Title: Koiwosuru
Type: Naruto, Prequel One-shot to Matsugo
Genre: Romance/Drama
Pairing: SasuXHina, Sasuke x Hinata
Characters: Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuuga Hinata, Uzumaki Naruto
Story Placement: Let's say I made up this timeline and it's somewhere after the Naruto Bridge Arc and before Sasuke's Rescue Arc
Background: None actually
Plot: How Sasuke finally saw Hinata; the way he loved her and the way he lost her.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto at all, which is sad.
Warnings: A Mature kind of love is expressed but nothing gross. It is sad as well, I'm sorry lovelies.
Author's Note: Okay so this is the prequel to Matsugo. It will show the relationship between Sasuke and Hinata prior to him attacking Konoha. I wrote this because I didn't explain how they actually "got together". I really got some great feedback from Matsugo so I thought it would be good to have a preview one-shot.
This is actually dedicated to Shy Whisper of Life who inspired me to write the prologue. She left a very long and great review that was mostly concerned about the vagueness of Sasuke and Hinata's relationship. I'd also like to dedicate this to Repentless Wind who edited this and convinced me that is was good. She's a doll and it'll be really soon when we're back in the same country and wrecking havoc again. So, to Shy Whisper of Life and Repentless Wind, thank you very much and I hope you enjoy this one-shot!
Koiwosuru
By Heaven is Drunk
He hadn't paid much attention when he first spotted her. His very first time looking at her and he barely took a glance. He missed the iridescent glow of her white eyes against the paled skin and dark violet hair. He'd missed the multiple shades of red staining her thin cheeks as she stared at his blonde teammate. He, somehow, had missed the frail, petit body beneath the thick gray coat and dark blue pants.
He hadn't understood the reason for not noticing her. It could have been because she hid so well behind the target post. It could have been because, for once, a girl's attention hadn't been on him. But it also could have been because, at first glance, she'd looked like a ghost haunting the training grounds. Whatever the reason had been, he hadn't noticed her, paid attention to her, or allowed any mundane contact with the Hyuuga heiress. He'd simply looked at her, noticed a figure and moved on with his routine of avoiding Sakura, being badgered by Naruto, and training with a continually lazy and selfish Kakashi-sensei. But fate, as he learned, wasn't willing to just let things go.
Their second meeting hadn't gone much in the way of romantic novels either but the quiet girl did leave more of an impression than their first encounter.
He'd been running, again, from the hordes of fan girls and admires. He was simply looking for a moment of solitude, so he raced to the distant training grounds. It was an old and worn down clearing. Most of the equipment was broken and useless but there were always the trees that surrounded the area. It was quiet and empty most of the time so Sasuke was willing to venture into that area.
He attempted not to cry out in anguish when he felt a person's presence in the area. It was a faint amount of chakra and feminine in feeling which elicited more annoyance from him. But he continued forward. Perhaps he could overpower her with a glare and she would leave. If put enough fierce anger into the look, perhaps glaring with the sharingan activated, she wouldn't tell the others that he was training here.
He approached the clearing and heard the soft grunts of a young, frail girl practicing her punches. He was met with the back of a dark haired girl dressed in a simple light blue training outfit. The top was long, conservative and basic but the semblance of a female figure became apparent with the curve of the shirt. It was covered in sweat and water, decidedly clinging to the pale body more than a normal shirt should have.
She was pounding her pale, fragile fists against a worn punching bag that was wrapped carelessly around a stunted tree by a worn rope. Blood and the worn remnants of previous punches covered the lime green cloth.
He could tell the blood was fresh, most likely coming from the tender flesh of the clan heiress' fists. When he glanced at them, he could tell this wasn't the first occasion where she punched until she bled. There was subtle scabbing around the fresh cuts and raw red skin below that. Her pale forehead was dripping sweat and her legs shook from her exhaustion. She seemed on the verge of collapsing but refused to fall to the ground.
He could tell in the worn ground and her raw red skin she'd been practicing this way for a long time.
He spent more than an hour standing behind her, slightly hidden by an old willow tree. Each time she began to sway, he'd take a step forward to catch her but she always regained herself. She would fall back a step or two before inhaling deeply and regaining herself. She would punch with more vigor, grunting and gasping more frequently than before.
He felt his shadow and chakra will themselves away when she picked up her things. She wrapped a white towel around her neck and then threw her same gray jacket over herself, hiding what the tight outfit had revealed before. She skipped at first, gaining ground quickly before she passed the willow tree. She stopped and turned on him, her violet eyes connecting with his.
