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Two months passed by slowly. Every minute that passed Faith felt. Every day that passed felt longer than the last. The more time that went on, the more she thought about her life, her relationship with Leah, her dreams with Buffy, and that tender kiss they'd shared before Buffy had left. It felt better than anything in their dreams, it felt real, and going back to their dreams after that had felt different. She saw her almost every night, their dreams becoming more passionate, more heated, with every one that came and went. And in those two months she'd sat and thought about what she was going to do when she wasn't dreaming and the answer always came up exactly the same.

She had no idea what she was going to do. A bigger part of her knew that staying there was the best thing she could do for herself. She'd just begun to move on from Leah, from the heartache she felt. She wanted to run to Buffy knowing Buffy's arms would be wide open and waiting for her, but it still felt too soon and too late.

Christmas was just around the corner and like every year, she'd spent her birthday, the day before, alone with a bottle of cheap whiskey. Angel had been the only one to call her to wish her a happy birthday. She felt a little down on herself, and then remembered that nobody else, not even Xander, knew when her birthday was. Nobody else knew she was just shy of a month older than Buffy either. It was one of those things she never felt comfortable telling anyone about, just like when it came to not talking about her childhood.

"Faith?" Angel called out as he let himself in the front door. The sun had set about two hours before and she lay sprawled out on the couch in the living room, a half empty bottle of whiskey gripped tightly in her hands as she fought off sleep.

"Hey," she mumbled as Angel walked into the living room. "What brings you here?"

"Came to see how you're doing. After yesterday's phone call I figured you could use some company tonight."

She shrugged as she managed to sit up on the couch and watched as Angel slipped off his coat and sat down next to her. "I'm not gonna off myself or anything if that's what you're thinking."

"Nah," he chuckled as he threw an arm around her shoulders. "You are too strong and you love life too much to get that far down the barrel again. Besides, you've got people in your life that would never let you harm yourself."

"Yeah, like who?"

"Myself, for one. Xander, Buffy, Dawn...shall I go on?"

"Please don't."

Angel laughed as he took the bottle from her hands and placed it on the coffee table next to the ashtray that was overflowing with cigarette butts. "Anything on TV tonight?"

"Angel, I know you came to check up on me. You're here for another reason. Spit it out."

"I've gotten numerous of phone calls from Xander and Buffy, mostly Buffy. Have you purposely been ignoring them?"

"Took the phone off the hook a few days ago. Needed some peace and quiet."

"But you had it on yesterday."

"Only cos I knew you'd call," she smirked as she leaned forward and grabbed the bottle of whiskey. "Do you want a drink?"

"No," Angel replied with a shake of his head and look of disgust. "Anyway, the reason I'm actually here is to convince you to go to Cleveland..."

"No."

"Just for Christmas, Faith. Two weeks. You'll be back after New Years."

"And let me guess," she said and paused to take a swig from the bottle, "you are gonna pay for my flight out there and back?"

"Yeah. I am."

"And when do you expect me to leave?"

Angel looked over at the clock on the wall for a moment before looking back at her. "In about four hours, give or take. You might want to try and sober up and pack some clothes. Warm clothes."

"Dude, I know how cold Cleveland is in December," she scowled as she stood up quickly and nearly slammed the bottle down on the coffee table. "They sent you here, didn't they?"

"Buffy asked if I could get you on the plane tonight. After I spoke with her, Giles and I had a very long discussion about your...future placement."

"I'm not moving."

Faith stormed off to the bedroom and pulled out her duffel bag from the closet and began packing her warmest clothes. She was a little tipsy and despite her attitude, she was excited to go to Cleveland for Christmas. She didn't want to spend it alone, not like she liked to spend her birthdays alone.

"Faith, I should explain what Giles meant when he was talking about your future placement."

"Fine, whatever. Explain," Faith shrugged him off as she pulled out a couple of hoodies from the back of the closet and shoved them into the bag.

"Buffy wants to come back here. Giles wasn't sure whether she'd be on her own, if she'd come stay in LA for awhile, or if she'd come stay here with you."

"With me?" Faith asked as she turned to look at him. "You're kidding right?"

"No."

