It was simple. No stings attached sex. And that was how it should be. For in this world you couldn't afford to involve your emotions. You would just end up suffering a great deal. And so Shikamaru had learned to keep these emotions out of the way. For this was how it should be.

But then…

"Hyuga Neji had disappeared. He is presumed to be missing in action. The last TenTen and Rock Lee saw of him, he was being dragged down a valley by unknown person or persons. Your mission is simple; Find him, bring him back. Dead or alive."

And Tsunade's words hit him with the force of lightening. And his chest suddenly narrowed uncomfortably, and his eyes they stung terribly, and suddenly his throat seemed to expand.

'Dead? Dead? Neji? No… Surely not. Not Neji. This was a mistake. It was someone else. Someone else. Please let it be someone else.'

"Nara Shikamaru… Here." And with this Tsunade slid across the table a small bird on a string. The bird was a simple silver carving.

"I know." And with this, Tusnade handed Shikamaru the small pendant, and handed Shikamaru a tissue.

Shikamaru recognized the pendant. Neji had always kept it safe, kept it secret, feared everyone's scorn. He had worn it always, and Shikamaru remembered how Neji refused to take it off, even when they had sex. Not that Shikamaru had minded at the time, it had made the Hyuga look picturesque. More exposed – because everyone knew how much small birds like this meant to Neji. They acted as his signature for most things.

Shikamaru refused the tissue, and left the tower, leaving Tsunade perturbed and extremely irritable to Shizune's dismay for the rest of the afternoon.

…

Neji's eyes opened.

This was some sort of wooden shack. It was dusty and smelled of sweat, and a sickening copper smell of blood, great big vats of it, Neji was sure. In the middle there was positioned a table. Around the table, various instruments and devices Neji didn't want to know the name of, let alone what they were designed for, though it was fairly obvious in most cases.

Blurry figures flitted in and out of the corner of Neji's vision.

His forehead felt sticky. Sure enough Neji was able to make out great big rusty stains on his shirt, contrasting horribly with the white.

He must have been here a long time for the blood to have dried.

Mutters.

Whispers.

A snigger.

"Look… Waking… Look at his face…"

"Woah, get him out of his clothes."

"Why?"

"Firstly, they are stained with blood, secondly he would look damn good without them on."

Neji's heart hammered painfully against his chest. Blood was rushing to his head. He couldn't let them, couldn't let them…

'Shikamaru. He would come for him surely? Someone!'

He couldn't just stay here! Someone get him out!

…

Shikamaru stared around critically at the number of shinobi gathered. Hinata was one of them. She wouldn't be able to handle the mental strain, Shikamaru could see that already.

"Hinata… Please. We know how much you want Neji to come back, but please stay here. It wouldn't be any good for you to come with us. It would only distress you further. You must stay here."

Her face crumpled.

"Shikamaru-kun. Please. I must see him."

"No. I won't allow it. I'm sorry Hinata. Just please stay here. Neji would hate to see you so worried."

Hinata's temper flared dangerously.

"If he's even alive by the time you're done having this argument!"

Nobody moved. Hinata's word hung like unwanted wasps on a Summer's day.

'… If he was still alive.'

"He will be. He better be. And if he isn't I'll drag him back to life myself. You can make my job easier by staying here."

Hinata opened her mouth. Then closed it again.

She nodded, her jaw set, but the tears flooded her eyes anyway.

"If you don't bring him back alive…" She warned, and with that she left, leaving the remaining few.

Sakura, Shikamaru was sure could handle it. No matter how foolish she could be in the matters of Sasuke, or Naruto even, she should be able to handle it being Neji.

This thought made Shikamaru want to lash out at her, but he stopped himself. She was after all a brilliant medic.

Naruto wouldn't leave anyway, that much was for sure, all due to his promise to Neji, all those years ago. When would he keep that promise?

Sai… Sai would be fine. He was that sort of person.

Chouji. Dear Chouji. He only came along because he knew Shikamaru would need him. Even if Neji was alive, there might be serious damage. He might have lost his eyesight, might have lost a limb, might have been mutilated, raped… Shikamaru had tried to ignore the latter. Rape was always a serious matter. The victim, sometimes went mad. If Neji had been raped, god help the people who had done it.

Ino. Again Ino was excellent when it came to being a medic. Not only that, she wanted to help Shikamaru just as much s Chouji. The mental strain, again, was something else though. But, with Chouji here, Ino should be absolutely fine.

Kiba and Shino stood out to Shikamaru the most. They were after all the ones who would be tracking down Neji's trail, would be the ones responsible for finding him. He was putting all his faith in the pair of them.

"Let's go."

And with that, all eight of them, left, leaving behind a sun set which stained the top of the forest, deluding some people who might have been watching it, that the forest had caught fire.

…

Neji's vision was hazy. Little did he know, that drugs were administered to him regularly through his water. He was too tired too notice.

Being torn from his friends; that was exhausting.

Being torn from safety; that was exhausting.

Being pocked and prodded; that was exhausting.

And missing Shikamaru; Well, that was exhausting too.

A man grabbed his wrist. Neji didn't even have the strength left to raise his head.

