With thanks to my beta reader Roa1

Although this is a 'stand alone' story it does follow on from 'Realisation Revisited', which is follow-up to 'Realisation' (both stories are on this site). If you haven't read the two stories already it might be better to read them first.

Realisation III– At the Guest House

Richard and Craig sat side by side in the small bar of the guest house enjoying a drink together. They had arrived that morning and made contact with the local police. They'd discovered, to their delight, that the case had been solved while they were still airborne. Now they had a chance to relax for a while and take a look around the local area. Tremayne was arranging for them to fly home that evening and they were making the most of the unexpected few hours break.

"One of us should ring Tremayne and check the arrangements," said Craig.

"I'll do it," replied Richard, "you order us another couple of drinks."

Craig had almost finished his drink when Richard returned looking very worried.

"What's wrong?" asked Craig.

"Everything's wrong," replied Richard gloomily, "Tremayne couldn't get us on a flight until tomorrow afternoon."

"So, what's the problem? We just get an extra day's holiday that's all, sounds good to me."

"The problem er," Richard cleared his throat, "the problem is that we are going to have to share a double room."

Craig sat very still, his body tense, then he smiled and relaxed visibly.

"Very funny, you almost got me there. You already told me Tremayne changed the booking, remember?" he said, laughing.

"It's no joke; Tremayne was so sure we'd be going back tonight that he cancelled the rooms. I've just been to reception now and they've already re-let one of them. I've been arguing it out, that's why I've been so long, but they can't do anything about it. It's the double room or nothing."

Craig just stared at Richard, disbelief in his eyes.

"Oh, come on, it's not a big deal is it? Not really? Let's get out of here, get ourselves a decent meal and make the best of it," Richard said.

Craig fought a brief battle against the combination of hope and panic that he felt and said,

"OK, let's go."

Craig

Craig stood in the tiny room they'd been allocated. Richard had gone down the corridor to the bathroom that they were sharing with everyone else on their floor and Craig was left alone wondering if there was any way out of this situation. It wasn't that he didn't want to share the bed with Richard, if circumstances had been different he couldn't think of anything better, but as things stood it was going to be torture. He looked across at the bed and saw that it wasn't even a full size double. How the hell was he going to lie there all night, so close to his friend, and not be able to touch him? To add to the turmoil in his mind he was still clinging to the tiny hope that maybe, just maybe, Richard reciprocated his feelings. He decided that the best thing to do would be to try to drop a couple of hints and see if his friend picked up on them. Having come to a decision he sat down on the bed and waited for Richard to return.

Richard

Richard stood in the bathroom thinking hard as he brushed his teeth. He wondered if there was any way out of this situation. He didn't mind sharing the bed with Craig, but his friend was obviously uncomfortable with the whole idea. Richard wondered why and, suddenly, the answer dawned on him. Craig must have had the same experience he'd had. Of course, that explained everything. Poor Craig, he thought, he must have believed I was thinking I was in love with him, in the same way I got the distinct impression that he was thinking that he loved me. Then I turned up on his doorstep – no wonder he was tense. He thought back over the stilted conversation they'd had and realised that nothing he'd said or done would have dispelled the impression. He'd been too busy worrying about whether they should clear the air and discuss how Craig felt about him - or rather how he'd thought Craig had felt about him - he corrected himself mentally. The realisation didn't help Richard decide what he should do now though. He'd always found that the main drawback with telepathy was its unreliability. You could never be sure you'd interpreted it properly. Richard didn't think he could face another attempt at a discussion with Craig after yesterday's awkwardness, especially as he still couldn't be sure he had the facts straight. He decided that the only thing to do, under the circumstances, was to find a way to make it crystal clear to Craig that he wasn't in love with him and that he only wanted to be friends. Having come to a decision he returned to the bedroom.

Craig

Richard walked into the room and picked up the newspaper from the top of his suitcase. He climbed into the bed and proceeded to do the crossword.

In spite of this clear lack of interest on Richard's part, Craig decided he should at least try to carry out his plan.

