Hey all =) So I decided to write a Valentine's Day story is not connected in anyway to my other fics.
All the usual disclaimers, I do not own Star Trek or the characters, though I would if I could.
Hope you are all well.
Enjoy!
Valentine's Day
Spock glanced at the chronometer a second time and then looked away. He did not need to be reminded twice that today was Valentine's Day. Despite what most would think, he was not unaffected by the significance of the holiday. It was yet another day in the year where he was painfully reminded that he was an outcast, a creature of two worlds who did not have a place in either. When he had been very young his mother had stressed the significance of the day by demanding that he, his father, and she all go out for dinner and then return to their household for a night of pleasantries—such as having a 3D chess tournament or playing scrabble. Later, when he had been in his pre-teen and teen years his mother has asked to have the day for herself and his father. He had agreed to make her happy and on that day he would stay home, while they went out, and study or conduct experiments. At the time he had not felt abandoned or lonely, he was happy to stay home and give his parents some alone time.
Now his mother didn't even have to ask him to stay home alone, since he wasn't home anymore. Spock closed his eyes briefly and fought off a feeling of aloneness. Here, in San Francisco, California, he was truly alone on this day. All of his acquaintances already had plans for the day; most would spend the day with their loves saying sweet nothings to each other and smiling the day away. Even Captain Pike, Spock's best friend and mentor, was busy, visiting southern Argentina with his children and wife. Only Spock was alone.
Already he could feel the traditional sense of utter desertion filling him, and it wasn't even five in the morning yet. Spock mentally shook his head and turned to gaze out of the window. San Francisco's infamous fog clung to everything making the world seem even sadder and lonelier.
Spock's eyes focused on the tree branches by his window which seemed to reach for him through the fog and he came to the decision not to let the significance of the day get to him this time. He would fight it off; he was Vulcan after all. He was the master of his emotions not the other way around.
With this in mind he moved to his closet and pulled out a pair of comfortable pants and a sweatshirt. He pulled his clothes on over his kitty pjs—a gift from his mother—and stepped up to his door. It slid open and he walked out of his standard Star Fleet apartment and into the hallway. It was silent and dark but he didn't mind, it gave him a feeling of security knowing nobody could see him.
He made his way to the door and slipped through it. The cold hit him like a brick wall and he barely suppressed a gasp. The fog clung to his eyelashes and he could feel it seeping through his clothes already. Taking a deep breath of the freezing air he took off down the steps.
He did not have a precise destination in mind; all he knew was that he needed to feel the comforting burn in his legs and his lungs. He needed to clear his head, to clean himself with the fresh air and let it take away his troublesome emotions.
Picking a random direction he sprinted down the pathways that wounded through the dorm rooms. Despite the hou,r the fog was illuminated as if from within. It glowed in the darkness, reflecting and capturing the light from bright windows and street lamps. It gave the entire affair a surreal feeling which Spock appreciated. He gulped down the air taking pleasure as it stung his throat and pumped his arms as he rounded a corner.
His long legs and Vulcan strength allowed him to travel at speed unachievable to even the most athletic of humans. Spock closed his eyes slightly and let the rhythm of his footfalls clear his head.
Dadum, dadum, dadum, dadum. He breathed in through his nose and let out a hearty breath. He was the master of his emotions. He did not need anyone else but himself to be content.
The cold air slapped against him, numbing him and effectively freeing him. He fell into his usual pattern and his feet took him in the direction of the ocean. Even after having lived six years, seven months, twenty days, fifteen hours, thirty-seven minutes, and five seconds on Earth, the ocean still captivated him and filled him with a sense of awe. There was nothing like it on Vulcan and he constantly founded himself seeking the ocean when he was uneasy. It helped balance him.
