A/N: Taaa-dah! Long awaited chapter!
I love this chapter I'll admit it.
Tell me what you think of it.
Dedications next chapter and we're coming to an end…
Enjoy!
PS: I have this one-shot, called 'There's this guy, hypothetically' check it out if you like.
'Take me away upon a plateau
Far, far away from fears and shadow
Strengthen my heart in times of sorrow
Light the way to bright tomorrows
Take Me Away- Globus'
Chapter 7: Debts to Aurors, Heartbeat
He took a deep, breath, with difficulty. His whole body was in pain.
"He'll be just fine Miss. No need to cry now." An unknown voice came to him from afar.
He did not open his eyes. Years of practice in passing out had taught him it was pointless.
It was painful to even breathe. So he didn't care to know.
What facing the sun would be like.
His hearing was improving though. And it hardly ever hurt to listen.
But no one was speaking.
Not anymore.
There were just sobs.
He was in the hospital. For sure.
He recognized the smell of medicine in the air.
The uncomfortable bed.
The soft faraway voices of the nurses.
And the sobs of relatives.
The sobs…
Ah, yes of course. In a hospital.
Merlin knew why.
He just relaxed and let the sobs cover him.
Lucky.
Whoever those tears were meant for, he was a lucky person.
"Draco, please wake up." The blonde had no intention to open his eyes. Excruciating pain was sure to follow. If he did so.
And there was nothing in the world that would make him provoke pain now.
Nothing but this.
Slowly he moved his eyelids. He made some effort to adjust to the light of the room. Then he waited for his eyesight to clear up.
As weird as it might have seemed the first thing he saw was her eyes. It was her favorite shade of blue. They were also red.
Her long dark hair were falling on her face. But she was making no effort to push them away.
They're hiding her face. He noted testily. He enjoyed her face, her clear features. From the thin lines of her jaw to her well-shaped black eyebrows.
Nothing should conceal them.
Suddenly he remembered the predicament he was in. The wish to smack his head to the nearby wall taking over him for a second.
"Astoria?" He whispered. Though there was hardly any reason behind the question mark.
The girl's whole body stiffened in an instant. She stood up from her chair. Abruptly. Then sat back down.
Her teary eyes met with him, who felt a pinch of guilt.
At the thought he had been the one causing the tears.
He remembered now.
Yes, surely.
Memory usually came with consciousness.
She must have been so scared. To have faced such a brutal man.
To have seen him do stuff… Terrible stuff.
She must have been terrified.
Once again it was made clear to him. He had no right to associate with her.
To drag her in that hell with him.
"You're awake!" She shrieked, but didn't seem to care if she was disturbing someone. "I-I…" He wasn't sure what to say to that.
"You bloody fool." Now her blue eyes narrowed. He sighed. It was only to be expected.
He used his imagination to think up what she would say next.
'How dare you put my life in danger?'
'This is all your fault. All your doing.'
'You should have died back there. You deserved it. After all the things you've done.'
'You're disgusting!'
He really couldn't choose. Not really sure which of those would hurt him the most.
"You idiot. You scared me so much. I thought I'd die if something happened to you!" He closed his eyes. Counted to ten and reopened then.
He was still unconscious and dreaming.
No question about that.
"A-Are you alright? Merlin's pants I startled you didn't I?" She said in a worried tone. As she saw him closing his eyes shut.
"You don't hate me?" He asked defensively.
"Hate you?" She stared at him incredulously. "I owe you my life."
At that he gasped. It was no dream.
That was reality.
The same cruel, rotten reality he has spent his days in.
The dream was now reality.
And reality blurred away.
Like a dream.
"You owe me nothing. I'm the one indebted here." He stated with the low, strict voice of his.
"You?" She gasped.
"If I saved your life then you have saved my soul." He felt particularly ridiculous for speaking that way. His words seemed taken from a poem or a romance novel. They sounded unreal, overly romantic to him.
He hated that kind of talk.
Always felt disgust. For all those people who used big words about their feelings.
Like 'love' and 'forever' and 'heart'.
And 'soul'.
He was heartless.
That was why he discarded such declarations of affection.
Or so he used to think.
Now another truth presented itself.
It was not the words he distasted.
It was the people.
'I will forever love you.'
'You are my life.'
'I have you in my soul.'
'We will be together forever. Our love is eternal.'
If every person who ever said those things meant them, there would be no divorces.
No break-ups. No tears.
The world would have been a beautiful place.
It wasn't.
So he'd rather not have to hear of all those lies.
But the thing was. What he had just said was not a lie.
It was one of those rare times that words merely depicted the feelings.
He felt saved. And it was her doing.
As simple as that.
As real as the sun and moon.
"All I wanted was to be with you." She whispered, a small smile on her lips.
