Chapter One: Just the Beginning

"Get off of me!" I screamed, my throat now hoarse after yelling at him so much.

"Come on, baby. I know you love me." Kyle sneered.

Ok, pause…this isn't the best place to start. You don't know the whole story yet, so:

Kyle is my boyfriend…in theory. But aren't boyfriends supposed to be loving, and respect their girlfriends? Well, Kyle definitely doesn't. He abuses me, most of the time verbally, and uses me. This is the third time this week that Kyle has tried to have sex with me…once he succeeded because I finally gave up the struggle. But let me tell you, it was NOT pleasurable in the least; he was grunting and panting the entire time, he sounded like a caveman.

Now don't get me wrong…it didn't used to be like this. (I mean, do you really think I would have gone out with him if he started out this way?!) Kyle used to be really sweet, we thought we were in love, and we were the it couple in high school. It all started when he was my first crush in the 6th grade. I used to sneak looks at him across the room, and when he would notice me looking I would turn away, blushing.

Then, freshman year, he asked me to the homecoming dance…so of course, I said yes. I was going to the dance with KYLE FLEMMING!

My best friend Shane told me that I should stay away from Kyle, that he was bad for me, he could just feel it. Of course I told him that he was being ridiculous, and that maybe he shouldn't be so jealous. Which he responded to with the typical:

"WHAT?! Psch…I'm not jealous. Why would I like you? Hahaha that's just stupid. I am definitely NOT jealous haha…" full of nervous giggles and all.

So this past summer is where the basis for my story really starts. August 13th, two days before Shane's 17th birthday, is the first time Kyle tried to sleep with me. We were hanging out at his house watching a movie. He had already started to yell at me from time to time, and was constantly putting me down and making me feel horrible.

I told Shane about the yelling, but of course his only solution was to break up with Kyle which I'm just not ready to do. I believe that my Kyle is still there somewhere, deep down.

August 13th was two days before Shane's big birthday party; August 13th was the first day I had to stop Kyle from having sex with me; August 13th was the first day Kyle told me I was a fat bitch, because I didn't have sex with him…and August 13th was the first day I got home from school, went upstairs, locked myself in the bathroom and made three gashes in the top of my thigh.

The pain took over. I let the blood pour out, and the hurt went with it…from then on I knew that the best way to feel better was to bleed it out.