"We aren't even together, we're barely even friends. Why the hell would we want to live together?"

"Because you two are in love with each other and you are acting like you are scared shitless of even trying to take the first step," he replied as he walked over to the bed and sat down. "What are you so afraid of? You've moved on from Leah, haven't you?"

"I have. I think. Hurts less now than it did a couple weeks ago."

"But what are you afraid of, Faith?"

"I don't know! Everything!"

"It's rather funny, actually," Angel chuckled as he watched Faith begin to pace back and forth around the room. "I spent over two hours on the phone with Buffy last night and she was talking about how afraid she was of being with you. You know what she's afraid of the most?"

"What?"

"That this is it. That this will be 'it'."

"It as in…what, exactly?"

"You know what I'm talking about," Angel said seriously. "It as in 'the one', soul mates, etcetera."

Faith stopped pacing and felt her whole body shaking slightly as she let those words sink in. She knew he was right. She'd been thinking that a lot over the past couple of months and as much as it scared her, she wanted it. She wanted Buffy. She wanted her to actually be there instead of just seeing her nearly every night in her dreams. She wanted to know what it really felt like to hold her, to fall asleep in her arms and wake up with her every morning. She wanted to spend the days with her, cook her breakfast and then a late dinner. She wanted to shower her with affection and love. She wanted everything she never had and she wanted it only to be with Buffy.

She began pacing again, stopping every couple of steps to try to collect her thoughts. No matter what she did, the only thing she could think of was Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. If she wasn't in love with her, she'd call herself obsessed, infatuated. She stopped pacing to look over at a smug looking Angel and thanked the Powers that Be that he couldn't read her mind.

"What?" Faith snapped at him as she backed up and leaned against the dresser. "Come on. Tell me what you're thinking right now."

He shrugged listlessly as he fought back the smirk. "Nervous, are you?" He asked as she lifted herself onto the dresser and crossed her arms over her chest, unimpressed with the way he was acting. "I think you are downright nervous about seeing her again."

"Why would I be nervous? I see her nearly every night in our dreams."

"Because it's different out here in the real world for you," he pointed out and smiled a little at her when she sighed in agreement. "You both deserve your shot at happiness and if it's together, then you two should make it happen. So what if you're scared, you are scared because you know this will be it. That she is the one."

"You honestly don't feel weird that we're talking about this?" She asked him and he quickly shook his head no. "And what happened to you telling me to give up hope that it'd ever happen between me and B?"

"She came back and then the thing with Leah, well," he chuckled softly and shook his head. "If I tell you I saw it coming with Leah, you won't be pissed at me, will you?"

"You kinda just did."

"I wanted to tell you about her," he said as he stood up and walked over to her, staring at her wearily as she picked up her stake and fingered the sharp edge. "I kept thinking I was wrong, that I wanted to find something wrong with her as much as you did."

"So, all that crap you spouted while I was with her was just crap then?"

"No. Not all of it anyway."

"You know," Faith sighed as she ran the tip of the stake over the dresser before tossing it aside, "this so isn't helping me feel less fucking conflicted about everything."

"Then tell me something. What is it that you really want more than anything, Faith?"

"Buffy."

"And would you be willing to do anything for her?"

"Of course I..."

"Then give up on trying to do what you think is right and actually do the right thing."

"Which would be? Help me out here, Angel. Throw me a fucking bone here!"

"You know what I'm going to say."

"Cleveland," she stated, closing her eyes as she brought her fingers to her temples and began to rub them slowly, trying to ward off the headache she could feel building. "What the fuck am I gonna do in Cleveland?"

"Help out there, do your own thing, do Buffy perhaps?" He smirked and winced in pain as Faith slugged him hard in the shoulder. "Just think about it, Faith. You've been wallowing in self-pity here for the last two months and I know it isn't just because of what happened with Leah."

"I know. Fuck, Angel. Why do you gotta always be right about everything?"

"Because I'm wiser and a hell of a lot older than you?"

"So, Cleveland?" Faith shrugged as she leaned back against the mirror and looked over at him. "What about the house?"

"Vacation home. Somewhere to come and get away from those harsh winters. Nice little place to escape to and everyone needs a place like that."

