Wheeey! Here's a new fic for you all!

This popped into my head a while ago and has been brewing happily, so I just wrote some of it out last week. And (let's face it), Megatron and Sam are practically a couple. The chemistry between them is amazing.

There are a few tiny references to The Edge of Reason, but it shouldn't be too confusing. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The only Transformers things that are mine are my awesome figurines (but I didn't design/make them). :D And a couple of books, but I didn't write them (sadly). These disclaimers make you feel so worthless, you know?

Onwards- hope you enjoy!

The vehicles that pulled up outside the inconspicuous Lair were certainly not your ordinary, every-day forms of transport. No: you wouldn't find these beasts in your street. And although you might have stared at them in awe and wondered who they belonged to and where they were going, you would not have guessed their business. Their business was other-worldy- yet at the same time, oddly human. On with the tale, reader.

They paused there for a moment or two, seemingly waiting for something. Their accumulative engines were a smouldering mix of purrs and growls, and it was this noise Samuel James Witwicky was flung into the middle of.

And when I say flung I mean flung as in 'he was ejected out of a yellow Camaro to sprawl on the road'.

He didn't want to be there, that was obvious. The way he scrabbled to his feet and hurled himself at the nearest vehicle was a pretty good indication, but his desperate pleas added to this conclusion.

'Don't leave me,' he begged, stumbling around and throwing himself at each car. 'Please-!'

There was utter silence for a moment before the sudden grinding of gears alerted him to the beginning of a transformation.

After about half a minute, he found himself gazing up hopefully at a solemn looking Optimus Prime, who had set off a chain reaction of transformations.

'Sam,' the Peterbilt began mournfully, 'This-'

'BUMBLEBAAAAY,' the teenager wailed, diving for his yellow friend. 'Don't let this happen!'

Bumblebee whined and tried to comfort Sam by curling his fingers around the human and lifted him carefully before giving Optimus a beseeching look.

Prime nearly fell for it, too.

'Please,' Sam implored from the yellow mech's palm, 'Anything but this! I'll- I'll be quiet, I won't make any noise! I'll just stay in Bumblebee-'

Two sleek Corvettes cackled. 'Lucky you, 'bee.'

The Camaro shot them a warning glance.

A luminous Hummer stepped forward, and that was when Sam knew he was doomed. 'It's happening.'

Feeling tears well up at this injustice, Sam bunched himself up into a ball and refused to give any of them eye contact.

'All the arrangements have been taken care of,' Optimus added in some kind of attempt to make it all seem better. 'You don't need to worry about a thing.'

'Apart from dying?' Sam shrieked (in a muffled manner).

'You won't die,' a black and white mech informed him. 'They're all under strict rule about what they can and cannot do with you.'

'Since when do they care about rules?' Sam shouted.

Optimus frowned. 'He is right about that, Prowl.'

'Rules are rules, Prime,' Prowl disagreed.

'True. Megatron did promise.'

Sam couldn't even protest at this because he was too busy choking indignantly.

'Well, go ahead and knock,' Sideswipe enthused. 'Or ring the bell. What do villains have?'

'Yes,' Ironhide agreed, cannons rotating. 'I could perform my own version of knocking.'

Sam's defiant silence finally caused Optimus to stride up to the door and press the doorbell firmly. They all heard it echoing around inside the Lair, and Prime turned to beam at Sam. 'I'm sure you're going to love it here.'

Sam summoned up his most betrayed look and said nothing. Bumblebee shuffled anxiously and then started when the door opened, clutching the teenager to his chassis protectively.

The door didn't really open, per se. It was more swung dramatically with much flourishing.

(I don't actually know how you flourish a door. Try it at home, see what you come up with. I'm interested to hear what you're able to achieve.)

A giant smoke cloud billowed out, concealing anybody within- except for a glowing pair of red optics which slowly became visible through the haze.

'Optimus!' Megatron boomed- for of course it was he- and stepped forwards, smoke swelling impressively around him.

'Nice theatrics,' Prime marvelled, nodding approvingly. 'How are you, Megatron?'

