Harriet Oleson got away with a lot and her husband Nels let her. Well maybe "let" was the wrong word; after all, no one controlled Harriet Oleson. But Nels rarely spoke up when Harriet was being cruel. He stayed silent the first time Caroline Ingalls sold eggs at the mercantile. Harriet gave Caroline less for the brown eggs out of spite because a little girl named Laura Ingalls dared to stand up to her Nellie. He stayed silent many times after that, while Harriet and Caroline had their confrontations, even if he was secretly happy when Caroline put Harriet in her place.

But sometimes, he just had to put Harriet in her place himself.

Nels warned Harriet not to put up her mother's riding cup for the horserace. He warned her that Laura could very well win. Harriet didn't listen, and put it up anyway. When Laura won the race, he took Harriet by the arm made her present the cup to Laura herself.

But the true moment of making Harriet act right came when Laura returned the cup. Harriet was shocked into relative silence when Laura gave the cup back to her. Nels pointed out that three pairs of shoes were a fine way to return that kindness. Harriet agreed, but when she didn't follow through, Nels told her that it was she who must fit the Ingalls girls for shoes. Harriet acquiesced, but after the Ingalls left, she polished the cup obsessively while she ranted about "dirty little fingerprints".

Nels was sure many in Hero Township thought that he occasionally stood up to Harriet because he was tired of her being an embarrassment to him. Yes, part of that was true, but there was more to it than that. He loved Harriet, and knew exactly what type of woman he was marrying when he proposed to her. He also knew Harriet had a side to her that was so rarely seen. As he had once told Charles Ingalls when he and Harriet were on the verge of separation, underneath everything, Harriet really did have a soft heart.

Nels occasionally put Harriet in her place not to punish her or make her mind him, but to show her there was a different way to behave. He wanted her to know that a little girl could have enough compassion to return a valuable heirloom to a woman who had done everything in her power—short of outright cheating—to win. When he saw that moment of vulnerability from Harriet when Laura returned the cup, he seized upon the opportunity to make her do the right thing. To her credit she was cordial with the Ingalls girls while she fitted them for shoes. As Nels anticipated however, she was back to her normal self not long after they left.

But then, Rome wasn't built in a day.

Someday, Nels hoped, all these little things, all the times Nels had finally made Harriet do the right thing over the years, would add up, and she would see the truth—that she could have the respect of others instead of resorting to mischief and gossip to get attention. He hoped one day Harriet would not be afraid to be good, to show others the kind woman he knew she could be.

He loved her enough to want her to be the best person she could. He loved her enough not to coerce her into changing but to simply show her there was another way to live. He loved her enough to know he would always love her even if she never changed.