Author's Note: One-shot. Enjoy. Review. Based on the Song. I don't own it BTW. Mainly memories, the cast or studios or anything aren't involved much. KEY IS IMPORTANT BUT DOES GIVE AWAY SPOILERS!! IF YOU'RE SMART ENOUGH JUST GO ON TO READ THE STORY AND FIGURE IT OUT AFTERWARDS.
Key:
Song Lyrics: Bold and Italicized
Memories: Straight and Normal. Picture the memories like you would if you heard a song, and every memory would come to mind within each line.
When They Were Together: Italicized. This is before Chad cheated on her the second time.
The Other Side of The Door
Sonny's Point of View
In the heat of the fight, I walked away
Ignoring words that you were saying, trying to make me stay
I said, "This time, I've had enough."
He did it again. This was the second time.
"I cannot believe you would cheat on me again Chad!" I screamed at him in the middle of the cafeteria, a few tears pouring down my face. I already went through weeks of torture the last time. Honestly, was his mission to destroy me? I noticed that everyone was staring at us fighting, but I didn't care.
"Sonny, come on, Sonny please you know that I want to be with you… Don't go." He reached out and put his hand on my bare arm. I tensed at him touch, and my shoulders tensed. I raised them up to pull away from his touch. And shook my head letting another tear run down my face.
"This time, I've had enough Chad." It came out in barely a whisper.
I knew all eyes were on us, but I didn't want to look at everyone around me. Without having any guts to say anything else, for the sake of the fact I would've taken him back if I had stayed to hear him explain… I turned around, and left the cafeteria, ignoring every time he called my name once I walked out.
"Sonny! Sonny, let me explain!!"
And you've called a hundred times, but I'm not picking up.
Cause I'm so mad, I might tell you that it's over.
But if you look a little closer
I don't know the status of our relationship at all. But I am pissed. Really, you'd think that Chad Dylan Cooper would learn from his mistakes, like a lot of normal people do. But no, I get stuck with the one idiot, who apparently just doesn't care about me, enough to stop. I know he cares about me, and he does want to be with me. But I want him to be with JUST me. I don't care who he cheated on with, or for how long he cheated, or even to what extent… point is: he cheated.
'Buzzz…' I looked at my phone again. It was on vibrate, because I was annoyed by how much it had been ringing. I let it continue, the sound filling up my ears… When it was over, I sighed and took my phone in my hands from my nightstand by my bed.
'14 missed calls, and 11 new text messages.'
I was curious, I can't deny that, but if I opened up just one text message, he would win. I would call him, begging to get back together, rather than the other way around. If I had accepted his calls, however, I would remember the sound of his voice, and how that voice told me he cheated on me…again. And then I would have to get it through his little fat head, that we were done. Even if I don't want it to be. You know what sucks? The fact that I can still love him, want him…need him, after all he's done to me.
I said, "Leave," but all I really want is you
To stand outside my window, throwing pebbles, screaming, "I'm in love with you."
What is he doing here? Doesn't he get the point of; we're done. I miss him though, I miss him like crazy, that I can't deny. Even if he cheated on me…the main part I don't get is why. We were happy, we really were. We spent every moment we could together, and more.
Plunk, plunk, plunk.
I unlocked the latches of my window and pulled it up, along with the screen. It left me staring at the beautiful boy standing outside in the middle of broad daylight, holding little miniature stones in his hands.
I sighed deeply, "Can you please just leave?" I was annoyed, surely he would expect that.
When he didn't say anything or move, I just put the screen down, and turned around so I could head back to the laptop I was on, which was distracting me from other thoughts.
But before I could do that, Chad screamed, "But I'm in love with you!! Don't you get it Sonny?! I'm not going anywhere."
I froze in the middle of my tracks. That was the first time he has said that he loves me. Better yet; is IN love with me.
But…it figures he would say it right after he cheated.
Wait there in the pouring rain, (I'll) come back for more.
And don't you leave; 'cause I know all I need
Is on the other side of the door.
This was a freaking Sunday... the third day after the whole…incident in the cafeteria between me and Chad. And yet, he was still begging for me back. No matter who it is, it does feel good to have someone want me.
I swung the door open. The weather was a pure rainstorm. It was different though, because the skies weren't dark and there was no lightening and the rain was falling down in a straight angle.
I looked at Chad soaked head to toe, annoyed again. He was wearing jeans, and a plain grey t-shirt with a black rim around the collar and arms. His hair was tousled but just a darker blonde.
"What are you doing here?" I asked no hint of happiness or surprise in my voice.
