The Color of Rain

Lily POV Part 2

Sternly commanding myself to be brave, I phoned Mrs. Clearwater – she told me to call her Sue – to invite her and Chief Swan (Charlie!) to the party personally. I also asked Leah, who declined since she and her little family would be in San Francisco visiting friends that week.

"I'll come home soon," she assured me, her slightly husky voice sounding as cool as crushed ice, "We'll get together for lunch." I hoped I sounded more confident than I felt as I agreed to that plan. In actuality, I was more than a little intimidated by the prospect: in our brief meeting at the hand fasting, Seth's older sister had struck me as being rather formidable. And I was highly anxious to make a good impression, since it was plain she meant a lot to him.

Then there were his unofficial brothers.

Once my first dazzlement (maybe there isn't such a word, but it fit) over Seth had settled somewhat, I had taken note of his particular buddies. Like him, they were tall, built, and keen-eyed; not so much different from the rest of the tribe as just more somehow; brighter and more vital, as if possessed of an additional dimension. It was evident that there was a bond of more than usual friendship amongst them all.

Tactful (I thought) questioning of Irene had elicited only a slightly too-pat reference to "Men's Mysteries" and an adroit change of subject. I was still an outsider.

Anyhow, I had seen for myself how they all ate; I needed to work up a menu of sufficient abundance to accommodate them…

…………

I stood back and critically surveyed my work. After two full days of struggling over the fussy stove in my cramped kitchen I had managed to produce a pretty impressive array of dishes, if I did say so myself: a huge pot of Pork Chile Verde to make tacos, pans of cheese enchiladas, three kinds of homemade salsas, beans, a spiked fruit salad, guacamole. It all looked very inviting spread out on my Mexican pottery, supplemented with brightly colored plastic pieces from the dollar store.

The guest list had grown, which was gratifying but a little alarming as well. I had even included the produce manager from the Thriftway in Forks! It seemed the least I could do after he'd been so cooperative over my rather unusual requests.

The beer was chilled; the iced tea was made; everything was ready. Seth had been so…cute as he obligingly moved the table, ran back and forth, arranged chairs and helped me set up. We stood side-by-side at the door to meet the arriving guests; without thinking, I draped my arm around his waist. His head flicked toward me in a motion of surprise – had I been too forward? Perhaps it was too soon to stake a claim that way. I started to draw my hand away…He pulled it back and laced our fingers; his smile was warm and his eyes were downright hot as he held mine with a long look, before turning to greet Jacob and Bella Black.

The men greeted each other with one of those complicated handshake things, while Bella and I rolled our eyes in female solidarity. The Blacks were people high on my list to impress: Seth often said that Jacob was his best friend and called Bella his 'sort-of-stepsister'. After exchanging a few words, I decided that they were worth knowing for their own sakes; Jake was warm and friendly, while Bella was a trifle shy but very appealing. They were so touchingly in love with each other that I would have been rather envious - before tonight, anyway.

A little bubble of happiness and anticipation rose and expanded under my lungs. Yes, yes! It's really happening, I rejoiced to myself. Somehow, I managed to act like a rational human being for the duration of the party, while my thoughts strained forward to the end of evening.

Thank yous, good byes and promises to give out the recipe for my famous (or maybe infamous was the word) chocolate-chipotle pie. At last everyone was gone. The smell of cumin and cilantro lingered in the air, as heady in their way as the feeling of expectation that pulsed between us as we faced one another over the worn wooden table.

"Salúd!"

We knocked back the shots of Patrón I had poured. We both gasped and sputtered and laughed at the jolt from the liquor and I found my eyes riveted as Seth licked a stray grain of salt from the corner of his mouth. My own tongue twitched with longing.

Hastily, I turned away, matter-of-factly outlining a plan of clean-up.

Pull yourself together, Lily! I mentally shouted. That's what this whole evening is about, to get him alone and make your move!

Seth began to run water in the sink, offering to start washing if I'd bring the dishes. How could a man volunteering to do kitchen chores seem so impossibly endearing? Mechanically, I began stacking the platters and bowls together while eyeing the movement of his broad shoulders as he scrubbed.

Now!

