Title: Coma

Warnings: Abuse; Real Life Issues; Justin/Other

Pairings: Justin/Brian

Characters: Justin Taylor, Brian Kinney, OMC

Hey you caught me in a coma. Oh, make me come back to this world again. Now I feel as if I'm floating away. I can't feel all the pressure and I like it this way. But my body's callin'. Won't ya come back to this world again? Suspended deep in a sea of black I've got the light at the end, I've got the bones on the mast. Slippin' farther and farther away. It's a miracle how long we can stay in a world our minds created. When you reach the point of breaking know it's gonna take some time to heal the broken memories...– Guns'n'Roses 'Coma'

When it started to happen more frequently, Justin found himself talking to the doctor of the ICU where all the comatose patients were lying. The doctor was always trying to get him to talk, but Justin never wanted to.

It all started one year earlier, when one night, Sean had found Justin drinking in a bar, with a purple bruise on his face and totally drunk. They wanted to fuck, but Justin had passed out before they were three miles away from the bar. The morning after, Sean insisted he have a look at his bruises and told Justin to go to the hospital that night because he would do something for him. After that first time, almost every week, Justin would end up at Sean's, covered in bruises and just trying to pretend that nothing was wrong.

The young doctor, tried to convince Justin to go talk with the police, but he refused every time, saying that he couldn't. However he managed to make Justin promise to always come to him, that he would take care of Justin and that he didn't have to worry about the insurance.

Justin kept going over to him, because on the floor of the ICU where Sean worked, was where they kept the comatose patients and therefore, it was always immerse in silence. The young boy could walk around at night without being caught and soon, that part of the hospital became Justin's safe heaven.

That night wasn't any different from the others. Justin had just been to Sean's to have his wounds checked and his arm casted, and was almost at the elevator when he stopped in front of one of the last rooms and looked inside.

Lying in the hospital bed was a man that looked amazingly beautiful to Justin. He looked like he was just sleeping. Without knowing why, he reached out to open the door when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Justin?"

He turned around finding himself looking into Sean's worried gray eyes. "It's late you should go home."

And Justin wanted to laugh at his choice of words, because he couldn't remember anymore the last time he had felt at home somewhere.

Instead, he nodded and tried his best to smile up at Sean. "I'll see you soon."

Sean sighed. "I wish it would be a while before seeing you again."

"Already tired of me?" Justin asked jokingly.

"You know what I mean. I don't even remember the last time I saw you without a bruise on you."

"That's because you never saw me without a bruise."

A look of pure sadness, flashed on the doctor's face and Justin tried his best to hug him even with the cast on his left arm. "Have I told you recently how much I appreciate what you've been doing for me? You're the only person that cares about me. Thanks."

"Don't need to thank me" Sean whispered before lightly kissing Justin's forehead. "Wanna come over to sleep?"

Justin wanted to refuse, to come up with an excuse and just walk away, but he was tired and the last thing he wanted right then was to go back 'home'; so he nodded. "I'd love to" he said sincerely and Sean smiled at him.

"Great. Use your key. I don't know when I'll be back" and with that said, he turned his back to Justin and walked away.

The young boy looked once again inside room 1729 and at the sleeping man and sighed, before turning his back to the closed door and getting in the elevator.

***********************
When at the end of the following week Justin had to go to Sean's office to have the cast checked, he decided that he wanted to go see the patient in room 1729.

So, when Sean said that he was sure that it was going to heal just fine, Justin said 'thank you' and left. But this time, when he found himself in front of the closed door, he quietly opened it and walked inside.

The first thing he did was going to the foot of the bed and look at the chart. It said that the man's name was Brian A. Kinney and that he had been in a come since July 2005. It was a little over five years. Justin read the chart to see if there was something written about what caused the trauma, but other than "head trauma", there wasn't anything else.

In different types of calligraphy, there were the vitals of the patient and even without being a doctor; Justin could see that in the last five years, there hadn't been a lot of changes. On a page dated 10-31-2007, there was written "probably irreversible coma" and Justin sighed reading that. He thought that the person, who had written that, was probably a pessimist because when he had been 6 and ended up in a coma for five months, all the doctors thought that he was gone for good. Fortunately, his mother and his father didn't believe that. The boy wondered who wasn't thinking the same for Brian.

He put down the chart and looked towards the shelves where there were different framed pictures. Justin walked over to them and a photo where Brian was holding a little boy about two years old caught his attention. 'So maybe he's straight', thought Justin.

On both sides of this one, that looked like it had been put right in the middle of all the others, there were other photos where Brian was with different men and with a couple of women who to Justin looked like lesbians and when he saw a tall man dressed in pink and orange, he thought that maybe Brian at least liked gay people.

There were dust on the pictures and Justin frowned thinking that maybe these people weren't coming anymore. And when he looked towards the nightstand and he saw the same flowers that were in the nurses' station, he thought that he was probably right.

The young man thought that Brian was perfect for what he needed so he went on the other side of the bed and sat down on the chair and looked briefly at the sleeping man before glancing towards the door to see if a nurse was coming inside. Then he relaxed back into the plastic chair.

"Hey Brian... I... this is something totally crazy I think, but I really need someone to talk to and your chart says that you've been in a coma for five years. So I'm not even sure if you are able to hear me, but I think that it's better this way because you're just going to lay there and listen and that's all I need because except for Sean, I don't really have anyone that wants to listen..." Justin paused and looked down at his hands resting in his lap. "I'm not even sure that if you were awake, you would like to listen, but it doesn't really matter." The boy stopped himself once again and took a deep breath. "It's pathetic that I'm going to talk to you like you were my best friend, don't you think?" he gave a small laugh and then became serious again.

Justin closed his eyes and started to speak. "So, where should I start? I'm Justin and I'm seventeen but in four months I'll turn eighteen. I've live in a foster house since I was thirteen." He stopped and looked at Brian as if waiting for an answer. "I know that you're 29. Twelve years is a pretty big gap don't you think? But don't worry, I'm way more mature than a lot of other seventeen year olds and probably more than other people you know." Justin closed his eyes again and sighed. "Well, I guess we could talk about the night that changed my life forever. When I was twelve, I went with my Mom and Dad to see a play in a small theater. It was Peter Pan and I had bugged my parents for months to take me so they finally did on my birthday..." he stopped again and gathered his thoughts unsure on how to continue.

"I never told anyone about this... no one ever asked why we were there..." Justin opened his eyes and looked at Brian's sleeping face for a couple of seconds. "Anyway... when the played ended, we stopped inside to talk to a friend of my dad's and when we left the theater, my mother suggested a walk so I could have had an ice-cream... we were walking by an alley when a man grabbed my mother pulling her into the alley and my father followed them to protect her. I stayed a couple of steps back because I was scared shitless. The man tried to take my mother's jewelry and my father tried to stop him... the man was holding a gun and accidentally shot him. My mother screamed and the mugger shot her out of fear of being caught... I... I wasn't shot. He pointed the gun towards me too, but he looked me in the eyes and then just ran away... they never caught him..."

Justin felt like if he was standing in that dark alley once again. Every detail of his parent's last minutes on earth, engraved in his memory. It had been a long time since he had last thought about it, but now that he did, he felt an overwhelming sadness overtaking him.

