Summary: Bella wakes up in the middle of the night, distraught to find that Edward is not with her. A note lies in his place to say he's gone hunting but Bella is insecure that he's left her again, what does she do? Post New Moon. Two-Shot.

Authors Note: Okay, so here is a two-shot that randomly came to me whilst I was driving. Well, my mother was driving. I can't actually drive myself yet... Anyway, the idea expanded as idea's often do to produce this two-shot. I felt it needed to be split up because of its length, and to show a bit more of Bella's anxiety and desperation (I hope this chapter leaves you wanting the next).

Many thanks to Thats-So-Alex for her Beta-ing again.

Of course, I do not own Twilight; Stephenie Meyer does.

Happy Reading:

My terrifying dream came crashing around me as I awoke with a start, my vision blurry at first but finally settling as I focused on the patterns of my bedcovers – the swirls and curls of the black stitching on the purple fabric. As my breathing was just about to even out, it quickened when I realised there was no perfect creature kissing me and telling me I was okay; there were no cool arms to wrap around me tightly. Edward was not beside me.

My pulse increased and my tear ducts betrayed me as tears sprang in my eyes blurring my vision once more. He'd left me again. He'd broken his promise. He'd left me.

Just as the sobs broke out, and I curled myself into the covers to bury myself in the reality that had hit me again – I was not good enough – a rustling sound caught me attention. A small note lay where Edward should have been.

For several minutes, I sat, staring at the piece of paper with Edward's neat handwriting on it from a distance. I didn't read it. I couldn't read it, yet. I needed to brace myself for the fact he'd left me again, despite all his promises, despite the fact that this time, he knew I would not survive the heartbreak.

But I needed to read it. I needed to see what was so devastating that he could not say in person, what words he could not voice. Was a paper goodbye better than a vocal goodbye? I blinked the tears away so my eyes were free to read:

Bella,
I've gone hunting with Emmett.
This is in case you wake prematurely
Sleep, my darling,
All my love, Edward x

The words provided both relief and fright – I was scared that if I fell back to sleep, expecting him to be there when I wake, that I would miss my chance to protest and convince him to stay. What if he was leaving? He had, supposedly, lied before when he said he did not love me. What if he was lying now, telling me he was hunting, when in fact he was leaving?

All my insecurities came flooding back; all it took to spark them was for Edward to mutter something, for me to make a mistake, for something like this to happen and I was putty. My muscles were dead; my heart unstable, my tear ducts traitors. Only when I saw Edward would I know he was staying, and that he loved me. It was as if he had been waiting for time to allow an escape from the grasp of the pathetic human girl.

My cheeks stung with the bitter feeling of despair and loss, but I suddenly felt an urge of adrenaline. I needed to find Edward. If he was hunting, he would carry me back to bed, kiss my head, and tell me he loved me. If he was leaving, I could convince him to stay. If he'd left…I'd crawl up in my hole and wait for life to end.

Quickly, I scrambled out of bed and folded the note perfectly into quarters, inhaling the scent of Edward that was so faint it was almost non-existent. I hoped it was not a sign that, soon, he would be leaving me.

It seemed childish and silly, but I couldn't help myself. I slipped into some of the best clothes I had (still jeans and sneakers but a decent shirt) in an attempt to be the beautiful girl that Edward deserved. I brushed my hair, and applied a small amount of blusher to my paling cheeks. I had no time to do any more. With my feeble human speed, I needed as much time to find Edward. Beauty was something that had a limited enhancing factor.

I slid the note in my pocket, my cell on the bedside table, pillows making a Bella-shaped lump under the covers. Wouldn't it be easier to ring him? No, of course not. Phones allowed people to lie; allowed people a warning so they could run faster. I needed to see him – the shape of his eyes, the smile on his lips, his squarely shaped shoulders and the crescent shaped scar on his neck that you could only see when you looked closely, or when I traced my finger over the shape of it.

But then I was faced with a dilemma. How did I leave? My decision had to be quick as time was not on my side. Charlie would wake, surely, if I crept out the front door. I did not have the quick agile movements of a vampire. I decided I'd do what I'd seen Edward do so many times before. I'd jump.

I walked over to the window, and yanked it up hard. The night air bit at me and the cold rain was coming down in fine amounts. It reminded me to wear a coat which I swiftly picked up off the floor. The tree was positioned outside and I closed my eyes as I outstretched my arms, willing my finger tips to touch the bark. But they didn't quite reach.

Instead, I opened my eyes, took a deep breath and leapt from the window sill, touching the branch with my foot and clinging to the trunk with a pounding heart and tight grip. I lowered myself down, step my step, my sneakers scraping against the wood before I landed with a small thump on the damp ground below me.

Hurriedly, I viewed the drop that I'd just made and sighed thankfully that I'd done it successfully, and not tripped with my typical clumsy self.

