Disclaimer: I own nothing.

So, yeah. The last couple seasons of Gilmore Girls just sucked. So, I decided on rewriting some of its... weaker moments. Just before you start reading, you should know that I'm pro Luke/Lorelai and Jess/Rory. I know the pairings can get a little... incestuous, but I love 'em. What can I do? Anyway, I'm not that great at writing about anyone else, but I'll try my best. I just don't want to try and end up making it sound cynical or sarcastic. =P

PS: Never, ever writing about Narcolepsy Boy in a friendly manner. Either I'm very sorry or you're very welcome.

Why not just start with the big one?

Review and you have my undying love! Well, that was a lie. It would die pretty quickly... only a fact of life. You can't buy unconditional love with one review. So... review and you have my temporary love. (Review many times and you'll have my temporary love often)

Paradox

He Doesn't Like Ultimatums

By I.M.

I had thought Lorelai was in trouble. I couldn't find her. I couldn't reach her. And then, I see her walking down the street towards me and a wave of relief hits me. I let out a breath and walk towards her. When I got closer, I realized that I was right: she was in trouble. I could see her blue, frantic eyes silently begging me for something. I just didn't know what. Really, it didn't matter to me. I couldn't say no to her anyway.

Lorelai took a deep breath and said, "Let's elope."

"What?" I asked, shocked.

"Come on, Luke. Grab your keys. Let's go."

"Elope?"

"You said that would be fine at Martha's Vineyard. Didn't you say that would be fine at Martha's Vineyard?"

"Yes, I did. I'm just…"

"Come on, then! Let's go! We can drive to Maryland. What the hell, right? I mean, you have to see Maryland eventually. We can drive there, get married, and then come back here. And you'll get your stuff, and you'll move in."

"Okay, hold on."

"I mean we have the plan already, right? We just have to put the plan in motion."

"Let's calm down. We don't have to figure all this out now, do we?"

"Yes, we do, because we've been waiting and putting it off, and I don't want to put it off anymore."

"But right now?"

"Yes, now is the right time. It's the best time because it's now!"

"Come on."

"Your car or mine?"

"Lorelai, let's just talk this through."

"No I don't wanna talk, all we've done for months is talk. I want to do. I want to go."

"We can't just take off and get married."

"Why not, Luke? Don't you love me?" How could she even ask that?

"You know I do."

"But I love you, Luke. I love you. But I have waited, and I have stayed away, and I have let you run this thing, and no more. I asked you to marry me, and you said yes." I breathed in sharply. She had never said that to me before. I had always thought that Lorelai could never love me as much as I loved her. I mean, I had been in love with her for over eight years. I just didn't think it was possible.

"Yeah, I'm just trying to think here."

"We fixed up the house, right? We have a bigger closet, and I didn't get the purple wallpaper because you didn't want the purple wallpaper. And if it's between you and the purple wallpaper, I pick you!"

"I didn't tell you not to get the purple wallpaper."

"Oh my God you didn't like it."

"I don't care about wallpaper!"

"Do you care about me?"

"Yes!"

"Because I'm going crazy here. I made a commitment to you, and I need to make it happen."

I took a deep breath and looked at her. She was hysterical, shifting from foot to foot. I saw a tear leak out of the corner of her eye. And then I knew what was happening. It was so clear. I couldn't believe what had been going on right under my nose. I'm losing her. What had I been doing all this time? Hiding April from Lorelai? Why the hell have I been keeping them apart? What's WRONG with me? Why the HELL aren't I married yet?

"Uh… Luke?" Lorelai asked, interrupting my silent, inner tirade.

"Why aren't I married to you?" I blurted out randomly. "I want to be married to you!"

Lorelai looked down awkwardly. "April."

I didn't know what to say. Tell her you've been an idiot, you idiot.

I was an idiot for my daughter.

You were an idiot towards your fiancée.

I had to take care of my daughter.

By ignoring Lorelai?

…Shut up.

"Earth to Luke!" Lorelai said, tapping my shoulder. I stared stupidly at her hand on my shoulder. "You okay?" I nodded, stupefied.

"About the… suggestion to elope?" Lorelai said, crossing her arms like she always did when she was nervous.

"W-what about it?"

"Just… just forget about it, okay? I think this town is finally getting to me. I've reached Kirk's level."

This snapped me out of my daze. My fiancée cannot reach a Kirk Level. "No."

"Excuse me?" Lorelai asked.

"I'm not forgetting about this."

"Look, Luke. I was delusional a minute ago. Just forget it. I was crazy. I was momentarily insane. I was freaked out and it sort of just spilled out. Okay?"

"Lorelai, I can't just forget that happened."

"Luke! I can't lose you, okay? And if you don't forget, it'll keep bugging you until you bring it up again! And then we'll fight and we'll break up and I can't handle it. That time we were apart just sucked, and I'm avoiding experiencing it again at all costs! So just forget it!"

"Lorelai!" I said, trying to shut her up. "I won't forget it."

"You are so stubborn!" Lorelai yelled. I grinned. Look who's talking... "Stop grinning, dammit!"

I pulled her towards me like I had the chance to do so many times before. How could I have taken her for granted? I kissed her like I had before everything had started to fall apart. I felt Lorelai knock off my hat and run her fingers lazily through my hair. We hadn't kissed like this in ages, and I hadn't realized how much I missed it. She reluctantly broke away.

"You win. You don't have to forget."

"Do you think we could still get married on June third?"

She laughed. Her first genuine laugh in a long time. "Only if you have access to Marty McFly's DeLorean."

"I'm sure we can make it work."

"In what world would throwing together a wedding in a few weeks work?"

"Well, Sookie can cater, and you still have the dress. We can have the wedding at the Dragonfly or at the square like Liz and TJ, minus the tights and singing."

"I don't know," Lorelai said in her classic sarcastic voice. She's back. "Tights would be fun." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"We don't have to send wedding invitations to anyone in Stars Hollow. All we have to do is send one to your parents. What else do we need?"

"Well… we would have the whole town behind us. They'd be useful if my mother got any smart ideas about breaking us up again. We could give the town some pitchforks and torches, and we'd have ourselves an instant mob."

I shook my head at how wrong she was. "We've got the world behind us, Lorelai," I said, smiling. "Me, you… it's fate."

So... what'd you think? Bad or good, I'd like some insight. Little green box, people. PLEASE?? For my temporarily undying love?