"Son of a…"

"Relax, just a little more…"

"OH, SHI-!"

Thump.

Thump.

Two bedraggled and rather sooty figures sat up, one rubbing his head and the other muttering profanities under his breath.

"Sousuke!" hissed the thinner one of the pair. "I've had enough of this! Ever since we got together, ya been treating me like yer dang sidekick! It's not fair, I tell you. Remind my why I'm doin' this again!"

Aizen Sousuke, Divine Ruler of Las Noches and soon to be God of the World, stood up and pushed the pillow in his shirt back into place. "I have already explained this, my dear Gin. It is Christmas, a time for festivity and cheer. Even the Arrancar need a break, don't you think?"

"But why do we have to go through this?"

Aizen sighed and attempted to brush soot off his beard. "Look. Father Christmas is an essential part of this holiday. His name even has the word 'Christmas' in it! It's not Christmas without Santa!"

"Why not just get Barragan?!"

"He's too grumpy," Aizen sniffed. "Besides, he wouldn't fit through the chimney."

"Again, another completely pointless thing ta do."

"It is NOT pointless. Christmas needs Santa, and Santa comes in through the chimney. It's just the way it goes."

"Well, why do YOU get ta be Santa?!"

"You're too creepy."

"BUT WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO BE A STINKIN' ELF?!"

Aizen clapped a hand over his subordinate's mouth, silencing him. "You'll wake up the kids!" he warned. "Besides," he did a quick once-over of Gin's green elf outfit, "I spent a lot of money getting Ishida to make that. The least you could do is appreciate it. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but would it kill you to smile? You're supposed to be cheerful here. Come help me put the presents under the tree."

Resisting the urge to ask what traumatizing childhood Aizen must have had, Gin instead lugged the sack of presents over to the single –and rather desolate-looking- tree in the middle of the hall. It had taken them the best part of a week to decorate it, ending up in a cheerful little thing that looked rather out-of-place in the huge Meeting Room. Gin wasn't going to be the one to say it, but the whole thing gave off a rather mad, desperately cheerful air, like a deranged old lady trying to force cookies down your throat- at this point, Gin clamped down firmly on his thought processes. It would do no good to bring up the past.

Aizen signalled him over impatiently, kneeling at the base of the tree.

"Szayel has reported that turning the sand into snow has been a complete success. Tomorrow, Las Noches will be waking up to a white Christmas!"

"Las Noches is ALWAYS white."

Aizen shot Gin a dirty look from behind his beard. "Really, Gin. Had you not been my lover, I would have punished you for your insolence long ago."

He dug into the sack and began pulling out presents one by one, placing them carefully under the tree. First was a soft package wrapped in yellow. "For Hallibel," announced Aizen proudly, "a sweater from Chanel, because…well, God knows she needs one. And this one's for Szayel," he extracted a small pink box, "I stole him a Nobel Prize! And this one," he continued, taking the present Gin handed him, "the entire collections of Metallica, Kiss and Slipknot for Ulquiorra, because all he has so far is Korn."

Gin watched in vague horror as the all-powerful evil genius continued pulling presents from his sack, chattering excitedly to himself about their contents and how thrilled everyone would be on Christmas morning. Gin found himself wondering exactly how long he had planned this without ever letting anyone know.

And then, Aizen Sousuke turned around.

And smiled.

Just then, Gin thought he saw his life flash before his eyes.

Aizen turned back to his work, while Gin attempted to get over his shock. He gulped quietly, feeling a shiver run down his spine. And I thoughtIwas creepy.

It wasn't so much the fact that Aizen had smiled; oh, no, he did that all the time. It was the way he smiled. No more calm, all-knowing power; this smile of his was just…gleeful. Somewhat like the smile a man gives you just before he rips your skirt off.

That had happened many times to Gin. And needless to say, that scared the living daylights out of him.

He racked his brains, attempting to recall a time when he had ever seen the stoic Aizen as giggly and excitable as he was now. Come to think of it, there was just once when Aizen had been like this, Gin realised.