My truck sat on the driveway, waiting to be driven to aid my search. But, and I would never admit it to anyone else, it was old and a little… cranky. If I started the engine, it would wake Charlie. He would not let me go 'gallivanting' off to find the boy who had broken my heart, especially when my reason for being so panicked was because he was not in bed with my like he was every evening. Charlie would have a heart attack…

It got worse and worse as the anxiety increased and my desperation to see Edward grew. The longing for him to hold me was so intense it was unreal. It may have seemed pathetic to anyone watching, yet I couldn't help my feelings. I'd been hurt before, and although I was putting myself out to get hurt again, my paranoia and crappy self-esteem egged me on to finding him.

With the truck still on the driveway, I decided I'd walk. But it took me all of ten steps forward in the dark and wet that I realised it was a death wish. If I didn't find him, I'd be lost. Without a truck, I'd probably die of pneumonia on the roadside. Then again, if Edward had left, that was okay, I guess.

The keys were still in my coat pocket from the last time I'd driven it, and I silently thanked whoever may be listening to my reckless thoughts. I unlocked the door, and slid into the driving seat. Closing my eyes and biting my lip, I started the engine that grumbled to life with a loud splatter. My foot was pressed on the accelerator within seconds, and I was driving along the road, praying that Charlie had not awoken. Thankfully, no light illuminated the house.

I didn't know where to drive to. I was guessing somewhere where Edward would hunt, but where was that? I had no idea where he hunted, and I guessed it was somewhere in the forest – a place with tightly knitted trees that my truck would not fit through.

But I drove to a place where the forest was in view, although the darkness prevented me from seeing clearly. Trees covered the entrance which I did not want to go into, for fear I would get lost.

Now I was out of the confines of my bedroom, I didn't know what to do. Edward's face seemed to fade, and my eyes sprang fresh tears. I pulled over on the road, and took my anger out of the steering wheel, accidentally banging the horn which let out a loud beep, scaring me out of my skin.

"Come on, Bella, come on." I muttered to myself, giving myself the encouragement I needed. I had to do this.

Turning the car around, I drove a little into the scarce part of the forest. It seemed stupid, and deep down I knew it was, but my mind was dislodged from the rest of my body. My heart needed Edward, and it was not listening to anything else, including the protests of my conscience.

When my truck could no longer be driven any deeper, I pulled the flashlight out of the compartment in the dashboard, and got out. The night was as cold as ice, but it was nice. The cold embrace was familiar, and my hatred towards cold things had been lost when it was replaced by my love for Edward, who was, naturally, cold skinned.

I let the wind remind me of my beloved, and encourage me to find him. I wondered if he could smell me, or if he was even here. He'd probably left the country by now… somewhere in Canada. But I had to keep walking.

Every step felt like I was getting closer and closer. The darkness around me was only enlightened by the headlights of my truck that I'd left on and my flashlight that shone direct light in the shadows of the night.

As I walked further and further, I thought of Edward and the undeniable love and passion I had for him. I needed him as much as air, no, more than air.

Dodging the large uprooted grounds that spread out from the trees, I kept my eyes on the floor, my palms on the trees to steady myself. Leaves fell from their branches, landing in my hair. The rain that managed to fall wet my hair and dampened my skin, magnifying the attack of the wind.

But despite all of this, I carried on walking.

If Edward did leave me again, what would I do? Before, I'd been tricked into promising not to do anything reckless – I would not make that promise this time. Maybe if I didn't promise, he wouldn't leave. Or maybe he was telling the truth, maybe he was just hunting...

The darkness closed in around me but I was not scared. At least, I was not scared of the dark. I was scared, however, of not finding Edward. I had suffered both pain and misery, physically and mentally. If I had the choice, I would take the physical pain every day if it meant I would never suffer mentally again… if Edward would not leave. To fight with your own sanity for every minute was something that people should never have to experience. It was maddening, infuriating.

"Edward." I whispered weakly, "Where are you, Edward?" I sighed heavily, breaking at the end when tears corrupted my voice.

I got colder and the night, somehow, got darker. I wondered whether I should have just gone to the Cullen household – they don't all go hunting at one time. But it was too late for that now. I couldn't turn back now because I didn't know my way. I just wanted to know where he was… I wanted to know where I was. Wasn't the only way forward?

Then I tripped.

Of course I tripped, I always did. I fell, face first, into the muddy ground that splashed my clothes and my face with icky spatters of dirt. My knee had been sliced against something sharp on the ground and I cursed aloud.

Despite the sharp, frosty weather that managed to penetrate through the tree canopy, I took my coat off and placed it hurriedly beside me. Uncaring as to any possible onlookers, I quickly yanked my shirt off, shivering as I sat in the mud in my bra and jeans, and chucked my coat back over my body which was covered with goose bumps.

I twisted the shirt I had been wearing tightly so it resembled something rope-like and wrapped it around my leg, blocking the blood flow tightly.

I hoped it would stop the scent attracting anyone.

But I'd acted too slowly.

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To be continued...

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