Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on characters from the Firefly 'verse created by Joss Whedon. No copyright infringement is intended.

Rating: T (for disturbing situations and foul language)

Spoilers: None. This story is set pre-series, about eight months after Wash joins the crew and six months after Kaylee joins the crew.

Pairing(s): Wash/Kaylee, Wash/Zoë

Author's Notes: This story was inspired by a deleted scene from the series pilot episode, plus a little Shakespeare. The scene deals with the end of the Battle of Serenity Valley and is transcribed as the prologue to Dagger of the Mind. You can also watch it on the series DVD or on YouTube. Thank you to everyone who has provided feedback and encouragement for my very first-ever fanfic, particularly Jadzia Bear and my loyal sounding boards Patrick and Natasha.

Also, in order for certain elements of the story to make sense, I had to play with the timeline a little. Here, the war ended six years earlier.

DAGGER OF THE MIND

Is this a dagger which I see before me, the handle towards my hand?

Come, let me clutch thee. I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.

Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible to feeling as to sight?

or art thou but a dagger of the mind, a false creation, proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?

– Macbeth, Act 2 Scene 1*

Prologue:

Zoë describes the end of the Battle of Serenity Valley to Simon

(Firefly pilot episode, deleted scene transcript)

Simon: (turns on talking encyclopedia) "Serenity." Read.

ENCYCLOPEDIA: In the war to unite the planets, the Battle of Serenity was among the most devastating and decisive. Located on Hera, the valley was considered a key position by both sides, and was bitterly fought over. The Independent Faction, with sixteen brigades and twenty air-tank squads, held the valley against the Alliance forces for almost two months, until superior numbers and a brilliant deep-flank strategy by General –

(Zoë enters the room. Simon turns off encyclopedia)

Zoë: We're not in there. The book, I mean. We're not generals or diplomats. We didn't turn the tide of glorious history or whatever that thing is supposed to spew.

Simon: Well, you know what they say - history is programmed by the winners.

Zoë: Nearly half a million people lay dead on that field at day's end, about a third of them 'winners'. Can you imagine that smell? Can you imagine piling up the bodies of soldiers, of friends, to build a wall 'cause you got no cover?

Simon: Mal was there with you.

Zoë: He was my sergeant. Commanded thirty-odd grunts. Five days in, there were so many officers dead he commanded two thousand. Kept us together, kept us fighting, kept us sane. By the time the fighting was over, he had maybe four hundred still intact.

Simon: Wow. That's a hell of a –

Zoë: I said the fighting was over. But you see they left us there. Wounded and sick and near to mad as can still walk and talk. Both sides left us there, while they negotiated the peace. For a week. And we kept dying. When they finally sent in medships, he had about a hundred and fifty left, and of our original platoon, just me. Mercy, forgiveness, trust... Those are things he left back there. What he has now is the ship, the ship and us on it. You get Kaylee through [her injuries] and I think he'll do right by you. He won't kill unless he's got no other option.

Simon: What if he tells you to kill me?

Zoë: (without hesitation) I kill you.

Simon: Just getting the lay of the land.

(Zoë turns to leave.)

Simon: If that battle was so horrible, why'd he name the ship after it?

Zoë: (thinks for a minute) Once you've been in Serenity, you never leave. You just learn to live there.

End Prologue.

Literary References:

* Macbeth, Act 2 Scene 1 (a famous soliloquy Macbeth delivers while laying in wait for his chance to murder King Duncan. The titular "dagger of the mind" represents Macbeth's guilty conscience. He knows what he is about to do is wrong, but ambition drives him forward.)