[This chapter of the Edwaker brought to you in part by Mr. Clemens math class. Mr. Clemens math class is where your interest grows.]

"So tell me Double d," Eddy back-flipped off the King of Red Lion's horns onto the dock of Windfall Island, "If these "Sacred Triforce of Courage" pieces or whatever are underwater, then why don't we just go back to Hyrule and hike for them there?"

"For the same reason we couldn't do that with the sages." Double d said, opening a section of the boats side, climbing onto the dock and closing it again, where it re-formed into the boat as if it never existed at all, "The paths to them are closed-off, but the pieces can be salvaged via our crane. But what we lack is a working location to it, some sort of chart showing their locations." Ed tried to open the boat the same way as Double d, but only succeeded in breaking off a chunk of it. "I will fix that later."

"Yeah you better. So where are we gonna get a chart like that?"

"Well, seeing as this is the island of riches perhaps an old merchant somewhere has a chart of their locations."

"HEY GUYS!" Ed danced around a shaking mailbox with glee, "We've got mail!"

"That's "We have mail", Ed." Double d and Eddy joined Ed at the box.

"Helloooooooo!" Chimed the red device, "Mail for the Eds: Two letters." The slit in the box spat out a dusty gray piece of parchment, with the name Aryll chicken-scratched on the non folded part. Double D gently removed the paper inside and read the first sentence to himself.

"Well, it seems we've finally gotten news on our lost-"

"READ IT OUT LOUD DOUBLE D!" Ed shouted, leaning awkwardly close.

"Yeah, we don't have all day." Eddy grumbled, tapping his foot.

"Very well then; dear Double d,

Sorry I couldn't write to you sooner, paper and ink are hard to come by when you're sailing the sea."

"Why's she still on the boat?" Eddy asked as Double d kept reading with confusion.

"Not that I mind, really. While I was trapped in that cursed cell the one escape I could always reach to was the sea, and by extension the seagulls."

"I love seagulls guys!" Ed shouted as commentary.

"I guess I should explain why we're not home on Outset yet. You see, since she was captured, Sarah tried to organize a rebellion of her own against the forces of evil. Either she's very inspired,"

"Or a major brat." Eddy mumbled.

"Or has the makings of a fierce leader. The latter seems more likely, since she's taken Tetra's place as leader of the pirates in the short time she's been gone. It was her order to sail after the tower burned down. Since then she's been leading the crew much like their old leader would, with a few exceptions:"

"What!" The Eds collectively cried in shock.

"Ed, I know she's used to kicking you around, but what the heck? That little squirt, leading a whole pirate crew, did you know she could do that?"

"I didn't know she had it in her." Ed said with a grin while Double d and Eddy began to dread returning to Outset with her.

"New rule number one: Tea time is at exactly Three o'clock every day. The entire crew is to attend on pain of being hung by their toes from the mast in their Sunday bests, which is what they wear to tea. Here is a pictograph of it."

The pictograph basically showed the crew in clothes similar to the one in the Hyrulean painting, only much more frilly and with many more bows in their hair. Also everyone in the pictograph was miserable, save for Aryll and Sarah, who seemed to be enjoying themselves "AH-HAH-HAH-HAH!" Eddy grabbed the pictograph, relishing at the near-suicidal looks emanating from Niko and Senza, "This is gold, Double d! I wonder how much copies of this would sell for."

"We'll do no such thing, Eddy!" Double d folded up the picture and stored it in his hat where nobody dared reach.

"New rule number two: The ship, formerly known as The Epona, shall henceforth be known as The Dolly Pooh-pooh, and shall promptly be painted pink when we get enough paint."

At this point Eddy was laughing so hard and so much it seemed soon he might choke to death on his own laughter. Finally he slowed down enough to utter a single line, "Wait till the Dazel-nut hears about this!"

"Rule number three: There are to be at least six raids a week against the many beasts of the sea, work starts at sun-up and ends at sundown. Pay will be distributed amongst the crew by effort and worth to the cause. Sure, the crew hates the rules, but since the pay has near-tripled they follow her anyway. Speaking of which, I sent you boys some rupees to help in your quest."

Eddy stopped laughing in an instant and dug into the envelope violently, pulling out a yellow rupee. "I LOVE YOU ARYLL!" he shouted to the sky as he shoved the stone into his wallet.

The pirates themselves are quite kind despite their roughness. Gonzo even gave up his hammock so I could have a place to sleep (Sarah took Tetra's room.) Niko's told me so much about you three, and so has Senza. I wish you the best of luck in your following adventure and hope we'll see each other again soon.

Your new Aunt,

Aryll.

"Letters for the Eds: One letter." The box continued after the Eds read Aryll's, "Postage due: 201 rupees. Will you pay?"

