A/N; Just a little one shot. I was watching Silence In The Library/ Forest of the Dead the other day and caught myself wondering how River Song would be feeling when she finds out the Doctor doesn't know who she is, and then when she's sitting on the chair, about to die. Anyway, Enjoy!

I had never given much thought to how exactly I would die. But I knew that I would give my life without a second thought for the man I love. Women back home laugh at me, say I'm weak, brainwashed even, but they've never met him. Because for the last decade or so, human time, he's left me behind.

At one point we travelled together, Song and Smith, the whole universe at our fingertips, anywhere, anytime to go. It was amazing. I saw so many things, I learnt so many things, I saw whole civilisations saved, enemies seen off, armies turn and flee at the sight or sound of his name...

The Doctor.

Some things are just so having to put up with. Like an annoying bloke, a human rich bloke, going on about everything and anything that upsets and annoys him, mostly me. Mr Lux is funding this expedition, and that's the only reason I'm pretending to listen to him, he's not very clever, has no background experience, and no friends. Apart from Miss Evangelista, but then, she is paid to like him.

"I'm sorry Mr lux, but we need to initiate landing protocols, so if you could just make sure Miss Evangelista finds her correct seat and doesn't touch anything she shouldn't it would be much appreciated," I interrupt him mid flow about Lord-Knows-What.

He takes the hint though. Anita winks at me and rolls her eyes, as if to say, Thank God he's stopped!. Proper Dave takes the main control position, but we all have our jobs, although we have learnt not to trust Miss Evangelista with anything that might save our lives... or the code to the escape pod for that matter.

We're an archaeological expedition to discover what happened at The Library 100 years ago, I told Lux that we were the only exped going, yet I have reason to believe that there might be another "expedition" about to arrive.

Before we left, I sent him a message, on the psychic paper, telling him to meet me at the library as soon as possible; he'll know who it's from. And I have no doubts that he'll not come, he always comes when I call, he promised me he always would.

"Initiate landing protocols" I command, flicking my switches and watching the screen, watching the numbers scroll downwards. Docking would normally only take a few moments, but the equipment here's ancient, it was top model when the place was first built, but that was over 100 years ago now! So it takes much longer than usual.

There's someone here, just stood, in the middle of the room, a tight fitting brown suit on, and a big brown overcoat, it's the way he looks though, like he's just figured something out that could kill everyone and everything in its path.

It's him.

My heart thuds, missing a beat swiftly, I never doubted him, but I can't stop the little voice in my head that's screaming with relief "He's here!"

There's another woman with him, one I've never seen him with before, but I'm not worried. Why should I be, he's mine, packaged and sealed.

"Hello Sweetie"

He had warned me that he might be a bit off, and I know that my timing with the psychic is pretty shocking, so I actually have no idea where we stand at the moment, although I have never seen him looking like this before. He looks young, absolutely lush and very "cool". I'd have to do diaries soon.

He looks angry.

He has no idea who I am!

Diaries, my most important possession, I won't go anywhere without it. To be honest though, I've almost run out of space, probably enough room for one more adventure.

He doesn't know me.

I sent him a message, but it came too soon.

He doesn't look at me. He looks through me.

He's not my Doctor, not the man I love and the man I travelled with.

He's someone else, and he doesn't trust me. That hurts. It hurts more than I ever thought it would. I knew there would come a time where I got it wrong. Now I have, and its killing me.

I'm not allowed to tell him. But how can I not?

I need him.

I had never given much thought to how exactly I would die. But I knew that I would give my life without a second thought for the man I love. Women back home laugh at me, say I'm weak, brainwashed even, but they've never met him. Because for the last decade or so, human time, he's left me behind.

Now I know how I'm going to die. Without hesitation, a smile on my face, watching him come round from my "heck of a right hook" as he dubbed it after we first met.

I want to laugh at the look on his face.

I have to make sure that this is ready before the countdown is finished; it's our only hope, Donna's only hope.

He told me about her, the woman who saves the universe, the woman who saves him.

He never kept secrets from me; he said he learnt that you should never keep this sort of secret after Rose found out that he had had other companions before her.

It's funny, but I never thought I would die to protect my future. I'm selfish I know, but I don't want my past to change because he decides to blot himself out with one of his selfless, proud, stupid ideas.

"Why do you even have handcuffs?" he blurts, positioned on the floor so he cannot stop me, both screwdrivers and the diary for him after. A remembrance.

I'm bought back by the Doctor's confusion as to why I have handcuffs on my person.

Well, he wouldn't know, would he? He's not my Doctor.

"Spoilers." I say, suggestively raising my eyebrows at him.

I have to keep talking, I don't want to let him see just how much I am trying to cling to life.

"But this means you always knew how I died." I find myself saying, "The last time I saw you, the real you, the future you, you turned up on my doorstep with a new haircut and a new suit. You took me to see the singing towers. The towers sang, and you cried. You wouldn't tell me why, but I guess you knew it was my time, my time to come to the library, you even gave me your screwdriver, that should have been a clue."

I'm crying now. So much for hiding my feelings. Even through my tears I can see his face, contorted in pain, as if I was physically wounding him.

"It's ok!" I breathe, leaning forward to comfort him, "It's not over for you-"-It is for me-"-you'll see me again!"

The last thing that I'll see before I die is him; The Doctor.

His name, forming on my lips as I lift the headpiece onto my head, and push the two sockets together, connecting the circuit.

His name is....

A white light....

It's over.

Doctor....

A/N Sorry if peeps get annoyed for the lack of the ending scene in the mansion/CALs world, but I thought this would be better if it ended here. Also sorry for the lack of accuracy in the speech by River Song at the end. Please R&R, if you want to, but I love that episode, makes me cry every time I watch it coz she dies to save him and her future.