So here it is. My very first Katekyo Hitman Reborn fanfic. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. For two reasons. It was supposed to be a quick short story. And then it turned into this monstrosity. And I didn't have the heart to cut it down at all. So here it is!
Title: Only Time Will Tell
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Gokudera has loved one man his entire life. It didn't matter if he was loved back or not. And he would always love him. A story about how one man's love was finally recognized.
Pairings: 8059
Warnings: the length
This was getting ridiculous. Abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous. Gokudera Hayato never cried; in fact, he was pretty sure that the last time he shed a tear was when his mother had died, and even then, it hadn't been much. Crying never got anyone anywhere in Mafia or anywhere else in life. If you wanted something, you had to work your ass off to get it. Things weren't just handed to you like presents on Christmas morning. So crying was ridiculous. But, if he thought crying was so ridiculous, why the hell were there streams of tears leaking out of his eyes. Not that he was making a sound, but still, if any person were to pass by, Gokudera Hayato would look like a man sobbing his heart out. Which technically he was (minus the sound), if he truly cared at that moment to analyze his mind like he always did.
But enough about the hazards and uselessness of crying. It's always the reason why someone is crying that is far more important than the actual act. But in this case, Gokudera thought, the reason that I am crying is even more ridiculous than the act itself. In fact, I'd rather be crying mindlessly than crying for this reason. You see, Gokudera Hayato was crying over a boy. Not just any boy, but the one and only Baseball Idiot. This is pathetic; I'm twenty four years old for crying out loud and I'm sobbing like a prepubescent girl over her favorite broken doll. Maybe it was a mistake for Juudaime to appoint me his right hand man.
*Flashback*
"I like you." Stunned silence filled the room. Green eyes shifted warily across a pale face, taking in the tan boy standing across from him. For the first time in his life, Yamamoto had nothing to say, no slight laugh, nothing to respond to what Gokudera had just said. "I really, really like you. And I know that I may not show it in my actions, but I really care for you."
Silence filled the room again. In the back of his mind, Gokudera itched to drop a pin and see if he could hear it. Looking for the first time directly into the other boys eyes, he saw nothing but shock. Something began to press down on his heart as the silence grew longer. He fought it off, knowing that idiot was slow, and was probably processing the words. But soon enough, the silence grew unbearable. "Say something. C'mon Takeshi, please say something."
"I'm sorry." He finally replied. "I care for you as a friend, but I'm not interested in boys. But still, I'm sorry. I wish-"
"Stop. It's okay. I just," Gokudera paused so his voice wouldn't crack. Starting over, he repeated in a stronger voice. "I understand. I just wanted to let you know how I felt. I hope this doesn't change anything between us."
The relief on Yamamoto's face almost sent Gokudera fleeing to his room. Later, later, he told himself. "Of course Dera! It never meant anything to me. Nothing's changed."
If anything, Gokudera thought that just hurt more than the outright rejection.
*End Flashback*
"God dammit! How could he do that?" Gokudera yelled as he punched the wall of the corridor. "Nine years ago, he wasn't interested in boys. Nine years ago all he wanted to do was focus on baseball and school. And now! Why did I have to discover the one person I've loved for the past nine years, fucking another man into his bed?"
Damn, the tears were falling harder now. It was almost as if saying it out loud made it even more real. Shit, shit, shit, he thought, I have to get out of here before someone sees me. He ran through the halls of the Vongola mansion to his private room. There he lay, huddled in the furthest and darkest corner of his room tears streaming down his face. Slowly but surely, as his tears dried and exhaustion kicked in, he fell into a restless sleep.
When he came to, he found himself lying in his bed, blanket covering him. A groan and glance towards his bedside table told him that it was now 9:26pm at night and that Tsuna had been the one to find him. See me when you wake up, Tsuna had written. Gokudera groaned again, knowing that he would have to tell his boss the entire truth since Tsuna's intuition had gotten much better. Rolling himself out of bed, he stumbled his way across his room to his bathroom. Blinking at the sudden light, he peered into the mirror over the sink. I look like shit, he thought. After washing his face, he strode back into his room.
"Well," he said to himself somewhat rationally, even though all he wanted to do was to go and scream at Yamamoto, "what I need to do is let the Baseball Idiot go, once and for all. I need to move on. And what better way to do that than to go to a club. I just need another guy to make myself feel better."
This in mind, he hunted through his closet to find the perfect outfit for a night out. Just like every other night when he had seen Yamamoto with someone other than him.
An hour later found a clean and sexy-as-hell Gokudera walking into the Vongola Decimo's office. Wearing dangerous looking black boots, tight black leather pants, a loose, mesh tank top, an unbuttoned, silky, pale green shirt that did wonders for his eyes, his numerous rings, belts, and a couple of chains around his neck, Gokudera was dressed to kill. It was no wonder that Tsuna nearly choked on the coffee he was drinking. Only a solid thump from Reborn saved him.
"Gokudera-kun!" Tsuna spluttered. "Why the hell are you dressed like that?"
"Does Juudaime not like it?" Gokudera said worriedly. Dammit! I should've thought about how I'm representing the Vongola, dressed like this. "I can change if you want me to."
"No, no," Tsuna replied. "I was just caught off guard. Now, are you going to tell me why I found my right hand man huddled in a corner of his room, sobbing like his heart was broken?"
"With all due respect Juudaime," Gokudera replied. "I have it under control now. It's nothing that a night around town won't fix."
"Gokudera-kun…" Tsuna trailed off warningly.
"Please Tsuna." Gokudera replied. "It'll fix itself; I just have to give myself some time."
"Alright." Tsuna sighed. "Just don't come back too drunk." With that, he dismissed his Storm guardian, hoping that he would be alright.
"It's because of Yamamoto." Reborn spoke from behind him.
"I know," Tsuna whispered tiredly. "For someone so intuitive, he's too thick to see how much Gokudera still cares, and Gokudera's too scared to destroy what relationship they have."
The door to some hotel room slammed open at around 3 a.m. Two men fell onto the floor, their lips locked. Someone made a groan of protest at the hard landing, but it was lost to the kiss. Gokudera's green shirt landed somewhere on the floor as they made their way to the bed.
"F-fuck." Gokudera whispered as his chest was relentlessly attacked through the mesh shirt. Pulling the other man closer, he used a basic grappling move to land him underneath him on the bed. He glanced down at the nameless, flushed face under him. "Now, are you going to fuck me into until I can't walk, or am I going to have to do it myself?"
The next morning found Gokudera and some nameless man curled up together in bed. Slowly opening his eyes, Gokudera viewed the pale body next to him. Last night had been fantastic, but now that's exactly what it was, one night. Long eyelashes opened to reveal dark blue eyes. They blinked slowly as the eyes focused on Gokudera. Understanding the look in the pale green eyes, the other man made to get up. Sighing, Gokudera turned the other way to reach for his own clothes. Pulling on his pants, he grimaced at the feeling of wearing sweat soaked clothes.