This morning his legs took him all the way to the water's edge. With a slick turn he started off along the beach, keeping to the hard, cold, wet sand and running around the incoming waves. He closed his eyes and pushed himself even harder in the darkness. He sprinted as fast as he could until his lungs burned with the need for oxygen and his body shook with from the exertion. He came to a slow walk, easing his overexerted muscles and catching his breath. He threw his head back and gulped down air, gasping and almost smiling as he received a nice kick from his runners high. He opened his eyes and stared at the fog.
The world was slowly lightening; although his surroundings remained in monochromatic and the shadows stayed long. His ears picked up a wind coming from the ocean before he felt the chilly breeze on his face. He turned to face the ocean, his eyes scanning the peaking waves and the hanging clouds. The cool wind felt wonderful on his hot skin and he stood there for several seconds, revealing in the feeling.
Eventually he tore his gaze from the enchanting water and turned back the way he had come. The thought of sprinting back crossed his mind. But then with a flood of emotion he realized he did not want to return to Academy just yet. He did not want to have to return to his room and sit on his meditation mat and reflect on the fact he was utterly alone. He didn't want to have to leave his room and see the happy couples holding hands in the hallway and the joyous smiles on their faces. So instead he made his way back to the Academy at a gentle stroll, taking time to admire the rising sun's rays piercing the fog and the white caps.
He paused by a rock and slipped his sneakers off. He picked them up and then continued on his way, letting his toes dip into the ice cold water. It sent shivers down his back and made him feel completely alive.
It was in a content state of mind that he stumbled upon her. He had been mindlessly walking, staring at the waves caressing the sand, when his delicate ears picked up a sigh. Not the sigh of the ocean, but a very human sigh. He glanced up and his good eyesight made out a human form less than a hundred feet away. He froze, waiting to see if the person had seen or heard him. But he or she seemed completely engrossed by the ocean; something Spock could appreciate and relate too. So he steadily and stealthily made his way closer until he could better make out who the humanoid was.
Despite his good eyesight he had to come within ten feet of her to finally realize, with a jolt, that it was in fact his student and teachers assistant, Nyota Uhura. The one woman whose face haunted his dreams and made his wish he weren't so cold and distant. She made him want to express his feelings towards her; she made him feel accepted.
He froze, not knowing what to do. His heart beat faster he noticed and his body reacted as if he was in imminent danger—which he was not. He didn't get time to analyze this reaction because she turned her face and her white teeth flashed in the darkness.
"Hi Spock." She whispered, the sound of her voice dampened by the fog. He blinked. He had not realized she knew he was there. He stepped forward and knelt down next to her.
"Good morning Uhura." He replied formally, trying to calm his heart which has skipped a beat when she uttered his name.
She laughed and he felt himself warm. "How many times have I asked you to call me Nyota when we are alone? And if you don't call this alone, I don't know what is."
Spock's brow furrowed but he was forced to acknowledge her argument. "You are correct, Nyota."
She smiled again. She appeared ethereal in the fog; her form was framed by glowing droplets of water and her eyes gleamed with reflected light. He almost gasped as a stray ray of sunlight pierced the fog and illuminated her face. She looked like an angle or a star, as was her namesake.
She was silent for as second then asked, "Why are you out here so early Spock? Taking a run?"
Spock glanced at his bare feet and nodded. "I would ask you the same thing."
She encircled her legs with her arms and rested her chin on her forearm. "Oh, just a bit melancholy I guess."
Spock felt a twinge of confusion. How could "just a bit melancholy" be a reason for being out at this hour? "That is illogical Nyota." He stated softly.
Nyota glanced at him and laughed softly, "Sorry the phrasing was off. What I meant was that I was feeling a bit melancholy and I decided to go out for a run. While I was running the idea to come watch the sunrise entered my mind, so here I am."
Spock nodded in understanding but could not help asking, "Why were you feeling melancholy, if I may ask?"
She glanced at him again and he could tell her eyes softened slightly. "Sure you can ask. I'm feeling melancholy because it's Valentine's Day and I don't have anyone to spend it with. That's all."