'Very well. I'm rather excited, actually. Imagine, my own boy to squee-' The Decepticon saw Prowl's optics narrow. 'I mean, very own boy to... squee over.'

Sunstreaker raised an optic ridge. 'You squee?'

'Are you saying I can't?' the silver mech demanded. 'I can if I want to; I am Megatron!'

'Go on then,' Sideswipe laughed. 'Show us your squee!'

Megatron scowled at them and spoke most convincingly in his deep and awesome voice. 'Squee.'

Prime coughed politely. 'Bumblebee?'

The younger Cybertronian trudged over morosely, Sam in hand. 'If I'm not mistaken, this is my heart breaking-'

'You don't have a heart,' Megatron snarled. 'You are no fleshling like the boy! Hand him over immediately.'

Optimus nodded at the scout, who gently placed Sam on the floor after holding him tenderly to his chassis for a moment. His doorwings drooped as he watched the teenager's legs stop working, consequently landing him on his behind as he stared up at the Decepticon.

'Optimus,' Sam tried wretchedly, 'Please- reconsider!'

Prime did actually look rather upset himself. 'Look after him, Megatron.'

'I'll do anything!' The human howled.

'Of course I'll look after him. What good is he to me dead?' Megatron was glared at hurtfully. 'Fine, fine. You know I will, so go and enjoy your ho- um, mission.'

Optimus bent down to Sam's level with what could have been an emotional blink. 'We'll be back soon, so be good.'

'Can't I come with you?' The teenager wailed.

'We don't want you to,' Sunny replied.

Prowl shot the Corvette a frosty glance before giving Sam a reasonable explanation. 'You can't come. Speed is our main-'

'So why is Ironhide coming?' Sideswipe asked, then high-fived his brother.

Optimus hemhemed politely over Ratchet's cackling and Prowl's hissed reprimanding. 'We need to get to our unspecified but highly important destination as quickly as possible, and I'm afraid a human would just slow us down.'

'I wouldn't!' Sam pleaded. 'I'd just sleep, honestly!'

'Haha- no.' Ratchet ended any discussion.

Megatron picked Sam up- under Bumblebee's miserable watch, Ratchet's vigilant gaze, and Optimus' careful guidance- and held him correctly i.e. not by any of his limbs, head, clothes or digits, and supported his weight properly.

The Autobots took their leave shortly afterwards, driving away at an extremely hurried pace. A certain yellow Camaro lagged at the back before being bumped from behind repeatedly and consecutively by both a black truck and a bright Hummer.

Megatron waved them off- using the hand that Sam was held in.

The teenager shrieked as he was shaken. 'This isn't good!'

Megatron, stilling his hand, glanced at him. 'Eh?'

'Bad, bad!' Sam gasped, clinging onto a claw. 'Not... not good!'

'...It's alright, boy. We'll develop your vocabulary,' Megatron promised as he went indoors. 'But first things do come first: I shall show you around the base.'

There was an ominous thud as the door closed.

'You know, you could just put me down, and I could just walk out, leave, not come back, exit, and then I'd be okay, because I'd just find civilisation- human civilisation with nice, ordinary people like myself, and-'

'Ohhh, you are not ordinary,' Megatron assured, then abruptly stopped, bringing Sam very close to his face.

Sam gulped and tried to wriggle backwards. 'I'd like to be...?'

'You are special,' Megatron announced, staring at him intently before striding through a door. 'Now, this is the recreation room. I'm sure you recognise some of these smiling faces, yeasssss?'

The human wailed silently and tried to hide behind a claw. 'They've all tried to kill me!'

'You've hardly been friendly to them,' the commander frowned. 'It's all a misunderstanding, so we can start... afresh. See- Barricade's smiling at you!'

'No, no, no!' Sam refuted. 'He's baring his fangs, and I'd like to go home now!'

'Why, this is your home presently!'

'Samuel James Witwicky,' Barricade sniggered, making his name sound more like When you die, I'll be the one gouging out your eyes. 'It's been a while, wouldn't you say?'

