I am in love

With what we are

Not what we should be

It was one of those romances that should never exist, yet inevitably does. It's bad enough to be in love with a colleague. It's even worse when that colleague is married, with kids. But the clincher is when you work at such as stressful, demanding job as the Special Victims Unit department of the New York Police Department.

This was the dilemma Elliot and I faced.

And I am star struck

With every part

Of this whole story

All my life, I'd had bad luck with relationships. I was too high-strung and too independent for any man to tolerate for an extended period of time and when I joined the SVU, this created another obstacle. I would be out with a perfectly nice man and he would ask where I worked.

"I'm a detective," I would say.

"For which department?" he would ask, usually more out of politeness than interest.

And when I responded, "The Special Victims Unit," the mood would be ruined. Generally the guy would be uncomfortable with that. He would doubt my ability to maintain a normal sex life and that would be it. Occasionally, I got those guys who were too interested in my job and spent the night grilling me about recent cases – questions I was neither permitted nor eager to answer. Inevitably, our first date would also be our last.

But Elliot was different. He understood.

So if it's just tonight

The animal inside

Let it live and die

It had been another long, hard day – a case of sexual abuse of a four-year-old. Her rapist had been acquitted and I needed some comfort.

"Elliot," I begged. "I don't want to be alone tonight. Come home with me."

Even though it was technically wrong, I wanted it more than anything in the world. I could see that Elliot wanted it too. How could something so pure and true be anything but right?

Like it's the end of time

Like everything inside

Let it live and die

Everyone has different ways of dealing with tension. Mine is sex. For me, it's the most non-committal activity there is. I could never have a long-term relationship with a man, but one night of pleasure is a stress reliever for someone like me.

So there we were, me and him. But with Elliot, I felt a spark ignite inside me. This was different, for sure.

This is our last chance

Give me your hands

'Cause our world is spinning at the speed of light

The world crumbled beneath us and it was just the two of us, united.

The night is fading

Heart is racing

Now just come and love me like we're gonna die

Rational thought disappeared and the world fell away. There was only here and now, him and I, our lips locked together, unwilling or unable to let go.

I'm not asleep

I'm up for the fight

Into the magic

Elliot shifted beside me in bed. "I have to go," he murmured, stroking my hair.

I kissed him again. "Stay."

The clock struck midnight and my prince stayed on.

And I don't want the concrete

I am alive

Comes with the tragic

It was one of those romances that should never exist but inevitably does. And when I next awoke, he vas gone.

So if it's just tonight

The animal inside

Let it live and die