That Backrub Scene – The Problematique

Jim is bone-meltingly tired.

His feet ache, his mind is buzzing with the lack of sleep, and still he knows he's got a few hours left before he can let himself pass out. Plus, he's got this terrible kink in his back that just won't leave him alone, and every time he turns to give an order it sends pain shooting up his spine.

Spock has noticed this, whith his eyes that observe and catalogue every one of the Captain's gestures in order to understand every single detail, every micro-movement of Jim's body, in oder to ensure the ship is not in danger of being run by a brain-addled, sleep-deprived, feverish wreck.

What other reason could he have for such intense scrutiny?

Dr McCoy's opinion differs from Spock's as to Jim's actual limit ("I don't have a limit, my pain threshold is more of a wide hallway, anyway!" "Shut up, Jim, and if your pain threshold is so great, stay still so I can inject this hypospray!"), but Spock understands better what it would mean for Jim to leave the bridge right now. He couldn't.

So while Spock watches for signs, Jim tries to focus his mind. He is rather pleasantly surprised to find that he can, more or less, and allows himself a tiny, proud smile. Then he turns (ouch!) and calls Yeoman Something or Other over because she's been looking at him with a PADD in her hands, clearly itching to have him sign it.

"I don't bite, you know. Usually." He teases, and she gives him a sweet, embarrassed smile and walks up next to him.

"If you could just sign here, Captain." She says a little breathlessly. Jim is amused, but professional.

Then he notices Spock get up from his station and walk around the bridge toward him.

"Anything from the landing party, Spock?"

Spock stands behind his chair and answers. "They should be sending up a report momentarily, Captain."

As the Yeoman takes back her datapad and Jim turns to talk to Spock, a particularly painful jolt makes him wince, something that Spock's sharp eyes obviously don't miss.

"Is something wrong, Captain?"

Well, it's too late now, so Jim decides to tell the truth. "I… ah, have this kink in my back…"

He arches said back with a groan, feeling the tense, tired muscles flex experimentally.

And then he feels fingers press against his flesh.

There's a thrill and a jolt and oh God he didn't mean it like that but Spock is touching him and oh, oh…

"…ah, that's it… a little, a little higher please…" It escapes his throat in a low moan before he even knows what he's saying, with the rush from the knowledge that Spock is voluntarily touching him, and it's Spock, and Jim's blood is fizzing with adrenaline and dopamine.

"…push… push harder…" His eyelids flutter shut for a second, languid, head almost lolling with pleasure, but then he opens them again, trying to remember he's on the bridge, and not alone.

It feels so fantastic, and he's really very exhausted, so he's not exactly responsible for what comes out of his mouth and he groans.

"…dig it in there, Spo-"

And suddenly he freezes.

Spock is standing next to him, with his hands behind his back as usual, and not touching him, which means those hands on Jim's back are not Spock's.

Of course not. Idiot. Why would Spock do that? A flood of embarrassment and frustration makes Jim snap more than he'd intended, and he quickly slides far from the Yeoman's touch, shrugging away her hands uncomfortably.

"Thank you Yeoman, that's sufficient."

Spock glances at him and Jim feels completely caught, and if he's blushing because of his first officer (and in front of said man) then he's gonna punch something, dammit, but Spock's expression is impossible to deschiper.

"You… you need sleep, Captain, if it's not out of line-" The young woman begins, her gaze darting between Jim and Spock in a rather puzzled, suspicious way.

"I have enough of that from Dr McCoy, Yeoman. Thank you." He really can't remember her name. Oh well, that's the least of his worries. Spock must be having the Vulcan equivalent to a freak out right about now, what with Jim going all sexually-depraved on him, moaning his name in the middle of the goddamn bridge, maybe he is going insane and he should sleep…

"Dr McCoy is correct, Captain." Spock says abruptly. Jim's eyes widen in surprise. Well, at least his First is still speaking to him. That's something.

He can't resist letting his gaze droop and lazily examine Spock's profile now that the Vulcan stands a little in front of him and can't catch him looking. The sight is a little bit like a balm for his wounded pride.

"After what the ship has been through in these past three months there is not a crewman aboard who is not in need of some rest."

Spock punctuates this statement with a pointed look at Jim, who rolls his eyes.

