Chapter 8

_Alex_

Alex locked the door to her bathroom behind her. Walking over to the bathtub, she sat down on the corner. Reaching forward and turning the water on lightly. She announced to her parents she would be taking a late shower. Alex had this down to a science. They would never suspect a thing. She pulled the switchblade out of her jeans pocket. Yanking her shirt over her head, she shuttered. One thought was pounding through her head like a heartbeat. 'He's leaving, he's leaving, he's leaving.' A silent sob escaped her lips. When he had told her that he was going away on tour her instinct had been to scream, "No! No you can't leave me! Please don't go!". But she had swallowed her words. Tokio Hotel was his life. Hell, the band was her life too. He loved touring and she wouldn't take that away from him. Inside it would be killing her to have him gone. He would never see that though; she would make sure of that. 'He's leaving.' Ale pressed the knife against the pale, almost translucent, flesh of her stomach. Up, down, and across she sliced. Drops of blood fell into the tub, her blood. No, she wouldn't cut enough to endanger her life, but it helped to numb the pain inside her. She walked over to the mirror, careful not to get blood on the floor, and looked at her reflection. 'Billa' was written very clearly across her stomach. Surrounding that word were lots of smaller cuts, some old, some fresh. Some were scars so old they were almost gone. A stab of pain shot through her as she thought of Bill being gone, across the country. Alex sighed. If she was going to be with a musician she was going to have to get used to this, to him being gone. She wasn't sure she was ever going to be used to that, but she would have to try.

_Bill_

Pulling up to the drive thru at Bigby, Bill ordered his favorite flavor of iced coffee. He needed to relax. Leaving Alex like this was so hard to do. He needed to let her know how he felt before he went away, to make sure she was ok before he left her. The weight of the words he hadn't yet said was an unbearable burden. He had never been closer to anyone as quickly as he had gotten close to Alex. It was killing him that he had to leave her so soon after finding her. He was sure it was hurting her as well, though she had too much pride to say so. He felt a little better but still not at ease with the way she had assured him earlier. He didn't want to leave her but the rest of his band wanted to tour. He didn't want to be the one to stop that. 'I have to tell her how I feel,' the thought was a constant in the back of his mind. 'Maybe I should buy her something?' Bill decided that this was a good idea and sped off to find a store.

_Collette_

Collette sighed and rolled over to find a still sleeping Tom beside her. She really did care about him. Most people would probably speculate that she was just with him for the sexual aspect of being with him, but that wasn't the case. She wasn't like that. She truly cared about Tom, so she had no problem with giving him that part of herself. It just made them closer to each other, it made their relationship stronger. Her friends wouldn't understand that. They didn't know that she actually had real feelings for him. They also wouldn't understand how afraid she was, afraid that he'd leave and not return, that he'd decide he didn't want her anymore, afraid that he'd find another girl, a prettier girl who he cared for more. Tom had been known as a heartbreaker, she just hoped that her heart wasn't next.

_Tom_

Tom heard Collette sigh next to him and smiled, liking the sound. 'Today I have to leave her,' he thought. The feeling that came with this thought made him want to cry. 'I don't want to leave her.' Tom was definitely not used to this. He had been bouncing from girl to girl for most of his life. This was the first time he'd ever been afraid of leaving someone. He was really going to miss her, more than he had ever missed a girl before. Of that, he was certain. She made him so happy, more so than any other girl ever had. And he was afraid of losing her, afraid some other guy would come around and steal her from him. He didn't ever want to be with anyone else… what was this feeling?

_Bill_

"Yes, that one would be perfect. Thank you," Bill told the clerk who was assisting him.

"Would you like me to put it in a box, sir?"

"Yes please, that would be great."

"Ok, I'll be right back then." The store clerk left Bill to look around at the other merchandise. He was sure that he had made the right choice. Alex would want something simple, not too flashy, but not boring either.

The clerk returned ad Bill handed the man his credit card, not even bothering to look at how much his purchase cost. Not that it would matter anyway, he was buying it and that was that. Alex was probably going to be angry with him for spending money on her, but oh well, she would get over it. Bill took the box and headed out the door, jumping in his car and going to find Alex.

