Well I really don't know what to say right now...well this probably won't solve anything but I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY! From the bottom of my heart I really am sorry to those evryone that has been waiting on this especially those who were here from the beginning and are actually still reading this and have been waiting MONTHS for me to actually update again. At one point I actually forgot I even had this story. Again I apologize. :(

"So how have you been?" Lissa asked worried.

"Okay, I guess. Better now that we're back her. I missed this place." Avery assured.

"I don't see how." I joked. We were all sitting in Avery's guest house at the academy.

It had been about a month since the attack now. The academy had put the whole school on lock down once we got back trying to turn tricks to keep out the royals and the recent attack top secret. This was my first time through that whole month that I had had a chance to actually finally sit down with two of my oldest friends. As part of their assurance to the Moroi families, especially the royals, administration had decided the best thing for everyone was to speed up the graduation process. Now all of the senior dhampirs had gone through their trials. Just at the thought of it the new tattoo on the back of my neck tingled.

"You did it Roza. You passed with the best scores this academy has ever seen. Even with the added obstacles.

Trials had been a breeze. We had them two days after getting back and now all that was left was the Moroi graduation. Usually dhampirs would graduate the same day but with everything that had happened the academy needed as much help as they could get, on top of that Liss had been called in on video conferences with Tatiana all month. With my guarding and her royal business we had seen much of each other and Avery had entertained herself with Adrian.

"Rose. Rose?"

"Huh?" I was brought back out of my daydream by Lissa trying to hand me a mug of tea. "Oh, thanks. Zoned out there." I said accepting the cup.

"Avery and I were planning on going to my villa on the beach over the summer and wanted to know if you were coming since you don't start guarding me until August when I go to Leigh." she explained.

"I don't know." I answered truthfully. "I would love to. It sounds great, but you know I already have a lot I have to do this summer. Abe's trying to drag me to Turkey, mom wants me in Nepal, and on top of that I'm supposed to be going to Russia with Dimitri."

"Well since its an open invitation drop by when you can. We're leaving once school starts and will be staying the whole time." She offered.

"I'll try. I promise."

"You better." Avery chipped in. "But I want to know, how did you get him to let you go with him after that Galina chick."

"He isn't," I sighed. "We're going to see his family. He still refuses to let me go which makes no sense. Why take me to Russia at all?"

"He wants you to met his family. Plus, he's worried about you. He doesn't want you to get hurt." Liss reasoned.

"Well I wish he'd worry less."

"It's amazing he's even going to try letting you step foot in Russia though." Avery concluded.

"His family promised to keep me under house arrest once he leaves. If I go out someone's going with me." I explained a bit irritated.

"Wow he's going to make sure you go nowhere near the Stirgoi huh?"

"You think. The overprotective ba-"

"Rose." Lissa chided.

"Fine. But still I'm not some little two year old about to wonder into the street." Sigh. "You know the more I think about it the beach sounds like fun. Forget Russia."

"Of course it does. It's the beach." Avery said in a duh-tone.

"Avery don't encourage her. She's trying to get out of having to go to Russia. Again. She's been doing this all week." Liss interrupted.

"Damn straight! He's trying to keep me locked up with people I don't even know."

"Rose they're his family. It's not like their kidnapping you. You have to meet them eventually." Liss continued. "Besides haven't you already spoken to some of them?"

"Yeah. Viktoria, his little sister. Olena, his mother, and his nephew, Paul."

"See it's not so bad. You know three of them."

"No. I've talked to three of them I don't know them. Besides that leaves one grandmother, two sisters, and a niece."

"Who will love you as much as we do." Avery added around eating her yogurt. "You know you really should stop being chicken. He's not going to drop you off then disappear the next day leaving you to fend or yourself. "Avery, trust me that's how it works in Rose's head. I don't get why she's scared it sounds like fun to me. New people and a totally new place."

"Hello still here. In the room." I said. "And if it sounds so fun to you, Liss, you can go to the frozen wasteland and I'll go to the beach with Avery."