The click of the release on a gun froze him in mid movement. Turning slowly towards the sound, he came face to face with a loaded gun. How the hell could he have missed it last night? Taking a closer look, he grimaced when he saw that it was his own.
"That was almost too easy." The other man smirked. "Who knew the Vongola's right hand man simply needed to be fucked nice and hard for him to pass out for a few minutes? Thanks to you, I now have a way to kill the Vongola boss."
Gokudera growled at the man as he lunged at him. One bullet to his shoulder threw him backwards against a wall. Now on his knees and drawing in shaky breaths, Gokudera glared angrily at the other man. He pressed his hand to his shoulder, hissing at the pain. He knew he had to bandage it soon. Glaring at the other man, he pulled off his green shirt and used that and one of his many belts to create a makeshift bandage that would control the bleeding to an extent. Standing in just his pants and a makeshift bandage, he attacked, only to be stopped by a gun held at his temple.
"I really don't want to hurt you anymore." The other man said. "You're my bargaining ticket. So get clean and get dressed. Sawada-san is going to have a wonderful surprise today."
Gokudera glared some more before wearing the rest of his belts. He realized that his Vongola box was still attached. And his Storm Guardian ring was also present on his finger. Whoever this assassin was, he had no idea what the Vongola actually used in their battles. The Vongola boxes were a highly guarded secret within the family. Just like the Ten Year Bazooka of the Bovino family, not many knew of the Dying Will Flames.
"I'm going to need to clean off the blood if you want to get out of here without raising suspicion." Gokudera growled. "Is that all right with you?"
The man acquiesce his request, allowing Gokudera exactly 45 seconds in the bathroom. That's more than enough time, Gokudera thought. I just need Uri out of the box. Summoning his flames, he gently opened the box, pulling a still sleeping Uri out. Poking her none to gently, he shushed her before she could yowl and claw at him. Pointing at his shoulder and at the door, he made a hushing noise again. Quickly washing his shoulder, he made his way out of the bathroom. "Who are you?"
The other man laughed. "That's right, I haven't introduced myself. My name is Giacomo. I am the Brusco family hitman."
"How exactly do you plan on getting into the mansion without alerting suspicion? A one man army can't defeat the Vongola security."
"That's exactly why I need you. You are going to be my ticket in."
"If you think that I'm going to let you get anywhere near that mansion, you've got another thing coming."
"Did you think that I was going in alone? This is going to be a full scale assault on the Vongola. And you, Gokudera Hayato, are going to be my trade for the Boss."
Fifteen minutes later, Gokudera and Giacomo stood just outside the Vongola mansion, three hundred of the Brusco famiglia men flanking them. With his hands handcuffed behind his back and his ankles shackled together, it was all Gokudera could do from falling over. He glared menacingly at the assassin. He had no idea how much fun it was going to be for Gokudera to take him out in a couple of minutes.
"Now," Giacomo said pleasantly, as if taking a walk in a park, "you're a smart man. I'm sure I won't have to explain this to you more than once. You and I are going to walk into the Vongola mansion, and you are not going to raise any alarms. If you do, I will put a bullet into your brain."
Gokudera sneered. "Do you really think that your pathetic plan is going to work? Our surveillance picks up things inside and around the mansion." Not to mention Uri probably already has everyone in their battle stations. I just need another five minutes before this entire famiglia is routed before they even step one foot onto our property.
"Your surveillance system is down. What do you think was being done last night? It will appear as if there is no movement on the grass. It's amazing how the most basic cut and paste techniques can take down the entire defense system."
"You underestimate us!" Gokudera snarled. Just another two minutes.
"Really?" Giacomo smirked. "Then how is it that I know your Mist Guardian is away on business? How is it that I know the women and children are at home today? And how is it that the rest of your guardians are away as we speak?"
3…2…1…"That's what you think." Gokudera smirked as all hell broke loose. Men swarmed out of the Vongola mansion, attacking just about anything in their path. A quick head butt was all that was needed to temporarily daze Giacomo. It gave Gokudera enough time to sidle towards his family, shouting for someone to help him. Two perfectly aimed shots at the shackles on his wrists and ankles were all that Gokudera saw of Reborn before the hitman slid back into the raging battle. Even as he shook his hands to regain some circulation, Gokudera had dynamite flying out towards the enemy. Laughing as the dynamite shook the earth he was standing on, Gokudera scanned the men for a certain assassin that was going to pay for his actions.
As he waded through the sea of men, Gokudera could tell that this battle was all but won. The Brusco family had been unprepared for a counterattack simply because they believed that there wouldn't have been one. Hearing the familiar swish of a sword, he made his way towards the sound. He arrived upon a clearing made by the one and only Baseball Idiot. For a split second, Gokudera took in the way Yamamoto's eyes were light up in passion as he swung his beloved Kintoki in the Shigure Souen style. Beautiful, he thought before turning towards the men that were closing in.
"Come and get it you fuckers." He snarled as men pulled out their guns. It's time to show them exactly why the Vongola are the most powerful family to exist. As he threw his dynamite at the enemy, his fingers itched to use his box weapon and set up his newest C.A.I system. But the Juudaime's orders were sound; there was to be no use of the Dying Will flames unless the enemy showed that they could use them as well. The C.A.I system can wait until my next spar with the Princess, he thought savagely. He spied the glint of a gun out the corner of his eye. Turning his head, he realized that the gun was held by the one and only Giacomo Brusco. Gokudera smiled, it's time to make you pay. Catching the eye of the assassin, he turned fully, pulling out a handful of dynamite.
"Let's play, you bastard," he called out. But Giacomo only grinned predatorily at him. He lifted his arm, pointing the gun directly at Gokudera.
"Yes," he replied with a sinister smile. "Let's play Hayato-kun."
With that, he suddenly switched his aim towards another figure. Gokudera was already moving and had thrown his dynamite at the assassin when he heard three successive shots. The pain didn't even register as two of the bullets ripped through his already injured shoulder, the third one lodging itself somewhere between his sixth and seventh rib. Glancing in the direction of Giacomo, he smiled at the charred remains. Gotcha, you son of a bitch. Collapsing to his knees, he coughed once, twice, before his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out.
"Gokudera-kun! Gokudera-kun!" A voice was pounding away at his head. Without opening his eyes, he tried to tell the person to fuck off. All that came out was garbled mush. "Quick, he's coming to! Water, he needs water!"