Quietly I set down the things I had gathered and approached him from behind. My arms went around his waist, his torso was hard and ridged with muscles; this was like the other night, but so much better with no coats in the way. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes….

My lips found their way along the back of his neck; the thrill at my own audacity was very nearly as exciting as the feel of him under my hands and mouth. I drew in the scent of him – clean cotton, his soap, wood smoke from the fire pit outside and something indefinable that was just Seth.

Deliberately, he reached for the dish towel and dried off. He turned in my arms and rested his hands lightly on my waist. Eyes really do smolder, floated through my mind as I smiled invitingly and rearranged things so that his grip was on my ass instead. He pulled me close so that we were thigh to thigh and hip to hip.

Slowly my hands slid up his chest and over his shoulders; I cradled the back of his head and leaned forward, intending to start out with a gentle kiss. Then the weeks of deferred longing rose up inside me; I lunged at him, making little squeaking gasps as I devoured his mouth almost desperately.

His response was everything I could have hoped; it was plain that his need was a great as mine. His strong hands roamed my body, holding me tight, then tighter. My fingers wound themselves into the short strands of his coarse black hair and his lips burned a trail along my throat.

Desire for him rose up like an elemental force, at that moment I knew beyond doubt that his physical drives matched mine. Irene's comment about Seth's previous history with women floated through my mind; it came to me that Seth had been…searching and that his quest was not for variety, but for a particular intensity, a quality that had proved to be allusive until now.

The words I want you were rising to my lips when he stopped.

"Lily, before we go any farther, we need to talk." A tiny whimper escaped me as he untangled himself; he raised my hands to his lips then led me to one of the plain wooden chairs. I couldn't imagine what he wanted to talk about now – we seemed to be doing quite well without words – I just hoped it wouldn't take long; "farther" sounded promising.

Seth's usually pleasant expression was replaced by one of unease and a little spasm of anxiety squeezed my stomach at the sight of his discomfort.

"There's this…condition I, well, several of us have and…" I couldn't seem to wrap my brain around what he was saying, but in the Twenty-first century there is one major thing that leaps to mind at the word "condition". As I struggled to find the right words, stammering, trying to sound supportive, my thoughts raced: that explained the elevated temperature I had noticed, he had a fever. I couldn't be…infected, could I? And what did he mean by "several of us"? That opened up possibilities that I really didn't want to consider.

"Oh, uh, w-what kind of…Several of you? D-does that mean you…," I floundered gracelessly. The friendliness of people like the Blacks suddenly took on a somewhat charged meaning.

He looked as horrified as I felt. He protested; he was obviously trying to regroup. But the words that came stumbling out were, if anything, even worse. Something to do with having magic in the blood and cold ones - whatever they might be - and wolves who become men and some mystic chief with a name like sushi. It sounded like the stories he told at language class mixed with Stephen King.

"I am one of these, a changeling, a wolf by nature…

With a good dose of Harry Potter tossed in.

"… a Protector of my people…

There was a buzzing in my head, making it hard to hear his words.

"… bound to this land by an ancient covenant." He said it solemnly, with an air of pride.

There was more in the same vein, but I stopped listening; my brain was on overload. Amid the conflicting emotions and half-formed retorts whirling inside me, only one thought was clear: what a crock!

My first reaction of near panic had morphed into bewilderment and then congealed into a resentful humiliation. How could I have been so wrong about this man and his intentions? What the hell had he been playing at, stringing me along like this? He had seemed so open, so sincere. And I had bought it, and thrown myself at him.

"Well, that's got to be the most interesting brush off I've ever heard of," my voice sounded strange in my own ears, hardly like mine at all as I fought to control its trembling. "You know, I really don't get you. You've been giving me all the signals ever since we met. Why did you do that? Running; taking me out; introducing me to your friends; if you really weren't interested, why didn't you just-."

I choked to a stop with a huge, harsh gasp. Amidst all the feelings of outrage and hurt and injured pride, the worst was the sickening disappointment that the love I had let myself hope for had only ever been a construct of my imagination.

"Lily-," he tried to break in, but I wasn't having any more of this BS he was dishing out.