He looked at me honestly, "You know why."
I felt a pang in my heart, knowing he was here to beg again. And so before those smooth-talking words could come out of his mouth, I simply slammed the door in his face, sliding down against it afterwards. I really hope this isn't some cliché moment, where on the other side, he's doing the exact same thing. It's overused in movies…
I was disgusted with myself. Because…I knew that later on, I would open the door, just to catch another glimpse at him.
Me and my stupid pride (are) sitting here, alone,
Going through the photographs, staring at the phone.
Sometimes I wonder if he knows what he's doing to me… I wonder if he knows that today at the studios…was pure and utter torture, just seeing his face, knowing that I couldn't run up and swing my arms around him like I used to.
I sighed, in my room again… It seems like the only place I won't be judged for still liking someone like him, heck no one even knew I was in love with him. Still am, actually.
I logged onto my computer…and guess what my background picture is? Yep, you got it. A picture of me and Chad in the prop house together, as a couple. I really need to change that…
But I can't do that. I'm weak, because I'm afraid that if I really do hit the 'delete' button…that the pictures are gone, and our relationship was never real. Also I don't want to be mislead to the fact that we were terrible together. Because we weren't, in this picture, we actually look like the couple that are just hopelessly in love and have no major problems. I'd like to believe it.
I looked at the phone. He gave up on me…unfortunately. My phone no longer rang or buzzed unless it was Tawni or my mom, asking if I was alright. And I answered the usual; 'yea, totally cool.' Talk about white lies… I think it was because today at the studios, anytime he walked by me, I would shoot daggers in my eyes to his, and he eventually believed the fact that I don't want him anymore. This time it's not a white lie, because it doesn't benefit for anyone. It's just a simple, but yet major and a large, lie.
I keep going back over the things we both said.
And I remember the slamming door, and all the things that I misread.
"Sonny…Don't start that crap with me, alright? You know perfectly well, that I have been trying to get you back for a while now. Don't you dare tell me that I can never stick to one thing…Because I can, just not you."
I didn't say anything, but continued glaring at him. "You know what, it's funny because I would've thought that Chad Dylan Cooper was at least brave enough or have the decency to break up with someone before he would cheat… Guess I misread you, and I'm glad you stopped begging, because I was beginning to get sick of your whiny dog romance bullcrap!"
He scoffed, "You know what, I'm glad you feel that way, because you weren't even worth it, and you're still not." He looked at me disgustingly, and walked past all of my friends in the prop house, who were just silent, like always whenever Chad and I fought. He slammed the door, and I winced as my shoulders jumped. When me and Chad fought nowadays, it wasn't our cute little banters that we had, no, this was a fight. And there was zero percent of cute in it, whatsoever.
So baby you know everything.
Tell me why you couldn't see that when I left I wanted you to chase after me?
Before we started dating, Chad and I decided to be friends first, even though we both didn't want that. But it was safe; me and Chad learned more about each other than I knew about my mom. Then he asked me out on a date, and we were, well blah-blah-blah, you know the rest.
I was the one to storm out this time. It seemed as though the Mackenzie Falls cast were just as used to it as my cast. I missed the fact that he gave up. Really, it doesn't even seem like I own a phone anymore. It's just there, same with every other part of my life, if you can even call it life. I'm so upset all the time, the only highlight of my day, is when I get to act or be with my friends, well, when they were nice. *cough, cough* Tawni. *cough, cough*
The moment I walked out, I hid in the janitor's closet with the blinds slightly cracked open. The guard didn't notice, because at the podium, there was no guard. Why does that guard always leave when someone sneaks around?
Anyways, you're probably wondering what I'm doing…
I want to see if Chad really did give up, I want to know if he, honest-to-god, just doesn't care anymore. If he doesn't, then I won't bother him anymore… for his sake, and mine.
Although I was fully absorbed my thoughts, it broke instantly when the door swung open. Chad came rushing out and looked around frantically down both ends of the hallway. I assumed (and hoped) that he was looking for me. But when he didn't see me, he lifted his shoulders up, clearly tense, and dropped them down, along with a heavy sigh. That gave me proof, I knew that look even if we were dating or not.
His look said it was too late. But it wasn't, oh how I wish he knew it wasn't. I wished he actually did end up running down both hallways, looking everywhere asking 'where's sonny?' but instead, he just walked back into his set doors, looking hopeless.
I said, "Leave," but all I really want is you
To stand outside my window, throwing pebbles; screaming, "I'm in love with you."
Wait there in the pouring rain, (I'll) come back for more and don't you leave,
Cause I know all I need is on the other side of the door.