Funny, he thought, that voice sure does sound familiar. With a soft whimper, he attempted to open his eyes, but decided that it was not worth the effort. He knew his own mind; he'd been severely hurt enough times in his life to know that everything would come back to him soon. Gently, a glass of water was placed against his lips. Gratefully, he drank it in large gulps, offering a hoarse 'thank you' when he was done. Relaxing once again, he made another attempt to open his eyes.
"Look at you," a voice chuckled, "you look so weak."
Now that voice he would know even if he was in the deepest circle of hell. "Shamal, you jackass. What the hell is going on?"
"You seem to have forgotten your lessons on how your body is a temple and should be treated with respect. Instead, it seems that you decided to get shot four times, three in almost the exact same spot. But even that pales in comparison to the fourth bullet. Had it been just a little higher, it would have pierced your lung, and slightly lower, it would have pierced your diaphragm. In both cases, you would have been dead. It seems like your luck has held out again."
Gokudera finally managed to crack open one eye. The pale visage of his boss swam in front of him. He jerked violently as he tried to get out of bed. "Boss! The Brusco family! Giacomo! I'm sorry, it was all my fault! You should demote me. I am not worthy-"
"Gokudera-kun!" Tsuna exclaimed. "How could you ever think that I blame you for what happened? If anything, you saved us."
"No Boss," he said, shaking his head. "I acted without thinking of the consequences. I beg that you relieve me of my post until I can prove myself mentally stable."
Silence reigned in the tiny room.
"Are you finished?" Tsuna asked. "Then I'll have you know that I will do no such thing. Stop being selfish Gokudera-kun. In my time of need, when I need someone to support me as I re-secure the defenses of this family, you would leave me? Is that the case?"
"No, no, never-"Gokudera gasped. "I would never do that to you Juudaime! However you need me, whenever you need me, wherever you need me, I'll always support you."
"Then what I need right now is for my Storm Guardian and Right Hand Man to rest and heal. I don't ever want to think that I lost you like I did a few days ago."
"A few days Boss?" Gokudera asked. "How much time has passed?"
"Two weeks Gokudera. But four days ago, your heart stopped. If Shamal hadn't been around, you would've died. I never want to experience that again."
"I promise Boss. You won't ever go through such a thing again." Gokudera glanced around. "But I have to know, how is the Baseball Idiot?"
"I had him forcibly removed. He wouldn't leave your side."
Gokudera sighed in relief. "Tell that idiot that if I find him in a worse condition than me, I will make him regret the day he was born."
Tsuna chuckled. "I'll be sure to pass along the message. But for now Hayato, please just get better."
RRRRRING! RRRRING! RRRRING! A hand slapped onto the bedside table, moving shakily in order to find the phone that was obnoxiously ringing and vibrating. Finally finding it, the pale fingers flipped open the phone before pressing it to an ear.
"What?" Gokudera Hayato was not pleased. It was, glancing at the clock in front of him, 3 a.m. It had also been the first time his injuries had stopped hurting long enough for him to fall into some sort of slumber. "What happened?"
"Maa, Gokudera is always sounding so grouchy."
"Baseball Idiot?" He asked incredulously. "Why the fuck are you calling me this late?"
"Ah, well" he could just see the man rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Let's just say that I just got free. How are you?"
Gokudera's voice softened. It must have been a problem at the base. "I'm fine, not counting the amount of painkillers that I'm on."
The voice on the other end of the phone laughed softly. "Knowing you, it must be a lot to make sure that you don't leave the bed."
"Che," Gokudera scoffed. "I'll be back before you know it."
"I just wanted to thank you, you know?" Yamamoto said softly, all jokes aside. "I know where those bullets were headed if you handed been there. And I also know that I couldn't have hit all three of them. So thank you Hayato."
"Takeshi," Gokudera was at a loss for words. Years ago he may have snorted and shrugged off the apology, but seven years of having each other's backs changed that sentiment. "Really-"
"VOOOOIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!! If you have enough energy to be talking on the phone, then I haven't done my job right. I told you that I would keep you in this bed for the next three days even if I had to kill you!"
"Aha, Squalo, I was just checking up on Gokudera."
"Well, he's alright isn't he?" Sounds of a scuffle could be heard over the phone. "Bomber Brat! So glad you're alive. Maybe now this idiot will actually stop moping and fuck me properly."
Click. The phone fell loosely from Gokudera's hands. I just got free…the words echoed in Gokudera's mind. How could he have been so foolish? How could he have been so naïve to think that Yamamoto actually had been working on a problem at the base? His hands gripped the blankets on his bed tightly, sending shooting pains up his injured shoulder. But the physical pain in his shoulder stopped the heavier ache in his chest. Had he really thought that just because he took a couple of bullets for him that Yamamoto's feelings would change overnight? That he would drop Squalo and proclaim his love for Gokudera. Shit, shit, shit. The worst part about this whole fiasco is that I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Closing his eyes, he shuddered as his thoughts turned towards Yamamoto. He had to let it go. If Yamamoto was happy with Squalo, fuck, if he was happy with anyone else other than him, how could he come in between that happiness? Leaning back into his pillow, he made a pact with himself. He didn't think he could ever stop loving Yamamoto, but he sure as hell could stop hoping and jumping at every glimmer of a chance that he saw. Sighing, he tried to fall asleep again. What he really needed to do right now was rest and recover; everything else would fall into place later.
Eight months later…
One green eye cracked open groggily. Why the hell wasn't the other one opening? was the one thought that flitted across Gokudera's mind before all the memories came rushing back. "SHIT!"
A cough sounded from below him. Glancing down, Gokudera felt like a weight had lifted off his shoulders…figuratively, not physically. He could still feel the slab of cement weighing against his back and shoulders, heavy enough to keep him trapped under it, but not heavy enough to create a peanut butter and jelly sandwich of him and the Idiot. Sighing, he buried his face back into the neck below him where it had been located for god knows how long.
"Gokudera…" a voice cracked as it spoke, "do you mind getting off of me? You're a bit heavy."
"Baka," if his hands had been free, he would have pinched the bridge of his nose, "if you really want to prove to me that you're no longer stupid, shut up and observe your surroundings before you say anything."
"Ne, cruel as ever aren't you 'Dera? Even in a life threatening situation." Still, hands ran up the side of his body, feeling at where the slab was cutting into his back. Fingers grasped at the ends of the slab, testing at how heavy it was.
"Unfortunately Yamamoto, this is the only slab one that wouldn't have crushed us. However, the price we pay for this is not being able to remove it. So we're stuck here until Juudaime can get us out of this mess."
"Gokudera…" the awe in the voice had Gokudera glaring at the man underneath him. "How did you manage to calculate that with the amount of time we had?"
"Idiot, not all of us failed our calculus and physics classes. And I've been throwing dynamite since I was nine."
"So I guess all that calculus in high school actually does pay off."