"Ah, Hyuga-san, how far you have fallen. Then again you climbed far didn't you? You should have realized that you would fall further in doing so."

Familiar… From a long time ago… Chuunin… Exams. Naruto's voice. Talking about a man with glasses.

Grey hair.

Kabuto.

Immediately Neji's brain processed this information. Kabuto, which led to Sasuke, which then led to Orochimaru. Which led to danger. Neji wanted to yell. Wanted to utter some sort of sound as a needle sank in to his skin. Wanted to do something. But all he could do was watch helplessly as the needle punctured his skin, watch still more helplessly as his life blood was sucked up towards a long cold, unfriendly looking tube. Watched as Kabuto's grin stretched across his face. And Neji's stomach flipped, as he emptied its contents across the floor.

…

"Stop it."

Shikamaru winced.

"Don't do that. Please don't do that. If you do that, you'll confuse your feelings. If you do that, we'll both end up completely broken. So stop."

Shikamaru reluctantly withdrew his hands from Neji's slender waist. Reluctantly watched as Neji inched further away from him. It was strange. And so lonely. Neji would never allow Shikamaru to hold him after sex.

It really did hurt. And it really was terribly lonely. The absence of Neji's body heat seemed to be peculiarly loud. Seemed to remind Shikamaru that in this world, his feelings really didn't count for anything. And of course this was the truth of the matter. It always had been for people like them.

...

Shikamaru awoke.

Dreaming about the past… That was for old people. Wasn't it?

"Shikamaru…"

"Chouji."

Chouji's face showed concern, his large features twisted in pity, and in frustration at knowing that he couldn't help him. Chouji felt so helpless. Shikamaru had always helped him, and now he, Chouji couldn't offer one word of sympathy.

"You were dreaming." It was a statement.

"Yeah." There was no point in lying.

"About Neji?"

Shikamaru nodded.

It was stupid really. It wasn't as if what they had was special. Not really. Neji had always made that crystal clear. Had always warned Shikamaru to back off, if he ever came to close, if he ever tried to show any feeling towards him. Neji's reason was strange…

Shikamaru could remember him telling him clearly.

"Sleep Shikamaru. You'll need strength for tomorrow." Here Chouji hesitated, as though hewing over what he thought might ease Shikamaru's agitation.

"What is it?" Chouji was terrible at hiding his feelings.

"Kiba… Kiba and Shino. They picked up a scent. Well. More a trail and a scent."

"Chouji?"

Chouji was caught now. It wasn't a particularly reassuring fact. Wasn't at all what Shikamaru would want to hear, but Shikamaru would feel worse if head it from Shino or Kiba, the people who he knew least.

"It's blood, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru's facial expression didn't change. Instead it froze. In horror. In disgust. In fear. Something. Some unnamed emotion, which should really have a name.

"Also, it will rain tomorrow Shikamaru. So we really do need to speed things up. In this process you need sleep. Please."

Shikamaru moved in a daze. He watched his hands moving to retrieve his blanket. Watched himself as if in a dream. Or under water. He watched himself, but he couldn't feel his body. Couldn't connect properly.

And in this process, Shikamaru fell in to a state between sleeping and waking. And each time, he saw Neji's face. Yet each time he saw Neji, the more blurred his face became. Until finally he couldn't remember what he looked like at all.

A clear sign of re-thinking things. Being a genius, really could be a pain in the ass.

…

"Kabuto… Do you have the sample?"

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

A leer.

"With this sample, we should be able to accurately recreate the Byakugan blood line in one of these embryos. This takes me back to when I created the man who controls the wood element. The last of his kind I believe. Of course this experiment is much improved, the chance of most of the embryos rejecting the solution as been lessened by seventeen percent."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

The test tube babies quivered in their liquids.

…

"The closer I become to people, the lonelier I become. Very time one of them gets hurt, I feel hurt, every time I know someone intimately, the harder it becomes to say no."

Shikamaru really didn't understand.

"Neji… Please. Let me in. Please. Stop building up walls, you'll only end up hurting yourself. Please."

Some evenings were often like this. Shikamaru would plead with Neji to be a part of his world. But how could Shikamaru ever understand that Neji's world… It was dreadful. It was limited, everything was decided for him, and as far as Neji knew, he already had a spouse. The things Neji wore, were decided for him, long white robes, typical of the Hyuga clan, his hair, although Neji admitted he liked his hair long, it was also decided for him. He remembered how angered his Uncle had been when he saw just how long Neji's hair was when he was only five. The longer your hair; the more powerful you were, which is why Hinata's hair had always been cut short by her father for a long time. Though, truth be told, he had been underestimating her a great deal.

And now, Neji could feel Shikamaru's fingertips playing with his hair, twisting, combing, and Neji shoved him away.

"Don't. I told you already. Just don't you dare."

And so Shikamaru was made to be lonely. Even when Neji lay next to him.

But there were times, during those peculiar moments during the night, when you woke up and you weren't quite sure why, when Neji would snuggle closer to Shikamaru, subconsciously. And when Neji awoke first, he was horrified to see how close he was, and how much he enjoyed the feeling of having Shikamaru to lean against and fold himself into. It was like being protected from the world.