"After that, the Social Workers wanted to hand me over to my aunt but she refused because she already had children so I ended up in an orphanage and when I was thirteen, I was adopted by the Lawrens. I'm still with them..." Justin looked down at his cast and sighed. "Unfortunately, I'm still with them" he repeated. "They didn't want kids but thought about adopting one and use it to take care of their financial problems... it's something that you like to think only happens in the movies. They took me in and my life turned into a complete hell. Mrs. Lawren is a drunken frigid bitch" Justin actually laughed this time. "Fuck! It's good to say it out loud to someone else!"

The young man shook his head and relaxed again in the chair. He kicked off his sneakers and put his feet on the edge of Brian's bed before closing his eyes again and kept telling his story to the sleeping man.

"And Mr. Lawren is an abusive asshole. He beats me all the time... this" he said waving his casted arm in front of Brian's closed eyes, "it's a little gift from him. Wanna know what I did to have my arm broken? I stayed too late at school. I'm taking some art classes without them knowing... they say that I don't need school because I'm not going to be anything in my life, but they have to send me or the social workers will take me away and I make them a lot of money. So, last week I stayed at my class a couple of hours longer, I didn't notice that it was so late and when I did, I ran home. Mr. Lawren told me that the best customers would have been taken by the time I reached Liberty, and I told him that I didn't care so he showed me against the wall and then twisted my arm until it broke and let me tell you, it hurt like a mother fucker... Did your father ever beat the shit out of you? Broken one of your bones?" Justin asked Brian and then laughed at himself. "Like you could answer me. I'm stupid" he said before sighing. "Before I forget, I'm gay. I thought that I should tell you... I don't know if you're gay but if you are, I would do you... for free."

Justin put his feet on the floor and stood up towering over Brian's still body. He let his fingers run over Brian's cheek bones and lips before descending towards his arm and hand. He caressed the knuckles and felt the hand twitch under his touch and frowned, looking between the hand and Brian's face.

Before he could say anything, he heard footsteps in the alley outside the room and quickly picked up his sneakers. "I'll be in the bathroom while the nurse checks on you" he whispered before disappearing.

He stayed hidden in the bathroom until he heard the nurse say "Good-night Mr. Kinney" and the door to the room being closed. Then stepped out and went back to sit on the plastic chair by the bed.

"I was looking around your room the other day and I noticed that there's no one coming to visit you... it's why I chose you. I don't really know why you... I was outside your room last week, after Sean had put the cast on, and I felt like I had to come inside... pretty stupid huh? Anyway, I decided to see who you were and when I came the other night because I had a couple of bruises that I wanted Sean to check, I stopped here and took a look at your chart. It says that you've been in a coma for the last five years. It's a very long time... I've been in a coma too... when I was six but I'll save that story for when I'll come back." Justin looked around the room and sighed. "If I had known you before your accident, I wouldn't have forgotten about you. There is dust on the pictures and the flowers are from the nurses. I wonder what happened to your family. There is a photo that I really like. It's you with a kid, he's cute and he reminds me of you. I guess he's your son."

Justin looked at the clock on the wall and stood up putting his sneakers on. "Well, it's been great but now I have to go back to work. Another hour and then I'll go to the Lawren's but I'll be back. It's not like I have other friends besides you and Sean and you're both here," he said quietly before bending down placing a kiss on Brian's cheek. "Later" he whispered before leaving the room.

Justin closed his jacket tightly around himself trying to get warm. He looked at a car that was slowly approaching him and sighed. 'Another one' he told himself before leaning into the now open window with a fake smile on his face. "Hey, how's it going?"

"How much?"

"200$ per fuck."

"How much without a condom?" the man asked and Justin took a deep breath.

"Sorry, I don't do it without a condom and I won't suck you either if you're not wearing one" he knew that every time he said it, he had 50% chances that he'd lose the client, but he wasn't going to put himself at a major risk.

The man seemed to think about it but he finally nodded and told Justin to get in. As soon as he was seated, the man grabbed his crouch and gave it a squeeze. "I want you to fuck me" he then said and Justin nodded being secretly relieved just like every other time he heard that sentence coming from one of his customers.

When they arrived at the man's house, Justin automatically started to strip and saw the hungry gaze of the man standing before him, following his every move. That night, when Justin pushed inside the older man, he closed his eyes and let his mind travel to the man sleeping in a hospital bed on the other side of the city.

**************************************

"You fucking worthless whore" John Lawren yelled when he pushed Justin's face into the wall of the boy's bedroom. "I've told you a million times that I don't care if you get something, but if a customer asks you to fuck bareback, you're gonna do it, boy!"

Justin closed his eyes tightly trying to hold back the tears. He wasn't going to cry, not again.

He arched his back and pushed the man off of him. "You sick son of a bitch" he yelled turning around to hit his adoptive father, but the man was faster and his fist connected with Justin's eye.

The boy stumbled back and covered his eye with a hand. "Fuck" he shouted at the pain that shot through his face.

He looked at John and the man glared at him before turning his back on him and stepping out of the small room.

Justin felt something hot and wet running over his eye and down his cheek, he pulled his hand away finding it covered in blood. "Fuck" he murmured and went into the bathroom to check his wound.

He looked at his reflection and flinched. He wasn't sure if the open wound on his left eyebrow was from the fist or from when the man had showed him in the wall, but it looked like he would need stitches. "I guess I'll be seeing Sean tonight" he said quietly before taking a towel and pressing it on his eyebrow trying to stop the bleeding. He wondered how in the hell he was going to pass security in that state.

Justin sighed and went back in his room before opening the window and climbing out onto the tree that was just outside his bedroom window.

When he was far away from the house, he looked for a telephone and called Sean. The man picked up after the third ringer.

"Justin?" he asked.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Unknown number at 2 in the morning?" he asked sarcastically and then sighed. "What did he do this time?"

"I think I need stitches. You're at the hospital?"

"Like every other night" he said. "Come over no one will see you."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, come on" he said and then hung up.

Sean looked around his office and sighed. In the last year, he had spent at least one night a week, treating wounds on Justin's body. He hated that such a young man was living that way but he didn't know what to do.

Once he had tried to contact the Social Workers, they went to Justin's house while the boy wasn't home and his adoptive parents, told them that everything was okay, when Justin came back home that afternoon, he was beaten up and grounded in his room.

Sean had seen him two weeks later and Justin said that he wasn't going to come anymore, Sean was so worried for the boy, that he swore to never try something like that again. He tried to convince the boy to go to the police, but Justin was afraid that he would end up in a worst family to which Sean asked if that was even possible but never said anything else.

He asked Justin what his teachers thought, and the boy said "I'm queer, I'm out at school. If it's not John then it's some fucking jock. They just assume that I'm beaten up at school because I'm gay" and that was the last time he tried to make Justin see reason. And every time he tried to say something, the boy just said "It's just a matter of time. Soon I'll be eighteen and I'll be out of that hell hole." And Sean was hoping with all his might that Justin would survive long enough to turn eighteen.

Justin winced as the antibacterial made his skin burn.

"C'mon, we've been thought this before you big baby" Sean tried to joke and Justin almost smiled. "So, what was it this time?" he asked while he started to stitch the boy's eyebrow.

