BB: YAHOO!!! And no, I don't mean the website!!!! -cheers happily!-

B: What BB is cheering about is the fact that Near will be out of the hospital on Thursday, and the news was so good, we couldn't post this yesterday, when we should've.

BB: I'm so sorry!!! Near overshadows everything, including fanfiction! Shocking, yes, but true!!!

B: Anyway, this is a fic for Matt's birthday.

BB: It's a MattxMello! I love MxM!!!!

B: It's just called "Birthdays and Bastards."

BB: Read it to find out what it's about!

B: Matt's b-day was yesterday, but we couldn't post it yesterday. So deal with it.

BB and B: WE DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE!!!

Birthdays and Bastards

MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM

WITH MATT

Matty,

Had to work. Be back soon. Promise.

Mello

Matt sighed softly as he read the little note he had found taped to one of his game controllers (BB: Where he was sure to see it!).

'I can't believe he forgot...' ran through Matt's mind as he sat down on the worn couch, eyes blinking rapidly behind orange-tinted goggles. Matt sat there for a while, his mind a complete blank except for the words from the note. His eyes hardened suddenly, and he crushed the paper in his fist and stood up.

'Bastard! He doesn't even care that it's my fucking birthday! He could have at least written the words on this damn note! Hell, if he doesn't care enough about me to wish me a happy birthday, then I'll go find someone who will....' Matt's eyes lit up at the idea, and he decided to go through with it. After pulling his boots on, and putting some cigarettes and cash in his pocket, Matt exited the apartment, a note all he left behind.

Mels,

Went out for a while. Don't know when I'll be back. See you whenever I get back, I suppose. By the way, you're going to have to buy more chocolate; I checked the cabinet and saw you were running low. Well, I'm gonna go now. Later.

Matt

MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM

WITH MELLO

'Damn, damn damn it all to hell! Where am I going to find that stupid video game!?!'

The blonde-haired, leather clad teen searched had been searching everywhere for a copy of Resident Evil Five, and he still hadn't found it, even though he'd checked seven FUCKING STORES!

"Damn it all," he growled under his breath, still searching. 'This fucking bites! I wanted to get Matt a new copy of that game for his birthday, and I can't fucking find it! And this was supposed to be special....I was gonna make sure everything was perfect tonight! FUCK, SHIT, and BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!' He screamed in his head, closing his eyes tightly.

"Sir?"

Mello's eyes snapped open as he saw a sales-girl coming up to him, Resident Evil Five in hand. She held it out to him with a smile.

"It's already been paid for, so don't worry about it," was all she said before she walked away from him, her black hair shimmering under the lights.

Mello stood there dumbfounded, until he reminded himself that he had to get home, now!

He rushed out of the store and to his motorcycle, kicking it to life as fast as he could. He raced out of the parking lot so fast, he seemed like a blonde tornado.

'If I'm lucky, Matt hasn't woken up yet. That'll give me time to set up everything...'

Mello's eyes lit up with happiness.

'Matty, you're in for a big surprise...'

MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM-MxM

BB: And that's where we'll leave off for now!

B: ...cliffhanger much?

BB: -nods- Yep! It's up to the readers whether you and I complete this story or abandon it and take it off. It all depends on them....

B: -widens eyes- You're leaving it up to them? Hell, they can't do anything about it.

BB: ...true. They really don't want to know about Mello and Matt's relationship....nor will they want to read the lemon...

B: -widens eyes more- Lemon, you say?

BB: -nods sadly- Yes, I had a hot and steamy lemon planned for them....however, if the reviews aren't satisfactory, then there will be nothing for it.

B: READERS!!! IF YOU WANNA SEE A HOT AND EXTREMELY STEAMY LEMON BETWEEN MATT AND MELLO AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR MATT, PLEASE REVIEW THIS FIC!!!! OTHERWISE BB WILL ABANDON IT, AND NONE OF US, MYSELF INCLUDED, WILL EVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!!

BB: ....Read and review, if you want. -goes off to memorize the lines for the play-

B: REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!