'And over there is Blackout,' Megatron continued. 'He doesn't say much. I'm sure you'll get along supremely, though.'

Whimpering, Sam rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

'What are you doing, boy?'

'I'm going to wake up in a minute,' Sam replied. 'This is all a terrible dream, you see?'

Megatron dropped him from a nearly considerable distance to the floor, snickering as he smacked into the ground. 'That sounded good.'

Sam slowly picked himself up- then froze as he heard an ominous growling.

He turned- his own heartbeat hideously loud in his ears- only to twitch silently in terror in the milliseconds before a- a beast slammed him onto his back.

It snarled above him, jaws snapping right by his nose when a voice Sam had never loved before rumbled forth.

'Ravage!'

The beast whined but skulked backwards, tail between its legs.

Sam jabbered unintelligibly, mouth and eyes moving furiously, but no sounds coming forth.

'Now look what you've done! Bad Ravage! Go to your corner,' Megatron commanded, then knelt to flick Sam gently. 'Boy? It's alright. That was merely our little kitty.'

At this moment, the door burst open and a strange mech Sam had not seen before entered speedily.

'Lord Megatron; problem has arisen,' he began.

He didn't get any further than that because a blur tackled him from behind. 'I'm going to rip you apart! There won't be a monotone left when I am finished with you!'

Megatron scowled. 'Boy, forgive these idiots. One of them isn't housetrained.'

Sam flinched as the burning gaze of the second mech blazed in his direction.

'Wrong, Megatron! You-wait! What is that- that animal doing in our base-?'

'Where is your sense of decorum? Be polite!'

'I will not be! I don't understand what it is doing here!'

Megatron ignored him and gestured at the first Cybertronian. 'Boy, this is Soundwave.'

'Greetings, boy,' Soundwave acknowledged. 'You are well?'

Sam wailed inaudibly and tried to hide behind Megatron's claw.

'Ah, I apologise for the boy,' the commander sighed. 'It seems like he is feeling shy.'

'Boy; giddy with excitement,' Soundwave explained kindly. 'Likely overwhelmed by quantity of new faces.'

The other mech paced towards them. 'Are you stupid? He's completely terrified- as he should be in the presence of superior beings such as I!'

The teenager suddenly regained the ability to speak. 'Not superior enough to defeat the Autobots, though?'

Megatron twitched. 'That's rude, boy. Do not say things like that. Do I ask you why you haven't managed to grow out of your infantile habits?'

'If I were commander, we would have conquered them so long ago!'

'Y-you must be Starscream,' Sam remembered. 'You're the one who always fails at everything, right?'

Starscream exhaled, optics narrowing slowly. 'Did you bring it here so we could all maim it?'

'The boy has a name,' Megatron snarled. 'And there will be no maiming.'

'We'll see about that,' the second muttered, sulking his way out.

With a scowl, Megatron plucked Sam into the air and strode off down the corridor.

'Please let me go home,' Sam begged. 'Please?'

'Optimus has entrusted me with your welfare,' the Decepticon frowned. 'I cannot simply break this trust!'

'I don't understand! He's an Autobot! Why would he trust you with anything?'

Megatron thought for a moment. 'Don't ask stupid questions, boy.'

He suddenly stopped outside another door.

'We have arrived, fleshling,' he declared as the door wooshed open.

'A-arrived? As in, reached our destination? Turned up? E-'

'Enough, boy. We are entering,' Megatron explained, then dropped Sam onto something hard.

'Ahhhh,' Sam gasped, eyes tightly shut as he squirmed feebly.

'...Stupid boy,' the Decepticon sighed. 'You weren't supposed to land there.'

Sam was nudged onto a surface surprisingly softish. He opened his eyes and saw what appeared to be a small cushion.

'See? Your failing manners diverted you to the hard material,' Megatron enlightened. 'This is your cage.'

'C-cage?' The teenager suddenly realised that he was, indeed, in what appeared to be a small enclosure.

'Yes. It has bars on it.'

Sam clutched said bars desperately and shook them like a generic madman. 'W-why am I in a cage!'