"You aren't going to give me a choice, are you?"

"Buffy isn't going to give you a choice. Believe me, if I could give you a choice I would, but I sort of promised her I'd talk you into it since you won't talk to her now. Just go there for two weeks, spend Christmas with everyone and think about it."

"What about you?"

"I can handle things around here just fine. It's been nice having you around for backup; I can count on you. But you know they need all the help they can get in Cleveland right now and they need more than one leader there, too."

"More than one? They have a leader now?"

"Buffy kind of stepped into the role once she arrived there. She didn't tell you?"

"We don't talk shop in our dreams or the few times she's called me," Faith replied with a wiggle of her eyebrows, knowing how much it'd bother Angel with the images that gave him. "You gonna just sit there or are you gonna give me a hand at packing?"

Angel shrugged and helped her pack up a few more things before she went around the house unplugging everything and making sure all the windows and doors were locked. After a quick trip to store the weapons she had lying around the house in the wardrobe, she and Angel walked out of the house and down to his car. He drove just outside of town and came to a stop at the side of the road. Faith, half asleep, looked at him in confusion with heavy lidded eyes.

"I thought we were gonna go to the airport?"

"Willow express," he chuckled as he got out of the car and grabbed her bag out of the backseat. "I forgot to tell you, but she's perfected the teleporting spell. Unfortunately she's only able to do it from one location around here."

"And let me guess," Faith groaned as she stood outside the car and looked over at Angel, "it's right here, isn't it?"

Angel nodded as he took out his cell and sent a text quickly. He handed her bag to her and gave her an impish smile as he stepped back a couple of feet. She closed her eyes, having heard that teleporting was a rather trippy experience, and waited.

****

She hadn't expected to fall into a dream, and yet, there she was in the last place she and Buffy had been. On the beach with the sun shining and not a single cloud in the sky. This was where she felt happiest, free. She was there alone this time, but it didn't bother. Much.

She stretched out on the blanket, feeling the sun warm her skin. She wondered how the hell she landed in a dream in the middle of being teleported halfway across the country. Maybe she blacked out, maybe she hit her head when she landed and was unconscious. Whatever happened, she wasn't about to complain. The feeling of serenity that surrounded her was enough to keep her from asking herself too many questions she knew she just couldn't answer.

And just as quickly as she'd fallen into the dream, she could feel her body and her mind begin to wake up ever so slowly.

****

"Hey," Buffy smiled down at her as she ran her fingers over the obvious bump on her forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"I was...what happened?"

"You fell face first on the driveway when Willow teleported you here. I don't think she's perfected it as well as she likes to believe she has," Buffy chuckled as Faith sat up slowly and looked around the dark room. "You're on the couch in the living room."

"Nice," she groaned as she slowly sat up and ran her own hand over the bump on her forehead. "Great, that's gonna take a couple days to go down."

She couldn't take her eyes off of Buffy. Even in the darkness of the room, with the streetlight barely streaming in the big window, she had never seen her look more beautiful that she did in that moment. She didn't want to wait any longer to kiss her and she leaned in slowly, already feeling Buffy blush a little before their lips met. It was soft and sweet at first until Faith needed more. She pulled Buffy onto her lap, groaning softly when she quickly moved to straddle her legs. Buffy took the next step, deepening the kiss as Faith trailed her hands down her back slowly.

"I'm not dreaming still, am I?" Faith asked softly, her lips still against Buffy's as her hands wandered to the edge of her shirt. "Tell me I'm not still dreaming."

"You aren't dreaming," she whispered as she pulled back a little and smiled. "I'm so glad you are here, Faith. I was driving myself insane just wanting you here with me. The dreams just aren't enough anymore."

"I know."

"I figure Angel has talked to you already?"

"Yeah," she smiled a little as she ran the tips of her fingers under the hem of Buffy's shirt, feeling the goose bumps form along her skin. "I'm gonna think about it, okay?"

"I won't pressure you," Buffy whispered as she leaned back in and kissed her lightly. "But I can't promise you I won't try to persuade you. I have two weeks."

"Two weeks to do what exactly?"

