, it's almost like you're falling with the rain," He called out, and I offered a skeptical moment of thought, before allowing myself to surrender to spontaneity. I held my hands out to the sky, reaching for an answer I wasn't sure I'd ever find, allowing the water to slide along my gloved fingers and down the arms of my coat. A small smile fell unbidden from my lips, as I heard him laugh a little beside me.

"The first rains of the season," He grinned, as I turned my eyes to meet his. They were glowing slightly amidst the rain, as he offered a cautious smile, lowering his arms. I did the same, and stepped towards him, allowing my hand to wipe some of the pooling water gathering on his cheeks, once again acting on spontaneity.

"Sephiroth," he whispered, as I gave a small 'hmm?' captivated by the sight before me. Jenova, Hojo, Shinra, SOLDIER… All of that bullshit didn't seem to matter all that much anymore.

"What are you thinking?" He asked, and I trailed my hand to slide over slightly trembling lips, before resting once again against a heated cheek.

"That I wish you were mine," I replied flatly, and he let out a shaky breath.

"Oh," he replied simply, pursing his lips slightly, before I gave into carnal desires and stooped to press my mouth against his.

My blood flared slightly, as he let out a muffled gasp of surprise against my lips, before surprisingly eager hands gripped at the back of my head and crushed me against him, his lips pressing back with a burning intensity. A gently probing tongue found its way into my mouth then as he let out a soft moan against my own, which I echoed in appreciation. He pulled back with a startled laugh then, wide eyes full of undeniable lust as his fingers still clutched almost desperately at my hair.

"Did we just… Did you just kiss me, sir?" He asked breathlessly, and I smirked, fingers trailing along the blonde's sides.

"I may very well still be doing so, had you not pulled away."

"I… Are you sure I'm what you want?" He asked, and I allowed my lips to pillow against his forehead, pulling him closer to me as the rain continued to fall around us.

"Is it possible to love a monster?"

"Do you still think you're a monster?" He asked, and I nodded, my lips slipping slightly over his skin, as he raised his eyes.

"Then yes," He replied softly, "Even if I don't agree with that opinion, it is possible to love a monster…"

"Do you have feelings for me?" I asked bluntly, and his skin warmed against me.

"I think I always have."

Was it possible, for him to ever love someone like me? His anxiety in my presence was so often presented, that I often thought of myself as an object of fear to him, like I was for many others. He gave a soft sigh, and turned his head to rest against my chest, his hands now clinging to the front of my coat.

"Sephiroth, there are things we're never really going to understand about you. I think there's a lot of things most people won't get about themselves, but that shouldn't matter. Ever… Ever since I was a young boy, I've idolised you. I know I'm not the only one," He murmured, "And you should know that people respect you. As a human being. They come to care for you. Like Zack does. Like… Like I do."

I gave a small nod, my body unwillingly reacting to his close proximity, the smell of his hair as it brushed my chin and cheeks, and the warmth of his body as it sought shelter against the rain, pressing against mine. As if knowing of my thoughts, he raised his head once again and offered a soft smile. He held my gaze with his own, before he raised his lips to meet mine once again, this time a slow and lazy exchange, as my fingers clenched slightly against the back of his uniform. Any thoughts racing through my mind disappeared, other than how much I desired him, needed him, and had undoubtedly craved him for so long. Tentatively, I slid my fingers beneath his shirt, trailing along his skin as he let out a breathy moan against my mouth. Every place on him was seemingly erogenous, as I dipped my mouth to rest in the crook of his neck, lacing the skin with kisses, his fingers sliding once again into my hair, massaging my scalp as he arched his head back slightly and let out a small groan. My teeth had bitten down lightly, drawing such a reaction, and with every pulse I felt through him, through my own blood, I felt a little more human. I felt a little more desirable, a little more responsive, emotive, everything that a human being could be seen to be. And with each feeling, I felt a little less fractured. He leant forward slightly to whisper into my ear, his breath a calming contrast of warmth against the cold.

"If you don't believe me, then let me show you," He murmured shyly, "Just how human you can be?"

The rain continued to fall, slicking blonde hair against his forehead, as a tentative hand slipped around my wrist. Despite me holding a higher position above him, anything he asked of me, I would gladly comply with, as I allowed him to lead me from the rain.

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A/N: One more lemony chapter to come. Lemme know if you like it so far. *hugs and love*