'You are an animal,' Megatron reasoned. 'The Autobots give you far too much freedom.'

'That's because- seriously? You're serious? You're locking me in a cage!'

'I don't want you to get lost, boy. Optimus would be very distressed.'

'I don't want to be in a cage!'

'Life isn't about what you want, boy. It is about what you need.'

Sam sat down heavily. 'This is a dream. Nothing more, nothing less.'

Megatron beamed. 'See? You're tired. You will remain there, doing whatever you do, whilst I do something interesting.'

'What the hell am I supposed to do?'

'...I don't know, fleshling. Nap or something.'

'NAP- are you joking? Naps are for old people and- and for Mojo!'

'You're overexcited,' Megatron sighed. 'Too much all at once.'

'You're telling me?' Sam shrieked.

Megatron snapped his claws. 'I know just the thing-! Have a snooze, boy. We'll have some fun tomorrow.'

Sam blinked miserably and rested his forehead on the cold bars before him.

It was some time before Megatron returned.

Sam jolted awake as a slight sound of woosh reached his ears and manically scuttled backwards.

The Decepticon strode in. 'I told you to sleep, boy.'

'I was, but then you came in and disturbed me, great hulking thing that you are-'

'I object to the word hulking. I find that quite rude.'

'I'm so sorry,' Sam hissed- before remembering he was continuing to insult a giant and powerful Top Villain.

Ignoring him, Megatron lay down on his berth and closed his optics. 'Sweet dreams, boy. Don't let the berth-bugs bite.'

Sam spent the whole night frozen in utter fear and jumping at any noise.

This meant that by the time a cheerful Megatron awoke, he was met with a rather unhappy human.

'Good night, boy!'

Sam's eye twitched. 'It's the morning. It's 'Good morning, bo- I mean- Sam'.'

'It isn't.'

'What?'

Megatron rolled off of his berth and smacked into the floor. 'We're villains, boy. We are nocturnal. We live by the moon.'

Sam wailed and clutched at his hair. 'Why haven't I woken up yet?'

'Only joking, boy!' Megatron released an evil snicker before approaching him. 'That would be stupid.'

Sam looked at him despondently. 'Can I go home now?'

'No, you can't.' The Decepticon suddenly plucked him out of his cage. '...You're very skinny, boy.'

'I'm a nervous-' Sam began.

'There's no need to be; we're pretty decent villains.'

'You're murderers!'

'So are the Autobots, but in a heroic way.'

Sam shook his head violently. 'No, they're the good guys, the protagonists-'

'Don't move your head so, boy. You will break the flimsy material holding it to your flimsy body; it'll fall off,' Megatron worried. 'Flimsily.'

'It will not- see?' Sam repeated the action more viciously.

The Decepticon grasped his head firmly between two claws and returned it to its central position.

'AOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!' Sam shrieked. 'Let go of my head!'

'You do not know what is good for you,' Megatron declared. 'You will certainly have to be taught.'

'Just don't lift me by my head!' Sam begged.

The mech was hurt. 'As if I'd do such a thing; it is too flimsy. Anyway, boy- the orn is begun!'

'Tell me about it,' the teenager whimpered as Megatron exited his room and strode dramatically down the corridor again.

He flung open several doors. 'MINIONS!'

Barricade sulked out of one of the rooms, clutching his helm. 'Is it morning already?'

Megatron ignored him and strode through another entrance before dropping Sam onto a hard surface. 'Sit there, boy.'

Sam slammed into it, landing painfully on his behind. He took a moment to wince before standing and rub said body part tenderly. 'Wh-what's going on?'

'We're going to kill you,' a different voice replied. 'It's going to be very enjoyable.'

Sam span round with a yelp.

Starscream, who was just to his left, was giving him intense evilles whilst drumming his talons on the plateau Sam was trembling on. 'Are you ready to die, boy?'

The human resorted to stuttering.

Megatron laughed and chucked him under the chin. 'Starscream is just playing with you, boy!'

