I do not own DBZ or any of it's characters

A/N: This is not a Yuri fanfic lol

Two Chicks And A Beer

1. Seriously, Why Do People Drink?

"Ahh he pisses me off sometimes seriously!" Videl said sitting down on the couch in the Kame House, "He's just so dense!"

18 was in the kitchen rummaging through the fridge as Videl vented her emotions. She sighed and wished Krillin was home. She was no good at emotions. And to top it off Roshi and Oolong where Kami knows where trying to get strippers and hookers. The only good thing was the Marron was hanging out at Bulma's house with Goten and Trunks so she didn't have to be embarassed in front of her daughter. Android 18 smiles as soon as she sees the big case of Corona, she knew the solution. She took out the pack and went over to the couch. "Ok so why are you mad at Gohan, Videl?"

"Well we've been going out for quite some time," Videl said, "ever since Goku defeated Buu, and I think it's time to move it up to the next level."

18's eyes almost popped out of her head, what the hell is she suppossed to say. She knew Videl had no mother, and she couldn't talk to Chichi about this. And Kami knows what kind of perversions Bulma would put in the girls head, after all she was only 19 years old. 18 handed her a beer and said, "just drink."

"Does this really help?"

"Of course, I don't think I would have hooked up with Krillin if there wasn't any alcohol in my system."

"Wait, don't you love him?" Videl said looking a little disappointed.

"Of course I love him," 18 said sighing, "i'm just no good at emotions and he awakened emotions in me that I just didn't know how to deal with."

"What kind of emotions?"

"Well love, anger, sadness, happiness...desire."

"So what did alcohol do for you?" Videl said.

"When I'm drunk, I don't lie, I say things how they are," 18 said, "I wouldn't have admitted my love for Krillin if I hadn't drunk anything." Videl gave her a nervous glare, she'd never drunk before, and being a fighter and the girlfriend of a momma's boy, she didn't feel it right. But she decided it was time to take a risk. She opened the bottle and chugged the whole thing. 18 sighed and said, "don't worry this is only to break the ice, I said 'i love you' again when I was sober, and when we first had sex I was 100 percent sober...he wasn't!"

"Really?" Videl said getting a little light-headed. She was after all a light-weight and had never drunk before.

"He was a nervous wreck, he didn't know what to do with his hands."

Videl laughed and grabbed another beer and chugging it down. 18 joined her now chugging three beers down with out even a flinch or pause. "How did you get him to...sleep with you?" Videl said innocently.

18 spit out the beer in her mouth and started laughing almost hysterically, "have you seen me?" she said cockily.

"I know that," Videl said blushing, "but how did you let him know that you were ready?" She chugged down two more beers, getting as used to it as 18.

"Oh I see now," 18 said gulping down another beer, "that's why you're here. You're ready to screw Gohan but you don't know how to tell him you're ready." Videl nodded and blushed. 18 handed her another beer and said, "well do you want it to be romantic and passionate, or fun and passionate? Either way it's passionate."

"Which one feels better?" Videl said smirking, now she was totally drunk. She was swaying side to side and felt like singing. 18 laughed and chugged down another beer, she was also pretty messed up.

Just then the door opened and Krillin walked in after a hard day of training. He was sweating all over, he was shirt-less, and his pants were all ripped up exposing his legs from the knees down. 18 bit her lip as her sexy husband walked tiredly over to the fridge. "Hey Videl, hey babe, I need a beer."

"They're right here," 18 said pointing at the table in front of her. Krillin gave her a stern look upon hearing her slurred speaking and seeing Videl's bloodshot eyes.

"Shit 18, you got the girl all drunk."

"Oh shut up Krillin I wanted to get drunk, I needed to get drunk" Videl said drunkingly.

"Let me take you home before Gohan shows up and kicks my ass," Krillin said sighing.

"No, 18 is helping me."

"With what?" Krillin said, "becoming an alcoholic?"