Collette and Tom were out to dinner at one of the fanciest restaurants in town. He had decided to treat her since he was leaving the next morning. She seemed pleasantly surprised by his idea and was enjoying herself greatly. They both were. It was good for both of them to see they could have a nice relationship outside of the bedroom, too. Tom had no doubts now that he could be with Collette for a long time, not that he'd had many before. He could really talk to her like he wasn't usually able to with other women. She was different, definitely unique, but in a very good way. They really were good together, as odd a couple as they might be.

"You know, Collette, I really don't want to leave you," Tom took her hand across the table.

"I don't want you to leave either, Tommi."

"I won't find another girl, you know. I promise you."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep," Collette looked cautious to believe him.

"I wouldn't. I am going to keep this one. I really care about you Collette. You're different than all of the others. There's just something about you…"

Collette blushed, rare for her. "You know I care about you too, Tom. A lot."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, well…" Tom looked nervous. No, terrified would be a better word. He took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. "I love you, Collette."

Collette smiled, "I love you, too."

Tom leaned over the table and kissed her softly on the lips. The moment was magical. Neither wanted it to end.

Bill pulled Alex closer into his arms. The two had gone to the park by Alex's house and Alex had attempted to show Bill how to play basketball, attempted being the operative word. There had been many laughs and some near-injuring accidents, but both had come out mostly unscathed. Alex was a star athlete and Bill loved just watching her play her game. She had a grace about her while she moved about the court, but such a power too. She was so strong, yet fluid. He was unable to describe it. He could have watched her all day.

Alex liked seeing the admiration in his eyes while she did even the simplest moves. He had failed at most of them though, so it wasn't like she was that much better than everyone else. At least that's what she thought. Everyone else could see just how good she was.

The sun was now beginning to set and Alex would have to get home soon. The two were stealing their last few minutes together before he left for the tour. They were snuggled up beneath one of the basketball hoops. Both were incredibly sad, devastated even, that they would be apart so soon after finding each other. It wasn't like they would never see each other again, but a few weeks was a long time. Neither would admit how much being apart was going to hurt them, for fear of making it worse for the other.

"You know I wouldn't be leaving if I didn't know that I would be back in a few weeks, right?"Bill asked, kissing Alex's neck.

"I know. I wish you didn't have to, but it's only a couple weeks. I can survive and so can you."

"I just wish we didn't have to be apart. I just found you… Promise you'll still be here when I get back?"

"Promise."

"Good, because, Alex, now that I've found you, I can't lose you. Not permanently. I never thought I'd find someone as perfect for me as you are."

"I never thought I'd have you, either. I can't help but feel like it's all going to evaporate, like this is all a dream and I have to wake up to reality in the morning."

"Well, it's not a dream, love. And I'm here to stay. As long as you want me, there will be no keeping me away."

"I'll always want you. You've always been the only one for me."

"And you will always be the one for me, mein leibe."

Alex kissed him softly on the lips and he fished the box out of his back pocket.

Placing it in front of her, he said, "I have something for you, leibe. Go on, open it."

Alex looked reluctant, but pulled the bow off the top anyways. Seeing the contents, Alex's eyes went wide. Inside was a diamond necklace. A simple circle cut pendant dangled from a delicate, almost fragile looking silver chain. She looked up at Bill, mouth agape in surprise. He smiled down at her. "Do you like it?"

"Like it? Bill, it's the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen. But I can't except it… it must've cost a fortune…"

"Money doesn't matter, leibe. I want you to have it to remember me by while I'm away. Wear it every day and think of me."

"I will, I promise. But how could you spend so much on me like this?"

"Because I love you, Alex. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I never want to lose you."

Alex looked shocked. "I love you, too," she replied automatically, but meaning every word of it. This was a scene out of her wildest dreams. Even then it had seemed farfetched. "As long as you want me, Bill, I will always be yours."

Bill leaned down and kissed her passionately. This was, by far, the best moment of both of their lives.