Plunk, plunk, plunk.
No. I'm imagining things. Yea, that's it. You constantly set your hopes up too high, that I'm starting to hallucinate and hear things that aren't real.
Plunk, plunk, plunk.
I looked out the window, and surely at nine o'clock at night, he was standing there in the gentle drizzle, holding some more stones.
I opened it up, quicker than I should have. As much as I wanted to be angry and pissed at him, only one thing was running through my mind.
"I thought you gave up," I said.
"What?!" He shouted. I may have been too quiet…
"I thought you gave up!" I didn't shout nor did I talk normally, it was somewhere in between. I think I was even smiling a little bit, which was not part of the plan.
He shrugged and smiled, "I changed my mind."
My smile automatically faded. "Just like you would randomly change your mind and cheat on me again, uh, no, I don't think so." I scoffed…he needs to stick to one thing, and stop jumping around from me to other girls.
He groaned, upset that I started a fight, "Don't you get it? I don't jump around from one thing to another…what's one thing that I kept with me no matter what?"
I shrugged, feeling defeated as he was gaining on me with his little smooth words.
He sighed, the same deep sigh, "You, Sonny. Through, enemies, friends, and relationships we've been through it all…together. I've always stuck to you…everyone else were, scratch that, are just extras. They mean nothing compared to you."
I began sliding the glass downwards.
"What are you doing?!" Chad asked worried.
I was the one to sigh this time. Unfortunately, I forgave him because of that speech. I didn't tell him that of course. I merely said a few things that were enough for him to spell it out, "Don't worry, chances are I'll come back for more."
All he did was smile, but to me it was so much more.
And I scream out the window, "I can't even look at you, I don't need you,"
But I do, I do, I do. I say, "there's nothing you can say
To make this right again, I mean it, I mean it"
What I mean is…
I said, "Leave," baby all I want is you
To stand outside my window, throwing pebbles; screaming, "I'm in love with you."
Wait there in the pouring' rain, (I'll) Come back for more. And don't you leave,
'cause I know all I need is on the other side of the door.
1 hour later: 10:00
"Shut up Chad! There are times I can't even look at you. You mean nothing to me anymore and I don't need you!" I screamed out the window. Lies, lies, lies. God, I need Chad more than Juliet needs Romeo, more than…whatever. Point is; it was a lie. And it seems as though the neighbors are clearly going to file my mom for a noise complaint. Good thing she won't be back until 11:30 since she's at her friend's birthday party.
"Oh come on, Sonny, is there anything I can do?" he pleaded.
"No," I replied sternly, "There's nothing you can say to make this right again. I mean it, okay? I mean it Chad."
"I'm in love with you Sonny…isn't that enough?"
I opened my mouth to come up with a response saying that it wasn't, but I really couldn't. It was enough to make oceans stop creating waves, it was enough to stop wars, it was enough to…whatever again.
After trying to come up with a reply for that I merely just gave up. "Just go home Chad," and with that I shut my window down, turning away from him. I miss him, and I want him back. I want him to hold me, but I don't want to be weak. I don't want to be the one that he can go through so easily. Tears began pouring out of my eyes once I realized that this was not as easy to push him away as I thought it would've been.
With your face, and your beautiful eyes,
His eyes were crazy. They were blue, that was obvious, but they changed shades almost everyday, without contacts. One minute they're sapphire and dark, then they're baby blue, and then it's a mix in between. I loved every shade, as much as I love him.
His skin was another thing. Perfectly flawless and silky white with tints of a beautiful tan. His face was structured without one mess up. In his smile, his cheekbones, his forehead, hell even his nose is perfectly structured and those are hard to have.
And the conversations, with the little white lies.
"Come on Sonny, just because you got a bad grade does not mean your mom will actually kick you off the show!" Chad told me confidently.
"Chad…She always says 'Grades first, show second!" I mimicked my mom.
"It's gonna be all right." He told me, comforting me with his arms around mine.
He wasn't fully right. My mom did kick me off the show, but only for about two weeks so that I could spend time in class before improving and joining again.
And the faded picture of a beautiful night
I looked at the picture pissed again…Why the hell did we even take pictures together? I wish some fortune teller or something would've told me that this would all end badly, and so then I could prepare myself for heartbreak and just break it off before me and Chad got closer.
Sometimes being famous is okay, since a lot of people can get many important things that happen to them, documented and photographed. But what if you don't want to be photographed on some nights?
