Rating: G shading to PG for the mention of nudity and ladies' undergarments.

Disclaimer: The settings and characters of Bleach belong to Kubo Tite and his publishers.

Summary: Chad, Renji, Yammy, and Rukia while away the time in Hueco Mundo.

A/N: Find the first installment here.

See enychan's micro-comic based on the first installment here.

With kind regards to girlsareweird and nehalenia , who first requested a second installment, and with a shout-out to enychan for illustrating the previous installment. You may blame her for Charlotte Coolhorn.

"Cancun. Slinging back Coronas," said Chad. He was lying in the shade of the tower, one arm flung behind his head and the other covering his eyes, and looked to be settled in for the duration.

"There's this bar in the Rukongai," said Renji dreamily. "With really, really hot waitresses. Rukia, where would you rather be right now?"

"Don't care," said Rukia, who was sharing the shade with Chad, bent over a notebook. "Doesn't matter. Here's fine."

"Well, I had a nude barbecue planned for this weekend," said Yammy.

There was a long moment of fascinated silence. Yammy said, "Don't look at me like that. I was planning to invite you guys."

"A nude...barbecue," Renji mused. "What is that, exactly?"

"You know--a barbecue," Yammy said. "But nude. Everyone together in the altogether."

"What are you having?" asked Chad.

"Oh, you know. Barbecue food."

"So...everybody who comes is naked?" asked Renji.

"Yep."

"Really, completely, bare naked? Or just mostly naked?"

"What kind of food?" asked Chad.

"Meat, mostly," said Yammy. "I mean, it's a barbecue."

"So if I came, I would have to be naked?" Renji asked.

"Yep."

"Will there be steak?" asked Chad.

"Yep."

"See you there," said Chad.

Yammy looked at Renji. "What about you?"

"Will there be hot girls?"

"Halibel. Lolly. Menolly. Cirucce. Nel--"

"I'm in," Renji said immediately. "How about you, Rukia?"

"Busy," Rukia said, not looking up from her notebook.

"Shall we invite Ichigo and those guys?" Yammy asked. "They're just up at the top of the tower."

"Nah, don't bother," said Renji. "Main characters are always so stuck up."

"Excuse me? I'm a main character," said Rukia, looking up from her notebook.

"Yeah, me too," said Chad.

"Oh, you hardly count as a main character anymore, do you?" said Renji. "I mean, you're an original character, sure. But you hardly get any page time anymore. I mean, I'm more of a main character than you."

Chad cocked an eyebrow. "How do you figure?"

"Well, look at me. I've got a love interest—"

Rukia snorted. "In your dreams, buddy."

"And a rival—"

"Also in your dreams. Byakuya-nii-sama is so far out of your league you can't even see his league from where you are."

"And I get to fight the cool villains," said Renji, raising his voice over Rukia's. "Doesn't that sound like a main character to you?"

Chad chuckled.

"What, you think that's funny? What's so funny about that?"

"Nothing, man, nothing." Chad raised his hands. "You're definitely a main character to me."

Yammy rolled his eyes. But Renji looked pleased. He settled down next to Rukia and craned his head over her shoulder.

"What's that? Are you writing something? What are you writing?"

"A story," Rukia said, covering the page with her arm. "Go away and don't interrupt. I'm just getting to a good part."

"Hey, is that my name? Why is my name there?"

Rukia shut the book. "None of your business."

Renji pulled the book out of Rukia's hands, and Yammy pulled it out of Renji's. "Hey!" said Renji, but Yammy ignored him. He carefully thumbed through a few pages. "Your name's in here a lot,actually. What is this?"

Rukia rolled her eyes. "It's fanfic, if you must know."

"I'm starring in your fanfic! That's so cute!" Renji grinned. "See, that's a main character thing, starring in fanfic. Do I have a love interest?"

"You do, in fact."

"Oh yeah? Who is it? Is it you?" At Rukia's glare, her hurried tp say, "No, not you, of course not you. Is it Matsumoto?"

"Well, actually--"

"Yoruichi? That would be hot. Or what about Halibel?"

"To be honest, Renji--"

"Sleeping with the enemy--very provocative."

Rukia folded her hands neatly in her lap. "--your love interest isn't female."

For the second time in ten minutes, the sands of Hueco Mundo absorbed that particular vibration that is stunned silence. "You mean you're---you're---"

Rukia nodded.

"How can you be writing slashfic about me? Have you no shame? Have you no propriety? Have you no decency?" Renji looked thoughtful. "Who'd you pair me with?"

"Charlotte Coolhorn."

"CHARLOTTE COOLHORN? WHAT ABOUT TASTE? HAVE YOU NO TASTE?"

Chad started laughing. Yammy, looking intrigued, turned back to the beginning of the notebook. Chad had to stand on tiptoe to see over Yammy's shoulder, and he read aloud. "Charlotte slowly unbuttoned his vest, allowing the silky material to fall from his shoulders. With a little gasp, Renji bent his head and--"

"Stop that!" shouted Renji. "Rukia, this is ridiculous. I mean, come on. Charlotte Coolhorn? What are we going to do on dates? Compare shoes? Trade tips on applying eyeliner?"

"Great idea!" said Rukia. "I can see it now: tenderly holding hands as you walk through the shops--comparing notes on which colors go best with your eyes--stopping to spray perfume on each other--"

"Cut it out, Rukia!"

"Purchasing some sweet little pajama set--"

"I'm warning you, Rukia--"

"You know, they say a man only buys his lover clothes because he's thinking of taking them off," said Chad.

Rukia snickered. "Yammy, hand that over here, would you? I've got to get this down. Renji, this is the best idea you've ever had!"

"No! No! This is not my idea!" He made a lightning grab for the notebook, but Yammy put a big hand on Renji's face and held him out at arm's length. Yammy handed the book to Rukia.

"Maybe for their first date, Renji and Coolhorn can try on corsets," suggested Chad, grinning.

"Chad, please. I just ate," Yammy said. Renji lunged towards Rukia. Yammy absently put out an arm to hold him off.

"Rukia!" Renji howled. "Give me that!"

"No way," said Rukia, licking the tip of her pen. "I promised Nanao I'd have this finished for the next Shinigami Women's Association meeting."

"RUKIA!"