This statement utterly befuddled Spock. How could she not have anyone to spend the day with? She was one of the most entrancing people Spock had ever met; her intelligence and wit was a breath of fresh air after the normal idiocy of human kind, and her facial features almost perfectly symmetrical. Her eyes twinkled when she spoke and her vibrancy seemed to overflow and fill the space around her. Her smile could light up a room and she had the most harmonic voice; he had once attended her annual vocal performance and had been stunned by her singing. What had been more, she had sung a song in Vulcan, his native tongue. He had not been able to stay and watch then, instead fleeing the room and seeking solitude. The incredible emotions she had weaved into the song had overwhelmed him and had threatened to bring him to tears.
Now here she sat, softly announcing to the world that she did not have a lover or a love. He felt a surge of what could be identified as relief and joy at the thought that she was not taken, but then he suppressed his emotions, disgusted with his selfishness.
He sat down next to her in the lotus position and clasped his hands. "Nyota it cannot be for lack of offers that you sit here alone. I assure you, your company is much sought after by most males as you are indeed one of Star Fleets finest."
Nyota turned to face him and he noticed that her eyes were sad, "One of Star Fleet's finest?" She raised an eyebrow in an uncanny imitation of him. "You are right that I have had offers but none of them appeal."
Spock couldn't suppress his curiosity, "And why is that?"
Nyota looked down, "Because the one I wanted to spend Valentines with doesn't want to spend it with me."
Spock was startled by her statement, "Nyota, I assure you that your statement is highly improbable. Most humans find you very appealing"
Nyota chuckled but he noted no humor in her voice, "Thanks Spock. But I know it's true. You see, he's different. I'm sure he thinks I'm too emotional and too under qualified to ever be considered an option."
Spock wanted to tell her this was ridiculous. That no one in their right mind could ever think her under qualified or too emotional. She might not have a Vulcan's emotional control but she was never over the top and her occasional outbursts were usually warranted. But he found he couldn't speak without giving himself away; without betraying that he was very much in love with her.
So instead he decided to take a different approach. "Nyota, if you are so certain that this man would be averse to spending the day with you, would I serve as an adequate replacement?"
The moment he spoke the words he cringed, waiting for her rejection—waiting for her to look at him in utter disgust. So when she lifted her head and smiled so warmly it lit up her entire face, he was shocked.
"You're serious Spock?" Her voice was excited and frightened. Spock thought it was an illogical question.
"A Vulcan is always serious Nyota. I would not see you emotionally distressed if I can prevent it. Otherwise your work performance might be affected." He wasn't really trying to convince her of the logic behind his suggestion but himself.
Her smile faltered slightly and then she laughed softly, "Okay. Sounds good. I'd love to spend the day with you."
Spock blinked and took a deep breath, trying to suppress the bubbly feeling spreading through him. She watched him for a response and he realized that she was awaiting a response.
He fumbled around for something to say and settled for "If it would please you, we may watch the sunrise first." He kept the anticipation out of his voice; his mother had once mentioned that watching a sunset or sunrise with someone was what she termed 'romantic'.
Nyota blinked and then her brilliant smile was back. "I'd enjoy that commander." She turned away from him and settled into a more comfortable position. It was then that he noticed she was only wearing a thin pair of running shorts and a thin long-sleeve shirt. It was five degrees Celsius outside.
She would surely freeze or catch a chill. He stood up and she glanced at him, confusion in her eyes.
"I will return shortly. Please remain here." He ordered her, going into Commander mode. She blinked at him and seemed on the brink of replying but he raised a hand and silenced her.
"That is an order Cadet." He told her severely. Her confusion shown clearly on her face but she nodded. Pleased, he glanced one last time at her and then sprinted off in the direction of the Academy. One of his subordinates was in danger of becoming ill; therefore it was only logical that he prevent such an occurrence.
He made it to his apartment in less than four minutes and impatiently waited for his door to open before slipping into his room. Without a second thought he moved to his closet, retrieved two of his heavy, hand-knitted sweaters, a pair of his jogging pants, and a soft blanket. He turned and made his way back to his door. And then he down the corridor, out the door, and running through the cold, clingy fog once more. He angled his footsteps towards the beach and leaped onto the dark sand. He stayed close to the water as he sprinted back the way he had come.