"Skip that one, Ed." Eddy replied, still feeling the weight of his wallet, "Think of all the jawbreakers we could but with th-" Suddenly Eddy whipped around, hearing the sound of rupees falling into a hollow place. Ed was gleefully dumping the contents of the 200 rupee wallet into the mailbox slit while Eddy gaped. "You're welcome!" Ed announced, before Eddy could finally say something.

"ED YOU IDIOT!" Eddy shouted, Launching for his neck, "DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO WASTE MY MONEY A BILLION TIMES SINCE WE FIRST MET? WELL, DIDN'T I?" While Eddy strangled Ed Double d pulled out one more stashed rupee and fed it into the box, "Well, we put this much money into it, might as well see what it is." It spat out a letter with the word "Tingle" scrawled even more poorly onto it than Aryll.

To the Esteemed Mr. Fairy person,

Thank you very much for your purchase; Enclosed is an IN-credible chart.

"I don't care if he enclosed the freaking Holy Grail!" Eddy shouted, "When I find him, I'm gonna-"

"That's it!" Double d shouted, pointing at the text, "This chart will Show you where you can find the Triforce Charts. I want you to use it to find lots of them – they are my favorite kind of charts!" Double d removed the IN-Credible chart and opened it, which showed the same basic design as any chart anywhere, save for several pictures of charts on several charts. "This one on the private oasis should be an easy one to reach." The Eds piled onto their miraculously-fixed boat and warped to the tower of the gods and sailed south, all the while Eddy grumbled over the lost rupees.

"This island smells like fresh-cut spring flowers, spewning over a babbling brook with a hint of lemon." Ed drooled while Double d peeked over the edge of the mesa-like island. "I do believe you're right, Ed. The island is practically choked with flowers and lemongrass, and that waterfall pool looks absolutely stunning."

Eddy, who had just devised an anchor with the iron boots and grappling hook, jolted up in shock, "Lemongrass?" He pushed Double d and Ed aside and stared at the small territory, which looked for all intents and purposes like the ideal island getaway.

"So, that chart did say this island, right?" Eddy asked while Ed chased a pretty butterfly on shore.

"It's the only island in the E5 coordinates on the map, which strikes me as odd since all islands and archipelagos tend to fit into only exactly one coordinate each despite-"

"And the chart's probably just inside that cozy little hut, right?"

"That'd be the first place I'd check."

Eddy sat there for a moment, staring at the oasis, then he raced onto the island, shouting "This is gonna be easy!" all the way there.

"Eddy, wait!" Double d shouted after with Ed following behind, "You can't just barge into someone's home and demand a chart from them. That's stealing, not to mention an infringement on the right to privacy!"

"Oh, oh, and-"Ed added, ripping up a patch of lemongrass and using it as a model of Eddy, "there could be a horrible Re-dead horde waiting inside, ready to scream away the songs of the demented to paralyze you and eat your insides in a casserole dinner!" Ed gave an odd, half-snort-half-scream and dramatically ate the clump of sod, saving the lemongrass head, "Like so." He added before eating the lemongrass itself.

"Ok first off: Ed, you're crazy. Second, there's no one here, and with an island as nice as this who needs locks?" Eddy reached for the handle of the door, which had an ornate carving of an old man in a butler's pose, "I'm sure they won't even miss it, come on you stupid door!" Eddy shouted, turning, pushing and pulling on the door.

"Unhand me you ruffian!" the door shouted before Eddy lost grip and fell back onto the porch of the hut.

"You know what?" Double d turned to his friends, "I'm not even going to question this. The only mystery I can call upon is why my hat can't talk yet!" an awkward silence settled before Ed broke it by poking the hat and offering, "Maybe it's just shy."

"Forget the hat!" Eddy shouted before banging on the door with his fists, "Let!" Smash, "US!" Smash, "IN!" Smash!

"Enough!" Shouted back the door, "keep your filthy, mischievous hands off me you scoundrel!"

"Eddy, let me." Double d got between him and the door and said in a reasonable voice, "Sir, it is imperative to the fate of the world that we enter. Inside this home lies the chart that will lead us to the power to defeat the most evil man alive. Please, we beseech you; allow us inside for only a moment."

"No, I cannot allow it!" the door replied, "The only one allowed inside this cabana is the master, who resides on Windfall. And since you are no sort of master, I will not accept you in."

"Master?" Eddy fumed, grabbing Ed by the ankles, "I'LL GIVE YOU A MASTER!" He jerked Ed upwards and swung him violently at the door. "Ding-dong!" Ed chimed as his body painlessly made contact with the door. Eddy and Ed repeated this smashing and ding-donging process three more times before Double d stopped them, "Gentlemen, please! The door is sentient!" Eddy dropped Ed and glared at Double d, "You're just jealous your hat can't talk!"