"Can I help you with that?" asked Craig, moving nearer so he could see the crossword. The only problem with that tactic was that, being so close made him want to snatch the crossword from Richard's hands, hurl it across the room and try to get his friend interested in him instead. It took some effort but he managed to resist the temptation.

Richard tilted the paper away from him, so he could no longer see it properly.

"Mmm, maybe in a little while, wait until I get stuck," replied Richard, who appeared to be concentrating hard.

This wasn't looking promising at all; maybe just moving closer had been a bit too subtle. Just in case Richard needed a bigger hint he made an excuse to touch him.

"Stuck? With all these brains?" teased Craig, laughing as he touched his friend gently on the temple.

Richard didn't reply; he seemed very engrossed in the crossword.

Craig had to admit it seemed a total washout; it must have just been wishful thinking on his part when he'd thought Richard might be interested in him. He decided to have one last attempt.

"Aw come on," said Craig, "it's boring just sitting here."

Richard sighed, took a pair of nail scissors from the bag he'd placed in the cabinet next to the bed, and neatly clipped the crossword out. He handed the rest of the paper to Craig and gave him a look which said - 'now do stop bothering me'.

Well that couldn't be much clearer, thought Craig, he's not interested and I'm just going to have to learn to live with that.

Richard

As Richard glanced through the crossword clues he realised that it was a much easier puzzle than he was used to. He was going to have his work cut out to feign an interest in it for long.

"Can I help you with that?" asked Craig, moving nearer so he could see the crossword.

Richard panicked, thinking that Craig would see how simple it was and he tilted the paper away so he could no longer see it properly.

"Mmm, maybe in a little while, wait until I get stuck," replied Richard, hoping that he was giving the impression he was concentrating hard.

"Stuck? With all these brains?" teased Craig, laughing as he touched his friend gently on the temple.

Richard didn't reply and pretended to be very engrossed in the crossword.

Why had Craig touched him? He thought about it for a moment; then it came to him that his friend must be testing him out. Never a great one for talking about feelings, his friend was trying to find out - in his own way - if what he suspected was true. Well, this was one test Richard was going to pass; there would be no reason at all to believe that he wanted to be anything more than friends.

"Aw come on," said Craig, "it's boring just sitting here."

Richard had to admire his friend's thoroughness. How could he make things absolutely clear with no room for misinterpretation? Ah yes, he had it. He sighed, took a pair of nail scissors from the bag he'd placed in the cabinet next to the bed, and neatly clipped the crossword out. He handed the rest of the paper to Craig and gave him a look which said - 'now do stop bothering me.'

Craig

Craig took the newspaper from Richard and sat down on the only chair in the room pretending to read. Every so often he stole a glance at Richard who was still struggling to finish his crossword.

That must be one hell of a difficult crossword, he thought, I've never known him take so long. He was desperate for Richard to put down his paper and lie down and go to sleep; then he could stop worrying about giving himself away by blurting everything out.

Craig wondered how he was going to get through the night; it seemed to stretch before him endlessly, hours and hours of frustration. He debated with himself whether he could convince Richard that he'd fallen asleep in the chair and just stay on it all night. But it was such a small, uncomfortable chair that he was sure Richard would think that very odd. Although, not as odd as if he woke up to find me on top of him, he thought wryly.

It crossed his mind that maybe he could wait until Richard fell asleep then climb in next to him, snuggle up close and just hold him. If his friend woke first, and caught him out, he could always pretend he'd been dreaming and had put his arms around Richard thinking he was the girl in his dream.

Oh God, now he was being absurd. His friend would never fall for such a lame line as that one and, even if he were likely to, it wouldn't solve the problem. He didn't think he'd be able to stop at just putting his arms around Richard, he wanted much more than that. He forced his mind away from that subject.

He glanced across at his friend again. How adorable he looked, frowning slightly as he battled to complete his puzzle. As he watched, Richard started to suck the end of his pencil. Craig stared, mesmerised, unable to tear his gaze away and afraid that if he moved he'd be unable to stop himself from leaping across the room and giving his friend the shock of his life.