She turned her face when she heard him approaching and he slowed to a walk in front of her.
"That was quick." She commented, her voice tinted with surprise. He breathed in deeply and nodded. Then he slipped down and sat next to her thin frame.
"I noted that you are wearing running attire and brought you these." He offered her his sweater and pants gingerly, waiting for her response. She glanced at him and then chuckled. She took the clothes and pulled the sweater over her head.
"Wow, this is really warm. That was very considerate of you, thanks Spock." He glowed under her thanks and turned to his face towards the ocean to hide his blush.
She stood up next to him and pulled the pants on over her running shorts. Spock forced himself to look away from her well shaped, sensuous legs. Oh how it would feel to brush his palm along those legs and up those hips.
Spock reeled back as an image of her, lying down on his bed, smiling lovingly at him, filled his mind. He clenched his hands violently and his back tensed. He should not be feeling this way—he should not want to sweep her off her feet and hold her against his chest. It was inappropriate and forbidden. A wave of disgust swept through him and he clenched his teeth in utter self-hatred. He was abominable; a real Vulcan would not have such thoughts about his student.
Nyota did not seem to notice his behavior for she sat down next to him, her scent wafting down with her and filling her nose. It was a scent he had come to associate only with her—her beautiful eyes, her lush lips, and her beatific smile. It calmed him and he slowly unclenched his hands. He glanced over at her and his heart leapt when he saw her smile aimed his way.
"Hm, you brought a blanket too? Oh, you think of everything." Her warm laugh made his stomach swoop and he nodded. He passed the blanket too her in silence and then pulled his own sweater over his body. Nyota threw the blanket over their legs and then hugged her knees to her chest.
"Not long now." She whispered.
"The sun will be rising in five minutes and forty-six seconds." Spock confirmed and settled his legs into the lotus position.
So they watched the sun rise through the fog and over the waves, it's light illuminating the gray world. As always Spock was captivated by the beauty of the phenomenon—none had ever said scientists couldn't find things beautiful. The fact that he knew why the sun's rays created such a variety of colors only increased his fascination.
The entire time he was acutely aware of the fact that Nyota's warm body was mere inches away from his, and if he had wished he could brush his fingers against the dark skin of her hand. It took all of his Vulcan restraint to stop from accidentally brushing her hand with his and in the end his training prevailed—just barely.
When it was over Spock stood up and brushed the sand off his uniform. He took a breath of the still brisk air and then bent to retrieve the blanket. Nyota stretched and then pushed herself to her feet. His sweater was much too big for her, seeming to swallow her up and his pants hung loosely from her slim waist.
Still Spock could not help admiring how beautiful she was and he felt a pang of possessiveness knowing that she was wearing his clothes. She shook out her arms and smiled at him.
"So, what shall we do next?" She asked, her voice singing happily. His lips twitched up in response to the delight he saw in her face.
"Whatever you wish, I must admit I have no experience in this matter." He looked away, slightly ashamed of his willful ignorance. Nyota laughed.
"No problem with that. I'm almost as inexperienced as you are. Hm, why don't we get some breakfast?" She suggested.
"That is agreeable as I have not consumed any nutrients today." Spock replied calmly.
"Neither have I. It's a plan." She smiled at him and then in a swift movement looped her arm around his. He pulled back slightly and she jumped back.
"Oh sorry! That was stupid of me, I forgot you don't like being touched. That was really stupid." She shook her head and clasped her hands behind her back, not looking at him. He raised an eyebrow.
"Although you are correct that Vulcan's prefer to avoid direct physical contact, I will not as you humans' say 'melt'." He replied, mildly amused.
Her eyes snapped to him and she gazed at him in wonder. "Was that a joke, Spock?"