"Be reasonable Eddy, using Ed as a battering-ram is unproductive to our ends and will likely do permanent damage to Ed's spine!"

The other Eds mulled over Ed's inability to feel pain before Ed mumble, "Gee-It sure is boring around here."

"I suggest we look for the owner of this cabana, explain the situation to them and plead for entrance. With any luck we will be-"

"BACK TO WINDFALL!" Ed picked up his two friends and carried them to the boat.

"The cabana's owner, you say?" Lorenzo was standing in front of one of the photos in his gallery, which contained the very cabana the Eds just visited, "She's Miss Marie, she owns the schoolhouse on this very island. Why do you ask?"

"Umm . . . well, it's kind of a funny-"

"We're conducting a survey!" Eddy added before Double d could say anything about the Triforce or Hyrule.

"Well, good enough reason for me! You'll find her school across the square from my shop, to the right."

"Thank you Lorenzo!" the three Eds made a beeline for the door before Lorenzo called out to them again:

"Don't forget, you promised to send Tingle back to Windfall so that we may punish him for escaping. We're counting on you!"

"It's on our list of things to do before the disclaimer/closer chapter." Double d replied, gently closing the old oak door of his shop, "Eddy, why didn't you want me mentioning the Triforce?"

"Isn't it obvious?" He replied as they wandered up to Miss Marie's school house, "If the Triforce is the sacred power of the Gods, then telling anyone about it could start a gold rush! Anyways, why would a Kanker open up a school of joy?"

"Oh, come now Eddy! Surely there could be more than one person named Marie in the world; we're living proof of that!" And yet, Double d froze at the door, fearing an obvious trap. He could feel the walls and bushes outside the schoolhouse staring at him (He didn't know at the time that these eyes were the eyes of pre-pubesant boys, but the feeling was still there). The other Eds could feel it too.

"Alright, on the count of three, we shove the door open. If we so much as smell a Kanker, we make a break for it." They didn't hear another boy in the bushes say nearly the same thing a few seconds later. "1 . . ." Counted off the Edds

"1 . . ." Counted off the younger boy in the bushes a second later.

"2."

"2."

"3!" The Eds shouted, tossing the door in and dashing inside before slamming it shut again.

"3!" the other boy reacted a second too late, catapulting himself into the closed door with three other boys in the group. "Darn it! They out foxed us!" said a boy who looked rather like Chouji from Naruto for little to no reason.

"Hey, don't sweat it!" Said another boy who to be honest could easily pass as a girl, "They can't stay in there forever. Din knows we couldn't."

"Now it's just a waiting game," Said the one who seemed to be the leader, or just the Irish stereotype of a street-wise cap sporting ten year old, "When they come out, we'll get 'em. Jun-Roberto, get us some Jawbreakers, this could take awhile."

The Eds tumbled into the small classroom and landed in a pile at the feet of an older woman, who looked like the exact opposite of Marie Kanker in every possible way. She had fluffy looking pink hair that was done up to look a giant butterfly and the only blue on her were her eyes and copious amounts of jewelry. She was also in her mid forties and quite cheery, "Hello children, welcome to Mrs. Marie's School of Joy!"

"School of joy?" Double d looked around the classroom, noticing painting children had made and a few basic math problems on the blackboard.

"I don't think I've ever seen your faces around here before, my young scholars . . . are you new pupils?"

"Well, uh . . ." Double d trailed off before Eddy replied,

"Actually, we're cabana inspectors!"

"Cabana inspectors? Aren't you boys a little young to be going into people's homes and grading them on cleanliness and design."

"Yes, yes we are."Eddy responded with a bored yet confident glaze in his eyes.

"Well, obviously you've come to me because my cabana's door butler stopped you from entering, am I right?"

"Yes," Double d finally found something to say, "and it's vital that our inspection is done without delay, lest we lose our jobs."

"Well boys, I'll be frank with you." Mrs. Marie sat down in a child sized chair, "That door is not just my butler, he's also my husband."

"Oh, well . . . that's interesting." Double d mumbled.

"Why did you marry a door?" Eddy said loudly and bluntly.

"Co-ol!"Ed grinned.

"The problem is, I'm getting older and going to the Cabana gets harder and harder every year. I'd much rather stay on this island and teach children they ways of joy, creativity, and uniqueness."

"Sounds good to me!" Eddy replied, "But we still need to make that inspection on your house, so wadda ya say?"

"Listen, I'll make you a deal: I'll give you the cabana deed if you do three things for me, first by sending my husband to Windfall so we can enjoy our golden years together."

"Creepy old-" Eddy began to mutter before Double d elbowed him, "We'd be happy to ship him over in the most luxurious manner possible. What's the next stipulation?"