Justin shrugged and Sean sighed.

"Justin?"

"I didn't want to fuck bareback" he simply stated and the doctor looked horrified.

"You have never..."

"Fuck no! Why do you think I'm beaten up so much? Last Saturday, a man asked how much I wanted to fuck bareback and I told him that I didn't do it that way and it was okay. He took me home and I fucked him. Then today two men asked the same and I gave them the same answer but they walked away and John found out because he asked why I was taking home so little and I told him and he went ballistic."

"That fucking son of a bitch" Sean said. "I wish you'd let me help."

"Because last time it went so fucking well."

"Justin, you're four months from being eighteen. No one will adopt you. Let me call the Social Workers, please..."

"No."

"Jus..."

"Please, drop it."

Sean sighed once again and resumed his work on Justin's eyebrow. "It's going to leave a scar" he quietly said and the boy shrugged.

"Just one more" he said sarcastically. "Who's gonna notice?" Justin closed his eyes and thought at the man just down the alley. "Sean?" he said quietly.

"Hu-huuh?"

"How come you only take care of comatose patients?"

The doctor shrugged and pulled away when he had put the last stitch. "No big story. I just wanted to do it. When I was specializing, I ended up in this unit and nobody seems to take care of them so I decided that I was going to do it if no one else wanted to."

Justin smiled. "Like you do with me."

"Yeah like I do with you" he said with a small smile.

Sean took away his latex gloves and stood up. "Why the question?"

"Just curious. And how come you're always working the nights?"

"I..."

"It's not because of me, is it?"

"Justin..."

"Fuck! You can't do that."

"I've been doing it for the last year. I can manage."

"No wonder you never get laid."

"Hey, watch it kid!" he said laughing and Justin did the same.

"I'm glad you want to take care of me but..."

"It's the only thing that you let me do for you."

"Because it doesn't get me into troubles but it could get you..."

"We've discussed this before" Sean cut him off. "And I don't want to hear it again! Now, go see Brian" he said and Justin looked at him stunned.

"How..."

"I saw you... it's nice that he finally has someone with him." Sean sighed.

"How come no one ever goes to visit him?"

"They used to. The people you see in the pictures, they were here twice a week but then I guess life carried them away."

"It's unfair."

"I know."

Justin stayed silent a minute and then asked another question. "What... what happened to him?"

"Car accident. A drunk man ran him over."

The boy nodded and then stood up. "I'm gonna go now."

"Talk to him, it's useful."

"So he can hear?"

Sean shrugged.

"Doctors seem to think that comatose patients can."

"Ok. Do... do you think he'll ever wake up?"

"After five years, I doubt it, but there have been cases where people that had been in a coma for longer woke up. You never know" Sean said shrugging and Justin nodded once again.

"Thanks. I'll see you soon."

"Yeah."

"Thanks, Sean."

"I'd love to know that one day you'll have nothing to thank me for."

"Yeah me too" he said before stepping out of his friend's office heading towards room 1729.

**********************************

"You know, I was thinking about you the other night. I was fucking a man that was about 45... Not that I mean that you look old, in fact, at 29, you look extremely young and hot. I've read on the Internet that since you don't worry and don't use your facial muscles, you won't get wrinkles as fast as you should. I guess it's a great thing especially if you're gay. I forgot to ask Sean if he knows, but I don't really think he does."

Like he had done the previous week, Justin kicked his sneakers off and put his feet on the edge of the bed before lying back in the chair and closing his eyes.

"Sean told me that the people in your pictures used to come often... I wonder if you felt when it changed" Justin stopped talking and opened his eyes looking out of the window lost in thoughts and after several minutes, he shook his head to clear his mind and sighed. "So, where was I last time?" he stopped as if he wanted to give Brian time to answer. "You don't remember, Brian? That's ok; I'll start with the tale of when I met Sean."

He crossed his arms under his head and closed his eyes again. "You see, I've been hustling since I was thirteen and last year I had just turned sixteen when I met Sean. He wanted to fuck me but then took pity on me and we became friends. I just discovered that he's always working nights because he wants to be sure to be here in case I come with a broken something..." Justin sighed and then looked at Brian. "I meant what I was saying earlier... I've been thinking about you. You're hot, you know that? When I fuck someone for money, I kind of pull myself out of my body; it hurts less that way. I'm not really sure how to say it... but anyway... I started to fantasize about me and you..." the boy laughed and blushed. "God am I pathetic or what?" he shook his head and smiled down at Brian. "When you wake up, if it's like in the movies and you actually remember what I'm telling you and you're gay, you have to fuck me. It would be cool to have at least one dream come true..."

Justin spent the next hour telling Brian everything that would come up in his mind. He only stopped when the nurse came in and then resumed his place at the side of the sleeping man's bed and kept talking. When he finally left, he was tired and he was about to fall asleep in the chair. Before walking out of the room, he told Brian that he would be back. He gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him "later" and when he was finally leaving, he told himself that it hadn't been a mistake when he said "when you wake up" because somehow, he was sure that one day, Brian would wake up.

*****************************************

Justin tossed away the condom and lay down on the bed looking up at the ceiling. "So, what's going on in your mind?" He turned his head towards Matthew and shook his head.

"I'm not sure."

Matt turned on his side leaning his chin on his palm and studied Justin intently. "How long have we known each other?" Justin laughed and reached out for a cigarette.

"Let me think, about three weeks?" he says flipping back down on the bed. "What's your point?"

"That we're friends."

"No we're not. You don't know anything about me and I don't know anything about you. We fuck and that's all."

"C'mon Jus..."

"I told you I hate that nickname" he got out of the bed walking over to the window still naked.

"Anyway, you seem troubled lately..."

Justin gave a bitter laugh. "That's a euphemism."

Matt gently touched Justin's shoulder and the blond winced. "Sorry. Wanna talk about it?"

The blond man just shook his head thinking about Brian. "I already have someone to talk to" turning around, he grabbed Matthew by the back of his neck and pulled him gently to him. "But thanks." He closed the gap between them and slowly walked them back towards the older man's bed.

Justin had met Matthew three weeks ago. He was just coming out of the hospital and found Matt smoking against a tree in the parking lot. He had just lost his best friend in a car accident and Justin asked him if he wanted to go drink something. Before they knew it, they were fucking. Matt didn't know that Justin was a hustler and Justin, since he wasn't charging him anything and was using him to fuck with someone that didn't make him feel worthless, never told him. It worked that way, but Matt was starting to ask more questions each time, and the younger man was starting to think that maybe, it was time to go away.

*******************************

Two weeks later, Justin found himself once again sitting next to Brian's bed. "I've been busy lately, so I didn't come visit a lot. Sorry." He looked around the quiet room and put his feet on the bed. "I asked Sean about what happened to you and he told me that you were run over by a drunk driver. That's bad luck man." He sighed and closed his eyes. "I've been seeing someone, well, as much as you can see someone when you hustle seven days a week all night. We see each other sometime after school. He's a bit older, around twenty-four I think. I met him here five weeks ago after I'd come visiting you. It's nice to have someone that at least pretends to care, because if you don't count Sean who kind of pities me, I don't have anyone else and it's not like you can do anything about it."