"Of course it does. How do you think Reborn found out what the best striking arc was for you? It was also the most basic physics and calculus."
"Gokudera," Yamamoto replied playfully. Gokudera shifted, wincing at the new points at which the slab was pressing into him. Yamamoto, noticing this, sobered up. "Is there anything that I can do to ease the pain?"
"No. I have to remain on my hands and knees to provide optimal force in the opposite direction. You're just stuck underneath me for a while." The two fell into silence. Who knew how long they were going to be stuck down here. Luckily, there were enough cracks in the debris around them to allow some light and sound to filter in. It was also a relief to know that air would not be running out anytime soon. Many minutes passed in silence, the two guardians listening to the sounds of the battle outside. No matter how many times they had been told that after defeating Byakuran he would never be able to take over the world again, each battle against the Millefiore was never taken lightly. Even with the guarantee that he wouldn't be able to kill Tsuna or destroy the Vongola, he still managed to cause havoc whenever he attacked. But from the looks of the battle before they were trapped, Gokudera and Yamamoto suspected that it would be a large scale but final assault.
Both were broken out of their musings as the muffled noises of the battle above them suddenly stopped. With bated breath, they waited for some noise, signifying the happenings going on above them. They lay there in silence for half an hour, before a straggled cheer filtered through the cracks.
"Boss! That was amazing to the EXTREME!" Ryohei's voice was like a breaking of a dam. Cheers erupted outside. Letting out a huge sigh of relief, Gokudera dropped his head into the crook of Yamamoto's neck. Composing himself for a minute, he lifted his head again to give Yamamoto a beaming smile. Yamamoto grinned right back, and before he could stop himself, Gokudera dipped his head and captured Yamamoto's lips in a kiss. It was a chaste kiss, but Gokudera poured all of his feelings of relief, joy, and love into it. He didn't even realized what he was doing until the body underneath him froze. As suddenly as he started, Gokudera abruptly pulled away, looking into Yamamoto's eyes warily.
"Ah, um…"he stuttered, not knowing how he was going to get himself out of this mess. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry, I didn't-, sorry, sorry, sor-"
He was cut off by Yamamoto's fingers to his lips. His eyes were wide and wild as he looked at the man beneath him. Yamamoto just smiled again. Gokudera's heart skipped a beat. Could it be? He thought could he understand how I'm feeling right now? Is he going to return my feelings? Does he know how much I love him? Does he love me back? Hope soared in his heart, and he smiled tentatively back.
"Ne Gokudera, I totally understand." Yamamoto replied with an easy smile on his face. Gokudera let out the breath he was holding, his happiness inflating inside of him like a balloon. "It was just a kiss between friends. Don't panic, it won't change a thing. You don't have to feel awkward, ok 'Dera?"
It was as if someone had taken a giant pin to the balloon that was inside of him. His eyes dimmed and his mask slipped into place again. Shit, not now, not now, he chanted. Right now is a time to be happy that Tsuna defeated Byakuran, it's the time to be excited for your boss. It is not the time to have a mental breakdown. Later, later, later. He nodded to Yamamoto, his eyes regaining a bit of their brightness as he thought of Tsuna's victory.
"It shouldn't be too much time now." He said. "Juudaime will have us out soon."
Yamamoto hummed in agreement. "I think I'll make some sushi to celebrate. You can help me Gokudera!"
"Idiot!" Gokudera snarled as his hold on his emotions snapped. "Why the fuck do you think I would want to hang around you? In fact, I really don't want to see your face for a long, long time."
"Huh? Goku-"Yamamoto was cut off as the debris around him began moving. Slowly but surely, the gaps of light became bigger and bigger, the sounds louder and louder. Finally, one flame lit hand appeared at the edges of the piece lining Gokudera's back. Carefully it began lifting the piece; a pair of feet came into view, followed by long legs, and a slender waist. Gokudera gritted his teeth against the pain of feeling a concrete slab being removed from his back and shoulders. Finally, a chest and a face appeared lifting the slab completely and throwing it out of the way.
"Gokudera-kun! Yamamoto-kun!" Tsuna's relieved face was possibly the most beautiful thing that Gokudera had seen in a long time. "You're alive! I thought, I was afraid, I couldn't-"
"Juudaime, remember the promise I made to you all those years ago? I'll always come back to see the fireworks with you." Gokudera grinned. "And I promise to drag this Idiot back with me."
Tsuna smiled back. Then he took another look at Gokudera's back. "Shamal! Get over here!"
"Juudaime! Really, I'll be fine! I don't need one of his mosquito cures!" Gokudera reclined back onto his knees, providing room for Yamamoto to stand up. The swordsman stood, shaking the dust and grit from his clothes and offered his hand to the still kneeling Gokudera. The other man held up his hand and Yamamoto hauled him to his feet. "See, I'm fine. I just need some antiseptic."
Gokudera took two steps in Tsuna's direction before his eyes rolled into his head and he collapsed. The last thing he heard was the Tenth's cry of "Gokudera-kun!" before he blacked out.
"How is it always you who's getting injured? And in every case, you're protecting Yamamoto as well. Hm, I think that there's a pattern Hayato-kun."
"Fuck you Shamal." Gokudera snarled back as Shamal re-dressed the bandages on his back. "Why is it always you who's hanging around me when I wake up? It's almost as if you care."
"Now, now Hayato-kun," Shamal smiled genially. "You of all people should know that you're sister is a pretty little thing. And I love pretty little things."
"As if I would know," Gokudera scoffed. "I can't look at her without collapsing."
"Hayato," Shamal paused, "what is the deal with you and Yamamoto?"
"Nothing!" he snapped back. "We are the Rain and Storm Guardians of the Vongola. That's all."
"Gokudera-kun," a voice interjected from the doorway "stop lying. I'm insulted that you think that I'm still Dame-Tsuna from junior high."
"Juudaime!" he gasped. "I would never think that! Forgive me please! What can I do-"
"You can start by telling me exact what has happened between you and Yamamoto. Or rather, as Reborn suspects, what hasn't happened between the two of you." Tsuna said, glaring for the first time at Gokudera. This had gone too far. His Right Hand Man could not continue to throw himself in harm's way like this. Both Gokudera and Yamamoto had to know how the other felt, he could not have his family fall apart on him.
"Juudaime! Please, it's nothing!"
"That's what you said eight months ago, and you almost died because of it"
"Tsuna please," Gokudera pleaded. "Don't do this. Just give me some time."
"How long will you make me wait Gokudera? I know you."
Gokudera had nothing to say to that. He knew that Tsuna knew him inside and out. He was also smart enough to know that Tsuna's intuition would not let this drop until he had the whole and complete truth. Taking a deep breath, he looked up into Tsuna's worried eyes. He has a right to know, his mind whispered to him. He's done more for you than anyone other than Shamal.