But it fell fast.
There was someone coughing from the door.
Draco hadn't noticed the figure before. What with his dysfunctional eyesight and Astoria being herself so close to him.
It was not hard to ignore the man in the leaning on the doorframe.
But as soon as he saw him, the change was evident.
The blonde stood straight on his bed and fixed his narrowed eyes at the newcomer.
"Potter." He muttered.
The man from the doorframe stayed silent for some more before nodding with a serious face.
"Malfoy."
The silence proceeded.
"Didn't I tell you he's not in a state to talk? What are you people stupid?" Astoria exclaimed furious.
Draco sighed audibly. Trust her to call the entirety of the Auror Department stupid for his sake.
"I'm sorry." Harry Potter mumbled, profoundly taken aback by her fiery reaction.
"We just had to ask a few questions." He added, unsure.
"It's ok Astoria. I'm just fine." It was not a direct invitation to enter.
The blonde would never invite Potter in.
It was more like a roundabout permission.
Thankfully Potter took the message and walked in.
"We had an unexpected appearance in the Auror Department about five hours ago." The Head of the Department began.
"I see you've received our package." Draco smirked at Astoria.
"You did that?" It was made clear that his old classmate was referring to him. So Draco shook his head.
"It was I who casted the Imperious curse." Astoria put in proudly. Though the blonde was not sure she'd really get a prize for it.
"What happened Malfoy?" The Boy Who Lived messed his black hair and asked.
Nodding Draco recited the events. Leaving out the unnecessary parts and moving fast across the embarrassing ones.
"So you saved her life." To the blonde's dismay his tricks didn't work. Potter knew well how to annoy him.
"I thought we cleared that up." Draco grunted.
"Yes, well that doesn't make it any less impossible." The black-haired man muttered, looking back and forth between the two people.
"Doesn't make it any less real either." Astoria protested.
The Auror's silence resembled disbelief more than confirmation.
"You really are useless without that bushy haired muggleborn of yours aren't you, Potter? What reason would I have to Crucio myself?" Draco mocked. And felt the usual satisfaction that stemmed from it. It had been long since he had last made fun of Potter and Granger.
"And why did Rowle attack you?" His former enemy asked.
"Revenge." It was quite simple really.
"Were you not in the same side?" Draco didn't enjoy the expression with which Potter had uttered those words. It looked as if he wished to disgrace him by bringing up the past.
Well, it really couldn't be helped.
That kind of attitude is almost acceptable coming from him. The blonde thought.
"He was repaying me for torturing him." Why not admit it then? Potter knew exactly who he was anyway.
"During the War?" Indeed the black-haired Auror didn't seem surprised.
"Dark Lord's orders." Draco confirmed.
Potter nodded again. That time he appeared more persuaded.
"And you are Astoria…?" It was her turn to be interrogated and the blonde wasn't pleased with it. But he knew Potter a bit too well to fear he might mistreat her.
"Greengrass." She filled in for him.
"Daphne's sister." Draco explained.
"I see. So what were you doing out at that time, Astoria?" Potter took another step closer.
"I was talking to Draco." She replied easily.
"In Knockturn Alley? You were talking in Knockturn Alley? What about?" During the past eleven years there was not one time he and Potter saw eye to eye.
But at that point he had to agree with the Chosen One.
Knockturn Alley was a nice place to import stolen goods.
Or have a fight with someone.
Or even kill someone
But it was the worst place to talk.
"None of your bloody business." The blonde snapped. Luckily his school rival didn't protest too much.
"And you're absolutely positive it was not you who started the fight?" He looked quite unwilling to let go of them so easily.
"Was Rowle injured in any way Potter?" Draco raised his voice that was still strained.
"No." The other man admitted.
"So what makes you think we attacked first?" The blonde retorted hotly.
"It's just hard to believe you're absolutely innocent, that's all." This time Potter was not ironic. It was an honest reply.
Truthfully, Draco found it hard to believe it himself.
"How dare you! You have no clues whatsoever to support your accusa-…" Putting a hand on her shoulder Draco stopped her from finishing.
"Astoria could you go fetch me some water please?" He whispered to her. She stared at him suspiciously for a while. Before nodding. He knew she knew he just wanted her to leave. But he was glad she agreed anyway.
She stood up and exited slowly.
Then he took a wary look around the room. His eyes resting on a small table.
He tried to stand up wincing. His face contorted with pain and he fell back.
"My wand is on the table. Have it checked if you want." He declared, breathlessly.
"No need. We'll just make Rowle drink a Truth Potion and we'll see." Potter said dismissively.
"Will I need to testify?" The blonde asked.
"Probably both of you." The other answered motioning Astoria with his eyes.
"Is it really necessary for her to be present?" At that Potter seemed thoughtful.