…

Neji could see.

He felt like crying with relief, his days of darkness were over at last! He would never again take for granted the art of sight.

A man had woken him, it became apparent, by squirting random shots of water at him. Immediately Neji felt annoyed, and when the man tried it again, he was shocked to see the water squirting right back at him, to hit him squarely in the face.

"Bloody nerve." He muttered.

Instead of resuming this rather fun game (in Neji's opinion anyway) of cat and mouse, he shoved a bowl of rice towards him.

It did not look unpleasant, in fact Neji's stomach growled.

"Eat."

Neji stared at the man. He was an ugly man, lopsided proportions.

"No."

"Eat it. Or do you want me to force you to?"

Neji stared evenly back.

"I'm not hungry."

"Well, well, well…"

Neji turned…

Kabuto's silhouette framed the door.

"I don't think you understand, Hyuga Neji, it is your duty to Orochimaru-sama to stay alive. You understand? This means your body must be functioning perfectly, and that means that you must eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Oh."

Kabuto retreated to a corner of the room, opened a cupboard, and wheel out an IV.

Neji did not recoil, though he knew from experience at Tsunade's hospital, how much these hurt to get put in.

"I'll just feed the nutrients directly in to your blood line, then shall I?"

Neji didn't answer. He would not give Kabuto the pleasure.

Sure enough, the jab came, the needle-like tube, was injected in to his left wrist, where the vain was just visible. He watched in mild disgust as the clear liquid rushed to his blood stream. These things always made him light-headed.

"By the way, Neji-kun…" Kabuto sneered, "Your friends are coming for you, do you remember why you came here? Hmm?"

Neji really did try to remember.

But all he could think of were Lee and TenTen's screams.

'Why am I here?'

"Oh… You don't remember?"

Kabuto tutted.

"Should we jolt your memory then hmm?"

And with this Kabuto placed his hands on Neji's temples.

…

TenTen was screaming. Lee was yelling. They were hurting.

"Well…?"

An answer, Neji had to give them an answer. The kunai in his shoulder was painful, he could see his blood dripping to the dusty ground, turning a black colour almost instantly.

He had to give an answer.

"Come with us. Or your friends over there, will regret the day they were born."

TenTen was crying. Sobbing. The pain racked her frame, sent her sprawling to the ground, and she clutched at her shoulders miserably.

Lee was yelling. He was clutching his head, forced to his knees.

They were dying.

"Stop it… Stop. I'll go, just stop… Please."

A smirk.

"Good boy…"

…

Neji's face was wet. With tears. With sweat. He could not tell. Kabuto smiled tenderly, almost in a motherly fashion down at him.

"There, there."

He caught the moisture, tears apparently, with his thumb, wiping Neji's face tenderly, stroking his hair soothingly.

"It's alright, everything's alright. We'll take good care of you… Shh… Shh…"

And Neji blacked out.

…

Blood, obviously old, was flaking on the ground. Here and there Shikamaru could make out, what he assumed were TenTen and Lee's desperate frames, footprints, sometimes there was a fragment of material.

"Shikamaru…"

The Nara turned.

Kiba held out a head band.

The metal was a rusty crimson colour.

Shikamaru felt his stomach flip.

He vomited.

…

Naruto cried out.

It was like that time where he lost Sasuke. Like the time where the only thing that remained was a headband. But at least then, he had known Sasuke was alive.

He too, felt hi stomach flip at the sight of Shikamaru vomiting, but instead her rubbed soothing circles on the Nara's back, hoping to calm him, to try to reassure him.

"It's alright Shikamaru. If Neji were dead, there would be a body around here. Just keep positive. Remember that Lee and TenTen said they saw him being dragged away. Now why drag him away to be killed? Why not just kill him here? It wouldn't make sense, Shikamaru. Just calm down. Neji wouldn't die on me."

Naruto spoke with such reassurance that Shikamaru almost believed him.

…

Sasuke stared down at the crumpled heap which lay pathetically in the cell. Strangely, he couldn't help but be reminded of a bird. He could almost see the two snapped off wings lying either side of Neji.

He hadn't seen this boy… Well man now, for almost four years. It was strange. Neji brought back so many memories. Konoha… The rivalry between the Uchiha and the Hyuuga clan. In some way Sasuke also knew he was descended from Neji. It had been proven a while ago.

The form on the ground shivered.

Sasuke unlocked the cell.

The form shifted.

Eyes peaked out at him, almost timidly, like a frightened animal, or a butterfly caught in a spider's web.

"Come to poke fun, Uchiha?"

Sasuke did not reply.

The form shivered some more. The cell was actually, now Sasuke came to think about it, extremely icy.

Sasuke reached up to a shelf, hidden in the wall.

Neji closed his eyes.

Instead of a wooden plank, or something of that description to come crashing down on Neji's shoulders, or his head, a blanket landed softly over his form.

Neji opened hi eyes again.

But Sasuke was gone.

AN: WHY is hospital food SOOOO gross? Seriously? . I have the urge to eat a tangerine. =) But then they have NONE? D: WHUT? D8 Anyway ahem, constructive criticism? Tangerine anyone? =)