"Show you just what it'd be like if you stayed."

"And how are you planning to do that?" Faith asked, eyebrow raised, as Buffy ran her fingers over her jaw slowly. "B?"

"I'm gonna tie you to my bed," she chuckled as she leaned in for yet another kiss. "Then I'm going to show you what it feels like to be completely worshipped, head to toe. Then I'm going to show you what it feels like to be loved, fully and completely. Are you okay with that?"

"Fuck yeah."

"And if it's okay with you, I'd like to start tonight."

"Great," Faith breathed out sharply as Buffy trailed her right hand down across her chest, her fingers straying dangerously close to her already aching nipples. "Can we start right now? Just for the record, B, you don't need to tie me to your bed, although I do like a little bit of kink every now and then."

"There's just one thing," Buffy said as she dropped her hand, much to Faith's dismay. "I don't want to jump into this despite what my body is trying to tell me right now."

"What's it telling you?"

"It wants you to touch me, kiss me," she whispered and leaned in to run her tongue along the underside of her ear before continuing, "it wants your lips and tongue all over me and in me."

Faith moaned softly, feeling her own body react to her words and the visuals that came with them. She couldn't jump into it, they both couldn't. Buffy was right despite how much their bodies craved each other. For now all she wanted to do was continue kissing Buffy as she was quickly realizing just how much more addictive it was outside of their dreams. It still felt surreal to be sitting there with Buffy astride her, her lips and tongue possessing her as hands began to wander over and then under her shirt.

She wasn't sure how alone they were there in the living room. Over the rapid beating of her heart and the heavy breathing between the two of them, she couldn't hear anything else in the house. They had to have been alone since Buffy took things just one step further and unbuttoned her jeans, fumbling unsurely at first, and becoming more daring as Faith moaned into her mouth and manoeuvred them so Buffy lay on her back on the couch with Faith hovering slightly over her.

"This is you taking things slow?" Faith groaned, pulling back from the kiss as Buffy's fingers lingered just above her panties. "B?"

"This is me giving in to what I want," she whispered, her eyes staring intensely into Faith's as she ran her fingers over the waistband of her panties slowly. "Is that okay with you?"

"You...shouldn't we...upstairs?" Faith was at loss for words as Buffy slid her hand inside her panties, her fingernails scraping the skin gently as she inched downwards. "Buffy?"

"We're alone," she whispered against her lips and bit her own as her fingers dipped lower, barely touching her, yet able to feel the pool of wetness that gathered there because of her. "I'd take this upstairs, but they'll all be back in an hour and what I want to do with you will take much longer than an hour."

"So, you're settling on...fucking me right here?" Faith breathed out as Buffy's fingers slid ever so slowly over her already aching clit. It'd been far too long since she'd been touched by hands other than her own.

"Mm-hmm."

"I...fuck," she sighed out contently as Buffy slid a single solitary finger slowly inside of her. Not one to just receive, she held herself over Buffy with one hand and with the other she fumbled with the button on Buffy's jeans, skilfully managing to get them undone in just a few seconds.

Their lips met in a bruising, passionate kiss as Faith wasted no time in thrusting a finger deep inside of Buffy's hot, wet hole. She almost came just feeling her, feeling the heat coming from her, but she held it back, not wanting to come so soon. When she woke up that morning she never once thought that this was how her day would end up, at least not there in reality. She ignored the throbbing pain from the bump on her forehead as she rolled her hips in time to Buffy's thrusting finger, wanting to beg her for more, but feeling satisfied enough with just one slender finger fucking her exactly the way she liked it.

"Who knew those dreams would come in so handy," she murmured against Buffy's lips, not fully aware she was speaking her thoughts out loud. They both shared a soft laugh before Faith captured Buffy's lips with her own once again.

They didn't stop until they came together and Faith struggled to hold herself up over Buffy as she slipped her hand out from inside her panties, bringing her fingers to her lips as she parted from the kiss. With a rather lascivious grin, she licked Buffy's secretions off of her fingers, moaning in pleasure at finally being able to taste her.

"You taste so good," Faith whispered as she moved her hand back down slowly, coming to rest on Buffy's hip. "You sure we can't take this upstairs? There's plenty we can do in less than an hour."