He glanced away, "I do not joke. It was merely an observation." He replied dryly. She burst into laughter and he felt a surge of satisfaction. No one besides Pike had ever gotten his jokes before.
When she caught her breath she exclaimed, "That was actually very good!" She chuckled and then walked towards the Academy. He quickly kept pace and they walked in a companionable silence.
They were almost at the Academy when she spoke up, "Um Spock…we should probably change before we go eat. Otherwise people might get some odd ideas."
He glanced at her and realized that she was correct. Their current attire was quite suggestive to the imaginative mind. "I concur. Where would you like to eat, Nyota?"
She stopped walking and bit her lip, thinking. "Hm…well there is this pretty good breakfast place called Kally's. It's got a nice selection of all American foods as well many healthy vegetarian dishes."
Spock nodded, "Yes I know of it. Captain Pike introduced me to it when I was a Cadet."
Nyota looked at him excitedly, "Wait, you're good friends with Pike? You never told me that!"
Spock raised an eyebrow, "I did not see the need to."
Nyota slapped him on the shoulder. "Spock! I've been working with you for over a year and I've been rambling about being on the Enterprise since the moment I met you! Come on! Captain Pike is going to command the Enterprise!" She grinned, her eyes alight.
He blinked, "You have made your intentions to be on the Enterprise quite clear. However I was not aware that you wished to acquaint yourself with Captain Pike. I apologize for the oversight. I will introduce you to each other at the next possible opportunity." He replied quickly, trying to amend his mistake.
He was rewarded with a delighted grin. "Thanks! Now, we need to get changed. Meet you at Kally's in twenty minutes?"
Spock nodded, "Very well. You may return my sweater and pants then." She blushed and chuckled.
"Okay. See you." She waved at him and then sped off towards her dorms. Spock watched her go, her ponytail bouncing behind her, and then turned towards his own apartment.
He knew perfectly well that he should cancel the entire affair, that was he was doing was wrong. To be using the fact that she did not have a partner on this day for his own pleasure was utterly disgusting. He ought to turn himself in and resign his command right then. She was unwittingly placing herself in his company under the impression that his thoughts and feelings were completely professional—they weren't.
But he could bring himself to do it. It was as if some unseen force had taken over his body and was forcing him seek out her company more and more, making him want to be around her even when he knew that his thoughts about her were utterly repulsive.
So he returned to his room, changed into some of his more casual clothing—which Pike had insisted on buying him—and fetched his credit card. Then he went to the bathroom, washed his face, brushed his teeth and brushed his hair, all the while trying to quell the nervousness inside him. Would she find his attire agreeable, would she come to her senses and realize that she did not want to spend the day with him after all? He wouldn't blame her if she did; she deserved better than him. She deserved someone who could control his thoughts, who could return her smiles, and offer her the emotional support she needed.
Spock shook his head and stared at himself in the mirror. What was he thinking? She wasn't his! She never would be. She was just spending this day with him because her love was utterly blind and did not return her regard. He was merely a friendly substitute.
Spock closed his eyes briefly and then turned away from his reflection. He would allow himself to enjoy her company this day, but he promised himself to find out who she was in love with, and talk to the man until he saw sense. He needed to see her happy.
Over the course of the day Spock accompanied Nyota wherever she wished to go and complied with her every whim. The smiles she rewarded him with were all needed. For those hours that he was by her side he pushed aside his worries and troubled thoughts and focused on experiencing the moment.
At one point he did put his foot down, when she bought a pound of handmade chocolates and tried to persuade him to eat one. Although they smelled wonderful and made his mouth water he forcefully told her that he would not indulge himself. She pressed him for a reason and he reluctantly told her that chocolate inebriated Vulcan's.
She gaped and asked, "You know this from personal experience?" There was a twinkle in her eye that sent a shiver down his back.
Dreading her response he nodded, "My roommate from when I was a cadet once bought me a bar of Belgium chocolate as a practical joke. Somehow he came across the knowledge that chocolate was the equivalent of alcohol for Vulcans. I was willfully ignorant of this fact as you cannot even find chocolate on Vulcan. I consumed the entire bar. The results were 'priceless', or so my roommate proclaimed."