"Alright," he said softly. "Will you sit down? It's a long story. I suppose you should also stay, you old pervert. I guess you have a right to know."
Tsuna and Shamal nodded their acquiescence and sat in the chairs of the small hospital room.
"I can't really say where it began, but the exact moment that I was fully aware of my feelings was the moment before you began the final battle with Byakuran, almost ten years ago."
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"It was at the beginning of the battle that I realized how much it would hurt me if you were to die. I don't think that I could ever recover from such a thing. That was also when I thought, almost in passing, about how I would never be able to recover if Yamamoto died. That was when I realized how deep my feelings went for him. Until then, I had been playing it off as a crush, something that happened because I saw how mature he could become in ten years." Gokudera paused. "But when I realized that I, I, I loved him, that's when it all went to hell."
Flashback.
"I like you." Stunned silence filled the room. Green eyes shifted warily across a pale face, taking in the tan boy standing across from him. For the first time in his life, Yamamoto had nothing to say, no slight laugh, nothing to respond to what Gokudera had just said. "I really, really like you. And I know that I may not show it in my actions, but I really care for you."
End flashback.
"He rejected me outright. He told me that he wasn't interested in guys that way. We had just gotten back from the future. It was one week after you confiscated and destroyed all of the ten year bazooka's that Shoichi had. He looked so scared when I said that I cared about him. He was so nervous. He tried to apologize, but I wouldn't let him." Gokudera cleared his throat, hoping to remove the lump that had lodged there. "I told him that it was okay, that I just wanted him to know how I felt. I had lost his love; the last thing I wanted was to lose his friendship as well. He was so relieved; I think that hurt more than the rejection itself."
Tsuna stood up and sat on the bed with Gokudera, his hand placed over the other's arm as support. He nodded, indicating that Gokudera should continue with his tale.
"There's really nothing else to it Juudaime." Gokudera smiled weakly. "I covered up my feelings by going out and fucking a new guy every weekend. He was happy with his girlfriends, and I wasn't going to destroy the friendship that we had built up."
"I held out pretty well; actually, I lasted for nine years. But when I walked in on him and Squalo, my heart broke all over again. But I just need time. I may not ever stop loving him," he whispered, "but I'll heal. I've survived worse than this."
"Gokudera-" Tsuna trailed off, unsure of what to say.
"Hayato." It was Shamal's voice that caused Gokudera to look up. "You need to tell him. He needs to know and you need to try again. Did you ever think that maybe the reason that he never thought of you in a romantic light was because of your weekend escapades?"
"Of course I thought of that!" he snapped back. "But he's actually happy with Squalo. I'm not going to be the one to ruin that. It was bad enough that I kissed him!"
"What?" Tsuna asked, shocked. "When did this happen?"
"It was a week ago. Right after you won. We heard the cheers, and I couldn't help myself. I kissed him." Gokudera replied. "He rejected me, again. He thought that I had kissed him because I was so relieved, which was true, but there was so much more than that that I wanted to slap him for his denseness."
"What did he say?" Tsuna asked.
"The same thing as last time" Gokudera replied bitterly. "Only this time he added that it was a kiss between friends. He said not to feel awkward."
"I stand by my advice Hayato. You must tell him."
"Yeah!" Gokudera shouted. "And what's that going to do, huh? It won't make him love me. It won't give me anything."
"Gokudera-kun," Tsuna said softly. "You need closure. Telling him will give you that. And you never know what could happen."
"I'm not going to give myself that hope."
"I could order you to talk to him Gokudera-kun." Tsuna warned. Gokudera's hurt look softened his voice. "I don't want to, but if you don't talk to him, I will order you."
"Alright," he said bitterly. "I'll talk to him, I'll tell him everything I've told you and then that is the last time I'll ever talk about it."
"Thank you Gokudera-kun. Now get some rest; the next couple of weeks are going to be tough on you."
Three weeks later…
"Yamamoto! Yamamoto! Oi, Baseball Idiot!" Gokudera hobbled after the man as fast as he could. Shamal had promised that if he tore his stitches one more time, he would open every wound on his back, regardless of whether the stitching was broken or not, and re-stitch them…all without any kind of anesthetic. "Dammit! Yamamoto!"
Finally the Idiot turned around with a surprised look on his face. "Gokudera? What do you need?"
Panting, Gokudera finally caught up to him. "Don't you fucking hear a guy the first time he calls you? Do you have a minute? I need to talk to you privately."
"Unfortunately I was just on my way to a training session with Squalo. Perhaps tonight, after dinner?"
"Fine. Meet me on the roof. That should be private enough." With a nod, Yamamoto continued towards the training rooms. Gokudera watched him disappear around the corner and sighed. This was it. The big day when he would finally, after ten years of pining, tell Yamamoto Takeshi his feelings. He went back to his room. If the night ended up in the manner that he knew would happen, he would need to have a large arsenal of cures in his room. Mainly the strongest liquor he could get his hands on and a glass. Gokudera was pretty sure that after tonight confession, he was going to want to forget that it ever happened. He pulled out a bottle of flavored vodka, half empty, but it was better than nothing. Going to the kitchen, he found a bottle of red wine, which he commandeered. The dining room proved more fruitful, with the liquor cabinet filled with various drinks. Pulling out the spiced rum and whiskey, he made his way back to his room. Setting everything up on the table in his room, he also placed two aspirin and a glass of water in plain view for the next morning. Satisfied with his work, he locked the door of his room and went to Tsuna's office. Just because he was a cripple did not mean that there was no work for him to do. Completing all of Juudaime's paperwork would be the outlet he needed.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" The night was clear and starry. It was a perfect, warm, summer night. Just the kind that you could spend with your precious one, maybe laying out on the grass, Gokudera thought before turning and facing Yamamoto.
Taking a deep breath, he opened his mouth. "Before I say anything, I want you to promise that you won't interrupt or leave at any point."
"I promise."
"Alright," Gokudera drew in a breath. "Then I suppose it is right for you to know this. I like you. I really, really, really like you. In fact, I love you. I love you so much that it hurts whenever I see you with anyone else. I love you so much that it's all I can do to not kiss you. And speaking of kissing, I kissed you that day not only because I was relieved that Juudaime won, but because there was no way that you were going to get hurt anymore. By now even you should have noticed how many times I've used myself to protect you. I thought that it was only a crush at first, but back when we went to the future, I realized that I wouldn't be able to go on if you died. So, I love you."
Gokudera looked straight into Yamamoto's eyes and said again, "I love you Yamamoto Takeshi. I have loved you for the past ten years, and honestly, I don't think I'll ever stop loving you."