She bowed appropriately with a gentle smile, her soft voice whispered just over the groan of the earth, "Uchiha-san."
The same feeling as the fear battling Haku and Zabuza hit him just as quickly as it had before. He froze in his place and stared at her retreating form. He felt the heat in his cheeks and a wild thump in his heart. He numbly regarded the sun setting and the chill of the night but he remained frozen in the willow tree.
They'd been waiting, anticipating the beginning of the chunin exams and Naruto had just finished his "I'm going to be Hokage" speech. Hyuuga Hinata had stepped forward to not only quell the excited blonde but to wish him luck.
"G-g-g-good l-l-l…" Her soft voice had called to him but was abruptly muted by the boisterous blonde. Any attention her soft coughing and stuttering had brought to her had been lost by his bickering with her dog-like team mate. She sighed sadly and clenched her small fists together. She'd lost the attention of the blonde but had gained a much darker attention.
His eyes followed her at first very tense, shuddering form and then deflated, disappointed appearance. She looked longingly at Naruto, the very same look he saw in Sakura every time her jade green eyes found him. Suddenly, Sasuke felt a burn in his heart, the emotion choking him. Odd thoughts like "why does the dobe get that look?" or "Can she look at me like that?" The thoughts had come so fast and so strongly that he grunted, alerting her to his presence.
Her pale, moonlight colored eyes found his midnight colored ones. Something sparked through his veins, fiery and unimaginably hard to grasp. It was there the second their eyes met and faded into something and cold and empty. He wished for the first feeling, even the clenching of his heart before but he was left frozen. She bowed stiffly, properly like she'd been trained when addressing fellow clan heirs. Her short bob fell forward, covering those intense white eyes.
"Go-good luck, U-Uchiha-san," her voice faltered just enough to be the Hyuuga she'd revealed to Naruto but there was a tone he couldn't place. A distaste, a strength, a cover and a mask that she must have developed to appease her position in life. It wasn't the girl he'd first passed over and it wasn't the girl who attempted to whisper good luck. It was the girl at the training grounds; someone worthy of being a kunoichi.
Suddenly she was an enigma, a dual personality where both seemed so honest but neither could be the real her at the same time. Who was she really?
He bowed a little in response, "Good luck, Hyuuga-san."
Their moment seemed to pass for her as she moved back to her stoic team mate and Sasuke retreated to his own team. She smiled softly at her teammates and quietly stood to the side, never once looking back at him or his direction. However, Sasuke watched her until she disappeared in the scramble of roll-call. He'd lost track of her when they were assigned seats and didn't find her again until she attempted to help Naruto's cause.
He nearly broke his pencil, the choking fiery returning to his heavily beating heart, as he watched her pass the paper to Naruto. She smiled and blushed cutely, ignored by Naruto but Sasuke memorized it and locked it away for a time when he could analyze it.
He actually spent many times analyzing the moment. He laid in bed after the chunin exams, thinking of the Hyuuga and how he felt. He could understand rage and disappointment, loneliness and sorrow but he couldn't begin to place the fire in his veins when she spoke or looked at Naruto.
It was a sad day and he felt the weight of it deep in his slowly reviving heart. Everything was heavy and lethargic and the darkening sky and incessant rain made him want to go back to sleep, back to forget everything. Sakura's warmth seeped into his damp clothing and she shivered beside him. He wasn't sure if it was fits of tears or his own warmth transferring to her. It hadn't mattered much in that moment anyways. No one had the time to think of their obsessions, crushes, or any other distractions as the pictured face of the Hokage and other fallen ninja stared at them. The entire community reflected on the long and successful life of the Third Hokage. At least, they were suppose to.
Sasuke was distracted.
Hinata looked…ethereal in the dark dress, pale skin drenched in tears and pale violet eyes leaking more. He continuously glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. He cautiously and secretively memorized the way she breathed in and out, the way she brushed the tears away and then clenched to prevent more from falling. He felt his arms itch to hug her, sooth her, permanently remove those tears from her face…or cause them himself. He wasn't sure which he preferred.
He'd been a fool to challenge Itachi. He wasn't ready to kill the man if the blonde bimbo had defeated an enemy he couldn't. He learned that ugly truth in a disastrous way.
He'd had a revelation then, as Itachi clung to his throat. He shook with fear, fear of dying, fear of never seeing her again. He felt helpless and scared like he had as a child. But he wasn't a child anymore. He was suppose to be a soldier, an avenger, and these…things that froze him in his place were not allowed.