Justin stood up and quietly padded towards the window. "You know, I've dreamed that you woke up and came looking for me. It would be great don't you think? In my head, you wake up and see me standing here and fall hopelessly in love with me."

He shook his head and looked at Brian from over his shoulder and for a moment, he almost expected to see him wake up. He sighed and walked over to his chair and picked up his jacket. "I'm going to tell Matt that we can't see each other anymore. In two months it will be my birthday and I can't wait. Well, now I have to go back to work. I'll see you."

He stood by the bed's edge and looked down at Brian brushing away the locks from his forehead before leaving a small kiss on his cheek as he always did. "Later, Brian."

*********************************

This time the fist hurt him more than any time before when it collided with his ribs. He could have sworn that he heard the bones breaking. "I told you that you had to quite the fucking art classes and what's in the mail today?" John waved the school letter in the air while Justin was desperately trying to breath. "We've pleased to inform you that your son Justin Lawren has been selected for an art seminary in New York. What the hell are you thinking wasting your time like this?"

Justin clenched his teeth repeating to himself "just two months and you'll be free. Just two months and you'll be Justin Taylor again." This time when John tried to kick him in the stomach, he sneaked away and ran towards the bedroom door but before he could reach it, he felt himself being dragged by his calf and one second later, he was being showed into the wall. He felt the back of his head hit the wall just like every other time and cursed for the millionth time the day his parents had died leaving him alone.

*********************************

"Why didn't you come earlier?" Sean was sitting on his stool testing the ribs to see if any were broken. "You have three broken ribs. This time, you'll have to come in the morning to be checked."

Justin shook his head. "You know I can't do that."

"I wonder what the hell your teachers are waiting for."

"They just don't care." He hissed when Sean pushed a finger over his broken ribs. "Hey, easy!"

"Shut up! You're... you're..."

"What? What am I?" he jumped down from the stool.

"You're reckless."

"Oh am I?"

"You know that you have to come back. It's not just a fucking broken arm. What happens if they don't heal right and you have breathing problems for the rest of your life? You're seventeen for fuck's sake!"

"I know how damn old I am!" he picked up his jacket and left the office. He walked straight into Brian's room and sat down on the chair. "Did I ever tell you that I hate my life?" and he felt tears building up in his eyes and quickly swept them away. "I'm an asshole. I could have just run away and I would have probably ended up dead in a dumpster and I'd be fucking fine now!" he put his head on the edge of the bed and took Brian's hand in his.

*********************************

Brian opened his eyes. The room was dark and he felt like he wouldn't have been able to lift a hand if his life depended on it. However, when he felt something leaning against his side, he made himself look down and he saw a blond head resting on the edge of the bed turned so it was facing him. The blond hair of the boy who looked about seventeen, were shining under the moonlight and the left hand of the boy was stretched towards Brian's body. He wondered who the boy was but before he could try to wake him up, he was already asleep again.

*********************************

In the two months that passed, Justin found himself going over at Brian's almost every night and he started seeing changes in him. Sometimes he would be asleep with his head leaned on the edge of the bed and he would feel Brian's hand moving against his hair or he would lean down to kiss him good night and he would see his eyes moving under his eyelids. He had talked with Sean about those things and always had the same answer. That it was just the nervous system and that it was highly probable that he won't ever wake up.

Justin looked at Brian's face and sighed. Just like every other day, he started talking about the first thing that came into his mind. "You know I forgot to tell you something. A couple of weeks ago, the government finally made it legal for gays to get married. I don't even know if you're gay, but anyway..." A small smile grew on the young man's face and he leaned back into the plastic chair and closed his eyes.

"There is like a wedding a day. Everyone's gone crazy. Ever since I heard the news on the TV, I started thinking about it. I don't know if I believe in love or if I really want a marriage, but it'd be nice to have someone with you all your life, or at least, I think that once you start something, you have to stick by it until it's the end... so if I'd ever get married, it would be forever..."

Justin heard a noise coming from the hallway and stopped talking to see if someone was coming into the room. When five minutes had passed by, he resumed his quite conversation.

"Maybe if you were gay and we met under different circumstances... like if I'd been standing under a lamppost on Liberty Avenue when you were coming out of a club and you looked up and saw me, maybe you could have been the one marrying me but..." Justin trailed off and took a deep breath thinking briefly about his last five years. "But who would want to marry a whore."

The blond stood up, looked down at Brian and walked over to the door. "I'll be coming less frequently or at least, I hope so... today is my birthday... 18 years! I'm officially free... well, I'll need another couple of weeks to have all the money that I'll need but then I'm off! I'll leave that asshole of an adoptive father and I'll never see him again... so maybe, it's going to be a little bit better for me and I won't need to come here all the time, but I'll pass by sometime to see how you're doing. I won't forget you."

He looked around the room, to all the pictures set up on the shelves, at the windows from which you could see all of Pittsburgh and sighed. He leaned down and just this time, he kissed the older man on the lips lingering briefly over the soft lips. The soft touch made him feel more alive than ever. "Later, Brian" he whispered before stepping out of the room.

*********************************

The last two weeks that Justin spent in his "home", were awful. He went out every night around nine and never came back home before sunrise. He was determinate to leave that place forever and he didn't care if in doing so, he had to lose what was left of him faster than he had thought.

He stopped going to see Brian in those two weeks because it was simply too painful for him, to sit there, talk about his life and pretend that for those two hours, everything was going the right way for once.

Justin carefully chose his last client. It was a man in his late 50's, but good looking. It was the first time he was using a hustler and Justin had told him smiling 'This is the last time I'm being used' and then they had left.

The man lived in a big manor somewhere outside Pittsburgh. For a moment, he thought that maybe he was going to be murdered, until they stepped over the threshold. The man looked nervously at Justin. Told him that he was stunningly beautiful and that his partner of 36 years had died almost a year before and that he wanted to feel something again. Even if it was just for a night. Justin asked him why he had picked him up and smiling, the old man told him 'Because you remind me of him. On the verge of starting a new life. Ready to take the risk.' And Justin hadn't asked anything else. He even let the man kiss him and when they got to the master bedroom. Justin had tried his best to make love to that man. He closed his eyes and thought about Brian.

About a late night of September. Them meeting outside Babylon after Brian had received a shitty blow-job. They had looked at each other and they had known in that instant that it was never going to be the same. Ever again.

Justin kept his eyes closed shut and when he kissed the older man beneath him and quietly whispered 'I love you', his mind was full of Brian.

When he woke up in the morning, Justin was slightly confused. He looked around wondering where he was until he remembered the previous night. He looked to the other side of the bed, but it was empty. The sheets were cold and he couldn't hear a sound in the whole house.

He quickly got dressed and descended the staircase, walked quietly on the wooden floor and made his way towards the entrance. He looked outside and saw the car still parked in the driveway.

"Hey!"

Justin turned around startled at the voice coming from behind him and smiled when he saw the man. "Hey. I was looking for you."

The man nodded and extended his hand to Justin. "Probably it's not common in this line of work, and maybe I should have done it yesterday, but I'd like to introduce myself to you. I'm Peter Hoffer."