Silence reigned over the roof. Gokudera looked at Yamamoto's face, but he couldn't discern anything. The swordsman's face was a solid, distant mask. He sighed. "There. I've said it, I've told you exactly how I feel."
And I got the closure I needed, he thought, looking at the emotionless face in front of him. But it doesn't make the hurt any less. He turned to leave and began walking towards the staircase leading back down into the mansion. Every step that he took, he took slowly, telling himself that if he walked too fast, he'd rip open the stitches in his back. But in reality, he kept hoping that Takeshi would stop him; he knew that as soon as he entered that staircase, any hope that he ever had of Yamamoto returning his feelings would be crushed. And so he walked slowly, waiting, hoping, for any sign that might make him turn back to Yamamoto. But none ever came.
He placed on foot down on the stairs, looked back for the last time. Yamamoto was as still as a rock, with his back facing Gokudera. Sighing one more time, Gokudera turned away and began his descent. My descent into hell, he thought somberly. At the bottom of the stairs, his knees suddenly buckled, and he collapsed against the door frame. As if on cue, tears began to stream down his face. No longer caring about the stitches in his back, he ran to his room, locking himself in once he stepped inside. He grabbed the bottle of vodka and tipped it back, letting the liquid slide into his throat. By the time the bottle was empty, the burning feeling in his throat had effectively cut of his tears. He turned to the next bottle of alcohol. It was time to get hideously drunk.
"Gokudera-kun! Gokudera-kun!" Heavy pounds were barely heard over the piano music in the room. Tsuna continued to bang on the door. "Gokudera-kun! Open this door!"
The piano playing stopped all of a sudden. Tsuna continued to pound on the door. He needed to know if his Storm Guardian, his Right Hand Man, and his best friend was okay. The clicking of a lock had him stepping away. The door opened about two inches. The room was so dark that Tsuna could only see a single green eye, peering at him through the crack. Slowly, the door opened and Tsuna stepped cautiously into the room. As soon as his eyes adjusted to the dark, he saw outlines of various bottles standing on a table, with a glass, half filled with something, right next to them. The figure that had opened the door had returned to the piano, and had started playing again. It was that same heartbreaking melody that had been playing for the past few hours.
"Gokudera-kun, how much have you had to drink?" Tsuna asked.
"Juudaime," he replied, his mouth slurring the syllables and his eyes slightly hazy, but all in all more put together than one would think. "I haven't finished drinking yet, so I don't know."
Christ, Tsuna thought before heading over to the table. There was an empty bottle of vodka, spiced rum, and red wine. There were other bottles of whiskey, sake, Midori, and Bailey's with varying amounts of liquor in them. "How much have you had to drink then?"
"Hm," Gokudera replied after a quick pause. "Half a bottle of vodka and spiced rum. A bottle of red wine, and varying amounts of shots of the rest. I'm almost done with the sake."
"I think you should stop."
"Maa, I'll stop when I forget about that fucking Idiot, Juudaime." And he started playing again. Playing with one hand, he reached over to the table to grab his glass, which contained some sort of alcohol.
"Gokudera-kun, it's almost noon! How long have you been drinking?"
"I started around 10pm last night. Don't worry Juudaime, I won't die. I'm just drunk. According to my calculations, if I average four drinks an hour, I'll be happily drunk without any alcohol poisoning."
"Gokudera-kun. I am ordering you to stop drinking. Get you and your room clean and get into bed. You need to sleep. I will come back to check on you."
"Hai Juudaime" Gokudera replied unhappily. He finished what was left in his glass and continued to play the piano.
"This is for your own good you know." Tsuna said softly as Gokudera finally came out of the shower and got into bed. He shut the door softly as he left the room. "I'm just worried about you."
During his meeting, Tsuna's focus was elsewhere. He needed to know what happened last night. It was time to finally talk to his Rain Guardian.
After making sure that Gokudera was sound asleep in his room, Tsuna cleaned up and then headed over to where he knew Yamamoto was training. He paused in the doorway of the dojo, watching his Rain Guardian train. He really was a sight to behold when using the sword. The grace of his swings, the sureness of his footing, and the look of passion and concentration on his face made him into a completely different person. With the Kintoki in his hand, he was no longer Yamamoto Takeshi, carefree Baseball Idiot. He was Yamamoto Takeshi, Rain Guardian of the Vongola, natural born hitman. Tsuna continued to watch as he went through his katas, ending with a final sweep of his blade. A quick snap and the lethal blade turned back into the bamboo it was. Smiling, Yamamoto turned to face Tsuna.
"Tsuna! What brings you here?" He asked happily.
"I want to spar Yamamoto." Tsuna replied with a smile of his own. "You don't have anything planned right?"
"Not at all," he said, "a spar sounds great!"
Pulling on his gloves, Tsuna took a deep breath before falling into his Dying Will mode. He waited for Yamamoto to stretch and release his blade once again. In a blink of an eye, they clashed together, the power of their flames lighting up the dojo. They broke apart before coming together once again. They repelled each other using their flames, landing on opposite sides of the dojo. Tsuna quickly shot a few of his flames at Yamamoto, who deflected them easily with his sword. With a graceful swing, he disappeared into a wall of water. Tsuna attacked, knowing that he would have to rely on his intuition to find the real Yamamoto. He shot his flames at each reflection that popped up, dispersing it within seconds of its creation. Suddenly, he felt a presence behind him. He shot at it. It was easily hit away, but it gave away the real Yamamoto's location.
Gotcha, Tsuna thought. With a burst of speed, he flew through the wall of water and landed a solid punch on Yamamoto. The other man flew backwards, but used the tip of his sword to flip into an attacking position. But it was a split second too slow. No sooner than had he landed, Tsuna had one hand around his throat and another around his wrist.
"Yield." Tsuna stated, he grip tightening on the wrist, causing Yamamoto to drop his sword. The latter simply grinned and nodded, easing his rigid position. Tsuna stepped away with a smile on his face. It had been a long time since he had sparred one of his guardians.
"Great as ever Boss!" Yamamoto said with a smile. Tsuna grinned. It had been good.
"I miss training with you guys. These days it seems all that I'm doing is paperwork and running away from Reborn before he kills me with his training.
Yamamoto laughed. "Now that he's all grown up, he is a little scarier isn't he?"
"He's always been scary. Now he just has the face to go with it."
"Ne Tsuna, we should do this again."
"Yes, we should." Tsuna mentally prepared himself; this was a perfect way to start talking about Gokudera. "I think that next time, you and Gokudera-kun should get together and fight me. You guys have always had the best teamwork. It would really be a great win if I were to break through his C.A.I. system and defeat your style."