"One problem there. He's your boyfriend, Rose, not mine. I have no point in going."

"So you're just going to abandon me to freeze my ass off with ex-KGB members in the middle of nowhere."

"Stop being so melodramatic." Avery insisted. "But yes, we will very happily turn you over to the KGB and enjoy our vacation at the beach."

"Oh, you're cruel." I said chucking a pencil at her head, before checking the clock. "And I have to go."

"What, already? Come on, where's the fun Rose I used to know. Skip." Avery whined.

"Can't, she's already freezing her ass off in Russia and this Rose has patrolling to do." I countered.

"Fine, go be all responsible but you'll regret it when you start getting grey hair from stress." she mused.

"All thanks to you." I joked, closing the door just in time before a cup she threw collide with my head. "Ha." I called through the door before making my way to my boring post, guarding the gate.

As one of the school's many precautions the new dhampirs guardians along with most of the others on campus were forced to guard the perimeter in shifts. Today I was assigned to the gate around curfew, just before the sun rises. I stand there for three hours before I'm relived and I don't have another shift until three days later due to the abundance of guardian help.

I had stood at my post for about half of my shift, bored out of my mind sitting down playing with my stake, when someone approached me.

"You won't get much down that way." They joked.

"Well there isn't much to do so I guess I'm okay."

"I must agree with you there. How much longer do you have?"

"An hour. I didn't know you were forced out her with the rest of us."

"I'm not. Being captain has its perks," Alberta mused. "But I needed some air. So, tell me how have you been?" She said sitting down next to me.

"Fine, pretty bored though." I said gesturing around me to the quiet Moroi night.

"I can understand. You never were much of a quiet girl willing to just stand back. No, you were always ready for battle. You remind me a lot of your mother. I remember when you were only four and your mother brought you here and then hearing about how you had thrown a book at Ms. Cullen (tehe (Twilight Sucks!)). I knew you would be hard to control but an amazing fighter. With aim like that its hard not to." She laughed at the memory, then we both lapsed into a comfortable silence.

"Alberta, can I ask you something?" Asked after a moment.

"Of course."

"I have this friend and she's scared." I know cliché.

"Well what is she afraid of?" She asked curiously.

"What she's supposed to do next. You see, here boyfriend wants to take her home to meet his family and on top of that all the Stirgoi attacks are killing her. She so stressed out over all of it and needs help. Do you have any advice?" Out of everyone at the academy if there was anyone I had ever trusted before Dimitri came along and besides Liss, it was Alberta. She was like the mom I never got. A mom very well able to kick your ass but a mom nonetheless.

"Well your friends seems to be in a lot of trouble isn't she? First tell her to relax I'm sure his family will accept her openly and about the Stirgoi, well honestly everyone's afraid. We have group trying to find the nest but its hard. I'm sure that you, I mean your friend can hold her own though." She said with a knowing smile.

"That obvious, huh?" I asked.

"Well….yes." she chuckled. "Rose trust me I've known Olena Belikova far longer than either of us will admit and she still remains to this day the warm-hearted woman I first met her as. She and her family will accept you without a second thought. Not just because Dimitri loves you, but because you're an amazing young woman. Who I was lucky enough to watch grow up.

"And as for the Stirgoi mess. I'm not sure about this Rose, I don't like to think about you even being near any of them, but you always seem to find trouble. So, I want you to try not to get involved but after you don't listen to me I want you to stay on your guard. I know you and Dimitri will protect each other but this is dangerous. Once you cross over into their territory no one knows what to expect so this is what I want you to do. I want you to contact me anyway you can and I'll be on my way with a group of guardians. I refuse to let either o you to die. We cant afford it in these times." She tried to joke at the end but her anxiety was still tangible in the air. She opened her arms out to me and I graciously walked in letting her envelope me.

"You worry too much." I simply mumbled in her shoulder.