Justin took the extended hand and shook it. "I'm Justin Taylor."

A surprised look overtook Peter's face and Justin looked at him confused as to why the man was reacting this way. "I must be mistaken..."

"What?"

"Are you... are you by any chances related to Craig and Jennifer Taylor?" As soon as the words had left his mouth, Peter could see the younger man suddenly turning sheet-white and reached out a hand, putting it on Justin's shoulder to steady him. "Are you ok, Son?"

"I... they were... they were my parents."

Peter was saddened by that news. "They were really good friends of mine. When they died, Gilbert and I thought that you were going to stay with your Aunt in California."

Justin shook his head. "No she already had children and Mom didn't have siblings. I ended up in a foster home."

The old man nodded and took a gently hold of Justin's arm, leading him towards the kitchen. "I knew your father since College. After I moved out here and he and Jennifer got married, we saw each other from time to time. Last time I saw you, you were eight."

Justin threw himself down in one of the wooden chair of the kitchen and sighed. He could feel tears in his eyes. "I'm... I'm sorry..."

Peter looked at him confused. "What for, Son?"

"You knew my family and now... I'm sorry that I'm what I am. It wasn't my choice... the family I was adopted by..." he trailed off when he felt the lump in his throat grow bigger and closed his eyes tightly to prevent the tears from falling on his cheeks.

"Justin, if I had only known" Peter shook his head and sat down on the chair across from Justin's. "When they died Gill and I wanted to take you in. The social workers told us about your aunt and we thought that being with a relative, would be the best. But we would have..." He trailed off and shook his head once again. "I can't believe it. What did they do to you? The family you are staying with?"

Justin looked up, locking his gaze with Peter's concerned one and felt ashamed of himself.

"Look at me, Son. I don't blame you for what happened. I can't believe that I had to find you after six years to know that you've been hustling. And I wish we could have seen each other under better circumstances, but I'm glad that I found you again. I often wondered if you were ok."

"If Mom and Dad knew..."

"They wouldn't judge you. And I won't either. Now, tell me the truth while I place a phone call."

Suddenly sobered, Justin looked at Peter frightened. "What... who are you calling?"

"My lawyer."

"What?"

"Let's forget about last night. I'm going to call my lawyer and we're going to make those bastards pay for what they made you do."

Justin jumped up alarmed. "No. It's ok. I'm out of there anyway. You were the last client that I was going to have. I've saved up money and I've just turned eighteen. I'm going to be just fine."

"You're really going to let them get away with that?"

The young man lowered his gaze and shook his head. "I just... I don't want to think about it ever again."

Peter nodded. "I can understand that but think about the next boy or girl that will go under their care."

Sighing, Justin looked back up in the older man's eyes. "It was horrible. What... what I had to go though and..."

"There are a lot of children going though that and if I, if we can save at least one from that future, we have to do it."

"I can't afford a lawyer."

"I know," Peter gently said. "I'd like to believe that our encounter was wanted by destiny. That I was your last client for a reason. I want to help you Justin. Help like I would have done six years ago if I had known the truth."

For a few minutes, Justin thought back at his life since his parents had died... at Sean helping him out almost every night for a year... he thought about how the Doc wanted to help him but it wasn't the right time and soon, he found himself nodding at Peter. He looked straight into the older man's eyes. Suddenly, he could have what he thought was out of reach for him. More than revenge, justice. "I want them to pay."

*********************************

Justin was sitting in the chair by Brian's bed for the first time in a month. Peter had done everything he could to help him out and now he was living with him.

"He told me to save up money for college." A small smile crept on the young man's face. "I haven't told you yet. Last week I received my letter from PIFA. I've got in thanks to a teacher. Her name is Lindsay Peterson. I still have to meet her and I'm nervous as hell." Sighing, Justin took his sketchpad from his bag and flipped through the pages until he found a clean one. He picked up the pencil and started drawing. "I want to leave a gift. I'm not sure when you are going to be able to see it, and I'm not sure when I will be back, but this is going to be with you all the time."

The pencil flew rapidly on the page and soon, two bodies were taking form. "It's me and you" he whispered quietly. "I won't make it so that you can actually see our faces. It will be something that just you and I can get, ok?"

Justin was so engrossed in his work, that he didn't hear the door being opened behind him and jumped startled, when Sean's voice echoed in the silent room. "Visiting him again?"

"Yeah. You scared me."

"Sorry." Sean walked inside the room and took the second chair placing it next to Justin's. "You know, he's definitely something else."

Justin looked away from Brian's face and towards Sean. "What you mean?"

"A couple of years ago, when Brian had been in a coma for three years, his best friend who had the POA, came here saying that they couldn't stand it anymore. The thought of him wasting away in a bed, was unbearable for them. And they pulled the trigger," the young doctor shook his head and looked for a long time at Brian. "The doctors took away the ventilator but Brian kept on breathing. He's truly just sleeping. I mean, he has normal brain activity, normal breathing, a heart in perfect shape... he just... won't wake up."

"I think that he's going to do it. One day, when he's ready."

Sean looked at Justin and smiled. "I think so too." His eyes stayed fixed upon the younger man for a long time. "I'm glad that I haven't seen you in the last month."

The blond smiled at him. "I didn't tell you. My last client was a friend of my father's. He just lost his partner and was looking for company. The morning after he introduced himself and when I told him my name, he recognized me. Peter told me that he and his partner wanted to adopt me back when mom and dad died. He even offered to take me in and I accepted..." At the look of pure horror on his friend face, Justin laughed. "It's not like that. We're not fucking!"

Sean seemed to considerate that for a long time. Not sure if he wanted to believe Justin or not. "So what? He just let you live there?"

"Yeah, apparently, he was a big friend of Dad's."

"And you actually believe him?"

Justin gave his friend a small smile before nodding. "I still like to believe that the world is a nice place. That there are nice people. That there are people that only do good things because they want to and not because they expect something in return. Even if it may be a naive way of thinking, I don't care. I prefer to be called a naive twink rather than conform to the pessimistic status quo."

Sean smiled at Justin and reached out, placing his hand over Justin.

"Considering what you've been through, I'm amazed at the way you're still able to be. I'm happy and honored to be considered a friend by you."

Laughing, the blond playfully shoved the doctor away. "C'mon! Don't get all sentimental on me."

The older man laughed too, then stood up and kissed Justin on his forehead. "Just, promise me not to change."

"I won't."

He nodded and walked over to the door. "I'm sure that if Brian knew you, he would be honored too."

"Maybe... or maybe he would be disgusted."

"No, I'm sure he wouldn't." Sean quietly closed the door behind him and walked back to his office. He wondered if maybe, Brian had been waiting for Justin... or the other way around.

*********************************

It was dark in the small hospital room and the only sound that could be heard was the scratching of the pencil on the rough paper as Justin quickly drew his fantasy.

It was dark and silent, but a pair of hazel eyes was still able to find the lithe blond's figure and scrutiny him intently.

"Who... who are you?"

Justin looked up from his sketchpad and found himself looking into a pair of confused hazel eyes. It took him a second to stand up and run out of the room looking for a doctor.