"She is the most reliable witness." He said after a pause.
"Her family doesn't know she was there. It'd be better if they didn't find out. Plus it's not a nice place to be to." The former Death Eater explained quickly.
"Very smart Malfoy. Sneaking out with young girls and getting into trouble." The Auror's voice was strict. In a way Draco would never accept. But he was right.
"I wasn't planning for it to happen." The blonde hissed angrily.
"Does it matter really? Had she died would it matter?" The black-haired man replied likewise.
"Of course you wouldn't care…" That made Draco's blood boil.
"I took the curses for her, do you really think-" He closed his mouth.
What was he doing explaining himself to Potter? Of all people…
"So Astoria…" A new look took over the Auror's face. It was that of interest.
"Sod off Potter." He growled.
"Fair enough. Astoria can give her testimony to me before the trial." It was rather hard to believe it. But it was true. Potter had just done him a favor.
"I'll pay the judges to let her out of this. You don't have to do anything." He assured.
"It's not a big deal Malfoy." Potter said rolling his eyes.
"Is that a favor for old time's sake?" He hoped that would make the Auror reconsider his plans.
"It's for the times to come Malfoy. Apparently we're bound to meet again, so I'd rather we meet on civilized terms." Potter could not have been more…Potter if he tried.
"Yeah, sure, it's not like I've tried to kill you or something." Again irony. Like he was somehow scared. Scared Potter had forgotten.
"Funny, Malfoy. I see you haven't lost your sense of humor." Potter made a disgusted face.
"Potter you do realize who you're helping don't you?" Draco put in trivially.
"Astoria." The other replied.
Both nodded.
That could settle it.
"If you ever want me to repay you…" The blonde started.
"I don't count on it." The Boy Who Lived snorted.
"She is important, Potter. I will repay you one day." He said in a tone that didn't take no for an answer.
"See you in court Malfoy." The black-haired guy waved and left trying to conceal a smile that was spreading.
"Why is he smiling?" Astoria, who had come across the Auror, asked.
Draco just shrugged.
"So where's my water?" He inspected her empty hands.
"Yeah, like I believed you." She rolled her eyes.
"I could be choking to death…" He joked playfully.
"Suits you well, for making me leave. What did you and Potter talk about anyway?" She smiled sneakily and sat down.
"Old times." He replied vaguely.
"He has a lot on you doesn't he?" He made a sound like 'grmph' and looked away.
"Still he seems like a nice person. At first I got a bit annoyed by the way he was looking at you, but when he smiles…" She smiled too and paused. Just long enough to make Draco clench his fists and make his chest stop hurting.
"Well, I'm afraid you're a little late. He's already engaged." He muttered through gritted teeth.
Of course he stood no chance in front of him.
"What?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, no! I don't like him. He might have saved the world but he's not my type." That allowed him to take a breath.
"I see. That's why you called him stupid huh?" He sat up on his mattress and smirked at her. She crossed her arms defensively.
"I was referring to all the Aurors." She retorted biting her lip and he chuckled.
"At least you're not discriminating." He teased and she blushed.
"Well, I couldn't have them talk to you like that now could I?" Her blue eyes were sparkling and he felt his heart beating fast.
He almost feared she might hear it.
Until he realized he didn't mind.
Hell, he'd wish she was close enough to hear it.
Something surged inside him like the flood.
He felt overwhelmed.
By her soft smell of roses and her clear face.
He leaned forward and cupped her face with his hand. It was soft, like he had imagined it to be.
She was looking at him now, expectantly.
He pecked her lips slowly as he plunged his fingers in her silky hair.
And he felt himself drowning in her.
He tasted her and she cropped her hands around his neck.
Without hesitation she stood up, never parting her lips from his, and she sat on his bed.
He took her waist and drew her closer.
He didn't know if she had felt his heartbeat but he felt hers. Annoyingly satisfied at how he excited her.
As he sought for air she opened her eyes.
They were the most beautiful blue he had ever seen in them. He wasn't sure if it was possible but he thought he saw stars in them.
But then reality snapped him out of it.
He let go of her and draw back.
"That was a mistake. A huge mistake. I shouldn't have kissed you. I shouldn't have gone that far." He mumbled in a way even he didn't comprehend what he was saying.
"And you? You should have stopped me. Why didn't you stop me?" Now he was looking at her.
"Cause I didn't want you to stop." She stated simply.
"Fool. You should avoid people like me." He cursed.
"Why so? I find you adorable." She tried to touch him but he pulled back some more.
"I am a bad person. I belong in Azkaban." Draco pointed somewhere out of the window where Azkaban was supposed to be.
"Yeah, you've mentioned that before but is this your idea of yourself or someone else's?" She smirked.
"Well, they are correct." He put in annoyed.