"There's this delinquent gang of four young boys who never listen to a word I say. Even though I wait patiently for those boys to show up for class, they never come. It's as if they don't want joy in their hearts!"

"Ok, so let me guess," Eddy replied, "You want us to give them a good straightening out, the whole stay-in-school chat and all?"

"At least talk to their leader, Ivan. I'm sure if he began enjoying school, the rest would follow."

"Fair enough," Double d turned to his comrades, "Shall we start with this, due to our proximity to the request."

"Let's move 'em out!"

"Figures all the good teachers live on Windfall." Eddy said cynically, "With Sturgeon, it was always, "Eddy, wake up! You're missing our discussion on bowline knots." And "Eddy, I hope you brought enough jawbreakers for everyone in the class!" and "Eddy, be careful with that gunpowder! Lord knows I've lost enough manuscripts from your hand."

"Oh, come now Eddy! Surely Sturgeon wasn't that bad." Double d replied, not noticing the children closing in on them.

"Well he was good for a laugh," Eddy elbowed Ed, also ignoring the gang before him, "Hey Ed, remember the time we gave him an El Mongo stink bomb for his birthday?"
"Yeah, his house smelled worse than my basement for a year!"

"Man, those were good tim-" Eddy began before Jun-Roberto pinned him to the ground. "Uncle, UNCLE!" he shouted, not expecting it. At the same time Jin, the Choji-like one, tied up Ed with a yo-yo. "THE KIDS NEXT DOOR ARE ATTACKING!" Finally Jan, the androgynous one, leapt on to Double d from behind and knocked him to the ground, "D-don't make me use the power to repel evil on you."

"Shut it, sock hat!" hissed Jan.

"That's my line!" Grumbled Eddy under the weight of Jun-Rob.

"So, you're these big-shot Eds I've heard about?" Asked Ivan, still savoring his Jawbreaker, "You bimbos don't look like you could save a rupee to save your life, let alone enough for a jawbreaker; That Kevin guy was a rotten liar."

"Kevin set us up?" Eddy shouted, "That lousy, two timin-"

"We're not working for him," Ivan corrected, "Killer bees work alone. He just warned us about some "Master Conmen" who were fixing to pillage this village. Well, two can play at that game!"

"Actually, we are interested in another endeavor," Double d said, easily shaking of Jan, "You're name is Ivan, correct? You're teacher has requested we speak to you on the benefits of education."

Ivan sneered, "Ooh, a nice guy! You know what, I'll make a deal with you: if you beat us in a round of hide-and-seek, we'll go back to Marie's classes no questions asked. But if we win, you give us all the rupees you've somehow managed to collect. Deal?"

"Are you nuts?" Eddy growled, pushing aside Jun, "We've already managed to lose 201 rupees today, I'm not putting anymore on the line!"

"Oh sure, save the rupees!" Double d said sarcastically, "It doesn't matter that the fate of the universe could ride on this game or that innocent lives depend on us finding all the triforce pieces within the next two installments of this fan-written crossover of two interesting and nostalgic pieces of fiction, so long as your rupees are safe."

"That was painfully meta." Ed added.

"So what do you guys say?" Ivan asked again, "Do you wanna play?"

"No!" Replied Eddy, clutching his remaining rupees.

"Yes!" Double d corrected him.

"Maybe." Added Ed, who just wanted something to say. The Eds began a shouting match on the matter then:

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Maybe."

"No, NO!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Maybe."

"Yes!"

"Maybe."

"No, NO, NO!"

Eddy and Double d were now wrestling each other over the matter.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"It flew real low," Ed began to say before Ivan shouted at them all.

"Enough! Look, we're all going to hide, and you can decide if you wanna come find us or not. No going indoors or leaving the island. Later!" Ivan and the gang took off leaving Eddy and Double d to wrestle around some more.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"N- Where'd they go?" Eddy asked, regaining himself, "And Ed, how'd you get untied?"

"I ate the yoyo!" He announced, "Discreetly."

Double d sighed, "I'm going to track them down, before either of you try again to derail our plans to save the world from chaos and brimstone. Or worse: Make me lose my composure in public." He stormed off, leaving Ed and Eddy in the Windfall square.

"That kid needs to sort out his priorities!" Eddy said, wandering off as well.