Richard glanced up and their eyes met. Craig groaned, leapt up and fled from the room.

Richard

Craig took the newspaper from him and went to sit on the only chair in the room to read it.

Richard was really struggling now; he'd filled in almost all the spaces in the crossword and was terrified Craig would offer to help him finish it again. He wasn't sure what to do once he put the puzzle down and he clung to it like a lifeline. He was longing for Craig to get into bed and go to sleep so that the danger of one of them putting everything into words was averted. Richard wasn't quite tired enough to fall asleep yet and couldn't bear the thought of having to lie awake waiting until his friend finally decided to get into bed.

He was aware that Craig kept glancing over to him and wondered what his friend was thinking about; it was obvious that he wasn't really reading the paper, despite his pretence.

Richard bent his head to the puzzle again, there were only three clues left and he already knew the answers. He wondered how long he could get away with waiting before filling in each answer. Somewhat bored with looking at the same three clues he absent-mindedly started to suck the end of his pencil.

He glanced up, saw his friend watching him, and their eyes met. Craig groaned, leapt up and fled from the room.

Craig

Craig stood in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. What the hell was he going to do now? How was he ever going to be able to face Richard again? He couldn't stay here all night but neither did he feel he could go back to the bedroom.

He was startled by a knock at the door. He heard a female voice asking if he was going to be long as she would rather like to use the bathroom herself. He splashed cold water over his face and walked out as casually as he could. The lady standing outside was very pretty but he hardly noticed; his mind was too full of Richard. She gave Craig an admiring glance as he emerged and leant against the door smiling up at him.

"Thank you," she said, "I'm sorry if I rushed you, it's not easy in these small places with just one bathroom per floor is it?"

"No, it isn't," he said, absently.

"Are you staying here long?" she asked.

He didn't seem to have heard her but she found him very attractive so she decided to have one last try.

"If you don't know your way around this area, I've been here before and I'd be happy to show you around," she offered, hopefully.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," he said, and turned away from her.

She shrugged her shoulders and went into the bathroom.

What on earth was he going to do? He couldn't hang around in the corridor all night but he didn't want to have to try and explain to Richard why he'd bolted from the room either. He stood there, in an agony of indecision, until he heard the bathroom door being unbolted and knew he had no choice but to return to the bedroom before the lady came out and found him outside. She might think he was waiting for her, which would complicate things even further. Inspiration came to him, he'd tell Richard he'd suddenly felt violently sick and that's why he'd rushed from the room.

He hurried along the corridor to the room he was sharing with Richard, took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked in.

Richard

Richard sat in the bed astounded, almost paralysed with amazement. He didn't know what to think, especially as he could have sworn he'd picked up some rather surprising thoughts from Craig just before he dashed out so unceremoniously. Maybe he hadn't got it wrong after all. God, this was confusing.

This is ridiculous, he thought, I can't go on like this, I'll have to discuss it with him. He pulled back the blankets and swung his legs onto the floor. He intended to get Craig out of the bathroom, sit him down and try and talk out this mess they'd got into.

Full of determination he opened the bedroom door and looked out. He saw Craig standing in the corridor chatting up a very pretty young lady; he retreated into the bedroom and shut the door as quietly as he could.

Once again he'd got it wrong. Craig must have seen the lady in question earlier on and been waiting until he heard her footsteps in the corridor so he could 'accidentally' bump into her. Now he came to think of it he couldn't understand why the obvious explanation for his friend's behaviour hadn't occurred to him sooner. It was so clear now. Craig had been sitting there pretending to read the paper just waiting for his chance. That's why he'd left the room so precipitously; he'd wanted to catch her before she went back to her room. It also explained the thoughts he'd picked up on as Craig had rushed out. Of course he'd had only one thing on his mind, but it was the lady he wanted not Richard.

He went hot and cold when he realised how close he'd come to making a complete fool of himself. Just imagine if he'd sat Craig down and said:

"I know you've fallen in love with me."