"I beg to differ. I think you're…" She didn't get the chance to finish though.
"Yes? Say it then. Tell me what is so good about me? Rack your brains. You're not gonna find any-…" He was cut off by her clear voice that still made his insides swell.
"You're serious and wise. You can be surprisingly funny in your own sarcastic way. You can be really good at talking to people. Problem is you just hardly ever get interested in someone enough to talk to them." She paused to breathe.
"You did horrible stuff but you're not Voldemort. You keep denying it but you're filled with guilt. The only reason you don't wanna be happy is cause you think you don't deserve it. And you saved my life."
"But I'm just a-" He protested weakly.
"Yes, I know, you're just a self-centered jerk," She declared strictly like she always did when she was being serious.
"But, damn it all, you're my self-centered jerk!"
Silence covered them both. For a moment.
Till he emerged from it.
Not in triumph. But in regret.
For he'd rather drown in silence than speak back.
"I'm a coward." He assured. As if this was the biggest of his crimes.
"So am I. Big deal." Astoria simply shrugged.
"No! You haven't seen what I have seen that's why you say it's no big deal." His hands raised despite the pain that came from it.
"But I know how it's gonna turn out. I know it and it terrifies me." Draco's eyes had never been grayer. More grim and depressed.
"My father is a coward too. When the Dark Lord first appeared he followed him to gain power. Then when Voldemort fell he took Dumbledore's side to save his skin." He recited looking away.
Her shining blue eyes never helped him. To act like a cynic.
"After he was resurrected my father went begging for forgiveness. I became the sacrifice. The sacrifice my father had to make to get his place as a Death Eater back. I did all sorts of shameful things for us to survive." The blonde inspected his hands. Almost certain the blood he had spilled would show on them. He could not touch her face with those hands. Never.
"Then the War was over and we had been defeated. All was gone. Reputation, half our fortune, respect!" He felt strangely lighter. To have finally spoken of all this.
All the thoughts on the table.
All the fears exposed.
His soul hers for the taking.
"All because of my father's cowardice." It was after all their biggest crime.
"You're not your father!" Astoria's eyes flashed as she spoke.
"I'm telling you, I'm not different. I might be good and obedient now but if by some joke of the universe something bad happens and I or the people I care for are in danger I will do anything. To save myself and my family I will commit any kind of crime. I will betray every value that I have."
And sooner or later I'll have to pay for it. He hesitated to add.
So why should he get close to people? Make a family?
For what? To sentence them in the life he was sentenced.
I won't have children only to sacrifice them like my father did with me.
I refuse.
"I don't understand what scares you so much." It was the final blow now. The last bit of the puzzle. The last fort to fall. The biggest fear of them all.
"I'm afraid that if I were in my father's place I would do exactly the same things and end up in exactly the same dreadful position he had ended up." He spoke as if ready for years, as if prepared by fate. Prepared to conclude his life with that sentence. "Dragging people in that darkness with me is the last thing I want." Astoria's eyes filled with tears. He stared at his hands once again. He could not handle her breakdown. Her pain… it doubled and transferred to him. Yet, she hugged him tight. Like he had wrapped his arms around her before.
"It's ok. Don't worry." She played with his hair and pressed him to her.
"How can I not?" Draco mumbled in a strained voice.
"You won't end up like your father. You won't do the same crimes again. You won't sink into darkness." He looked at her with pleading eyes. Confused. Scared.
"I won't let you!" Like a strong gust of wind, that sentence blew away his fears. As long as it came out of her mouth it had to be the truth.
"I'll stay by your side and when bad things start happening again I won't let you make your father's mistakes. I won't let you!" She repeated with conviction.
Draco was a coward. But he knew not to show it.
In fear or despair he was calm. He smirked and laughed. As if he enjoyed it. As if it meant little to him.
And in happiness?
What was it like when he was happy?
Easy one.
Draco Malfoy was never happy.
Never.
Never till that day.
She wouldn't let him…
In the bad times he so feared would come. She would be there. With her smiles and sapphire eyes.
With him.
Whatever her reasons. He felt deeply and uncontrollably happy she had made that decision.
But the problem was, he didn't know. He didn't know what to do to show his happiness.
It was new to him. That feeling.
That sensation that was trying to blow his mind away.
What words would have been enough?
'Thanks'? 'I owe you my life'? Even 'love' echoed insufficient in his mind.
So, he, who had no idea what to make of his happiness, just smiled. He didn't know if he had smiled like that before.
If he had it should have been something extraordinary.
But there had been nothing so extraordinary in his life before Astoria.
So he guessed it was his first time to smile.
Indeed.
He smiled and kissed her again.
A/N: Review, review, review…
I am so anxious to hear what you have to say.
So pleeease
Kisses
Sarah