A/N: okay.. so i got this idea suddenly.. i don't know why... i even finished this chapter before chapter 19 of Journey Of My Life.. .
try reAd this .. it's not one-shot .. and i still have no idea how many chapters it will be.. maybe it's combination of my friend's experience and mine.. :) or maybe it's the way i forgot all my problem, pouring it into writing..
I was lying on my bed, looking at the ceiling above me. My right hand was closing my eyes. Although I seemed peaceful on the outside, but my mind wasn't. I had lots in my mind and it started to drive me crazy.
A knock on my bedroom door pulled me out of my thought. I shot up from my position eagerly and opened the door while smiling widely, thinking it must be him.
Maybe he had re-think of what he would do tonight.
But then my smile slowly faded when the door finally opened.
"Hi." I forced a smile at my best friends. "What are you doing here, Rose, Al?"
Even I could feel my shoulders slumped.
Both of them hugged me suddenly.
"What is it?" I asked them, slightly confused.
"We've known what happen." Their voice was weak.
I froze for a while when the words finally sank in. They knew. They knew that my best friend and the only man I loved was going to profess his love. To someone else. Not me.
For a moment when I thought it's him who knocked, I let myself believe that he had re-think about it, maybe he finally realize that she's not as good as he thought. Maybe he finally realized that I was the one who had always been beside him.
I started to sob myself, and I could no longer hold it. I felt my body dropped to the floor, both of my best friends lost their hold on me causing me to fell in a sitting position.
"Bella!" I was sure Alice was shrieking loudly but her voice was too weak in my ears.
"Bella, please, don't be like this. What will he say when he find you in this state later tonight?" Rose asked me.
Yes, he's my best friend, the man I loved and he's my roommate in this apartment.
I couldn't let him see me like this, I was supposed to be happy for him. I would be happy if he was happy. That's what best friend meant to do.
"I can't face him like this. I can't. Can I sleep at your place?" I looked at Alice with puffy red eyes. It's better if I slept over at Alice's place. Rose was living with Emmett, her fiancé and my brother. Alice's and Rose's parents were living in the different state from us. My parents died when I was still 14 and since then, Emmett was the one who took care of me. Not long after my parents died, Rose's parents who had been my parent's best friends for long time, adopted me and Emmett. Rose and I never separated since then. And so did Emmett.
"Of course, Bella. Of course you can, anytime." Alice said and smiled softly at me.
I smiled back. At least I had my best friends beside me.
"I'll sleep over at your place, too." Rose said suddenly.
"But, Rose, what about Emmett?" I asked her.
"He's an adult. You need me more than him now." Rose said and stroked my hair.
"Thanks, thanks God that I still have you." I hugged both of them.
"She's sleeping." Rose said on the phone. "No, she's okay. Nothing's wrong with her. Alice asked us to sleep over at her place."
Rose glances at me for a while, before concentrated on talking on the phone again.
She sighed. "For the last time, Edward, she's okay, nothing's wrong with her. She had had her dinner and she's sleeping now."
Rose stopped for a while, listening to what Edward said.
"Maybe your phone wasn't active just now." Rose said. "Or maybe you're too busy to even care for your best friend." Rose sneered at the last part.
I shot up from my lying position and looked at Rose with wide eyes. I shook my head furiously at her.
Rose's face soften, "Nothing, sorry for snapping at you just now. I have lots in my mind."
"What news?" Rose asked again after silent for a while
Her face turned cold again and this time she answered him in a real cold tone.
"Congratulation to you and bye now."
She snapped my phone shut and held it strongly that I could see her knuckles whitened.
"What's wrong, Rose?" I asked her and got up from the bed.
I shook her shoulder lightly as she massaged both side of her forehead with her left hands.
The voice of the door being opened made me turned my head.
"What happened?" Alice asked, clearly confused as she saw Rose's expression.
I shrugged and turned to Rose again.
"What happened, Rose?" I asked her again.
She moved out from my grasp and sat on the bed.
"Rose, please. Tell me. Did something happen to Edward? Is he okay?" I asked her frantically.
Alice was now sitting beside Rose on the bed while I kneeled in front of Rose.
Rose's eyes were watering when she looked up and her eyes met mine.
"Something happen to him? Does something happen.."
"Bella." She cut me off then she hugged me.
"Does he…" Alice started to say, but with Rose nodded her head, Alice stopped her sentence.
Alice's intuition always right. But, what could have happened this time?