At that she almost fell over from laughing while he stood to the side, his ears a nice green and his cheeks burning. Still, he could not be mad at her, or contain the warm feeling that had been spreading through him the whole day. However after that she did not press him to eat the chocolates, instead munching on them happily herself.
By the time dinner came around both were tiring and decided to have a quick meal before retiring to their own quarters. After dinner he walked her back to her room.
He stopped outside her door and waited uncomfortably as she unlocked her door. The thought of stepping into her room and admitting his love. But he quickly tossed the idea out the window as absolutely ludicrous. Her door slid open and she turned to face him.
Her expression was somber and her eyes darker than before. He clasped his hands behind his back and waited. She was silent a moment then she stepped up to him and hugged him.
He blinked in shock but found that the feel of her arms around his chest was not at all unpleasant. Hesitantly he brought up his own hands and placed them behind her shoulders gingerly. She moved her face and glanced up into his eyes. A smile played along her lips and his lips twitched up.
"Thanks for everything Spock. Today was really fun." She closed her eyes and then stepped out of his grasp. He immediately missed the feel of her body against his. He cleared his throat softly and she glanced at him, a blush forming across her cheeks.
"No thanks are necessary Nyota." He replied gently, wishing that he could be the one she was in love with and knowing it would never be.
Nyota smiled and nodded. Then she turned, her hair flying around her and falling back to cover her shoulders. Spock took a deep breath and then called out, "Wait. Nyota."
She glanced back, her expression unreadable. He shifted uncomfortably. "I have one request."
She blinked and nodded. "Yes?"
Spock licked his lips and then said the last thing he wanted to say, but the thing he knew he had to say, "Tell the man you are in love with that you love him. I am sure he returns the sentiment."
He could glance away as her eyes widened and she smiled. "Okay, I will. Thanks for the encouragement Spock."
Spock nodded as he stomach dropped and his heart ached. He was simply a replacement, he would always be a replacement. "No thanks are needed, once again. Sleep well Nyota."
He nodded to her and then turned away, not being able to bear the pain of seeing her and knowing she was someone else's anymore. He walked away, slowly and barely missed the "Good night Spock!" that she shouted after him.
Yes, he would have a good night--on his meditation mat, trying to meditate away the vision of her face from his mind; trying to meditate away his love for her. He already knew it was a hopeless cause.
Nyota watched him go, her heart beating faster and faster. She turned away, ran to her personal PADD, opened it up and quickly sent a short, four letter, message. Then she waited, her heart in her mouth and butterflies flying through her veins.
Spock opened his door and walked over to his desk. He turned on his PADD, intent on finishing a few papers before meditating. It beeped at him, informing him he had a new message. It must be Captain Pike, or his mother. With a small Vulcan sigh he opened the message and sank to the floor in utter shock.
The message read: Spock, I love you.
It was from Nyota. Spock's eyes ran over the message over and over again, but it wasn't disappearing. It wasn't an illusion. It was real.
Spock jumped to his feet, deposited the PADD unceremoniously on the desk and sprinted out his door. He was at her door in seconds. It opened the moment he knocked and there she was, in the dress she'd been wearing that day, her arms crossed over her chest. His eyes found hers.
"Is it true?" he breathed, needing confirmation.
She gulped and nodded. Spock's heart soared and he stepped in her door, swept her off her feet, and pulled her into his chest.
She laughed and reached up behind his head. She looked him the eye and then pressed her lips to his. He was lost in the tide of emotions that swept through him and his lips pulled up into his first ever real smile as he kissed her back.
She was his. He was hers. For real.
So ya, I realize it's a bit more melancholy than my usual writing. Sorry--this holiday is rather depressing for me since I have no love of my own.
I hope all of you have a great Valentine's Day with your partners, or if you are single like me, I hope you spend your days happily =)
Reviews=love