Particularly the first date, where everything was magical, it almost seemed like a dream. And when we went to that restaurant that had a slow dance floor and me and Chad stared in each other's eyes for what seemed like hours… What if I don't want that date documented, because it leads to the fact in which I fell in love with someone who cheated on me? I hate paparazzi.
You carry me from your car up the stairs
And I broke-down crying' Was she worth this mess?,
After everything and that little black dress. After everything, I must confess,
I need you
I stood outside of the garage doors that were large and the entrance to the studio. It's cold, it's wet, it's dark, and my mom is late.
My phone buzzed, and automatically I thought that it would be Chad. Why do my hopes rise only to be crashed back down again?
'Hey honey, can't pick u up. Take the bus. ~ mom'
I growled deeply. Doesn't she know that this isn't school?!! There is no bus here, which leaves me with no choice but to pay money for an expensive cab or head back inside. No one here could give me a ride back because I had spent two hours after we were done rehearsing, cleaning up the prop house and me and Tawni's dressing room. You should try cleaning lipstick off a carpet…it's not easy. So it was seven o'clock and the only people that we're here were adults and it'd be strange asking for a ride from them…
I decided that, I should at least go back inside to warm up, so I turned around and began walking back. I stopped automatically when I heard an engine rev behind me.
I quickly turned myself around and saw Chad there with the window rolled down. He leaned across the seat.
He inhaled sharply, "Need a ride?"
I eyed him suspiciously.
"Just a ride. Nothing else, I swear. I'm not going to beg today." He told me. He must've had a suck-y day. But to ask, would mean that things would get personal again.
I just nodded my head and mouthed 'Okay'. I opened the door to his black car, which had the hood up. It makes sense. Based on the weather, the hood didn't deserve to be down.
I hopped in a buckled my seat belt awkwardly in silence and he sped off the moment I did.
Red Lights really suck. If I thought that getting in the car was awkward, it was nothing compared to now. Sitting in the car, just waiting to go. Everything was still at the moment, it made me feel dizzy.
Out of the corner of my eye, Chad fumbled with his hands and tapped the steering wheel repeatedly…making in more awkward. Knowing him, his face showed that he really wanted to say something but he just wouldn't budge.
"I'm sorry," he finally spit out.
"What?" I asked. I knew what he said, but I was confused by the gesture.
"Well, it's just, that, uh, all this time for the past 6 weeks that we've been fighting, I, uh, realized that I never really said sorry for, uhm, cheating on you." His eyes remained on the road the entire time he said this, and the entire time he did, my eyes remained on him. I didn't say anything, due to the lump enclosed in my throat. If I had begun to talk, tears would just randomly blink out of my eyes.
We reached my house, and he pulled into the driveway, and just stopped the car.
I cleared my throat with all the strength I had, "Um, thank you."
He just nodded still looking ahead.
This confused me, "I want to ask you something, but I need you to look at me."
He closed his eyes in pain after I spoke and opened them and slowly turned his head towards mine, his hands still clutching the wheel.
His eyes looked beautiful as ever, but now was not the time to get lost in them. Remembering the question, I immediately looked down at my lap.
"Was she…was, well, Chad," I turned my head up to look at him again. "Was she worth this mess?" Tear one, tear two, and tear three and blinked away in a matter of seconds.
He didn't—he couldn't say anything because soon enough my shoulders started shaking as I sobbed as hard as I ever did. More than when I actually found out. He got out of the car and went to open my door. Great, I was being annoying and now he's going to kick me out of his car.
But when one of his arms slid behind my back and the other one underneath my legs, I was surprised by his touch as he pulled me out and carried me bridal style through my house, up the stairs. It didn't stop the sobbing even though I was in his arms like I always wanted. He carried me up the stairs and every thing flashed. The dress I wore to our first date…the time we hung out in his dressing room fighting in a silly manner for the remote, although he always won by tickling me. And now, here I was in his arms where I won't stop myself or push away from him, because I just can't.
He set me down gently on the bed and went to the other side to lie down next to me. I would've expected him to leave, but maybe I don't know him as well as I thought I did. He placed his arm, around me, warming me up by his touch, and scooted closer, his breath against my ear.
"No, she wasn't." He whispered. The truth and my whole world were in those words. But I didn't expect him to answer. Why is he doing everything so differently than what he usually does?
I sniffled and wiped my eyes and nose with the back of my hand before rolling over so that we were facing each other. Just lying in my bed, staring into each others eyes.
"I need you." The truth was out. Because to keep a truth in that large, almost made me go insane. So, at this point, I just didn't really care on his opinion. He didn't say anything, but that was okay. It was all in his eyes.