Bitter tasting words poured from my mouth, "Oh, now I get it! Is it a bet or something with those buds of yours? I suppose they turn into wolves too?" Thinking of how all these "wolves" would laugh together at my expense was the last straw. I leapt to my feet, knocking over my chair and stormed through the house. I slammed the door behind me, and flounced out to my car. Seth followed close behind, remonstrating that he could explain.

"Just leave me the fuck alone, Seth Clearwater!" I spat at him, shaking his hand from my arm. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. After a couple of tries, the engine caught and I roared down the driveway. I could see Seth in the rearview mirror, looking, not triumphant, but distraught. What an actor that man was! I resolutely turned my eyes to the road.

Grimly, I remembered thinking that he seemed too good to be true. Well, got that right.

But WHY?

The words repeated themselves relentlessly in my weary mind as I paced my little house, and relived the whole bizarre conversation. I reexamined our friendship (using that word, even in my mind, made me shudder now) bit by bit and tried to see how I had misunderstood things – him - so drastically. With a sort of desperation, I sought some excuse for his behavior, but the alternatives of drug addiction and complete mental derangement were hardly an improvement.

Every emotion under the sun had its way with me, but somehow left me dry-eyed in my anguish. It occurred to me that heartbreak wasn't limited to one part of the body: I felt as sore and bruised as if I had tumbled down a flight of stairs and my head was pounding. Finally, utterly exhausted, I fell asleep on top of the bed spread, fully clothed.

…………

Self pity is something I absolutely despise. There are LOTS of people far, far worse off I told myself over and over as I goaded myself through the next few days, struggling to appear normal. It was evident that everyone at the school knew something was up with me, I could tell by the elaborately diplomatic skirting of certain topics in the teacher's lounge and the covert glances I would intercept. Irene's usually snapping black eyes were soft with sympathy.

The final hour of the school day was my so-called conference period, time to meet with parents, tutor students and such. Normally I liked this schedule, because it made the day seem shorter and gave me a good block of time to accomplish things. Right now, I resented it: I had no appointments today and any time not spent actively teaching was just more time to brood. My brain was weary and actually hurt from the endless replaying of Seth's and my last encounter.

My classroom, at least, was a sort of haven – Seth had never been there, so there were fewer painful associations. It was one place where I didn't find myself automatically searching for a glimpse of him. I was staring blindly at a pile of papers I should have been grading when a brisk knock sounded at my door.

The door opened to my listless summons, it was Emily Uley. A wave of surprise, and nervousness, coursed through me. She regarded me gravely for a long moment, then said quietly, "Seth Clearwater's heart is breaking over you."

Suddenly I found I could cry after all. Bitter tears stung my eyes, but at least I didn't disgrace myself by completely breaking down.

"His heart!" I sniffled petulantly, "You don't know the things he said!"

"Not exactly, no. But I can guess." Her tone was matter-of-fact.

"Does everybody but me know about Seth's…delusions? Or-or do your people think he's, um, like a visionary or something?" I was taken aback by the cold expression that greeted my questions.

"Do we think he's 'like a visionary'? Seth is what he is." Her face was stern and her eyes flashed challengingly. "So, are we the Noble Savages and you're the Benevolent White Scholar, studying our quaint belief-system?"

"Now wait just a minute-" I started to protest, but was immediately cut off.

"No, you wait. College degree or not, who are you to say what's true and what isn't? I expected better of you than that."

I had risen when Emily entered the room; I sat again with a thump. Of all the possibilities I had entertained, the idea that Seth had been telling the truth hadn't been one of them. Gulping, I opened my mouth to object to her judgment, but nothing came out at first. I could hardly blame Emily for thinking I was being patronizing: that was how I had behaved. Inwardly, I shriveled in shame.

"Sorry," I muttered contritely, "I didn't mean to be disrespectful; I'm not that way, really." Did that sound lame or what? It was suddenly very important to make this woman understand, she was plainly an emissary of sorts.

"It's just that, that night, I had sort of - well not 'sort of' - I seriously came on to him and I thought that he was…" Emily made a little sound of comprehension as I floundered on, "I guess I didn't know what to think. At first I thought he must be playing me, but that just didn't seem right, so…"

"Insanity is better than lying, hmm? Okay." Her tone was dry but she had visibly relaxed. "Under the, uh, circumstances, I probably would have reacted pretty much the same way. And…to tell the truth, I didn't believe it either, at first, and I grew up around these things.

