When We Were Young

Chapter 3 - Revelation

Nikki trailed off, staring thoughtfully at the shelf behind Harry. Her eyes were watery and Harry longed to reach out to her, but the sinking feeling in his heart told him not to.

"So, you never heard from the guy again?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

Nikki didn't seem to sense anything. "No," she said, looking at Harry. "I didn't want to. Much as I regret how it happened, it was what I needed at that time. I wish I'd got his name though..." she stopped mid-sentence and Harry knew it had to be done.

"Nikki..." he said quietly.

Nikki looked up. "Yes?"

"No, I mean Nikki. That was the girl's name."

Nikki looked at Harry as though he'd gone crazy. "Yes, it was me. My name is Nikki." She realised he was staring at her. "Harry?"

Harry swallowed. "It was the name of a girl I slept with 18 years ago..."

There was a deathly silence while Nikki processed this information. "You mean...?" she said.

Harry nodded, unblinkingly. "Yup."

Nikki continued to look at him and Harry felt apprehensive. What had they done?

After a minute Nikki spoke, looking at the floor. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked quietly.

Harry looked away from her, out towards the offices. "Honestly, Nikki, I only realised as you were telling the story. I was so pissed that night, I haven't remembered it since it actually happened, and even then nothing really registered."

Nikki looked up from her spot on the floor and glared at him. "That memorable am I?" she said, managing to inject a gallon of anger into those four quiet words.

He reached out to rub her arm but she wrenched it away from him. "Of course you're not!" Harry said, his voice starting to rise. "Come on, Nikki! We were teenagers! Can't we just forget it?"

Nikki stared at him incredulously. "Forget it?" she said loudly, "Forget it?"

Harry sighed - he hadn't meant it to sound like that. "No, that's not what I mean, what I mean is-"

"Harry? Can you come and look at these skin samples?" called Leo, appearing round the corner of the shelf. Harry and Nikki looked at him like rabbits caught in the headlights.

"Screw you, Harry," said Nikki venomously, pushing past him with tears in her eyes. She rushed past Leo and Harry saw her pause just long enough to grab her coat and bag before dashing out of the lab. Probably to see Noel, thought Harry resentfully. How he wished he could have taken back the last couple of minutes. It had been so tempting to leave her on oblivion, but he couldn't do that to her – she was his best friend whom he loved dearly, sometimes too dearly, and he couldn't do that to her. Although he hated to see her this hurt and this angry at him, he felt a slight weight drop off his chest that had accumulated there while Nikki rattled off her story, unable to stop.

He sighed and tilted his head up to the ceiling before catching sight of Leo watching him. Leo closed the folder and held it between crossed arms, his face concerned. "Everything alright?" he asked.

Harry looked at him, eyebrows raised. Leo didn't need him to say anything else. "Okay, well, can I do anything to help?"

"No thank you, mate. I think she needs a bit of time. I'll try to talk to her later." Harry started to walk towards the office area with Leo. "So, what's up with these?"

The two sat down to analyse the skin samples, of Michael Edwards and some unknown skin cells, and it provided a welcome distraction for Harry. For the rest of the afternoon he concentrated on his work, putting all thoughts of Nikki and Noel Hopkins to the back of his mind. It was the only way.

Nikki was just about to turn the TV on and curl up on the sofa with a blanket and cup of hot chocolate when the doorbell rang. Hoping it wasn't who she thought it was, but knowing she should answer it in case it was urgent, she padded to the door in her pyjamas and slippers and had a look through the peephole. Sure enough, it was Harry.

Although her mind was screaming at her to leave him standing out there, somehow Nikki opened the door a crack and stood with her arms folded, leaning against the doorframe. Harry tried to step through the threshold but she stepped in front of the door protectively and gave him a look which clearly told him to stay put.

Harry's shoulders dropped. He knew he deserved it but all he wanted was for things to go back to normal, how they'd been before Mr Noel Hopkins arrived on the scene and brought back all those unpleasant memories to Nikki.

"Please, Nikki. We need to talk."

Nikki shook her head, her hair coming out of the loose ponytail she'd had it in. "I don't think so," she said coldly, shaking her hair completely free and surveying Harry. "You shouldn't be here. Why don't you just go."

She made to close the door but Harry stopped her. "Come on Nikki, talk to me. Please."

Nikki looked at him but didn't say anything. Harry took this as a good sign and continued. "I mean it. I'm so sorry for that night, honestly I am, and of course I regret it too, but we can't let it ruin our friendship. You're too important to me, Nikki. I know we share too many bad jokes and make out like we hate each other, but I love you Nikki and I can't let what we have go over something that happened nearly two decades ago." He paused for breath. "Please?"

Nikki considered for a moment but was swayed when Harry held up a bottle of wine. "Fine," she said, and turned around and went into the kitchen. Harry closed the door behind him and followed her.