He slowed down when he reached Sean's office. What was he going to do now? How could he explain his presence to the man? He would think that Justin was crazy. Who would be standing in a stranger's room drawing in the middle of the night?

He knew that he couldn't go back to Brian's room once he had talked to Sean, but at the same time, it felt like that was exactly what he was supposed to do.

He knocked on the closed white door and his friend's voice called for him to come inside. "Sean!"

"Jus, what's wrong?"

"He woke up. Brian! He's awake!"

Before Sean could say anything, Justin was already walking again down the deserted hallway. However, this time, as he walked past Brian's door, he didn't look inside but just kept on walking until he was in the elevator.

*********************************

Brian was still looking at the opened door that Justin had left behind him, when Sean walked inside. A big smile on his face even if his eyes were sad.

"Mr. Kinney!" Sean walked over to Brian's bed and waved a pen-light in his eyes. "Do you remember your name?"

"Brian... K... Kinney" His voice was husky and he almost didn't recognized it himself. "Wha... what happened?"

"You've been in a coma but it looks like you're finally out of it. It's amazing news."

Brian looked again towards the door. "Who... who was t... that guy?"

"So you saw Justin."

He nodded and looked confused up at Sean. "Why was..."

"Here?" At the other man's nod, he said, "He stopped almost every night for the last five months and a half."

"I don't think I... kn... know him."

"You didn't. So, I have to ask you some questions."

"Ok."

"Who's the president?"

"Bush."

Sean frowned and then smiled. "Sorry, wrong question. You were in coma when the last elections took place. In case you want to know, the new president is Barack Obama."

"How long was I out of it?"

"I can't really tell you. You seem fine. You're coherent and your vitals look fine, but I want the opinion of the neurologist that admitted you when you had the accident. And this takes us to the next question. What is the last thing you remember?"

Brian closed his eyes and forced himself to think. He felt tired even knowing that he had probably been sleeping for years. "I think I was walking with Michael... I was coming out from a club."

Sean nodded. "It was probably the night before your accident because it was morning when you were brought in. Apparently, you were run over by a car."

"Christ."

"Just stay relaxed."

Just then, Brian noticed the drawings on the wall next to his bed. In some of them there was him and in some he was with another man, slightly shorter than him. He knew that it was Justin without having to think about it.

He wanted to reach out and trace the lines on the paper, but when he tried to lift his hand, he couldn't. "Why... why can't I move?"

"It's very normal. Since you've been in a coma for a long time, your muscles have atrophied. You will need several months of physiotherapy but I can assure you that you will be just fine." Sean smiled. "I've been studying your case for a while now. I know every x-ray and scan you did when admitted and there wasn't nerve damage to your back. You were lucky I guess... you only hit your head and broke an arm. Almost a miracle if you ask me. You can move your head though. Moving it up and down to fix the pillows, to wash you and everything else, your muscles there are strong enough to let you move a bit." Sighing, he took the chart and wrote down Brian's vitals and the time of his awakening. "I suggest you to sleep now. It will all look better in the morning. I will send Dr. Morgan to you as soon as he gets here."

Brian nodded.

"Very well then. Goodnight Mr. Kinney."

Brian didn't answer. He watched Sean walking out of the room and then closed his eyes. He was still able to see the young blond's surprised face when their eyes connected. He could still see the relief and the happiness that flashed on that face just before he jumped up and went to call the doctor. Before closing his eyes surrendering to sleep, Brian wondered if he was ever gonna see him again.

*********************************

It was almost three days until Brian had regained the strength to stay awake for more than a few minutes. Therefore, before he could really become aware of how much of his life that been wasted, he had to wait three days. During those three days, every time he was asleep, Brian could always hear a voice telling him a story that he didn't know. It was a voice that he didn't recognize. Plus, his dreams were always filled with a pale face, sparkling blue eyes and blond hair. He felt like he had known Justin all his life.

A week after he had regained consciousness, Brian was finally told that he had been in a coma for five years, that his POA had tried to terminate his life-support and that it was pretty much a miracle that he had woken up after all that time.

Miracle. That was a word that he heard a lot that week. From the nurses, from the doctors and from Mikey and Lindsay, when they finally had time to go visit him.

"BRIAN! OH GOD YOU'RE AWAKE!" was the first words that came out of both their mouths. They looked older, Michael had a ring on his ring-finger and Lindsay wasn't wearing hers anymore. He had a lot of questions but somehow, he didn't want to ask them. Didn't want to know how he had been left behind...

"Where's Gus?" was the first thing that he asked.

They seemed taken aback from that question. "We came here to see how you were..."

Brian cut Michael off. "Where's my son?"

"At home. He's at home," Lindsay replied. "We didn't want to bring him in case..."

Suddenly, he felt tired again. "I had become a nutcase? I didn't recognize you? I couldn't hug him? Does he even remember me? Did you ever tell him about me?"

"Brian, it's been almost six years. When you went into a coma Gus was only five and now he's almost eleven. We didn't know how you were going to act when you saw him or how he was going to act..."

"I forgot." He suddenly exclaimed and laughed. "Is it true that you stopped coming?"

Lindsay and Michael didn't reply, but the looks on their faces was enough of an answer for Brian. He wondered how many things that voice was right about. "I guess that life just got in the way, right?"

"Brian we were..."

"Alive, Mikey, I know. I was laying in a hospital bed while you all were out there in the world. So tell me, how's everyone? You got married?"

"Yeah a couple of years ago. I went to Canada and..."

"You could have waited. It's legal to get married now."

Linz and Michael looked at each other surprised. "You know?" asked Lindsay.

Brian looked away, towards the window. "Someone told me." After several minutes in silence, he glanced at them. "C'mon, fill me in."

"I left Melanie," Linz blurted out.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." he whispered even if he didn't care in the least. He had never been friend with her and was almost happy that she was out of the picture now.

"I've had a... hmh... a change of ideas and Mel left..."

Brian frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I'm seeing a... a man."

"You what?"

"It's not the first one" Michael told him and Brian raised an eyebrow.

"So you've been playing in both teams?"

Lindsay diverted her gaze, suddenly finding interest in the floor.

"And what about you Mikey? Did you meet Mr. Husband before or after you tried to kill me?"

"I didn't... that's not true" Michael defended himself. "A drunk driver tried to kill you... I just didn't want you wasting away in a hospital room..."

"As you can see, I hadn't wasted away. I'm just fine... I will just need some physiotherapy..."

Mikey nodded. "Dr. Morgan told us about that. We were thinking that you could come home with me and Ben, he's my husband, and we could..."

"Is my loft still mine?"

"Yeah it is but..."

"I'm going there."

"Brian..."

"What?"

"Who's gonna help you?"

"I made the Doc that first checked on me when I woke up, call the insurance company. Ryder is still saving a job for me, I honestly don't know why, so I'm covered. I will have some therapy here for a month and then I will go home where I will have someone taking care of me and helping me out with physiotherapy."

"But Brian, we can help..."

He cut Lindsay off. "You didn't bother in the last two, almost three years. You can save your breath now. I..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't want to see anyone of you..." He looked straight into Linz's eyes. "But I want to have some time with Gus. When I'm completely recovered I want to see him. Get to know him. I will contact a lawyer and draw up some papers, until then, we don't have anything to say to each other." Brian closed his eyes again and this time didn't open them until he heard the door to his room being opened and closed.