Tsuna watched as Yamamoto stiffened at the sound of Gokudera's name. At once, a stone cold mask fell on his face, blocking out his emotions. But Tsuna had tricks of his own. Being kill-ahem, tutored by Reborn everyday meant that he had picked up some of the hitman's uncanny senses. He continued talking conversationally.
"You know Yamamoto, I actually wanted to ask you something about Gokudera-kun." Tsuna said before dropping his voice into a serious, worried tone. "Do you know what happened to him last night? Because he really wasn't looking or feeling well a couple hours ago when I went to check on him. Just the fact that he wasn't in my office with his usual good morning had me worried."
"Why would I know if there was anything wrong with Gokudera?" Yamamoto asked, almost coldly.
"Yamamoto," Tsuna said in a pseudo-surprised. "You and Gokudera are best friends. Even though he insults you all the time, it's pretty clear to all of us that you guys care about each other's well being. Did something happen?"
"You could say that Tsuna." Yamamoto replied before sighing. He looked at Tsuna, his mask completely gone, only weariness and confusion remaining.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Tsuna asked gently.
"No. This is something that I have to resolve myself."
"Perhaps you could go talk to Gokudera-kun? To tell you the truth, when I went to check on him, he had been drinking through the night. So I'm guessing that whatever happened between you two happened last night?"
"He WHAT?" Yamamoto demanded angrily. "How could he do that? I said nothing to him, absolutely nothing! If anything, I should have been in his place!"
"Maybe," Tsuna said gently, "maybe it was because you said nothing that Gokudera did that. I think that you should go and talk to him."
"Tsuna…" Yamamoto looked desperately at his boss and friend. "Tsuna, do you even know what he said to me?"
"Yes," Tsuna replied quietly, "I was actually the one who told him to confess. It was hurting him physically and mentally."
Yamamoto exploded. For the first time in his life, he was well and truly angry. "I was happy in my relationship with Squalo! It's been almost a year! How could he come to me right now and tell me his feelings? If he really loved me, he would have told me before things got serious! How can our relationship stay the same now that he's told me he's loved me? In fact, I think that it would be better if we were separated for a while so I can figure out a way to deal with this fucked up fiasco."
Tsuna cringed. He had never heard Yamamoto swear, ever. He tried to comfort Yamamoto, but nothing he said or did was able to calm the swordsman down. It seemed that he really, truly was angry at Gokudera for the first time in his life. In their conversation, neither of them saw a figure quietly close the door to the dojo and walk away.
One week later…
Tsuna smiled happily as he packed away the day's paperwork. For the first time in one month, he had actually finished everything that he needed to do for the day. The threat of the Millefiore was officially nonexistent and Ryohei had finally proposed to Hana. He smiled, it was about time that his Sun Guardian worked up the courage to propose. They had been dating for over six years. Tsuna himself wished that there was someone out there that could love him for so long. Haru and Kyoko were amazing women, but the long time affection that he held for them and them for he had settled into a more sibling like relationship. And then there was Mukuro. Although he was not averse to having an interest in men, Mukuro was the bane of his existence. And yet, he would pledge his loyalty to the Vongola in a heartbeat, even though he would never admit such a thing, even under a torture worse than the Vendici.
Locking his desk for the evening, his eye fell on a familiar picture. It was one of Yamamoto, him, and Gokudera almost ten years ago. Those had been the good times, when he was still vehemently denying his Mafia Lord title, Yamamoto thought it was all a game, and Gokudera was obsessed with him. His eyes dimmed as he thought of his two best friends. Over the past week, everyone had noticed. Neither Yamamoto nor Gokudera would talk to each other. Sure they communicated well enough when doing a job for Tsuna, but there was no connection between them anymore. Gokudera walked on glass around Yamamoto, and Yamamoto was still angry about Gokudera's confession. When the two of them were in the same room, they both made an effort to leave, just so that they could avoid the awkwardness between themselves and the rest of the family. Sighing, Tsuna looked away from the picture. He could only hope for the best now. A soft knocking interrupted his thoughts.
"Come in," he said pleasantly. The door opened slowly and in walked Gokudera with a solemn look. "Gokudera-kun! What happened?"
"Nothing Juudaime. I'm just here to ask for a transfer."
"A transfer?!" Tsuna asked incredulously. "What do you mean?"
"I want to go back to Japan." Gokudera replied monotonously. "I think that we could use my assistance back at the base there for reconstruction. I would also like to update all the security to what Gianni has here."
"But why now?"
"The repairs for this base are almost done. A few more days is all that it should take. However, I know from the reports that the base in Japan is still trying to get on its feet. It could use a little bit of authority, and as your Right Hand Man, I would be the perfect person to make sure that things get done." Tsuna glowered at him, unconvinced. Gokudera looked at him and sighed before continuing in a softer voice. "And I'm not going to stay where I'm not wanted Juudaime."
"What?"
"I was there you know, when you were talking to Yamamoto. He doesn't want me near him so he can figure things out. If my going away will help to retain our relationship, whatever the hell it may be after this, I want to go."
"Gokudera-kun, you know that he didn't mean that, didn't you. He was just angry."
"Have you ever seen him angry Tsuna?" Gokudera said patiently. "Frustrated yes, but never angry. I've never seen him like that, and I need to get away before we both do or say something that I'll regret for the rest of my life. Love sure, I'm willing to lose that. But friendship, a camaraderie? Never."
Tsuna sighed before sitting back down at his desk and pulling out the necessary paperwork for Gokudera's transfer to Japan. "Just promise me you won't do anything stupid."
Gokudera smiled, the first real smile in many, many days. Tsuna handed the papers to him.
"You leave in two days. And your stay there will be indefinite."
"Thank you Juudaime." Gokudera replied. He turned around and left the office. Tsuna put his face into his palms; this was getting more and more complicated.
Two days later, he was gone. It was difficult at first, getting along without Gokudera's natural ability of problem solving and doing paperwork. Every guardian, even Lambo, felt the change. There was less shouting around the mansion, less efficiency, and just generally less Gokudera-ness. The days turned into weeks and the weeks into months.
Gokudera had been gone for almost a whole year. Sure he kept weekly letters and messages coming to Tsuna and an occasional letter to the other guardians of the family, but he never tried to contact Yamamoto. He kept true to his word that he would not approach the other man. No matter how much it hurt to get emails and text messages from everyone else (even Hibari had sent one; purely business, but he had sent one) and nothing from Yamamoto, Gokudera kept his head down and worked diligently. He would return for only two reasons, the Tenth needed him, or Yamamoto told him too.
Slowly, the year progressed. Some of the guardians had come to visit by now, Ryohei with his new wife, Lambo and I-pin with Haru, and Mukuro with a mission. They all asked when he was coming back, but every time, he would shake his head and reply "Not yet." Nearing eighteen months, Gokudera got a call from Tsuna.