God, he'd have never lived that one down. He climbed back into the bed, leant back against the pillows and breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Just then the door opened and Craig walked in.

Craig

Both men spoke at the same moment,

"Sorry if I disturbed…..." said Richard

"Sorry I rushed …." said Craig.

"You first."

"No, you."

"Look it's very late and I, for one, could do with some sleep. So why don't we just forget it and call it a night," said Richard.

"OK," said Craig, not moving from the spot.

Was there no way out of this situation? He didn't think he could go through with it.

"Craig, the bed's over here," Richard joked.

"Yes. Yes I know, I er..."

Oh God, what was he going to do now? Richard looked unbelievably gorgeous in his blue silk pyjamas. If he got into bed beside him he was sure he'd lose his self-control completely.

"Look, if there's something else you want to do just say so," Richard said. "it's not as if it's that much of a surprise is it?" he laughed.

"Something else I want to do?" echoed Craig faintly.

He could hardly believe his ears, could Richard really have said that or had his imagination gone into overdrive?

"Oh, come off it Craig, surely you don't think I haven't guessed, you weren't exactly subtle you know."

"And you, er you're OK with it?"

Craig couldn't seem to move, he was so astounded by this turn of events.

"Of course I am, it isn't that outrageous, is it?" asked Richard.

Craig just stared at his friend, he felt rooted to the spot.

"For goodness sake Craig, how many times have you gone off with a woman you've just met as soon as a mission is over? And I can hardly blame you this time, from what I saw she's very pretty. What time have you arranged to meet her?" Richard asked.

Richard

Both men spoke at the same moment,

"Sorry if I disturbed…..," said Richard

"Sorry I rushed …." said Craig.

"You first."

"No, you."

"Look it's very late and I, for one, could do with some sleep. So why don't we just forget it and call it a night," said Richard.

"OK," said Craig, not moving from the spot.

"Craig, the bed's over here," Richard joked.

Richard wondered why his friend seemed so reluctant to get into bed. Then light dawned, Craig must have made an arrangement with the lady in the corridor.

"Yes. Yes I know, I er..."

"Look, if there's something else you want to do just say so," Richard said. "it's not as if it's that much of a surprise is it?" he laughed.

"Something else I want to do?" echoed Craig faintly.

Why was Craig being so coy, he wasn't usually reticent about his conquests?

"Oh, come off it Craig, surely you don't think I haven't guessed, you weren't exactly subtle you know."

"And you, er you're OK with it?"

Richard wondered why Craig had bothered to ask the question. They had an unspoken agreement that if one of them wanted to have a romantic interlude then, as long as the mission wasn't compromised, it was fine to go ahead.

"Of course I am, it isn't that outrageous, is it?" asked Richard.

Craig just stared at his friend, he seemed to be rooted to the spot.

"For goodness sake Craig, how many times have you gone off with a woman you've just met as soon as a mission is over? And I can hardly blame you this time, from what I saw she's very pretty. What time have you arranged to meet her?" Richard asked.

Craig

Craig was devastated. For a brief moment he'd thought his dreams were about to come true then, with just a few words, all his hopes had been dashed.

My God, how easy it is to get things wrong, I nearly leapt on him then, he thought. Christ, it's a good thing he mentioned what he really meant when he did. I'd never have lived that one down.

Aloud he said, "I'm not meeting her."

"Then why don't you get into bed?" asked Richard.

There was nothing he could say to that without giving himself away so Craig remained silent.

"There's something wrong isn't there?"

Everything's wrong. I want you so much and you aren't interested and now you're expecting me to get into bed beside you and act as though I feel nothing, thought Craig.

"No, nothing, nothing at all," Craig said aloud.

He still made no effort to approach the bed.

How could he bring himself to cross the room and climb in to bed? He couldn't do it. Oh God, what was he going to do?

"Craig, what's wrong?" asked Richard gently.

"It's nothing, it's just…oh nothing."

I want to tell him, but how can I? If I do, at best, our relationship will never be the same again and at worst, he'll hate me.

"Please Craig; if there's something wrong let me help."