Nikki was cradling her hot chocolate at the kitchen table. Harry placed the wine in the middle and sat down at the corner next to Nikki. She wasn't looking at him.

"Nikki?" he asked.

Nikki glanced up. "I don't know what to say, Harry," she said quietly.

"Right," answered Harry. They sat in loud silence for a few minutes, both thinking what they wanted to say to each other. Finally Harry couldn't bear it any longer.

"Nikki, I take complete responsibility for what happened," he said honestly.

Nikki looked up at him. "You don't have to."

"Yeah, I kind of do," said Harry, hoping she was beginning to come around. She had to.

"No you don't. I was so desperate to prove a point, to punish everyone for my shitty life that I just jumped into bed with the first guy that came along. I probably would have slept with Noel if he'd given me the chance."

Harry suppressed a small smile. "I doubt that."

Nikki looked at him sideways. "I would have. I just... I just needed to be wanted. And I felt that it was something I had to do. Now, I don't know if it was because I really wanted to have sex or if I just wanted it because I thought it would make me fit in... but, if you look at it, it got me where I am today."

Harry realised that was true. "Okay, so..." he said but Nikki wasn't done. "And, is it just me, or has there always been a special bond between us?" she asked.

Harry considered it. "Just god given talent baby," he drawled in an American twang.

Nikki couldn't help the little giggle that escaped. This gave Harry the courage he needed. "Yeah, there's always been a bond," he said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Nikki shivered slightly in her pyjamas and Harry got to his feet. "Come on, we need to wrap you up." Nikki tried to protest but Harry made her go to the sofa where she put on her dressing gown. Then he poured two glasses of wine and, sitting down beside her on the sofa, handed her one. She sipped it slowly, processing the events of the day.

"Does Leo know about this?" she asked suddenly.

"What? Of course not," said Harry. Under Nikki's curious gaze he relented. "Well, he obviously knows something's up after he caught us fighting this afternoon, but I wasn't really in a mood to talk about it."

Nikki nodded. "I don't want him to know. I'm so ashamed of it."

Harry touched Nikki's knee. "Hey, you know it's not your fault?"

Nikki tipped her head to the side, but this did not stop Harry. "No, I mean it. You didn't stop me, but I should have known better than to take advantage. I just fancied the pants off you, and that was how I tried to express it." He put both their wine glasses on the coffee table.

Nikki blushed. "You fancied the pants off me?"

Harry instantly regretted saying that. "Well, you were quite the babe... then," he added. Nikki laughed and hit him lightly on the arm.

"Yeah, shame you lost your good looks!" she grinned.

Harry let out a laugh too and took her hands. "So we're okay?" he asked, searching her eyes with his.

Nikki gave in. "Yeah, we're okay," she said.

Harry heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank God!" he murmured and he leant forward to pull Nikki into a tight hug. She buried her head in his jumper and he kissed the top of her head then rested his cheek on top of her.

They stayed like that for minutes before Nikki slowly pulled back to look into Harry's eyes. "Did you mean it?" she asked.

"Mean what?"

"What you said earlier, on the doorstep..."

Harry reddened slightly (or at least, as much as Harry ever did). "You mean, that I love you?"

"Yeah."

Harry held her gaze. "Of course I did," he said quietly.

Nikki flushed. "Oh." She didn't know what to say. Was she ready to reveal herself like that, considering the events of the day? "I forgive you," she said.

Harry nodded happily and leant forward for another hug but Nikki tilted her head up so her lips were inches from his. When he raised his eyebrows she smirked. "Well, we wouldn't want to let our special bond go to waste now, would we?" she asked slyly.

Harry smiled. "Nope," he said and slowly brushed his lips against hers. When she responded tenderly he deepened the kiss, his tongue touching hers and the kiss becoming more passionate.

Then Nikki pulled back and Harry looked at her questioningly. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," said Nikki, stroking his hair with her left hand. "I just want to make sure this time."

"Of course," said Harry. "It needs to be right."

Nikki smiled affectionately. "Thanks," she said. She paused. "It's what I need."

"Sure," answered Harry. "I just want what's best for you. After all, I do owe you one." He grinned to let her know he was joking and Nikki pulled him into another hug. All thoughts of Noel Hopkins and that dreadful part of her life gone, she reached up to kiss Harry again. He caressed her cheek softly as they kissed and when he drew back for air Nikki rested her forehead against his. "I love you too, Harry," she whispered.

Harry stood up and pulled her into a searing kiss in response. Nikki ran her hands up and down his body for a moment then turned and disappeared into her bedroom. Harry hesitated for the splittest of seconds then followed her. Now everything was good again and he and Nikki were about to embark on the best journey they'd ever made.

The End

Argh!!! Well I got that done at least. I couldn't get the right ring to it, though not for want of trying! But anyway I hope you enjoyed this trip down Flashback Lane! Review!