"May I sit?" she said a little pointedly, "we have a lot to talk about." Hurriedly, I moved to take up the pile of books occupying the visitor's chair.

Emily stopped me with a hand on my arm, "What are these?"

The books were what I had been able to find in the school library: naturalist books on wolf habits; a home-bound collection of tribal wolf stories (I had winced over that one, Seth had a copy at home); some Xeroxes of National Geographic articles; some DVDs.

"Dances with Wolves?" Was she smiling? I was on the ruined side of her face and could not be certain.

"I-I, well, I just…couldn't keep from hoping that things might…I guess he's sort of a habit with me now, and-and I thought…" my voice trailed away. Regrouping, I spoke up more firmly, "I figured if I'm in love with a crazy man, I might as well be as, um, informed as possible."

"Seth is one of the sanest people I've ever met." It was said simply, and with confidence, but I wasn't entirely convinced yet.

"Wow, I'm really confused. How do you know this? S-Seth told you?"

"Er, not Seth; it was Sam, of course. He was the first to phase, as it's called".

"Sam…first…phase?" That statement had a lot of implications. Emily regarded me expectantly, making that little paddling motion with her hand that people give when there's a conclusion to be drawn.

"There are more?" I gasped.

"Well, think about it, wolves are pack animals." There was a humorous twitch to her mouth.

"O-ohh! Those friends…they're all so tight and…So I guess everyone does know but me." I was already seated but I found myself wishing I could sit again, as if that would help steady me.

"No, hardly anyone, only the people it directly affects: the wolves, their…mates and now you. There are rumors of course, some of them pretty funny, actually, but I believe the general conclusion is that it's an off-shoot of the traditional Wolf Societies. Women aren't supposed to know about that, but then, we have our own mysteries."

Emily's air of assurance and pride as she spoke gave me a little pang of envy: she was so certain of her place in her world. My fingers practically itched to take notes as she told me of certain things, using intriguing words like phasing and imprinting, Alpha and Beta. All in all, it was a heck of a lot different than the disastrous conversation of the other night.

"And you, you're…what? Like the den mother?" An incongruous vision of all those strapping men in blue uniforms and little caps floated through my head.

"That's as good a way to put it as any, I guess. Sometimes it's like being caught in an endless Farside cartoon," she said rather ruefully, but with obvious affection. I could only nod in bewildered agreement. "I should leave the rest of this for Seth to tell you himself, that's his privilege."

"If he even wants to see me again, after the way I …" I couldn't bring myself to finish.

"Oh, I don't imagine that will be a problem." Emily gave me a mischievous smile and her eyes shone with…welcome. In a queer shift of vision, I suddenly saw her face as whole and unmarred. "Well," she continued briskly, "You've been given a lot to think about just now, I, uh, I always find that a good, brisk walk is the best way to clear my mind. That place along the cliffs is nice, what we call The Home of Mists, you can see James Island from there."

Her tone had an odd quality to it, but I couldn't be bothered to interpret it just now; the idea of some fresh, cold air and physical activity was incredibly appealing. I hadn't had the heart to go running without Seth and realized how much I felt the lack of exercise. Stopping at home just long enough to change shoes, I took off in accordance with the directions Emily had given me.

Once there, the violence of the weather took me by surprise, but I couldn't bring myself to leave just yet – the blustering wind and the roar and crash of the waves against the cliff were soothing in their way, reflecting my unruly emotional state of the last few days. I plodded on, hood drawn tight around my face, head bent into the gale, as if trying to outrun all my confusion.

Okay, maybe this wasn't such a good idea; I could barely see where I was going with the rain lashing my face. The gusts of wind were disorienting me and I had a sudden sickening sensation of vertigo. One misstep and-

From behind me came a sound that made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck, a long, drawn out howl that jolted me with a current of primal terror. Without knowing how it happened, I was facing the forest, watching a nightmare vision loping toward me: a huge - impossibly huge - sandy-colored wolf.