Videl and 18 broke into drunken laughter and rolled all over the floor. Krillin sighed and smacked his forehead with his hand as if saying 'hopeless.' 18 stood up and took a beer to Krillin in the kitchen. She pinned him against the wall and said, "shut up and drink. I'm helping Videl with her relationship with Gohan."

"Really?" Krillin said suspiciously, tentatively grabbing the beer.

"Yes, now drink so you can help me out."

"Help?" Krillin said opening the bottle, "me?"

"Yes, come on," 18 said grabbing her short, black-haired husband's hand and leading him to the couch. Krillin sat in between 18 and Videl uncomfortably sipping his beer slowly. (A/N: Just make that image in your head, lmao that's just too funny, poor Krillin.) Videl and 18 stared at him intently from both sides of him.

"What?" Krillin said in an annoyed tone. 18 and Videl started giggling drunkingly and started chanting: "Chug, chug, chug, chug!" Krillin panicked as the women started pushing him back and forth urging him to down the beer as fast as he could. Videl and 18 had already opened two more beers and were waiting for him to chug. Finally Krillin gave in and chugged down the drink. 18 slammed the beer in her hand against his chest and urged him to chug it down. Krillin almost flew through the couch from the impact and immediately chugged the beer. Then Videl slammed the beer in her hand against his chest and did the same. Krillin groaned and chugged it. This proccess continued for quite a while until Krillin fell forward off the couch and started laughing like a maniac. "WOOHOO!" he exclaimed, "I FEEL ALIVE!!!!" Videl and 18 broke into laughter as Krillin jumped on the table and started dancing stripper style singing, "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my pants..." 18 jumped on the table and started freak dancing with him as Videl rolled onto the floor in hysterics. Tears were streaming from her eyes and her stomach hurt from the laughing.

"Ok guys," Videl slurred recovering from the laughter, "are you gonna help me with Gohan or not?"

"Right," 18 said stumbling off the table drunkingly, "you asked me which one felt better: romantic and passionate sex, or fun and passionate sex. Well only you can decide that, but you're pretty observant girl, why don't you see which one looks like it feels better and then try it out with Gohan."

"Ok," Videl said, "first of all, how do I even start the process? What if Gohan doesn't want me?"

Krillin fell off the table in a bout of laughter and said, "yeah fucking right!"

18 gave Krillin a cat's meow and said, "I love it when you talk dirty."

Krillin chuckled and said, "Videl, Gohan is anxious for you! He jerks off to your picture, he has erotic dreams about you every night. He's just scared to jeopordize your relationship."

"Which means you have to make the first move," 18 said.

Videl smirked and said, "well I've always been the take charge type of girl. Well anyways, the other point I was trying to make, my second of all," Videl said slurring almost unintelligibly, "how the hell am I suppossed see romantic, passionate sex and fun, passionate sex? Am I supposed to watch porn and then chose the one that looks better?"

18 and Krillin were rolling on the floor in laughter before she had even finished her sentence. "Porn is so unreliable!" Krillin said, "just actors who fake a good time. If there's no love, there's nothing!"

"So then how..." Videl started.

"Sit down on the couch and watch the show," 18 said.

"Whaddya mean hun?" Krillin said oblivious to her implication.

Videl laughed and said, "glad I'm drunk then." She sat on the couch and watched as 18 picked up Krillin off the floor and laid him flat on his back on the table. She took off his pants and boxers leaving him completely exposed to the innocent young fighter watching curiously from the couch. She gave a gasp and said, "for a small guy..."

"I know," 18 said laughing, "shocked the hell outta me too! This is the romantic one." She gave Krillin a tender kiss on the lips that warmed Videl's heart. She almost wowed as Krillin returned the kiss so sweetly and so softly. 18 caressed his hard rock chest and abs as she kissed him. Krillin pushed her back as he sat up and laid her down gently on the floor. He got on top of her and slowly took off her shirt and bra. Krillin led tender kisses down her chest to her stomach. 18 trembled under his touch and she felt like it was the first time all over again. She had been so nervous that night, she didn't know how she maintained her composure. She was freaking out just as much as Krillin, if she didn't find a way to calm him down she would have definitely lost it. Evidently, Krillin was a virgin, his ex-girlfriend was willing but he's was always to scared to mess up. After a few beers, Krillin was tipsy enough to function but to remain calm.