When he opened them, he was alone, left alone once again with the ghost of that blond lingering in the room.

******************Ten Months Later******************

He could hear the floor vibrating under his feet as the music blasted out from the speakers. Downing another glass of JB, he felt as if he had never left. His kingdom was right where he had left it. The only differences, were that the men were younger, the music newer... the faces different.

In the last ten months, a lot had happened. It took him almost seven months to regain his whole strength back; to be able to walk without using a cane... to fuck as hard as before. Three months ago he got his job back and reconnected with his son. He was trying his best to act like nothing had ever happened. That his friends hadn't betrayed him... that a drunk driver hadn't tried to kill him.

It was in his bed at night that he couldn't pretend. Ten months, and that voice and that face were still in his mind. He had the whole story completed now. He knew about the parents killed, the hustling, the hopes, the dreams... about that Peter guy... still, he couldn't find him.

He put his glass down and climbed the stairs to the catwalk. It only took him a couple seconds and then his eyes found a blond head... a lithe figure... someone that he could have found in a sea of other men... looking down, Brian saw that it was right that time. The blond was surrounded by hundreds of men, and still, he was all Brian could see.

*********************************

Justin was dancing in the middle of Babylon's dance floor when he felt a hand grabbing him by the wrist spinning him around.

He looked up finding himself staring into confused hazel eyes that he had only once seen before.

"I'm sorry" Brian said still without letting Justin go. "But I need..." He trailed off, studying the terrified expression on the blond's face. "You were at the hospital, why?"

Justin was standing there, too shocked and scared to say or do anything. When someone bumped into him, he finally slipped out of his trance and shook his head. "Sorry, you must be mistaken."

"But..."

"I don't know you, I'm sorry." He gently pulled his wrist out of the older man's grasp and cursed himself for lying but as he was walking out of the club, he told himself that he had done the right thing.

He had hoped that Brian would have forgotten all about him after almost a year even if he had thought about him every day since he had walked away from that room that night.

Justin was scared, confused... He asked himself 'how can you tell someone that you fell in love with him while he was in a coma and you were being abused and a whore?'

Shaking his head, Justin disappeared in the summer night.

******************Five Months Later******************

Justin put his sketchpad down when he heard footsteps coming up from behind him.

"Hey!"

When he turned around, his eyes connected with a pair of brown one. "Hey Ethan."

"I was wondering if you wanted to go grab something to eat with me." Walking over to Justin, he looked from over his shoulder at the drawing resting in his lap and smirked. "Still the Coma Man."

"I told you not to call him that." He quickly closed the sketchpad and stood up. "But I'd like to eat something. I'm starving."

"You're always starving." Ethan threw an arm over Justin's shoulders and smiled at him when they started walking away from the campus. "So, have you ever seen him again?"

"Just that time at Babylon that I've told you about."

He nodded. "It was almost six months ago."

"Yeah pretty much."

"And it's been over a year since he woke up, right?"

"Yes."

They looked both way and then crossed the street walking over to the bus stop. "I wish you had a car" Ethan said. "I mean, with a sugar daddy like yours..."

Justin laughed shoving Ethan playfully. "Peter is not my sugar daddy."

"He's hot."

The blond raised an eyebrow. "If you want, I could always introduce you."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I prefer my men a little bit younger."

They waited in silence until they were on the bus. Deciding to go to the Liberty Diner, they got off on Liberty Avenue and walked over to the diner.

"I hate this place" Justin murmured and Ethan looked at him surprised.

"What's wrong with this...?"

"Sunshine!" A loud screech echoed in the diner and Justin sighed.

"That's what's wrong."

Ethan looked at him confused but followed him until they were sitting in one of the last booths.

"Debbie," Justin greeted politely.

"What's with this Debbie? What happened to 'Hey Deb!'?" She asked when she was standing at their table.

Justin looked straight into her eyes. "What happened to you when Brian was in a coma?"

That seemed to put the waitress off. "Justin..."

"You know what? Never mind. We came here to eat. I'd like to have a cheeseburger and a coke, please." He took off his jacket and diverted his gaze to the door dismissing Debbie.

She stayed dumbfounded for a few minutes before recovering, writing down his order, ask Ethan what he wanted and then leaving.

"What the hell was that all about?" Ethan asked when they were alone once again.

"Nothing."

"Jus, c'mon I'm your best friend if you don't tell me things, how am I supposed to help?"

"You can't help" he replied quietly.

"And why is that?"

"I just... I don't want to talk about it..."

"So she's one of the people in the pictures."

Justin looked up from the table and straight into his best friend's brown eyes. "What?"

"Once you got drunk and you were mumbling something about how stupid people can get. I asked you what you meant, and you said that Ms. Peterson was a stupid fake-lesbian along with the people in the pictures that were in Brian's hospital room."

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"So what happened? They never went to visit him?"

Justin looked away sighing. "Ethan..."

"Well, then they're really bad persons. If I was in coma, I'd like to have my friends and my family around me."

The blond only nodded before standing up. "I'm going to the restroom" he quietly said before disappearing behind the green doors at the end of the diner.

Laying his head against the closed door in the bathroom, Justin sighed. Shortly after Brian had woken up, he had gone to meet with the teacher that got him into PIFA. He was utterly happy, until he was face to face with the blond from the pictures in Brian's hospital room.

He had gotten angry, called her a traitor. Lindsay had tried to tell him that she had a son to look after and a bunch of crap that Justin didn't want to hear. She asked him how he knew Brian and he just said that he had met him when he most needed it and then left. Soon after that, he went to the Liberty Diner and found Linz there with all the other people from the pictures. That's when he met Debbie.

She was nice to him, called him Sunshine and it was fine until Justin had recognized her. He had walked out of that place and hadn't set foot in it for over a year.

He had often asked himself what the hell he was doing getting angry at people for something that wasn't really any of his business, but he just couldn't help it.

A knock on the door, pulled Justin away from his thoughts. He cleared his throat. "Yeah?"

"You ok in there?" The voice sounded familiar. It reminded him of a dark hospital room... of Babylon's dance floor...

His eyes suddenly open wide, he blurted out a quick yes.

"Sure?"

"Yes, I'm ok." He waited for the door of the bathroom to open and close and then stepped outside. When he was back in the front of the diner, he saw him leaving. Absolutely sure that it was Brian.

He sat down at his table where Ethan was already eating.

"You... you saw that man that came out of the bathroom before me?"

His best friend nodded taking another bite from the hamburger. "It... it was Brian. Your Brian" he said around a mouthful.

"I know."

"He heard you talking with that waitress. Wanted to know if you were ok."

"He came in the bathroom to check on me."

"Not surprised. When he came over, I was shocked. I called him 'Justin's Brian' and he was surprised that you had been talking to me about him. Fuck he's hot don't you think? And he's gay. You weren't sure."

"Well, he was at Babylon..." Justin frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"He's sure to know by now that I was..."

"A whore? Jus, it's not like you wanted it and..."

"That's not the point" he said getting up and retrieving his jacket. "I'm going back to school."

"Wait, your lunch..."

"Not hungry" he said before walking out of the diner.