My legs wanted to run, but could only stagger; a scream formed in my throat and died there. The giant creature leapt. Impending death is causing me to hallucinate. The wordsfloated dispassionately through my mind as I watched the unthinkable unfold: the beast shrank in some places, elongated in others; the shaggy fur was transformed into smooth bronze skin. The muzzle with its fierce teeth and lolling red tongue was absorbed into a familiar face…

Seth.

The impact of the collision knocked the breath out of me; I gasped harshly, my attempts to draw air hurt my lungs. Strong arms seized me and a solid body molded itself around me as it rolled the two of us away from the cliff. We came to a stop.

Looking up into his concerned dark eyes, I sputtered out breathless fragments of sentences, "That was – it was…you! It's all…true! I-I didn't know you'd be so-" I couldn't continue and a merciful brownout took me, for a few seconds? Minutes? Longer? I couldn't tell. Chilly rain dashing against my face brought me back to myself.

"Can you get off me, please?" I snapped; I didn't sound very gracious, but I was past caring at the moment. It was one thing to know intellectually that the man I loved could turn into a mythical beast at will, quite another to be faced with the reality of such a thing. Had Emily mentioned that the wolves were so big? And so ferocious looking?

"Oh, uh, yeah, of course!" At least he sounded, and looked, as nonplussed as I felt. He scrambled to his feet and solicitously held out a hand to help me up. Still dazed, my eyes traveled from his bare feet, along his well-shaped legs to his-

Oh my! Even in this cold, he's so…CRAP! I'm staring at his dick! Mortified, I wrenched my gaze to his face; a fleeting smirk there was quickly replaced with an expression of concern.

Blushing wretchedly, I stammered, "Y-you're naked." Just call me the soul of eloquence.

"My clothes don't just pop in and out of existence when I change, you know!" He retorted. Emily hadn't mentioned that part either. Involuntarily, my eyes roamed over his back and ass as he turned away and fumbled at a small bundle tied to his ankle. He straightened and pulled up a pair of track shorts, deftly knotting the drawstring. A sideways glance as good as said, "I know you were looking." I tossed my head haughtily, trying to cover my embarrassment.

The cold and rain, along with that ferocious wind, were making me shiver violently as Seth helped me to my feet. He looked at me worriedly. "We better get you home, where're you parked?"

By now I was so chilled that all I could do was shake my head; with a quick summing up, he ordered, "Hang on," and swept my up in his arms. A fleeting pang of regret that I was too cold and miserable to enjoy the experience was banished by alarm as Seth took off running through the forest. I couldn't help a little shriek here and there as it seemed that we were barreling straight into the thick-trunked trees, but he avoided them almost magically. Or maybe it really was magic.

Before I had even had a chance to really accustom myself to this novel mode of travel we were slowing down in front of my little house. Seth seemed reluctant to set me down and I had to clear my throat meaningfully. Under other circumstances I would have been pleased to play this out; as it was, I was freezing, drenched and still reeling from the strange twists my life was suddenly taking.

As I mounted the three steps to the little porch, I was acutely aware of the forlorn gaze on my back; I turned, and without meeting his eyes, I murmured, "You better come in and, um, get warm."

In sock feet I squished my way to the bathroom and grabbed a stack of towels, which I presented to the large man dripping in the little hallway. The sopping track shorts did little in the way of concealing Seth's…attributes I observed, before marching off to pull myself together.

A little defiantly, I donned my rattiest, if most comfortable, lounging-around outfit and simply combed my damp hair straight back. Previously, I had gone all out with my efforts to charm, but just now I felt like he could take me at my plainest or not at all. In spite of Emily's encouragement, I couldn't help but wonder which it would be.

Seth straightened up hastily from tending the little heating stove as I reentered the living room, a cup of hot tea in either hand.

"That was quick," I said, impressed at his skill, "I still haven't got the knack of fire building, it wasn't something I needed much at home." Ironic, calling Rockport "home", when my world centered around the troubled-looking young man seated in my rocker, hands circling the mug I had passed him.

The silence was becoming strained as we sipped at our tea. I peeked at Seth from the corner of my eye and saw that he was looking back, our gazes abruptly shifted to opposite sides of the room. There had not been the opportunity to notice before - he had several intriguing tattoos. I was no judge, indeed I'd hardly ever thought of such things before, but they appeared to be of notable artistry. I had a sudden, deep longing to explore them, up close and personal.