Craig heard the concern in Richard's voice and looked directly into his eyes.

Richard

Now what had he said wrong? Craig looked mortified and upset. There was a longish silence while Craig seemed to be mulling something over.

"I'm not meeting her," he said, at last.

Richard was totally confused, if his friend hadn't made alternative plans why didn't he just get into bed? Why was he standing there looking as though his world had collapsed?

"Then why don't you get into bed?" asked Richard.

Craig looked as though he wanted to say something but he remained silent.

"There's something wrong isn't there?"

"No, nothing, nothing at all," replied Craig.

He still made no effort to approach the bed.

Something must be seriously upsetting Craig to make him behave this way. Richard was growing increasingly worried about him

"Craig, what's wrong?" he asked gently.

"It's nothing, it's just…oh nothing."

Richard's unease grew; he wanted desperately to help his friend. What on earth could be wrong with him?

"Please Craig; if there's something wrong let me help."

Richard looked into Craig's eyes, hoping to find a clue to what was troubling him.

Their eyes met. Craig was shocked to see confusion, concern and sadness in Richard's beautiful blue eyes. It broke something in him. He backed away as far as he could and stood across the room from Richard.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to feel this way about you, but you don't need to worry, I'd never do anything to hurt you. We can just try to go on as we always have. In time we'll get used to it. I understand that you can't feel the same way as I do but it's OK, we'll get through this. Our friendship…" his voice faltered slightly, "…friendship is just too important to lose. Please say it'll be OK. I can't bear to lose you."

To Richard there was only one sentence in the whole speech that mattered.

"Who says I can't feel the same way?" he asked.

Jumping out of bed he crossed the room in two strides and, taking Craig into his arms, he kissed him while holding him as if he'd never let go.

The two men lay side by side in the bed feeling relaxed and happy. They'd been awake all night and had about an hour left before they had to leave for the airport. Neither of them wanted to get up.

"So, all that worry about having to sleep together and, in the end, we didn't actually do any sleeping," laughed Craig.

Richard laughed along with him then grew serious.

"I'd like to sleep with you," he said, stroking Craig's hair, "really sleep I mean, not er…"

"I know; you don't need to spell it out. I'd like to sleep with you too," responded Craig.

"I feel a bit cheated that I didn't get to wake up with you," said Richard.

"We still have an hour left, how about we set the alarm and take a short nap?" suggested Craig. Then he smiled wickedly. "On second thoughts I've got a better idea."

"Craig, we only have an hour and we haven't packed."

"We just need to find our pyjamas and throw them in the case along with our shaving gear, it'll take two minutes, if that," said Craig.

"It might take you two minutes but I like to pack my stuff properly and I want to have a shave before we go."

Craig took Richard's hand in his and raised it to his lips.

"You have beautiful hands, such lovely long delicate fingers."

He kissed Richard's fingertips, then ran his tongue down his palm and across the inside of his wrist.

"Craig, not now, we have to get ready."

Craig leant over to kiss Richard's ear then, very gently, nibbled his neck. At the same time he slid his hand downwards and slowly caressed his friend's abdomen, moving his fingers around in tiny circles.

Richard resisted briefly, all the time getting more and more turned on. Then, overcome with desire, he groaned, grabbed Craig and rolled him over onto his back.

"You see these lovely long delicate fingers?" he asked, holding his hands in front of Craig's face.

Craig felt his pulse quicken.

"Yes," he replied, a little breathlessly.

"You'd be amazed at what they can do."

Craig moaned with pleasure as Richard proceeded to demonstrate exactly what he meant.

Two days later Tremayne summoned them to give them instructions for their next mission. After the briefing was over he said,

"You'll be pleased to hear that we've secured two single rooms for you. In view of the fact that you made it very clear you weren't happy about sharing last time we've gone to a lot of effort and additional expense in order to organise that for you. I hope you appreciate it," he said.

Richard and Craig looked at one another and burst out laughing.

"Sometimes I think I'll never understand you people," sighed Tremayne, and opened the door for them to leave.