He had to remove himself.
As the world darkened around him and his brother's cold, emotionless voice filled the void of unconsciousness, he decided to detach himself from everything. From his teammates, from the sappy village and their righteous thoughts, from her and what she did to him.
His dreams were plagued by the feelings the pale eyed girl. Her every movement he'd ever seen, every sound she'd ever made and he heard, he saw it all like a broken record in his dreams. His only reprieve was the nightmares that were plagued by his brother. Her midnight colored hair would fade into the clear, starry night sky. Her bright colored eyes would drip red and her pale skin would become the bodies he'd seen. Needless to say, he'd had dreamed of torture no matter what.
Through the pounding of his own heart or the screams of his family, he would hear the faint call of a female voice. Someone wishing him well, wishing him back to reality. He felt himself crave the voice belong to her. He could never be sure but the soft, caring voice dripping with audible sobs had to belong to her. No one else could sound that depressed for him.
"Please come back, Sasuke-kun."
Waking brought two revelations, she wasn't there and he was inconsolably depressed by that, and once again Naruto had saved the day. He'd gone into a rage by that and had taken it out on Naruto. He was forced to retreat to his bed after that and was left alone to brood. The realization was cold and hot all at the same time.
He had feelings for Hyuuga Hinata.
He hardly reflected on those feeling or their implications. He simply fell hopelessly into the first thing to distract him. Lucky enough it had been an offer from Orochimaru; it was an escape and in a way that he could fall without regrets. His original goal in life, the first he was too accomplish…he had to destroy Itachi. Only after that could he reflect on the foreign feelings, on any other desires that had arisen after meeting the violet eyed girl.
Longing was the hardest thing to overcome. Every night he closed his eyes and saw her and his arms reached out to hold her, hug her, and kiss her. The desire grew the older he got but his rage for his brother grew as well, festering with the constant reminders from Orochimaru and the agonizing tests he endured. Love was not a relief to him, it was a reminder how alone he was. He had to wait to achieve his revenge which meant he had to wait to be reunited with the sweet, beautiful, angelic Hinata. They coincided at night, melding into feelings of desire to kill and desire to love.
Living was like hell.
The dreams he had at night began as innocent memories, from the first barely noticeable awareness of her to the last bittersweet moments when he realized his feelings and then walked away from them. He dreamt happily, peacefully for a rare episode in his life but waking drove him made with exhaustion. Every morning brought the same haunting question that, at first he could proudly answer but eventually lost all ability to respond to them.
Should I have said something before I left?
Should I have left at all?
As age and hormones began to awaken, those sweet innocent memories of her became dark and alluring. Her pale skin would shine with sweat, mouth opened and panting, and it took a very humiliating talk with Kabuto to discover why he was agitated and stiff in the mornings. He lost himself in pale, black haired girls. Every intimate moment would be spent imagining he was spending his time with her. The hours of loneliness while trapped in his room, unable to train, unable to sleep, were spent thinking of her, obsessing over her.
Was she with Naruto now?
Did she miss him at all?
Perhaps what Sasuke could be thankful for in this despairing time of adolescence was that living in the dank, monotonous, and depressing hollowed caves that were Orochimaru's hideouts, time drifted by without understanding the length of a second, minute, hour, even year. He faded in and out of consciousness and sleep. A minute with eyes opened, distracting his one-track mind from white eyes to shoving a sword through his brother's skull. A year was spent dreaming of her curving body beckoning him, crying out for him, whispering words of 'I love you' and 'come back to me'.
Was it a memory or a fantasy? By the end of those elongated, well-used 2 and half years, he had no sense of it anymore.
As he pierced the white snake's heart, his mind could easily drift. First would be Itachi, and then he'd return to the waiting, desperate, lonely arms of His Hyuuga Hinata…Konoha be damned.
She was mesmerizing, addicting in her developed state. A stance that was stronger, a stare that was far more determined a body that had developed more quickly than the rest of her counterparts; Hyuuga Hinata had become a woman…Sasuke's woman. And in the fleeting moments between his battle, the millisecond of confrontation where his red and her white met, he couldn't deny that she'd been thinking of him too.
Author's Note: Phew, that took WAY longer than I had anticipated. I hope it was good. I kind of found it really weak. Please, tell me what you think. Thank you everyone for the reviews in the prequel. I hope you find and read this chapter as well!
Good Luck in the world!
Zai Jian!