"Edward.. I .. I must go home now." I said and was going to let go Rose's embrace.
"Bella.." Rose finally held me at an arm length and looked me in the eyes.
"If only he knows who's the best for him. If only he's not this stupid." Rose stopped again and wiped her tears that fell from her eyes.
"I know he'll regret this, very much.." Alice said.
"What is it? Don't you want to tell me what happen?" I asked them.
Alice hugged me this time."I know you're strong. You're strong enough to know that.. Edward finally dates Tanya."
Silence filled the room.
"Oh." That's all I said after a while.
Both of them looked at me like I was crazy.
"That's good. He knows what's best for him and obviously, I'm not the best for him." I said and laughed without humor.
"But, Bella"
"Alice, I'm okay. I've cried enough since I left that apartment and came here." I said and got up.
"Bella." It was Rose this time.
"I'll go and take a bath." I said, ignoring what they're going to say and walked to my bag to take my things then go to Alice's connecting bathroom.
I knew they were staring at me, wondering about my reaction about this news.
I put my things on the counter and looked at my reflection on the mirror.
I saw a very calm woman with long brown hair and brown eyes were staring at me, her face was pale and I could see that her eyes were red and puffy.
But inside the calmness, her mind, her brain couldn't work properly, that she didn't even cry when she heard the news. Her mind was jumbled. But the worst of all, her heart was broken, shattered into pieces and it couldn't ever be whole again.
I sighed and got into the shower, without even bothering to undress. I adjusted it to cold water.
The cold water felt good when it fell to my hair, down to my face and my body. I wiped the water from my face. I didn't know, was it my tears or pure water.
I hugged myself tightly.
It must be my tears, because I could feel my body shook and I could hear my own sobs.
I leaned to the wall, not feeling able to stand up without support. My body slowly slipped down until I found myself sitting on the cold floor. The water still drenched me and my clothes.
I pulled my knees and hugged them, burying my face on them.
4 years. I've known him for 4 years. Since the first time I needed to move out of my old apartment and I heard that this man at this apartment need roommate, I didn't know why I felt like I must go and try looked at that apartment myself. Since the first time I saw him opened the door and looked at his face for the first time, I didn't know why I felt like my life wouldn't be the same again. Since the first time I stepped my feet at the apartment, I felt like I belonged to the apartment and I would always be there forever.
But the feeling was wrong. It was true, at first. But when he started to meet Tanya 1 year ago, the new secretary in his office, everything seemed wrong. He began to talk about her often and all I could do was listening what he said. Smiled when I felt he needed me to smile, laugh when he needed me to laugh. But my smile and my laughter never felt right for me or my other best friends and brother in that case. They could see something was wrong with me, but not him.
I stayed like that for a quite long time, causing Alice and Rose knocked the door frantically followed by their yelling.
I ignored them completely and didn't move from my position. I shut the voices around me until I felt my body being shook.
I felt two arms wounded around my body. I looked up and saw Alice was looking at me in the eyes while crying. She was wet too now that she's under the pouring water just like me.
"Please don't be like this. We better hear you shout and cry then like this. You can tell us everything." Alice said.
I just looked back at her. Getting no reaction from me, Alice hugged me and buried her head at the crook of my neck.
I stayed motionless, staring blankly at the wall. I felt the water stopped, Rose must have closed it.
Two hands again were wrapped around my waist. "Bella, I know you're strong. If he's not for you, then I believe God will give you one who's far better than him. All you need to do now is forget him and live your own life. Forget all of your feelings to him. It needs time, lots of time, I know. But someday, at one point, you have to smile again, with or without him."
Alice nodded slowly, supporting Rose's sentences.
A sob escaped from my lips. And then another sobs came out and I couldn't help myself but cried while my friends were hugging me.
Rose and Alice helped me to get up while they kept supporting me, afraid I'll be falling if they didn't hold me.
"Now, change your shirt or else you'll be sick." Rose said softly.
Alice took my clothes and put them on bed, and she went to take hers and went to bathroom.
"I'll go out and make you hot tea." And with that she got out.
Still sobbing and tired, I changed my clothes and finished just the time when Rose got in.
"Here." She said. I took the cup from her and gulped it slowly.
Alice got out then, holding two towels in her hand.
So, while I drank my tea and calmed myself down, they helped me dried my hair.
"Now, off to bed. I know you're really tired." Alice said.
I nodded my head and laid on the bed, slowly drifting to sleep.
so, how is it?
tell me..
reviews appreciated! :)
luv,
Steph