"I..."

"I want you naked, writhing beneath me, B. I want to taste every inch of you and feel you come against my tongue. After this, right here and now, I need all of you."

"Faith..."

"I don't care if we're jumping into this cos honestly, B? If you do the math, dreams or not, we've been together for five fucking years. In my head, that means we got a lot of fucking to catch up on in real time. The dreams were purely amazing and it makes me wonder just how much more it'd be to have you for real."

"I'm...nervous," she whispered and it made Faith laugh. "Don't laugh, Faith! I mean, we just...you know, but the whole rest of everything, especially the naked parts, make me really nervous right now."

"Why?"

"Because aside from being with you that way in our dreams, I've never..."

"Babe," Faith smiled softly as she ran the tips of her fingers over Buffy's lips. "It's just like our dreams, only better. You just do whatever feels right, just like you did a couple minutes ago. Fuck, B. I haven't come that hard outside of our dreams in...shit, I can't even remember. I don't even think I've come that hard before with anyone and definitely not that quick either."

Buffy blushed deeply as she turned her head and looked away from her. Faith couldn't help but let a small laugh escape as she moved off of her and quickly buttoned up her jeans just as the front door opened. Buffy sat up quickly, eyes wide in shock as she fumbled to button up her own jeans.

"Shit, they said they wouldn't be back until after eleven!"

"B..."

"Oh god, I look like I've just...oh god," she groaned as she got up from the couch and ran upstairs.

Faith smirked as she sat back down on the couch and laid back. It was definitely going to be a very interesting two weeks and she already knew that by the time it came for her to go back home she wouldn't want to leave. She just closed her eyes, feeling a sense of home wash over her all of a sudden. It wasn't because of what she'd just done with Buffy, it was just the feel of where she was and the familiar voices of those she hadn't seen in far too long. Even just hearing Dawn and Xander made her feel like this was where she belonged.

Where she should have been all along.

****

For two weeks she spent almost all her time with Buffy at her side. She felt like she was floating on cloud nine with every touch, every kiss, even with every look they shared between them. She had easily opened her heart completely to Buffy, finding it easier to do than she could have ever imagined it to be. Buffy had opened herself up to Faith too, and she knew that from this point on that they would have something real between them, something so strong that it wasn't going to be broken. Not even in death.

Yeah, she had it bad and she was in so deep, yet she loved that feeling instead of loathing it. She embraced the love she felt from Buffy and gave it right back to her. The comments from those around them never bothered either of them. Nothing could break that little happy bubble they'd planted themselves into.

She refused Willow's offer to teleport her back to California, not wanting to experience another mild concussion any time soon. Buffy offered to come back with her to help her pack up her things, but with an impending and still rather unknown apocalypse, Buffy needed to stay behind. The morning before her flight they spent the entire day cooped up in Buffy's room, their room, just holding one another, kissing one another, and whispering sweet nothings as they made love like it was the last time they'd see each other for months. In reality Faith would only be gone for three days, but in both their minds three days would feel like months after the last two weeks they'd spent together completely inseparable.

She stood in the middle of her living room and looked around at the boxes spread out over the floor and already packed. She had wasted no time in getting her things into the boxes she'd picked up on the way home from the airport. She was just waiting for Angel to come by before she caught the red eye flight back to Cleveland in the morning.

"Knock, knock," Angel said as he let himself in the front door. "Damn, so I'm guessing you called me here to tell me in person that you're moving out?"

"And to say goodbye, for now."

"Goodbye sounds too final, don't you think?" Angel said with a smile as he gave her a quick yet tight hug. "What made you decide to move there?"

"Buffy."

"How'd she manage to do that?"

"You really have to ask me that?" Faith chuckled as she walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. "You want a beer?"

"I'm good."

"Anything interesting happen in the last couple of weeks without me?"

"Define interesting," Angel replied as he leaned against the counter. Faith shrugged as she twisted off the beer cap and waited for him to continue. "Okay, well...I know you won't want to hear this, but I heard a little rumbling that the guy Leah was sleeping with, her boss...his fiancée refuses to leave him. She comes from money, so they've been trying to pay Leah to have an abortion even though it's much too late."