"Gokudera-kun?"
"Ohayo Juudaime."
"When are you coming back?"
"When you need me or when Yamamoto says I can come back."
"Do you still love him?"
"Yes. I always will. Is he still angry with me?"
"Not angry. It like he's lost his other half. There isn't much cheer in him these days. Also, Squalo broke up with him about six months ago. It seems that he was using Yamamoto to make Xanxus jealous enough to act upon his feelings."
Gokudera sucked in a breath. That bastard! Does he not know how precious Yamamoto is? How could he just throw him away like that? And for what? Xanxus of all people! This is ridiculous.
"Are you still there?"
"Hai. Juudaime, I know that I meant to stay away from him until he felt it necessary, but can you please tell him that I'm sorry. And that if I was there, I would blow up that fucking Emperor for what he did? He led him on for almost two years. If I ever see his face, it won't just be a hand that he'll be missing."
Tsuna chuckled. There was the Gokudera that he knew and loved. "Of course. Please come back soon Gokudera."
"I hope so Juudaime. I miss Italy." And you, and the family, and even Shamal and Bianchi. But most of all, I miss the Baseball Idiot.
To say that Gokudera was surprised when Yamamoto showed up on his doorstep one week later would have been an understatement. Hell, if Byakuran himself had knocked on the door, he would have been less surprised. As it was, he had opened the door only to slam it shut before Yamamoto could say anything. A few minutes later, he had opened the door again cautiously, not sure if what he had seen was real. That was when Yamamoto had responded with a weak "Ohayo." He had let the man in, watching as he took off his shoes and placed his bag into the room that had always been his. "I'll make some tea" he had muttered, lost at what he should say or do.
They sat in the living room, the two of them. Yamamoto was quietly sipping his green tea, while Gokudera simply held onto his mug of black coffee. They painted quite the picture, one looking anywhere except the other, and the other staring at the first as if he would disappear as suddenly as he appeared. Gokudera wasn't sure why he was here, but he wasn't going to say anything until the other spoke. Yamamoto, on the other hand, shifted and squirmed until he finally looked up and straight into Gokudera's face.
"Just tell me one thing. Do you still care?" He paused. "Do you still care about me?"
"Always." Gokudera replied. There was no need for elaboration. Yamamoto let out a sigh and it was as if something lifted the oppressive mood in the room.
"Tsuna gave me your message."
"That fucker had better not come here. I won't be responsible for my actions."
"You always were violent."
"Che, I don't know what you're talking about." They fell into silence again. Only this time, it was a companionable one. It was as if the connection that they had skirted around for the past eighteen months had been fixed. Gokudera, for his part, was so happy that he could hardly talk without sounding breathless. All that mattered was that Yamamoto didn't hate him. Yamamoto, on the other hand, was trying to find a way to discuss what had been said all those months ago. He finally gave up, deciding to blunt like he always was.
"Listen 'Dera, about what you said-"
"Forget it Yamamoto. I'm happy to have your friendship."
Yamamoto took a deep breath before turning to completely face Gokudera on the couch. "That's just it Gokudera. I don't want your friendship."
Gokudera almost dropped his coffee. Placing it carefully on the table in front of him, he turned to face Yamamoto. "Then why the fuck are you here you little bastard?! It wasn't enough that you rejected me not only once, but twice? Fuck this shit. Get the fuck out of my life Yamamoto. I don't need this shit from you, you asshole. Go back to-"
He was cut off by a pair of lips pressing to his. He froze, his mind blank. A tongue softly swiped his lower lip and he melted. Before he knew what was happening, his hands were cupping Yamamoto's face, deepening the kiss. He had waited so long for this to happen. And then his body was being pressed into the couch by a broader one. There was a hand wrapped around his waist and behind his back, pulling him flush against the one body he had dreamed of for years. A tongue slipped into his mouth, and he sucked lightly on the appendage, drawing a moan from the man above him. Moving one of his arms around the others neck, he dragged him in deeper, as if he were trying to merge the two bodies into one. But finally, the quick gasps of breath were not enough to continue and they both broke apart.
Gokudera kept his eyes closed, afraid that if he were to open them, everything would melt away and it would only be another dream. He drew in ragged breaths, his chest heaving.
"Hayato," a voice murmured. "Hayato, please look at me."
Reluctantly, he opened his eyes, praying that what he would see would not be a mistake. Pale green eyes looked slowly into deep brown. What he saw had him release the breath that he was holding. The tan face was smiling, no beaming down at him. Gokudera smiled back tentatively. He was still wary; he had been bitten one too many times to completely trust what he was seeing. He caressed the other man's cheek, his eyes softening as the other leaned into the touch. The head above his dipped down and placed a light kiss on his lips. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Gokudera. In a sudden, uncharacteristic move, he threw his arms around the Baseball Idiot and hugged him tightly, burrowing his head into the other's neck.
"Ne Hayato?"
"Just shut up Baka. Do you know how long I've wanted this?"
"I think I have a pretty good idea. After all you did tell me." And so the white elephant in the room had been addressed. Yamamoto looked nervously at Gokudera, not sure of how he should start. "I never meant, I would never tell you, I was just so-"
"Takeshi…" Gokudera trailed off. "Do you care for me?"
"I think I love you." Yamamoto replied quietly but honestly. Gokudera's head shot up at this comment. He looked incredulously at Yamamoto. There was no way that he had just said what he thought he had said. "It's true. I love you Gokudera Hayato. And I'm sorry that it took me so long to figure it out."
"Che, it's not like you were the brightest light bulb in the closet." Gokudera replied falling into his habit of insults when he was shocked. Then his face breaking into a gentle smile. "And just for the record, I still love you. I always will."
"Say it again." Yamamoto ordered.
"I love you Yamamoto Takeshi, the one and only Baseball Idiot." Yamamoto sighed before snuggling into the body under him. "Oi! Baka! Get off of me you fucker! You're too damn heavy. Yamamoto! Do you hear me! Get the hell off!"
"But I'm comfortable."
"At least move so that I'm not crushed." Gokudera retorted. Yamamoto shifted so that he was underneath Gokudera and that his arms were firmly wrapped around him.
"Hayato? I'm feeling pretty jetlagged. So I'm going to sleep."
"You always did have that problem. Let me up then. I actually have work to do. Yamamoto? Baseball Idiot? Takeshi?" Gokudera looked up to see that the man had already fallen asleep. Shifting gently, he tried to move from under his arms only to have them tighten around him. Looking again at the peaceful face, Gokudera sighed and decided to stay put. After all, an afternoon nap might do him some good. And this time, he knew that Yamamoto would still be here when he woke up. Kissing him one more time, he snuggled into the broad chest and shut his eyes. Perfect, he thought before nodding off to sleep.
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