The knowledge of just how naked he was under the towel he had wrapped around his waist wasn't helping.

He was the first to speak, "Lily, please believe me, I wasn't trying to make fun of you or-or tell you I don't want you, because I really, really do, you know." His humble tone and remorseful expression wrung my heart, maybe he had felt as bad as I did.

Bemused, I said, "So…wolves who turn into men, huh?"

'It's kind of a lot to take in, I know-" he began; I waved him to silence.

"Let me finish," I needed to get this all out. "I'm…ashamed of myself, Seth. All my life I've wanted, wished, hoped that…well, magic was real; that some people knew more about certain things and had access to power that the rest of us didn't. That's a big reason I went into anthropology.

"Then I find it – and I just push it away. I-I acted narrow-minded!" Seth's eyes were wide and wary as I continued, "I'm sorry I accused you of trying to make a fool of me, you've never been anything but super nice and friendly to me, so I don't have any reason to think that you'd try to make fun of me.

"The worst part is that I was afraid I'd blown it with you by being such a bitch about it all." My voice trembled as I recalled the torment of the past few days, had it really been such a short time? There, I had laid it all out.

I really, really do want you, you know. His previous words rang in my head, I could feel my spirits churn with hope that it might be alright after all.

"Lily, it was entirely my fault, I should have picked a better time to bring it up, before things got so…heated. I wouldn't blame you for thinking I was crazy."

Well, that was handsomely said, I had to concede. With a shaky laugh, I responded, "We-ell, I was trying to decide between running away, back to Texas, and just taking you, crazy and all, when Emily came to see me. She told me…some things. Then she mentioned that she liked to walk up on the cliffs to help clear her mind. That's how I ended up there today. I probably wouldn't have gone if I'd known how the weather would be-."

With a snort of laughter, he broke in, "Sam sent me to patrol that same area. I think we've been set up! Oh, um, everybody's kind of in everyone else's business here, sorry."

At that moment I could hardly have cared if CNN was delving into my love life, I was so happy and thankful.

The wood fire was starting to take the chill off the room but I was still shivering periodically, Seth came to sit beside me on the sofa and put his arms around me. His warmth was heavenly and the feel of his embrace was like a kind of homecoming. The atmosphere had lightened as we cleared away the misunderstanding, but now the silence thickened with a different kind of tension.

Seth shifted his weight, I snuggled closer; he shifted again, seeming uneasy. I was about to ask what was wrong, when I felt IT. A tickly thrill surged through me, followed by the impulse to giggle, which I stifled. Poor guy! He was trying so hard not to rush me – little did he know.

Without another thought, I flung my arms around his neck and crushed my lips against his. Just so there'd be absolutely no doubt about my intentions, I pressed my thigh into the swelling heat between his legs. For the merest instant he stiffened in surprise, then pulled me to him tightly, only to release me with a muttered apology, "I keep forgetting how much stronger I am than most people."

"You don't have to be so careful with me, I won't break," I reassured him, he had no idea how his strength and power excited me. We fell on each other's mouths with hard, hungry kisses, our hands caressing one another almost frantically. The relief of finally feeling his touch on my bare skin nearly brought tears to my eyes; a tiny cry was pulled from my throat as he mouthed my breast through my shirt.

"Lily, sweetheart," he whispered-

He called me sweetheart! The words sang in my mind, almost, but not quite, drowning out the rest of his sentence: "-we can make each other feel a whole lot better if we go into the bedroom." My answer was to scramble to my feet and hold out my hand. Seth rose, unconsciously gripping the towel around his waist.

"You won't be needing that," I teased lightly, prying his fingers open. The towel slipped, but only so far. "Quite a coat rack you have there," I couldn't help saying; hectic laughter burst from us simultaneously. Deftly I plucked it away and grabbed his wrist, practically yanking him after me to my room.

There he paused, looking self conscious, "I, uh, didn't bring any, um…," he said hesitantly.