"Ok, so if I was a materialistic thug, where would I hide in a game of hide-and seek?" Double d said out loud, to angry to think to himself, "I think the better question here is: where would Eddy insist we hide?" He thought back to scenarios in a completely different setting without magic or fighting and remembered an ideal bit. "Of course: the fake bush hideaway!" Double d turned to his left and poked his head into a bush. "Bleck, Real bush." He coughed up a few leaves and turned to the bush to his right. Before he could poke his head into this one, Jan shot out from behind it. "Wait, Please!" Double d chased after him, catching him in a corner where a ramp begun, "young lady, Please! You don't understand! If you don't start attending classes again your teacher, who is apparently a machanophiliac, won't allow us to enter her cabana and take the Triforce chart hidden inside; and if we don't do that the triforce of courage will never come into completion and the dark lord Ganondorf will take over both this world and the hidden Kingdom underneath this one and likely kill it's princess, who I'll admit is a very charming and unique young woman in her own right, and will likely lay waste to us all." Double d was almost in tears at this point, "Please facilitate the end of our quest so that we may prevent such an occurrence."

Jan looked at him funny and scooped up a hand full of dirt, "Ok, I only understood one thing in that entire sentence, and let me say: I'M A BOY!" Jan threw the clod of dirt at Double d and ran away.

"OK THAT'S IT!"Double d wiped the dirt off his face and ran towards Jan, who was heading towards a large tombstone-like object near a cliff. "I am tired of people ignoring what I say so they can take the easier option!" Suddenly Jun Roberto shot out from behind the spot. "Perfect, I'll be able to catch two birds with one- EDDY?"

"Double D!" The two Eds crashed into each other, with both Killer bees between them.

"Finally caught ya you little brat!" Eddy remarked, pinning the boy down.

"Wait a minute; you're trying to find them too?" Double d asked, "What about Ed?"

"I'm a cowboy, bang bang!" Ed replied loudly as Jin dragged him to the spot by the corner of his shirt. He let go once Eddy caught hold of Jin and he was officially caught. "Does that answer your question?"

"Yes, but why? I thought you didn't want to risk your rupees."

"We changed our minds when we remembered all that stuff you said a second ago. And by the way: I knew it!"

"Eddy, this fic is contrived enough without you positioning yourself as a shipper on deck."

"Hey guys, I see the last one!" Ed had the Telescope out and was pointing it at a tree. Sure enough Ivan was sitting on top of it, twiddling his thumbs.

"Excellent! Now all we have to do is find some method of reaching the top of the tree and retrieving him safel-"

"Fly Double d Fly!" Ed Grabbed Double d and threw him at the tree. "Ed, not again!" Double d shouted as he sailed over Ivan and landed on the dock next to the King of Red lions. "Double d, what on Earth happened?" the living boat asked him when he landed. "We were playing hide and seek to get the triforce chart and Ed chucked me at a tree."

"Oh . . . interesting."

"Ed, you're gonna get someone killed tossing them at tre-"

"Hey guys, you're ba-" Nazz began to say before Ed caught her too. "Fly, Nazz, Fly!" and he tossed her at the tree too, not even getting close to the treetops. "Ed, QUIT DOING THAT, IT'S NOT WORKING!" Eddy seethed, not wanting to make any more of a spectacle than they'd already made, "try something else."

"Oh, I know!" Ed rolled up into a ball and began barreling down at the tree.

Meanwhile at said tree, Double d was trying his best to climb up to Ivan on branches barely thicker than his arms, "Ed, why must you be so . . . nrgphgtlbl . . . impulsive?" He panted pulling himself from a branch two feet from the ground to one three feet from the ground. "I don't know how Johnny can-"

"Da-Da-Ling!" Ed howled as he crashed into the tree, knocking Double d and Ivan off.

"Case in point." Double d sighed laconically before noticing Ivan tumbling to earth. He held out his arms to catch him but because this series survives primarily through comedy Ivan missed his arms and landing on Double d's head, knocking both to the ground.

"I AM THE FASTEST THING ALIVE! Chilidog, please!" Ed chorused once all seemed well.

"ED, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Double d and Eddy growled at him once he regained his footing.

"We're trying to find these kids, not kill them!" Eddy added, grabbing hold of Ivan before he could make his escape, "All right kid, we've found all four of ya. Now wadda ya say, go back to class, or do we have to make ya?"

"Nah, you don't have to make me do a thing," Ivan replied, shaking Eddy's grip on him, "a killer bee keeps his word. Bees, assemble!" The other bees formed a line before the Eds, "Henceforth we promise to attend all our classes until we graduate . . . or die in our desks."

"Well, that heartwarming declaration was darker than it needed to be," Double d added, making his way towards the school of joy, "Shall we tell Mrs. Marie of these developments?"

"Double d's advancing the plot!" Ed followed behind with the others, where Eddy smacked him behind the head for alluding to the real world.

"Ah, you three young lads are back, and you brought those lads I told you about with you, how nice!"

"Mrs. Marie, we've come to tell you that we've made a change, repented if you will. From now on we will attend your classes as per usual." Ivan replied before the Eds could.