"Myself excepted, of course." The commander ads as an after-thought with yet another look, this one completely confusing Jim's already fried cognitive habilities.

And then the man has the ludicrous idea to just walk away.

Yeah right.

"Spock!" Damn, those tight black pants sure do your ass justice. "Hang on."

"Excuse me?"

"Wait. And don't lie to me. What do you mean 'myself excepted'? Of course you need rest."

"My Vulcan physiology-"

"Yeah, yeah, heard that before, but you do need to stop working sometimes. At least once a decade."

The corners of Spock's mouth twitch, and Jim mentally high-fives himself for making that happen.

"Yes, but at this particular time I am not tired. I do not need to sleep."

There's something wrong with the way that sentece is spoken, or inadvertently sounds. Seriously, it's just… is this all in Jim's mind? Spock seems to have a playful glint in his eye that is… confusing.

What the hell is happening now?

"Okay, Spock, listen." Jim stands up and walks up to his first officer, squaring his shoulders, feet slightly apart, in his most imposing Captain's stance.

"Here's the thing. I'm exhausted. Like, really, seriously, dead on my feet. And you need to speak plainly to me, or I'm not gonna get it."

Then he leans in so they stand very close and he can speak very quietly, and hopefully the rest of the crew will just ignore them (uh, unlikely). Spock looks slightly taken aback at this.

"So please, just this once, spell it out for me or it'll go right over my head."

When Jim licks his lips he catches Spock's eyes flickering to his mouth.

Well, well.

"Spock? You were saying you don't need to sleep?"

Spock takes a deep breath, chest rising and falling carefully. Jim's instincts are suddenly screaming at him to do something about this, something like declare that he is, finally, taking a break, and then dragging Spock off someplace and demanding a proper massage…

"I… was merely implying that I am able to remain awake and alert throughout the night."

"Oh. And was that an implication of anything else, Commander?" Jim asks, his voice friendly and his face as innocently naïve as he can make it (which, admittedly, isn't that much).

"I… do not understand your meaning."

"Sure you do."

"No… I do not."

"I think you must, Spock."

"No, I…"

Jim takes yet another step and feels his first officer's breath blowing gently into his mouth. His voice is quite casual, eyes polite, with just a hint of mockery. "Think long and hard about it, and I'm sure you'll come."

Spock's eyes widen and he sharply gasps, as a wonderful array of expressions chase themselves across his features.

"Well?" Jim slowly sucks air into his lungs, air that tastes of Spock.

"Perhaps this discussion would be better suited once you've rested, Captain."

Oh my, was that a contraction?

"Are you saying you'll tell me what you meant if I get myself off right now?"

Jim loves the panic in Spock's expression right now.

"If you get yourself off-duty?"

"That too."

Spock's revenge comes in the form of his next words, spoken in a low, promising tone. "Then I will do whatever you ask, Captain."

Jim gulps.

"Lieutenant Uhura." He calls, without turning around. "I'll be in my quarters."

"Finally." She says, smiling. Then she sees how Spock and the Captain are looking at each other and her smile wavers a little. "Ah… who has the conn in the event that, um, Spock also happens to leave?"

"Well since you asked so nicely, you can have the conn, Lieutenant."

"Great."

Kirk then leaves the bridge, followed by his first officer.

Once in his quarters he'll manage to convince Spock that if they have sex Jim will rest afterwards, so in a heroic, completely selfless act, Spock will sacrifice himself for the rest of the crew, and bravely save the ship by sleeping with his Captain.

Yeah that's right. Spock is totally noble that way *pointed cough*

Okay seriously people, what HAPPENED in the sixties? What… what kind of person could look at that scene and think: Oh yes, that's Kirk and Spock all the way, great friends who give each other massages or so Kirk seems to believe and "push, push harder" and "I don't need to sleep"!!!???

SERIOUSLY WTF ZOMG? (I have taken to adding a Z in front of OMG. What does it stand for? No idea. Zebra! It just sounds… funny) Gods, I love TOS and the oblivious obliviousness of their people :D

If you haven't seen the Scene, please go to your tube and just type "kirk spock backrub scene". It's, like, forty seconds of your life.

TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Believe me, I've only seen it about 1000000 times.