"I have some," I replied smugly, opening the nightstand drawer and removing the box I had carried in my purse the night of the party. It had very nearly been thrown away on several occasions since then, but somehow I hadn't been able to completely give up hope that its contents would be needed.

"You've got me at kind of a disadvantage," he pointed out with a smile. Slowly, he lifted my shirt and tossed it away. I found myself amazed, and touched, at the amalgam of tenderness and passion in his expression as he gazed at me, "You're beautiful," he whispered. The sentiment echoed in my mind as I looked at him: he was everything the word "male" implied. The playful mood drained away, desire pulsed between us and we reached for each other.

Being with Seth was a revelation. With other men there was a background awareness of thought: they considered, as I did, such things as technique, the likelihood of scoring, how fast to get to that point. But there was a single minded intensity and focus to the way Seth caressed me, he was completely in the moment, deeply absorbed in exploring my body.

His large hands were hardened with work but their touch was intuitive and sure. I laid my own hands over his and pressed, wanting him to hold me tighter and he did. A steely arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me in closer; his mouth and breath were blazing hot as he kissed and licked my breasts. My fingers wove themselves into his hair and I arched my body to direct his attention to my nipples. My eyes were riveted to his face as he suckled me vigorously and I cherished the contrast of the deep russet color of his lips against my pale skin.

A little whine of protest sounded from my throat as he detached, a whine that turned to a sigh as his lips continued on a meandering journey downward. He dropped to his knees and inch by inch eased my leggings away, then an arm slipped between my thighs and reached around; a hand cupped my ass. Seth looked up at me, then very deliberately made a point of his tongue and drove it into my cleft. Then again. And again.

My legs would no longer hold me up and I collapsed onto the mattress. Seth's eyes glowed like black coals at my response and he sinuously followed my motions as I crawled backwards on the bed to give him room. With agonizing slowness, he placed a line of lingering kisses along my inner thigh before burying his face in my source. A whispered, "So go-o-od," trickled from my mouth in response to the maddened flicking of his tongue.

Then he growled.

The sheer primitive passion of that noise squeezed the breath from my lungs as my own desire rose immeasurably; my conviction that his needs and wants were the same as mine was confirmed by the sound. Perversely, I had a twinge of mild regret: there were so many things I wanted to do with this man, but I was stricken with the surety that if I didn't have Seth Clearwater inside me right now, I. Would. Absolutely. Die.

Murmuring something, I took his face in my hands and drew him up to hover over me, kissing him fiercely and tasting my own essence on him. The velvety heaviness of his erection rested on my belly, twitching in response to my light, teasing touches all around it. With a muffled exclamation, I wrenched my lips from his and gave a nod at the pile of condoms on the nightstand.

Seth shifted to his side and I took the little packet from him; the sheer heat of his hard-on was startling, but felt so right in my hand as I rolled on the condom. The warmth building in my center was a match for his as I directed him to my entrance. Part of me wanted to scream my need for him to hurry as he bored into me slowly, filling me with his length and thickness, while another part wanted the breathless anticipation to never end.

A long, slow thrust and then another; his eyes held mine, watching my response. I could feel him holding back, trying to judge how much of his strength to use. "How do I make this good for you?"

The simple words made me tremble with want and at last I could speak my truth, "Take me…hard, I-I like that. I want to feel…all of you, deep inside me."

With a muffled groan he fell to, claiming my body, grinding into me and answering my need. Cries and moans and huffs filled the room, adding a soundtrack to our striving. My fingers dug into his backside as I surged to meet him and he slid an arm under my waist, lifting me slightly so he could enter me more deeply still. Fiery pressures swirled in my core, building to an unbearable pitch. Then the tension snapped and fragmented into waves of liquid white heat.

As I came back to myself, the need to possess him in turn overwhelmed me. With a shift and a shove, I rolled him over, exulting in his cry as my weight bore down on him. I reveled in this perspective, looking from above at Seth's flushed face and fiercely glittering eyes, in them I could see a primitive kind of need that exactly matched mine. His hands rolled and squeezed my breasts, then slid down to clasp my hips, guiding me and supporting me as we plunged together.

"Show me…" he whispered hoarsely, his dark eyes catching mine then focusing on where our bodies joined. More excited than I would have thought possible, my fingers slid into my slit, stroking my knot in time to the pounding of his cock.