Being a virgin herself, it was hard for her to take charge but it seemed to be in her nature. Now in this drunken state, she felt like it was that night again. Krillin was nervous too. He was unzipping her jeans and slipping them off slowly and his hands were trembling in anxiety. 18 sighed softly as Krillin slipped his tongue into her womanhood. Krillin had enough practice this time to be able to move his tongue expertly. 18 couldn't help but moan and arch her back in pleasure. Then just as tender and gentle, Krillin thrust into her making her gasp and wrap her arms around his neck.

Krillin pumped into her passionately and 18 moaned wrapping her legs around Krillin. 18 let out a cry as her body started shaking and she let out an orgasm. Krillin also came and collapsed on top of his super model looking wife. 18 panted softly as Krillin rested his head on her chest, the same head that had been bald when they first had sex. She was snapped back into reality when she heard Videl say, "Damn, that was…I don't even know how to explain it."

18 seemed to be pushed back into her drunken state when she realized where she was and who was watching. She laughed giddily and said, "that was the romantic one, it's highly recommended. But lemme show you the next one." She lifted exhausted Krillin off her chest and laid back down on the table.

"How are you gonna do that?" Videl said, "he's tired."

"Always have these in your house," 18 said running into the bathroom and coming out with a Sensu Bean. Videl chuckled as 18 put the magical bean into Krillin's mouth. Krillin's eyes shot open and he sat up, pumped full of energy. "Round two," 18 said pushing Krillin roughly back onto the table.

"Holy shit!" Videl exclaimed as 18 took Krillin in her mouth. She stared wide-eyed as the android's head bobbed up and down on Krillin's length making him moan and grab a fistful of her hair. Even though her mouth was visibly full, Videl could tell that 18 was smirking at his reaction. Krillin grunted as pre-cum spilled out of his manhood and onto 18's face. 18 climbed on top of him and straddled him. She grabbed his hardness and positioned it at her entrance. Videl watched as 18 started pumping up and down on Krillin, and Krillin thrust up at her pace. She noticed that this time around it was rough and probably a very dangerous thing to do with a saiyan so strong like Gohan. She actually feared for Krillin because of the expression on his face. His veins looked like they about to pop out of his head and 18 was relentless. She slammed her hands on his chest and abs every time she pumped down and he pumped up. She was screaming in sheer pleasure and the table gave way under them.

If Videl would not have witnessed what she did during the martial arts tournament and Majin Buu's reign of terror, she would have probably ran away screaming when she saw Krillin and 18's thrusts turn the table into pure ash. It was as if they had sanded the whole table. 18 didn't stop even though she knew Krillin's body was not as strong as hers and would probably not hold out much longer. She gave a rough thrust that had Videl convinced that they would burn right through the floor. That didn't happen, instead Krillin let out a loud yell and spilled his seed inside of her. Feeling his fluid inside of her was 18 needed to go over the edge herself.

The couple lay in each other's arms in pure exhaustion. They were certain to be sore for weeks afterwards, especially poor Krillin, who got quite a beating. 18 looked up at Videl groggily unable to move anymore. Krillin, even with Sensu Bean, could not keep his eyes open any longer. "So," 18 said weakly.

Videl gulped and said, "maybe one day we'll do that, when I'm sure Gohan won't kill me. But I think for the first time, I'll do the romantic one."

18 smirked and said, "good choice." She fell unconscious, her chest landing on Krillin's head because he was shorter than her. Videl rubbed her temples softly, starting to get nervous at the idea of losing her virginity with a man who stronger than both 18 and Krillin put together. She gulped in fear, but also in desire. She saw the ecstasy in 18 and Krillin's faces. She wanted to feel that. Videl grabbed another beer and chugged it down. She continued to chug beers until her tiny body gave out and she passed out on the couch.