"Oh, marvelous!" Marie replied, hugging Ivan, "There's so much to teach you boys, such as the joys of flowers, and puppies, and clouds, and clouds with puppies in them and-"

"Yeah, that all sounds mighty keen, ma'am," Eddy interrupted, "But we still have the issue of our job, so why don't we put this on hold for a moment, hm?"

"Ah yes, you three young lads." Marie pulled the cabana deed from a random spot in the air, "You've already made my work easier and agreed to my 'personal errand', so I've decided to trade you the cabana deed for only 20 joy pendants."

"You got a deal, and only because you didn't ask for rupees," Eddy smiled and snapped his fingers, causing Ed to grab Double d by the ankles and shake him until nineteen joy pendants.

"You know, you could've just asked!" Double d said, pulling himself to his feet.

"Only nineteen?"Miss Marie collected the pendants anyway, "I'm afraid this deed is worth no less than twenty joy pendants."

"I don't believe it!" Eddy took the spoils bag and dumped the contents onto the floor of the schoolhouse, "I could've sworn we had a bajillion of these things."

"We did, but you sold forty-one of them to Beedle."

"Oh come on, Freedle offered to buy them for twenty rupees a piece, how could I resist?"

"Uh, fellas?" Ivan held out an extra Joy Pendant, "I found this in the tree. Go ahead and give it to her, as extra thanks for saving my life."

"Woohoo!" Eddy took the pendant, tossed it in the air, grabbed on to the Cabana Deed and only jerked it away when the pendant landed perfectly around Miss Marie's neck, "Thanks kid!"

"Remind me to ask how you did that." Double d calmly mumbled as Eddy pulled him and Ed out of the room and back towards the Cabana.

"Tootaloo for now!" Ed Called back behind them.

"So, you three ruffians have come to vandalize this old door yet again." The door to the Cabana chastised the Eds.

"Yeah, sure, call it that." Eddy pulled out an arrow and began undoing the hinges to the door.

"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING? CEASE AND DESIST AT ONCE, YOU RUFFIAN!"

"Please sir, we don't mean you any harm," Double d pulled out the Cabana Deed, "The previous owner sold us the deed on the condition that we ship you to her current residence on Windfall Island. We hope you understand."

"Oh." The old door tried to grin but his stoic face was frozen solid, "Well it's about time! You have no idea how lonely it gets on this island when she only comes to visit once or twice a year. I've resorted to starting a book club with the local fauna." {Cut to a chipmunk and a seagull sitting atop copies of The Canterbury Tales, both copies soiled and missing pages due to their "owners" mistreatment.}

"Great, you'll love it at your new home." Eddy undid the last hinge and handed the door to Ed, "Ed, take this guy down to the mailbox. If they need postage, get it from the grass."

"I never knew you could use grass clippings for postage." Ed commented, picking up the door and heading for the mailbox.

"Alright, Triforce chart, triforce chart," Double d and Eddy began searching the inside of the house while Ed forcibly shoved the living door into the mailbox, "Eddy check in those potted plants, I'm going to check behind that giant picture of Jimmy."

"Yeah sure, I'll- GIANT PICTURE OF JIMMY?" Eddy wheeled around and stared at the picture, which showed a giant picture of Jimmy smiling sweetly.

"It appears to be a finished image of a puzzle on the other wall, perhaps when solved the triforce chart will be awarded to us." Double d began shifting pieces of the puzzle while Eddy sat back and snarked.

"Ok, first she marries a door, and then she takes a picture of Curley-Q, blows it up into a giant wall decoration, and builds a puzzle around it. The laws are really slack in this world, aren't they?"

Double d moved the final piece into place and waited for the triforce chart. And waited. And waited.

"I bet it's a dud." Eddy muttered, "Try it again!"

Before Double d could touch the puzzle pieces again, the familiar "Da-na-na-na-na-na-na" Of a solved puzzle broke their thoughts.

"That's odd, nothing seems to have happened."

"Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na- SPIDER ED, SPIDER ED,"

Ed climbed up and down the grappling hook line, which was hanging from a hook in the center of the ceiling, "Here comes Ed on the hook line, but his name's not Ed, It is SPIDER ED, SPIDER ED-"

"Boy, the migranes I have to put up with." Eddy commented, tuning out the rest of Ed's song. Double d had been looking around the room, trying to find the source of the finished puzzle, when he noticed the fire had gone out in the fireplace.

"Eddy, Ed's done it!" Double d made his way towards the fireplace, "The Triforce chart is down there!"

"C'mon Ed."

"-your hand, SPIDER ED- WHOA!" Ed was pulled off the line by Eddy and down into the hole in the fireplace.

"Gee, this is a lovely place to keep treasure," Eddy waded up to his chest in water, "Grimy water, lots of rats, and I'm pretty sure this is all part her septic tank."

