Defused

Craig Tucker walks down the school hallway, his most powerful weapon, the middle finger, armed inside the pocket of his jacket. Scanning the students he sees BeBe Stephens walking toward him, a familiar glint in her eyes.

"Hey Craig, you wanna come over and-"

Middle finger out, right in her face. BeBe Stephens, typical teenage blonde bimbo with a lust for bad boys. Craig has unfortunately been the object of her desire for the past couple weeks, right behind the Jonas Brothers and mini-skirts. Her eyes fill with fake tears as she turns on her high heel and stalks away toward her best friend Wendy Testaburger.

Situation defused.

BeBe whines to Wendy about how much of a 'jerk wad' Craig has been and the black haired girl glares at him. Wendy Testaburger, average teenage girl, best friend type, will stick her neck out for her besties under any circumstances. She goes to tell her boyfriend Stanley Marsh to not hang out with him.

Stanly Marsh, normal teenage boy with raging hormones and a love of football, closet gay for one Kyle Brofolovski, doesn't have enough balls to tell Wendy. Stan had been planning on inviting Craig over to watch the latest football game, but decides not to for fear of pissing off his girlfriend. Craig had intended to decline the offer anyways, and flips Stan the finger for good measure.

Situation defused.

Clyde Donovan then takes his turn to walk up to Craig.

"Hey dude, you should hang out with-"

Middle finger whipped out again, which Clyde is used to. Clyde Donovan, Craig's best friend since second grade, ignorant and conceited, but still loyal. Clyde was about to chat with Craig about how he'd banged BeBe last night, when the truth was he only went to the shoe store with her. Clyde will not admit to himself that he is a loser. He walks away to go find Token, who will at least pretend to listen.

Situation defused.

Among the other students who were shown the finger on his trip down the hall were Butters Scotch, Kenny McCormick, Eric Cartman, and Kyle Brofolovski. And then a twitching blonde mess starts down the hall, making a beeline for a certain black haired, blue hated boy. Tweek Tweak, caffeine addict and unbearably cute, clings to Craig like a sick puppy. Middle finger out, upon compulsion and not irritation.

Tweek runs away in tears, afraid he's lost his only friend. Tweek was planning to invite Craig to his house so they could play video games and watch Red Racer. They would then most likely make out a bit and probably become boyfriends, after a long love confession to each other.

Situation defu-

Wait. Shit.

"Hey, Tweek! Wait up, can I crash at your place tonight? Tweek dammit!"

--

FFFFFFFFFFFFFF

-dies-