WARNING: I don't really know what to say for this. Semi-crack!fic, language, err… -points at title and nods- 'Nuff said.

Ejaculate

Harry Potter drank his pumpkin juice thirstily. He stared at Draco Malfoy hungrily.

Draco tasted like pumpkin juice.

Or perhaps his pumpkin juice tasted like Draco. No, that was silly. How could that be, he thought, as he left the Hall right after a flash of blond did.

oOo

Dobby stared at the monstrous off-white pile, which towered over him in the passageway below Hogwarts. He sighed happily, knowing that there was finally a use for all of this…stuff that kept piling up year after year.

He thought, really, what else were you going to do with it? For some godforsaken reason, you couldn't Evanesco it. Burn it. Put it in a sack and give it to that nice fat Muggle in the red suit once a year. Nope. Didn't work. Believe me, the house elves had tried. But now they had a new fool-proof method for getting rid of it.

Dobby considered it as giving back to the student body, especially to Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. After all, it was mainly their fault that the bloody pile had doubled in the past two years. Such adorable randy brats, they were.

As for the part of the pile that wasn't theirs, that was easily taken care off. The Headmaster had been complaining of the food being a little bland as of late. Dobby grinned. This stuff was anything but bland.

oOo

Harry groaned as Draco bit his neck and soothed it with his tongue. Draco lifted his head and panted, "Need you…right now. Pumpkin juice…tasted just like you. Want you so badly…"

Harry replied, "Ngh…" Which of course translated to, "Really? How interesting. Mine also tasted of your delicious essence."

Draco scrunched up his nose adorably. "It's funny, though. The rest of breakfast just tasted rather… bitter."

FIN. :]

A/N: I found this in the depths of my laptop. I wonder why I didn't post it earlier… :]