"Can't you be optimistic for once, Eddy?" Double d asked, trying to discern which path to take, "At least there aren't too many monsters down here."

Ed, who had been walking ahead of the other two, stopped and pointed at a row of screaming Readeads, "I warned you about the readeads, Eddy! I told you guys!"

"AAAAAAGH" The other Eds screamed and dragged Ed away, stumbling into a deep yet dry chasm as they escaped.

"Boy that was close." Eddy remarked before sniffing the air, "There are rupees down this way! Come on, boys." He slid into a tight chasm at the bottom of the wall with Double d and Ed following behind. Several wrong turns and several rupees later they came upon a room with nothing more than a ladder in it. At the top of the ladder a couple of floor switches and metal grates blocked the Ed's path before Ed disposed of them with his skull hammer. On the other side of those sat two more chasms and two more crawlspaces. This process repeated itself far too many times to be enjoyable before falling into one chasm with two readeads in it. One grabbed Double d and began chewing on his head, "HOW UNSANITARY!" he screamed while Eddy tried to get a clear shot at the monster. "Ed, do something!" he shouted. Ed's brain sprung to life as he grabbed a vase by the wall and chucked it at the redead's head, "Be gone, Dead-head!" the redead dropped Double d who took the chance to hack it to pieces and Eddy the chance to fill the other with arrows. When the dust, and rupees, cleared they noticed a hole where the vase had been. "SECRET TUNNEL!" Ed shouted As Eddy and Double d climbed into it.

"I really do hope the chart is over here, I'm starting to get tired of finding nothing but rupees."

"What do you mean, 'getting tired of rupees'?" Eddy replied as they entered another room, "Who gets tired of rupees?" they climbed up the ladder into a marble room with a red and a blue circle on the floor.

"Great, now what?" Eddy asked as Double d pulled out the wind waker.

"Well, I can't be sure, but due to the pinwheel symbol on the tiles I think we need to play the wind's requiem."

"Oh goody!" Ed squealed as Double d played, "^ "

"^ " Replied the Gods themselves, causing a treasure chest to reveal itself to the Eds. Double d reached in and pulled out a Triforce chart.

"Finally!" Eddy undid the string holding it shut and tried to read the writing, "I think it's in Chinese."

"I remember Tingle mentioning his ability to decipher charts."

"Yeah, well, knowing him he'll charge us an arm and a leg for it."

"It seems we have no choice, Eddy."

"Everybody say 'Jamaica!" Ed added as they left their cabana (Literally titled Eds' Cabana) behind for Tingle Island.

"My lord, does Tingle actually call that bizarre obelisk his home?" Double d wondered aloud as the dizziness wore off from warping.

"Geez, it looks like some maniac carved it and painted it while having a demented nightmare." Eddy added while crawling off the boat onto the rocky shore, "That ladder looks like it's going to be a nightmare to climb." Ed grinned, realizing that he was needed, he bit on to Eddy's back collar "Hey!", and Double d's "Ed STOP!" and grabbed hold of the laddar. "Offui ho!" Ed remarked, which is exactly what one sounds like with two t-short collars stuffed in their mouths and try to say "Up we go!"(I should know; I tested this in my free time.) "Ed you got spit all over me!" Eddy barked once they made it to the top.

"Noooo, so unclean!" Double d whined, trying to wipe the spit off his shirt. While he was doing that, two men dressed similarly to Tingle (One in white and one in pink) came up behind the Eds and addressed them, "Hey, are you two the ones who threw that dreaded contraption of my brother's into the ocean?" The pink one, Aka Ankle, asked.

"Eeyup!" Ed replied, "It made a nice dent in the clouds over Dragon Roost."

"Sweet! I told you they'd save us!" The white one, Aka David junior, high-fived Ankle.

"Save you from what?" Eddy asked, "King crazy the third?"

"Oh, but you boys don't understand," Ankle sighed, "Tingle may seem kind, if not a bit loopy, but he is a cruel and greedy man. I grew up with him as my eldest sibling, where he learned to steal whatever he could from me through brute strength and treachery. And when he got older, he embezzled me out of every rupee I ever made, to the point that the only way I could ever pay off his debt is to spend the rest of my life turning this giant head of his in a circle in a ridiculous pink costume."

"And then he caught me seven years ago," David Jr added, "I was working at my dad's law firm at the time and Tingle was not only wanted for embezzlement but for theft, bribery, blackmail, extortion, insurance fraud and being the most annoying man alive. The minute I landed on his island to give him his court order, he burned my boat and put me in this tacky white shirt. Ever since I have been working for him against my will. My Dad doesn't even know I'm alive, I'm worked to death almost every day, and I stink to high heaven!"

"That's awful!" Double d replied, "Why does he have you turn this contraption, anyway?"

