Author Notes: What's this? Another fanfic, when I have others unfinished? I'm just a writing machine. This is The Crazy Cullens 3 - Not as funny as the first but funnier than the second!

I'm writing this because I like writing funny things and I enjoy making you guys laugh! Beware of OOC. Each chapter will have a different theme.

Disclaimer: These things are pointless - We all know I don't own twilight.

The Crazy Cullens 3
Chapter One
Nightmares

"Edward." Emmett said for the millionth time. "Edward. Edward. Edward. Eddie. Eddie. Eddie. Ed. Ed. Ed. Edward…" Edward was gripping the steering wheel, grinding his teeth. Not only was Emmett repeating his name out loud; he was thinking it.

Edward drove even faster towards home, not paying attention to the road. He really didn't need to pay attention.

"Edward! Edward! EDWARD!" Emmett said, desperately. "EDWARD! WATCH OUT!" There was a cow staring at them. What was a cow doing in the middle of the road, in the middle of forks where there are no farms around? Edward swerved and skidded to a stop.

The cow looked at the now stopped Volvo. "Moo," He mooed before finishing crossing the street.

"Ed, I think that cow had a death wish for a second."

"I think so too, Em." Edward replied.

"Moo…" The cow bellowed at them. He did not appreciated being talked about. A cow always knew when they were being talked about.

The two vampires shrugged and decided to leave the cow alone. Neither of them wanted to take the chance of draining a cow and get mad cow disease from the blood and become ill and worry Esme and have Carlisle go crazy trying to find some cure.

Though Edward thought Carlisle would like the challenge. He glanced at his brother. "Emmett? I dare you to drink the cow's blood." Edward knew Emmett wouldn't be able to refuse a dare.

"Absolutely not." Emmett said. "Mad Cow is going around. I don't want to catch it. Rosie would be most displeased with me." Edward couldn't believe it. Emmett Cullen refused a dare.

Edward drove home. Slowly the cow followed and the two vampires had no idea they were being followed by a stalker cow.

By the time they got home the cow was already there. Edward was getting sort of freaked out. The two looked closer to the cow and saw that it had red eyes, no beating heart and sharp teeth. The clouds parted for a second causing the animal to sparkle.

"No way."

"Edward…" The cow said. "I'm going to kill you." It charged at the bronze-haired boy. And the world around him turned black as he was rammed hard by the big animals.

Edward jerked awake from the nightmare. His feverish green eyes frantically looked around the hospital. "Mother!" He cried out and instantly felt cool hands on his forehead. He looked at the doctor caring for him. "Dr. Cullen…"

"It's alright son. You just had a bad dream. It's the fever." The blonde haired doctor reassured him. He soothed the dying 17-year-old until he was unconscious again, his breathing labored. He didn't have long, just a few hours perhaps left in him.

Carlisle turned his attention to the boy's mother. She was getting worse. "Help him! You must save him! Do what others cannot do for my Edward!" Carlisle took her hand and promised her. An hour later the woman was dead. Carlisle picked up her chart and marked down the time before wheeling her to the morgue.

The doctor came back for Edward and stole him away into the night. He laid the boy down on a bed in his home and smoothed out the hair before biting him in the same manner he was hundreds of years ago.

***

End Notes: This fic probably wont be updated as often. I want to finish "Punk'd: The Fallout" and I would like to write another snippet from "Growing Pains" and I just have so many ideas running through my head! I really like to write!

Anyways, Review please :D