Knocked onto his back by the chucking and feeling his chin burst into agony, Sam decided it would be best if he just curled up into a ball and prayed that the nightmare would end soon. He heard the room filling up, but kept very still. If he did not move, they might forget of his existence.

'...Decepticons,' Megatron suddenly commenced, 'There is a matter of great importance I must bring your attentions to.'

There was a slight murmur of excitement, then a cough.

'...Yes, Starscream?'

'Why are we speaking in English?'

Megatron sounded confused. And a confused Megatron is an irritated Megatron. 'What kind of random question-? Of course we're speaking in English. What else?'

'...Our native tongue?'

'What a stupid idea.'

'But the boy can understand everything we say! He could relay it back to the Autobots!'

Megatron laughed. 'I think I keep you alive just so you can amuse me with your inane ideas! Everybody, the Autobots have entrusted us with the care of the boy. You are all to make him feel very welcome. Any questions?' Another cough could be heard. '...Starscream?'

'I don't have a question, but I'd like to raise a personal opinion.'

'..Yesss...?'

Sam felt a Glare needle into his side. 'I don't like him.'

'He is our guest and you will like him.'

'He's detestable!'

'As is your voice.'

The raging Seeker decided to shriek wordlessly, then calmed alarmingly quickly. 'Fine. I'm going out.'

'You will take the boy,' Megatron ordered.

Starscream was about to reply when the door banged open.

'Sorry we're late.'

'I blame him- he's so lazy.'

'I don't see how that makes you late unless you're lazy too.'

Sam peeked out of his ball to see two new mechs frowning at each other.

'Thundercracker, Skywarp.' Megatron scowled. 'I don't even care. Hurry up and sit down-'

'What the Pit is that-?'

'This is the boy.'

'...The boy?'

'The boy,' Megatron confirmed.

'Nice to meet you, Sam. We've heard a lot about you,' one of them beamed, waving.

'Indeed,' the other agreed. 'Indeed.'

Starscream rolled his optics and stood. 'I'm totally leaving now.'

'With the boy,' Megatron added firmly.

Sam didn't like this idea. 'But he hates me!'

'Exactly why you should spend some time together,' Megatron justified.

'That's the most bizarre thing I've ever heard!'

'I agree,' Starscream hissed. 'I might accidentally drop him.'

'In which case you'd catch him.'

'...I might fumble and drop him again!'

'Starscream, let me impress something upon you,' Megatron snarled impressively. 'The boy's existence is worth far more than yours. You will look after him with your own life, understood?'

'Do you actually wonder why I hate you?'

'It brings me much pleasure. Now get out of here- not without the boy, you twerp-!'

'Don't you manhandle me!' Sam raged, diving backwards.

Starscream picked him up by a foot and dangled him in the air as he exited. 'Ugh.'

Sam could feel the blood rushing to his head. 'P-please could you not hold me upside down?'

'Since you asked so nicely,' Starscream replied, letting go of him.

Sam shrieked for about two seconds before he smacked into a metallic palm.

'Comfortable, boy?' The Seeker asked, optics narrowed.

'Thank you,' the teenager gasped, trying to stop his mind from spinning.

'How do you feel about flying?' Starscream asked suddenly.

'D-depends if it's controlled or not,' Sam panted. 'If it's flying through the air because of a cannon blast or something, I'm not so keen on it- see, it's kind of painful-'

'Is it really?'

'...Yes?'

'Thank you for telling me. I've never been hit by a cannon blast before.'

'Seriously? But aren't you like, in a war?'

Starscream stopped abruptly, placed Sam on the floor (carefully), then smashed his helm into the wall with a wailing groan.

Despite himself, Sam was worried. 'Did I offend you?'

'I can't do this,' the Seeker hissed, walking away. 'Go and find Megatron. He seems to like you.'

'I've offended you!' Sam hurried after him. 'I'm so sorry!'

'Go away.'

Sam kicked himself (literally), fell through the air and splatted in a magnificently sprawling manner on the floor. After a wince, he was back on his feet and running. 'Please, wait!'

Starscream was watching him curiously. 'Your suicidal determination always surprised me.'