"WE DON'T KNOW!" the two replied, throwing their hands in the air, "Just save us, PLEASE!"

"Alright, we'll save you," Eddy marched over to where Tingle was sleeping, "But first he needs to decipher some charts for us."

"Yay!" Ankle and David Jr. embraced and began singing, "We're gonna be free, we're gonna be free!" several times before going back to work.

"Hey Tingle, Wakey wakey!" Eddy slapped Tingle a few times before he woke up and noticed Ed. "Oh! Mr. Fairy! I've been longing to see you, sir!"

"Hello Mr. Sillyman!" Ed replied calmly, once again forgetting who Tingle was.

"What should we play?" Tingle said in a slightly creepy tone, "what do you want to play?"

"Actually Tingle; we've come here to enlist your services in deciphering maps."

Double d interrupted with the Triforce chart.

"Hmmmmmm? That fragrant, musty scent! Sir! You have found a chart!"

"We know, just decipher it for us!" Eddy shouted, disturbed by Tingle's phrasing and attitude towards his friends.

"Oh yes, certainly, I'll decipher it for 398 rupees!"

"WHAT? 398 RUPEES?" Eddy screamed.

"Hey, take it or leave it buddy!" Tingle replied.

Eddy grumbled, but handed over the rupees anyway, "just wait until we finish beating up Ganon-dork!" Eddy growled. Tingle took the chart and set it on the ground, "Tingle! Tingle! Kalooh-Limpah!" Tingle shouted, throwing confetti, "Become . . . Readable!"

Double d picked up the chart and found that the picture was of the Coast of Outset Island, complete with directions and coordinates, "come on guys, the Triforce is close to home!"

"398 rupees for that, what a gyp!" Eddy commented before sauntering back to the boat.

"Ed, a little more to the left!" Eddy directed from the top of The King of Red Lions, "not your left, THE BOAT's left! Jeez, you know how the great sea works; can't you help us out here?"

"Hey, it's not like I have sonar!" TKoRL responded, "Besides, deciding how best to retrieve the triforce shard is in and of itself a test of your wisdom." Double d shot up with an idea, "we could position ourselves on the beach and in the water at precise locations in accordance to the treasure marker and use trigonometry to find the direct location down to the nearest-"

"BORING!" Ed and Eddy said in unison, "Ed, just drop it at random, we'll find it eventually."

"Why do I even bother?" Double d wondered before being splashed by a wall of water.

"'allo Eddboys!" Rolf landed on a beach ball before them, "How goes your quest to set right what once went wrong?"

"It's going great, stretch," Eddy lied nonchalantly, "Ed, try the other side!"

Rolf climbed onto their boat and peered over Ed's shoulder, "You seek a treasure beneath the waves, yes?" Rolf asked the three.

"Yes, and it would be much easier if we used proven mathematical theorems!" Double d replied as Ed drew up the crane.

"Have no fear, ulcer-loving-Edd-boy, Rolf shall aid your efforts without the need of wimpy numbers and addition," Rolf grabbed onto the end of the grappling hook line and dove into the water, "Slahouur!" the line went down rapidly as he swam deeper.

"Good lord man!" Double d yelped.

"I didn't even know we could do that," Eddy added, "how long can he stay down there?"

"I don't know; his swim meter sank with him!"

"Rolf's a guy?" Ed added, before the whole boat jolted twice.

"He needs to come up," Double d realized, "Hurry Ed!"

Ed retracted the line as fast as he could, using all his strength, as the line was heavy. When it finally surfaced Rolf stood triumphantly on the front of a large metal chest, eliciting cheers from the Eds.

"Rolf, how on earth did you do that?" Double d asked, helping Ed bring the chest and Rolf onto the boat.

"Anything is possible when one is the son of a shepard," Rolf replied during a transition, "Rolf is now on a bird!" Rolf's giant, red, duck-billed and totally awesome bird screeched before soaring up into the stratosphere, "Farewell for now, Subdivided-Edd-Boys!"

"Bye Rolf!" Ed replied before jumping up and down with excitement, "Open the box, Double d, open the box!"

"Now calm down Ed, I'm working on it," Double d struggled to open the lid as the music swelled and eventually paused itself when he got it open to allow him to catch his breath, before returning when he held up the shard.

"Ooooooh!" Ed gushed before Edd stored it under his hat.

"Well, that's one down, seven more to go."

"Seven more?" Eddy asked, growing visibly nervous, "Double d, can I borrow a calculator?"

"I don't see why not," Double d replied, retrieving a calculator from his hat, "Gained a sudden interest in math?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!" Eddy quipped, punching in numbers before screaming,

"3,184 Rupees?

I hate everything."

Indeed, it would be a long, mostly offscreen, quest.