*********************************

When the elevator doors opened, Brian stepped on the too familiar floor. He stopped for a few minutes in front of his ex-room. 1729. He asked himself if maybe those numbers meant anything. He had been 29 when he had met Justin and the boy 17.

Inside the room was a new patient. It was a man in his late fifties at least.

"Brian" he heard called from behind him. He turned around finding his doctor standing a couple of feet away.

"Hey Doc" he greeted Sean.

"So, what brings you here?"

"Do you think we could talk in your office for a minute?"

Sean nodded and leads Brian to his office. When he had closed the door behind him, he turned around finding Brian already sat on the chair where he used to check on Justin. He smiled.

"You're looking for him?" he asked.

Hazel eyes met gray. "I dream about him every night. I can hear his voice... I'm going crazy... Sometimes I wonder if he's real or..."

"I'm sure that it's the same for him." Sean grabbed a chair and sat down in front of Brian. "Do you remember what he used to tell you?"

"Yeah... everything..."

"It was probably because you were coming out from the coma."

"I had woken up before."

Sean looked at him confused. "What you mean?"

"I don't know how long before the last time, but I woke up and Justin was there. Sleeping."

"He used to spend a lot of time in your room."

"He... he told me everything about him..." he said quietly. The doctor nodded and sighed. "I don't know where to find him. He said that his guardians were the Lawrens but I've looked for a Justin Lawren and..."

"Taylor" Sean told him smiling. "His name now it's Taylor. He took back his father's surname."

"He never told me that" he said lost in thinking after a few minutes. "I will start looking for a Justin Taylor then." He stood up, ready to leave Sean's office when he felt a hand on his wrist.

"Have you seen him again after...?"

"Yeah a couple of times. He..." Brian smiled shaking his head. "He defended me to my former family."

"It's like him" Sean said laughing. "Always ready to help but never to get helped."

"He told me about a Peter. He was living with him..."

"Yeah but I don't know what that guy's last name is or where he lives. Justin has been here just a few times since he started college."

"Right. PIFA. Second year now."

"Yeah."

"I have to find him" Brian said determined.

Sean smiled. "Thank God! You were the best thing that happened to him in a long long time and it's about time that you went to find him."

Brian laughed. "Thank you Sean. How long has he been coming to visit me?"

"About six months I guess."

Brian nodded.

"Brian, take him to visit me from time to time."

Brian smiled at him. "I will. Bye" He walked out of the hospital determined to find Justin and talk to him.

******************Nine Months Later******************

Brian was walking down Liberty Avenue when he saw Justin again. It was two years after he had woken up and he had almost lost hope of ever seeing him again.

He had hired a private investigator to find Justin Taylor but when he had a phone number and an address, he suddenly asked himself how he was going to explain himself. While deciding on the best course of action, nine months had gone by.

He was starting to think that it was too late when he finally looked up and saw him. A big smile broke out on his face.

Brian quickly looked both side and then crossed the street.

*********************************

Justin was walking to the Art Store when he felt himself being grabbed. "What the fuck!" He shouted freeing himself.

"Wait..." Brian grabbed Justin's elbow again making him turn around. "How do you manage to disappear?"

The younger man pulled himself out of the grasp. "What do you want, Brian?" he asked and without thinking he gave himself away.

A smirk broke out on the older man's face again. "How do you know my name?"

"I..."

"You just called me Brian. How did you know that that was my name?" he smirked and took a step closer to Justin while the younger man took one back. "Tell me why I fucking dream of you every night ever since I woke up from the coma."

Justin shook his head and tried to turn around but Brian grabbed him again.

"I'm sorry but I can't help you."

Brian pushed Justin up against the brick wall and studied the clouded blue eyes that were staring at him pleadingly. "Yes you can. You were in my room when I woke up. Both times..."

"You mean you woke up before?"

"See? You're doing a shit job of pretending to not know me." Brian smiled softly and let the boy go, taking a step back. "I want to know if what I hear is true. Your name is Justin, right?"

Deciding that it didn't make any sense to keep lying, he nodded.

"You're nineteen, well, now you should be twenty. It's been two years since I woke up and Sean said that you'd been coming to see me for months."

"So you don't remember..." Justin said regretfully and feeling once again stupid for thinking that Brian could remember him.

"No I remember. I just asked him if you were real and how long you had been coming."

Brian put his hand on Justin's cheek and felt the other man tremble.

"You... you remember everything?" The blond asked.

The older man nodded and said "Almost. I have some holes here and there that I hoped you could fill in."

"Then you know that I'm a whore."

"Were" he corrected gently. "You told me that yourself one of the last time you came."

"It doesn't matter, once a whore always a whore." Justin pulled away from Brian and tried once again to get away. "Now you know that you're not crazy, you can forget all about..."

"Don't even say it." Brian was suddenly angry. "When I woke up, I was alone. My family had moved on and they didn't even care to come see if I was still alive. They told me that they were sorry but that they had lost hope. I felt betrayed and I started having dreams of you, I'd started hearing what you told me and I asked Sean and I already know that I'm not crazy even if I didn't tell him what you told me. Do you really think that I care if you used to hustle because your adoptive father made you do it?" He grabbed Justin's face between his hands and smiled again. "Because if you think I do, I don't give a shit about it. You don't know me, but you came to visit me for months, talking to me, telling me about your life, being sure that I would wake up even after five years... you can't fucking leave me again. I've only got you."

Justin felt hot tears streaming his face and he tried to see reason for both of them. "You just think that you don't have anyone but me. It's like a side effect. I'm sure that you just have to fall back into your old routine and in a couple of months, you won't remember about how stupi..."

He was cut off when the lips of the older man came down on his. He felt himself give in and before he realized it, he was clenching on to Brian as if his life depended on it.

"Don't tell me what I feel" Brian told him once he had pulled back to breath. "Do you think it's crazy that I love you?"

Justin shook his head. "Not unless we're both crazy."

*****************************

Brian slowly and gently let his hands travel down Justin's naked torso. He felt the younger man's hand reaching out to grab his and entwined their fingers. He looked up into shining blue eyes and used his free hand to catch the tears that were flowing down the blond's cheeks.

And as their lips met in another kiss, both Brian and Justin, felt loved for the first time in their life.

Epilogue

As soon as the dean had dismissed them, Justin ran down the stage and towards Brian.

The older man took him in his arms and kissed him soundly. When he had put him down, he looked into his happy blue eyes and smiled.

The young artist took Brian by his hand and started to pull him towards the parked jeep.

"C'mon! We have to be there in half an hour."

"In such a hurry to be tied down" he joked but followed the blond laughing.

"Yeah, it's about fucking time that you made an honest man out of me!" Justin yelled at him climbing inside the jeep and hurried his soon to be husband in the car. "C'mon! Hurry up!"

"Ok calm down, Princess."

Justin smiled brightly looking at Brian's profile as the man drove them towards the City Hall.

They decided two years before that they were going to get married when Justin finished College. And the younger man had convinced Brian that they had to be proclaimed husband and husband the same day that he graduated because he didn't want to wait any longer.

Now, as they drove laughing and talking, they felt like they were headed towards a new begging and they couldn't wait.

The End