Hi! This is my first fanfic EVA!!! Plz review! Rememberz I do not own Fma! Hiromu Arakawa does! Who knows what I would have done with it if it was mine...

BTW...Manga based. Al has his body back and y'know, Selim Bradly's a hommunculus and all that...it's kinda based on brotherhood as well.

Once upon a time, two brothers skipped merrily off to see the Colonel and report about their FANTASTIC mission! They were so excited about this because they did their job so fantastically they might get a medal! Or get promoted to Colonels even if the younger brother wasn't in the military! They were thrilled!

…Ok, screw all that.

The truth was that their mission went fantastically…wrong. The Homunculi escaped, left a bunch of chimeras around and left them to tidy up said chimeras before they ate anybody's brains. Sooner or later, the country would be turned into a library of philosopher stones. And, if that wasn't enough, there's this psycho Ishballan that's trying to kill them both and hang their entrails on some random wall like a trophy.

…I was exaggerating. Just a little.

Anyways, they trudged along to the office and then they saw this absolutely GINORMOUS chimera, presumably a combo of Gorilla and Dinosaur DNA. (Dinosaur bone DNA. Dinosaurs don't go around trampling everything, you freak!)

"Holy crap!" Yelled Ed, and held his left arm over his right one, ready turn the Automail into a blade.

Al pulled on a pair of gloves with Transmutation circles sewn on it, not unlike The Colonel. Mind, Ed wasn't too thrilled about Al copying Mustang's ideas earlier that year.

The Chimera swung its mighty claws at Al, who just ducked away in time before he was killed. Ed wasn't faring much better. He was too busy trying to not die himself; now, that's a lesson for you, kiddies. Dinosaur tails are a deadly weapon. If there's a big, bad bully somewhere out there then raid your local museum. Or the weapon store.

Suddenly, there was this flash of blue alchemic lightning and a girl with pink hair and blonde streaks turned herself into a pink unicorn. The unicorn then leapt up and stabbed the chimera in its heart with a beautiful holy blade encrusted everywhere with beautiful jewels and also pairs of wings.

"Go in peace, pitiful creature." The unicorn said. "You do not deserve to be in this world."

And so, the Chimera was shone on by a beam of light from the sky and disappeared in a shower of pink sparkles.

Ed was speechless.

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........

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I rest my case.

"How...how the F*** did you do that?!" whispered Edward. "And now, when I wake up, it will be all a dream..."

"Sorry about my brother, miss." Said Al, after finally getting a grip on real life (Or, as real as FMA can get, anyway). "What's your name?"

"Oh!" Said the pink unicorn after turning back into a girl with a melodic vioce. "I am Sarah Light Pink Blossom Glitter Honey SparkleRose! Pleased to meet you, Alphonse Elric-sama! Do you want to hear my life story?"

"Um...actually, we..." began Al, but was cut short.

"You would? Great!" Said Sarah Light Pink Blossom Glitter...as she walked towards them in trance-like steps. Flowers and butterflies sprouted out of nowhere behind her. " So, i had a tyrannic father and an abusive mother! I was killed, but the Truth was so sad by the loss of such an innocent, pure soul who would have one thousand Philosopher Stones created from her soul ALONE that he revived me and granted me the gift of turning into a pink, sparkly unicorn!" Piped Sarah Light Pink Blossom...whatever. "Then Edward Elric-sama found me and fell in love with me! Then Mr. Mustang fell in love with me too, but I felt so guilty on cheating Edward Elric-sama that I commited Suicide and Truth revived me again! And you fell in love with me too, and you died, so I revived you and Edward Elric-sama wanted to kill you because he loved me, but I convinced you two to stop fighting but Mr. Mustang still loved me, so he killed me because he was jealous, and then he killed himself, and I revived myself and then him. I convinced everybody to be friends later on! Isn't that just fabby?" Then she attatched herself on to Edward's chest, which will later on have breathing difficulties.

What kind of parents would give her THAT kind name??!! Thought Al. Ed was too...occupied at that moment.

"Wait." Hissed Ed, after finally peeling Sarah Light Pink Blossom...So on's perfectly tanned arms off his neck (Because he needed to breathe.) "If you've revived people including yourself..."

"Five times." Said Sarah Light Pink...etc with graceful pride.

"...Whatever. But that means, you're an immortal, walking Philosopher's stone AND shape-shifting alchemist-chimera? That's impossible and against all logic! It defies every single law at least five times! Not even Father can manage that! And *Insert long list of science-y theory here.* So, leave us alone, you...you half-assed demented Homunculus!"

"Brother!" Scolded Al before he turned back to Sarah Light Pink... who was starting to water her sea-blue, ruby-red, amber-gold, emerald-green eyes. "Sorry, he didn't mean to..."

But Sarah Light...wasn't listening to the younger Elric.

"I'm no homunculus! You commited suicide and I revived you at the cost of ten thousand souls! Don't you remember?" She sobbed, her beautiful voice trembling. Then she turned to Al. "I revived you as well, Alphonse-sama! We went out together!" Sarah (yeah, I'll just call her Sarah now) grabbed Al's shirt and started strangling Al with her Fangirly Glomp of Doom.

"Don't you dare touch my brother!" Growled Ed.

"But brother...," Al managed to choke out.

"No buts! Every single thing she says is a lie! I haven't had a girlfriend in my life, neither have you! And we must have had known if we died!"

"It's all so fresh in my memory..." Sarah whimpered in a shrill voice as big pearly teardrops fell out of her eyes. "I could see you sacrificing yourself to save me from Envy...and he killed you, and...and then the Gate appeared, and..." She then carried on her terribly sad life-story in a high pitch while crying in the process of getting too emotional. Both Elrics were feeling extremely disgusted/scared/creeped out.

Ed tugged at Al's sleeve. "C'mon, let's scram. We won't stand a chance against her if she really is a Philosopher's stone, a fangirl AND a unicorn combined...Ok,emergency maneuver...three...two...one...wha...what do you mean you're afraid of her? Whatever, just do it! Three..two...one..."

The Elric Brothers split up into two directions and ran as fast as their feet carried them....while Sarah rambled on.

"Where are we going??" Panted Al after they met up in a nearby park shrub.

"To Mustang's office. I don't care if he taunts me with the S-word one hundred times, as long as he saves me from that...that thing. At least he'll be capable of that much." Said Edward, trying to give hope to his little brother.

"There you are!" Squeaked Sarah with angels chorusing in the background and levitated Ed off the ground. "Did I tell you that I have Telekinesis?" Then she giggled. Ed paled.

"Shit!" Screamed Ed. "Someone help me! Al, fetch the Bastard Colonel! I don't care if he taunts me with the S-word, or burn me to ashes! Just get him! Or anybody else! Even the Homuncoli...just get someone...anyone...except this...!"

It was too late. Sarah has tightened her grip. "I want to hug you, and squeeze you, and get married...do you luurve me?" After that, she pulled Ed into a romantic sunset where turtle doves were singing and butterflies fluttered everywhere behind her. Then the rain came down. It soaked everything except Susan and Ed who still had rays of sunlight beaming down on them.

Al ran away. Quickly. To Mustangs office.

But on the way, he found a cute little stray kitten. He picked it up and petted it before letting it curl up in in of his bigger pockets.

Pretty please review! The more you do, the more Sues we'll kill!

Fever:HELL YEAH! DOWN WITH THE SUES! MUAHAHAHA..........