"Damn."

"She came to see me yesterday," Angel said softly as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Turns out she'd come by here looking for you. My guess? She wanted you to take her back. I told her you were in Cleveland spending Christmas with Buffy and her family."

"What'd she say?"

"She wanted to know if you and Buffy were together."

"And you told her...what exactly?"

"That you are with Buffy now."

"Good," Faith chuckled. "I don't know what I would have done if I was here when Leah came by. Probably would have done something stupid like allow myself to forgive her and take her back. I probably would have if Buffy hadn't come back when she did."

"You loved her, didn't you?"

"A little bit more than I'd like to admit, yeah," she nodded and took a sip of her beer, "I did love her. Hell, I even was a little bit in love with her. Is that even possible?"

"To be just a little bit in love? Sure."

"It'd never come close to what I feel for Buffy. There's just something so...right about the way I feel about Buffy despite our past. And yes, we did work through it and decided to leave our past where it belonged and focus on the now."

"What about the future?"

"Taking it one day at a time, Angel. Isn't that what you've been telling me for the past five years? Just take my life one day at a time and never worry about what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow?"

"So, you were listening to me all those times?"

"I'm not as stubborn as I may appear to be."

"Sure you are," Angel chuckled as he walked over to the fridge and took out a beer. "Guess I could stick around and have a few with you. Who knows when we'll see each other next?"

"Probably every other weekend, but it'll vary depending on whatever current apocalypse decides to come along."

"Pesky apocalypses," Angel smirked as they raised their bottles and clinked the necks together. "Let me ask you something," he said as they headed out to sit out back. "You knew shortly after you got there that you were going to stay, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Just, I don't know how to explain it, but everything about it there felt like home. It didn't feel like that when I went there before, but I think I know why."

"Buffy wasn't there," Angel finished for her. "She's an amazing woman, Faith."

"I know."

"You are too," he smiled as they sat down on the back steps together. "I feel like I've watched one of my own grow, mature, and finally find herself. I almost know what it's like to feel like a proud father right now. You know, without actually being a father."

"I know. I'm gonna miss you," she said as she fought back the tears. "I know what you're gonna say. You are just a phone call away, just like you've always been. Only difference is now I'm gonna be in a completely different time zone. Driving for an hour doesn't quite compare to sitting on a plane for…what was it, five hours?"

"Something like that. Why didn't you get Willow to teleport you back?"

"Funny story," Faith laughed as she rubbed her forehead. "Landed in the driveway when she brought me there. Face first. Passed the fuck out and woke up to Buffy right there looking down at me. Felt like one of our dreams, you know? A part of me is wondering if I am still dreaming, if maybe I'm in a coma again."

"But you aren't."

"I know that. It just feels so surreal."

"You're happy, that's why it feels surreal. And don't you dare feed me a line of bullshit and tell me that you don't deserve to have happiness because you do. You always have deserved it and you always will despite any of the mistakes you've made and will continue to make in your life."

She put her beer down on the counter and threw her arms around him. "Thanks, Angel. I feel like for everything you've done for me that I owe you my life."

"You don't owe me anything, Faith. The only thing I want is for you to just live your life happy and know what it's like to live it being loved by a wonderful woman. Do you ever wonder what made you who you are today?"

"What?"

"You and learning how to have faith in yourself," he smiled as he pulled away from Faith's tight embrace. "I think a lot of it has to do with the dreams you've been having. You learned how to love that way. It all makes sense now when I think about it."

He was right. He was always right. She cursed silently, smiling widely at him as she grabbed her beer and took a sip.

In her dreams she'd found love and she also found herself. She'd been through many ups and downs in her life and it all led her to where she was now. Everything always came back to Buffy, too; she could see that now, and she was no longer going to fight it, nor would she deny it. What was the point? She knew the truth and it'd only taken her five years of being with Buffy nearly every night in her dreams to realize just what real love actually was.

And if what she felt was really was real, she knew it couldn't get any more real than it already was.

And if she was dreaming, she never wanted to wake up.

****

The End