"Lily!" The sound of my name forced through clenched teeth sent me over; I collapsed on Seth's chest, sobbing aloud with the expanding ripples of ecstasy. A few more mighty thrusts, then, with a rasping bark, Seth jolted and shuddered into me with the force of his climax. I clutched him and the pleasure that swept me as I felt his release was as deeply satisfying in its way as the orgasms he had given me.

Panting and sighing, we lay huddled together, trembling with little aftershocks and murmuring fragmented endearments as our breathing slowed. I was sprawled across him in complete boneless contentment, when I felt the need to bring up something that was nudging the back of my mind, "Um, Emily mentioned something about - she called it 'imprinting'? Did you, I mean, is that -?"

He gave a little resigned sigh, "No, I didn't imprint. I just…no. Disappointed?"

"Huh uh," I couldn't help a little laugh, "no disrespect intended, but that sounds a little, um, creepy?" It wasn't something I had ever given a whole lot of thought to, but I very much wanted a man to be drawn to me for more than my reproductive capabilities. Though I had to admit that Emily, and the other pack mates I had observed, seemed more than happy with what fate had provided.

"Well, it's certainly different, from what I've been through." I stared at him. "In the minds of my brothers, it's a wolf thing," he explained hastily. "I…never really wanted that, you know, imprinting. I wanted to do it the old fashioned way, to have a-a choice. Find the right girl, let the relationship grow…

"But the joke's on me, I guess. That night at Mom and Charlie's party, I saw you…and it turned out I didn't have a choice after all."

I propped myself up on an elbow to get a better look at him. "You mean, like love at first sight?" He gave an apologetic shrug and nodded sheepishly.

My mind stuck on how hard I had tried to play it cool, he'd been trying hard, too, it seemed. We'd both been struck by love, and had been afraid to show it. So much wasted time and effort! I started to laugh, just a touch of hysteria in my voice. Seth looked quite alarmed at my reaction to his admission, which only made me laugh the harder.

"What a relief!" I gasped, "I thought it was just me!" Seth blinked, and gave a chuckle, then he was laughing along with me, holding me against him as we rolled in the sheets, intoxicated by our own mirth.

"Just think, we could have been doing this all along!" he chortled, touching his lips my forehead, the tip of my nose, my chin, the hollow of my throat. Then his laughter died away, replaced by something dark and full of wanting; he ran a hand over my hip and rounded my ass, pulling my pelvis in to press against his.

"Already?" an involuntary gasp of surprise - and gratification - burst out of me: he was fully aroused.

With a smirk, he said, "There are, um, certain aspects to being a wolf…Besides, you and I need to make up for lost opportunities."

"The future's looking better and better," I murmured to him between kisses, kisses that became longer and more searching as we went on. I couldn't help wriggling against him as my passion rose to meet his.

"There's no rush, sweetheart; we have all the time there is. This round we're going to…take it slow." The words were breathed into my ear and punctuated with little nips; with a fingertip Seth slowly drew a wavy line between my breasts, down to my navel which he circled lazily.

"Absolutely," I agreed fervently. With a sudden movement, I rolled him over on his back, straddling his stomach; my fingers were laced with his and I held his hands above his head, pressing them firmly into the mattress. Brow to brow, I looked him straight in the eye, assuring him earnestly, "And it starts with me working you over good!"

I sat up and gave the matter some mock-serious consideration, "I think…I'll begin…right…here!"

…………

End notes: Long, yes - but worthwhile, I hope!

As a general rule, I have mixed feelings about alternate POVs that follow the same material so closely ( tho' I've written some before now!), but these two were so sweet that I just couldn't help myself. Anything to live vicariously, I guess *grin*

Funny thing, in MS I had made a one sentence mention of S's girlfriend Lily which I used just because I think it's a pretty name, then after I "published" TCoR, I came across 2 or 3 other fics, all by different writers, with Seth having a girlfriend named Lily/Lillie! Weird, huh? Guess it was meant to be…

In case anyone is wondering, the food mentioned in this, and all my fics, is indeed in my repertoire!

Suggested listening: Come Rain or Come Shine, Ray Charles' version.