It had happened long ago in Seretei. Captain Ukitake's tuberculosis had started acting up during Christmas, and he couldn't do his usual duties of planning for Seretei's annual Christmas gala. Aizen had, therefore, been the prime candidate to take over the job.

Gin didn't have much recollection of what had happened (he'd probably intentionally blocked it out of his memory at some point), but he did remember tinsel, reindeer, gingerbread, and lights. Lots of lights. He remembered brightly-coloured Christmas crackers, and being forced into an elf costume (Oh, how history repeats itself) but most vividly of all, Gin remembered…the Glint.

The same one that Aizen had in his eye now.

And it was then, with startling realisation, it dawned on him that Aizen was like this every year.

Every winter, without fail, he'd go into this holiday frenzy. And every year, Gin was forced to wear the elf costume.

And donchaknow it, things hadn't bloody changed.

Gin sighed, dejected as he resigned himself to his fate. Aizen, however, chose that very moment to turn around.

"Why, what's wrong, Gin? You look awfully gloomy for this time of year."

Gin mumbled something incoherent, making Aizen tilt his head in worry. He brightened up suddenly as an idea struck him. "Oh! You thought I forgot your present!"

Beaming, he reached deep into the sack to retrieve the last present. "You didn't really think I could forget you, now, did you?" he chirped, handing Gin a large cardboard box with holes cut out on top.

Gin looked at Aizen's hopeful face and sighed, reaching gingerly into the box.

"Woof!"

Gin's eyes actually popped open out of sheer surprise. "Tadaa!" Aizen cried. "Look, Gin, I got you a puppy!"

"So I see," was all Gin could say, as the little white animal squirmed madly in his grip. It was one of those dogs with long hair that completely obscured its eyes. All that could be seen was a little pink tongue as the puppy tried desperately to lick something. "I call him Little Gin! Because, he's the same colour as you are, and he's got no eyes," Aizen explained. "However, he doesn't respond to that name, so you should choose one for him!"

Gin shut his eyes again and regarded the excited canine for a while, wondering why he was the only one feeling slightly awkward. "I really dunno what ta call him, Sousuke," he said carefully. Aizen grinned and patted the puppy on the head. "Just name him something cute!" he advised. Gin made a face.

"Okay. Then I shall call him…Frosting!"

"You like him?" Aizen asked, a touch proudly.

"He's great, Sousuke," replied Gin with a weak smile. He realised with a pang of guilt that despite embarrassing him every Christmas, Aizen never failed to give him a present.

And Gin had never gotten him one at all.

"Well, that's done," said Aizen matter-of-factly, straightening up completely. "I'm going to bed. And tomorrow, everyone can have fun opening their presents!" With that, he waltzed off, humming, leaving Gin alone to his thoughts.

"I wonder if he remembers that first time under the mistletoe, back when I finally turned a hundred and eighteen, " Gin said quietly to the puppy. "That was my first kiss, you know." The little ball of fur simply tilted its head at him questioningly, making Gin smile. "He makes a fool outta me every year, but somehow he always shows up after that with a big smile and an even bigger box to make up fer it. I don't think I've ever given the guy anythin' 'fore."

There was a silence for a while, as Gin contemplated this.

"Crap. Now I feel like shit."

The next morning, exclamations of excitement could be heard as the Espada arrived for their emergency meeting, only to find it full of presents.

Aizen, however, could make no audible sound when Ichimaru Gin showed up in his bedroom, wearing nothing but a red and green thong.

NYARHAR. My UBER LAME Christmas fic. I don't even celebrate Christmas.

*rereads*

You know, truth be told I'm far from happy. But, I kinda just felt like posting something for Christmas, since Poison Pink's taking so long.

Ah! I suck! I'm gonna go kill myself ):

Has anyone else noticed that TYL Squalo looks like a meaner, prissier version of Ukitake?

EDIT: JANUARY;

I found this fic while I was cleaning up my files and realised I might as well post it. Too bad Christmas is over. Oh, well. It's not like I even celebrate Christmas anyway.

Yeah, so please review and stuff!