'It kind of surprises me, too,' a wheezing Sam admitted, finally catching up.

'I assume that you would prefer to walk,' the mech proposed as he started down the corridor again, 'rather than be carried?'

'That would be nice,' Sam admitted, sprinting after him.

Prowl sat, contemplating the meaning of life whilst Sunny and Sides attempted to build the largest sandcastle possible on his left. Glancing down the beach, he saw a morose Bumblebee doodling in the sand. '...Twins!'

Sunstreaker bounced in front of him. 'Yes, Prowlie?'

'We're right here, Prowlie!' The silver Corvette stylishly flipped over to stand by his brother.

'I'd like you to do something,' the second began.

'What do you want us to do, Prowlie?'

'Prowlie, we'll do it!'

'Yes, we will! No fear, Prowlie! We're off!' Sunny was in mid-stride when he realised that he had no idea what it was they had to do.

'May I continue?' Prowl asked.

'Anything, Prowlie!'

'Consider it done!'

'Let me finish this time,' the black and white ordered. 'No interrupting.'

Frantic but silent nodding confirmed that they understood.

'...Go ahead, Prowlie,' Sunny whispered. 'We're listening.'

Sideswipe continued to nod.

'Boys,' the black and white sighed, 'I believe that Bumblebee is suffering.'

He looked at the wide-opticed twins, who were hanging on to his every word.

'I'M SO AWESOME,' Hot Rod screamed, diving past Ratchet and Red Alert.

He didn't see the sneaky luminous pede in his path and tripped right onto his face.

Ratchet laughed as he turned away. 'Too easy!'

Prowl bravely continued. 'It would be nice if you could take his mind off of Sam.'

Sunny pouted.

'Yes, Sunstreaker?'

'Prowlie, you think Bumblebee misses Sam?'

'It is the conclusion I have drawn.' Prowl glanced at the Camaro, still drawing in the sand. 'Just involve him in something.'

Sideswipe thought for an astro-second before racing towards Bumblebee. 'BUMBLEBEE! LET'S BUILD A SANDCASTLE!'

Hot Rod jumped before him. '...Yeah.'

Sideswipe pushed him aside, reaching his target. 'Bumblebee!'

The yellow mech looked up, swiftly covering his doodles, and blinked in acknowledgment.

'Come on, 'bee! It'll be great!'

Hot Rod sniffed. 'Not as great as mine.'

'You don't even have a sandcastle, Hot Rod.'

'Exactly! Even in nonexistence, mine is better than yours.'

'...Oh yeah?' Sunny disagreed from a distance away. 'Get real!'

'My nonexistence sandcastle is more real than yours could ever be!'

'Lies!'

'...Hey, Hot Rod-' Sideswipe narrowed his optics. 'Fancy a competition?'

'I have no need of competitions, for I am always the winner.'

'Take that as a yes. Team Two, prepare to be beaten by the oh so magnificent Team Three-'

'I consider that a challenge,' Hot Rod mused as Sideswipe charged back to his brother. 'What say you, noble ally?'

Bumblebee looked up. 'Let's get serious!'

'Proooooowlie!'

'Yes, Sideswipe?'

The agitated young Autobot bounced on the spot. 'Come on, you have to help!'

'Sideswipe, I asked you to cheer Bumblebee up,' Prowl replied with resigned despair.

'And we are, we are! We need you!' The silver Corvette danced about before him urgently.

'...Why?'

'Because it's kind of a team thing?'

Prowl glanced behind him to see Hot Rod and Bumblebee debating energetically. 'You challenged Team Two?'

'Sure did, Prowlie! So you need to help!'

The tactician sighed and rose to his pedes. 'I suppose I must.'

The twins howled in excitement and pounded their chassis with frightening energy before thundering away down the beach.

Prowl wearily followed them at a normal pace. He couldn't help but feel life wasn't fair sometimes.

There will be more, of course. :D I'm not nearly finished with that boy.

Let me know what you're thinking, and feel free to thrust any SAMtortures you want my way; I'll consider them all carefully.

Till next time, dear reader!