"And you worry to little." She said stroking my hair. "You know what? I want you to go and talk to your 'friend'. Tell her everything I said and tell her to talk to her boyfriend as soon as possible and tell him what's on her mind. Then I want all of you to get some sleep."

"What about my post?" I asked stepping back once she released me.

"Don't worry about it. I've got you covered. Now, go." she assured.

"Thanks." I said hugging her once more and jogging away. Then I thought about it and stopped calling back to her. "Alberta?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you! You're the best."

"You're welcome."

"Dimitri." I called through the door. I had ran all the way to his room and was now knocking on his door.

After a minute he finally answered the door.

"Roza? Is something wrong?" He looked worried.

"Yes and no. We need to talk. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, come on." he said opening the door wider letting me through, watching me the whole time wondering what was going on.

I sat on the edge of the bed resting my hands in my hands thinking about what I was going to say first.

"So?" He asked sitting in front of me in his desk chair, he had pulled up.

"Well, I-I'm scared Dimitri."

"Of what Roza?"

"Everything. I'm scared that your family won't like me, I'm scared that if you don't let me go with you this time the Stirgoi will finish the job, I'm scared that if you do let me go the Stirgoi will kill or turn both of us, and above all I'm scared that I we make it through all of this one day you'll wake up and realize that you really didn't want me and it was just a fling and you want a real family. Something I could never give you."

He sat quietly for a minute before speaking and when he did his accent was heavier than usual. "Roza, I don't want you to worry about any of those things. Look at me." He said taking both of my hands in one of his and using the other to tilt my face up. "Roza believe me no matter what I will protect you from those Stirgoi. And my family will absolutely love you. Roza you're the best thing that has ever happened t me I don't see how they wouldn't love you."

"And the part about you leaving me?"

"I would never, never leave you. I would have to be a fool to every even attempt to think of you as a fling. You are all I will ever need." he growled for affect. "I love you, don't you know that? I don't need children. All I need is you by my side to be the happiest man ever. Roza you are my family now."

"Dimitri you don't know what you're saying. Eventually you'll realize that I'm not worth all the trouble. You deserve so much better."

"If anyone doesn't deserve someone its me. I will never be able to deserve you Roza. You are a beautiful, intelligent, strong woman and I was blessed enough to be even be allowed to be in your presence let alone someone you love. I worry that one day you'll leave me for someone that really does deserve you. Someone that didn't push you or there feelings or you away. Someone that can give you everything you need or ever wanted including beautiful children. I am just happy that I can claim you as mine now and if you ever decide you don't want me anymore I will be happy alone to have the time we had together. No one else is for me Roza. No one." he concluded.

"One day you'll realize you were wrong about me. That I'm not worth all of this." I smiled sadly.

"And I will curse that day for ever thinking any less of you." he said. "I love you Roza. I always will."

I just put my head back down resting it on his chest listening to his heart beat, my hands still wrapped in his.

"I don't deserve you." I mumbled in his chest.

"You're right. You deserve better." he said and just held me. I didn't feel like debating it with him anymore. One day he would learn and on that day I wouldn't fight with him either. I would be happy for him and whoever she was and just hold these precious memories close to remember when he was actually mine.

"Will you stay the night." he finally asked after a while. I only shook my head yes.

That night I felt closer than I ever will. We didn't even have sex he just held me close to him and soothingly stroked my hair, humming a Russian tune in my ear, and mumbled how he loved me and why he loved me. I feel asleep to him saying he promised to prove to me that I was worth it.

So...maybe you can forgive me :/? If you don't I understand especially since this is soo overdue and shorter than my usually chapters but well here it is. A girl can hope though :) Well anyway I just want to say thank you to those loyal readers who have stuck by me and have recently sent me messages demanding I get my butt back on here and update. So thank you. :) Also I know this is probably very wrong of me but I must ask all of you to go read my story A New Love. It has been going so much better for me than this piece has though I am working on getting back on her to update better but yeah thats about it...

Kayla v.v (I'm very ashamed of myself)

Peace,Love,&Vampires