All the Sanity

Chapter 1- Santa Baby, no. Christmas, a definite maybe

"Two weeks until Christmas~!" Nudge sang, prancing about in our shared room. She and Angel slept on a bunk bed in the corner while I, Max, had this cool bed-thing that could fold up into a couch. It was in couch form now, and I sat on it with Fang's laptop (which with my awesome ninja skills I had stolen it while Gazzy and Iggy were currently in the middle of burning one of his shirts) on my lap.

I grinned, looking away from my Googled Itex links. Even though it was supposed to be nonexistent now, I checked up on it every now and then. Call me paranoid. I resumed my search just as Fang irritably kicked our door in.

He grabbed the back of Gazzy and Iggy's tee shirts and scowled at me. "Look up ways to kill two idiots," he all but growled at me, sending death glares to the two boys. The Gasman shuddered under his dark look, but Iggy couldn't see it and thus felt absolutely nothing.

Angel and Nudge looked up as I snickered. "Gosh, Fang, aren't you vain."

"It was the tee shirt your mom got me!"

I shrugged indifferently and erased my links history. It probably wouldn't matter to Fang if he knew I was looking up things that once had given us all many near-death experiences, but I couldn't let Angel, Nudge, or Gazzy know that Itex was still running. I'd found a lot of new information that I didn't like one bit. "Itex regaining economic power", "Itex sales skyrocketing", "Itex plans to start hunting down the flock with many sick, twisted things in store for them"…. Okay, I made that last one up. Still, this was not good. Especially since we lived with my Mom and Ella now, with Jeb Batchelder coming to check in on us every now and then.

Geez, we were just so loved.

"Why do I smell burnt clothing?" Mom shouted from downstairs. I guess she just got back in from work.

"Gazzy and Iggy's fault!" The four of us chimed. My two little convicts mouthed along with Mom as she called, "Get down here and clean up this soot!"

Angel giggled, lightening the mood. Trust my little girl to cheer everything up. Or mess everything up. Angel had a history of "influencing" people's ideas from time to time. Nudge then resumed her off-key singing about how soon Christmas was and Fang stole back his laptop, leaving me to try and find something to do.

This something was to go downstairs and scavenge for some cookies. Ella suddenly materialized beside me, grinning ear to ear. Warily I asking, "What's going on…?"

"It's Christmas, so we're going to Auntie Josephine's house!" she said, just as peppy as Nudge had been upstairs.

"Who's Auntie Josephine?" I asked. I felt horrible. This lady was my own family, and I didn't know her. In fact, the only true family I knew was Mom, Jeb, and Ella. The flock was just as close to family as them, but only Angel and the Gasman were the only real family among us. I remembered back to my days in Virginia at my very first (and hopefully last) school year. This guy named Sam had told me all about his family at Thanksgiving. Would my family come here for Thanksgiving? Even worse, would we, the Flock, still be here when Thanksgiving came? Before Itex's downfall, we never stayed anywhere longer than a day or two and never went to the same place twice. Now that we're here at my mom's house, I couldn't help but feel a little off my usual thing.

It felt weird not having to scavenge for food out in dumpsters. It felt weird being warm and dry all the time. And it definitely felt awkward sleeping in an actual bed every night.

Ella smiled and clapped her hands. "Auntie Josephine is only the best aunt ever! I can't wait until you get to meet her. She lives in Virginia where there's a lot of snow and -"

"Wait, Virginia? We're going back to Virginia!?"

"Virginia?" Gazzy exclaimed, peeping in around the corner. "Oh, no, not there! Anne's out to get us!"

"No, she's not, idiot! Anne's in jail," Iggy said. He turned to me, facing the wall a little ways beside me. "She is in jail, right, Max?"

I shrugged, hoping more than anything that witch was behind bars locked up with a whole flotilla of other wack-job scientists, all of them rotting and sniveling in agony-

"Max?" Ella asked, a little freaked by my expression. I laughed it away and told the boys to go spread the word that we were going to a real winter wonderland. Which happened to be in Virginia.

Ugh, the repulsive memories…. At least there weren't any Erasers to come popping in to say hi while we were there. Maybe we'd have a normal get-together and eat ourselves to death, while my family looked at us and thought, "Dear lord, I hope they're not from my side of the family." Ah, I could only wait.

"SNOW!" Nudge happily squealed, running into the kitchen. The rest of the flock came in just as eager. "Angel and I are going to make snow angels, and snowmen, and snow women- are there such things as snow women?- and make an igloo big enough for all of us- you guys are going to help with that- and then we'll go inside and drink hot cocoa with cinnamon stuff in it and-"

"Ugh, stop, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!" Iggy moaned.

She laughed and quickly said, "I'm going to go pack!"

"We have a perfect monster among us," I muttered. Then I clapped my hands- Ella and I did that a lot, now that I think about I think about it. So did Mom. "When are we leaving?" I asked her.

Ella went over to Mom's calendar and said, "Mom's off starting tomorrow until the thirtieth. Let me go ask her."

The flock turned to me with exasperated looks. "Virginia? We're really going back to that heck-hole?" Iggy blandly asked. Of course. His parents, who had treated him like a circus act, were in Virginia. Everyone's parents were in Virginia and its neighboring states.

"Ig, I don't think Josephine's house is in northern Virginia."

"Is it at the beach?" Angel asked expectantly. She put on her best Bambi face. "Pleeeeaaaasssseeeee can we go to the beach?"

"I want to go!" Gazzy chimed. "Can we, Max? We haven't been at the beach in forever!"

Let's see. First time we went to a beach, Fang got shredded by Ari. Second time, we were whisked away to a hospital where Anne first dragged us in. Third time, I almost bled to death. Then, at the best beach in the world at Hawaii, Fang and I were rudely interrupted from our date by stupid robots. "No. Bad things happen at beaches."

They let out a dragging, "Awww!"

Before they could further harp me, I slipped away into the living room where Mom and Ella were. "Where does Aunt Josephine live?" I finally asked. In the doorway, I could feel the flock crowding around, praying it was Virginia beach.

"Southwest Virginia, in a small town called Richlands. We're taking a plane there tomorrow afternoon." Just like Ella and I, she clapped her hands together and looked at the Flock and I. "This evening we'll go shopping for winter clothes."

Upstairs, I heard Nudge gasp and she ran downstairs. "We're going shopping!? Yes! Ooh, I've got to have scarf and a fuzzy knitted hat!" And so she started to name off every winter item you could imagine. Finally she stopped and asked, "You don't think that'll be over my allowance, do you?"

Mom smiled as I just stared at her in disbelief. "Of course not. Everyone, get ready and we'll hit up the mall."

That was totally the wrong thing to say to these kids.

* * *

"I love, love, love Aeropostale!" Nudge cried as we walked out together. I'd only gotten a pair of light blue gloves, but Nudge was carrying three huge bags full of things. She'd bought a pair of gray leg warmers. Leg warmers! Since when were we back in the eighties? But even so, I had to admit that they were cool. Leg warmers were like socks without the bottom. If that wasn't genius, then I guess we'd have to rethink the whole string theory thing. I shuddered. Gross, science. I hated it.

We walked around a little while, stopping at every cookie store to pick up provisions. I suddenly stopped in front of a Subway restaurant. Nudge looked at me quizzically. "You're hungry, Max? After all of those cookies?"

I shook my head and did a 360. Something was wrong here. Something just felt… off. And after all the experience I'd gotten from moments like these, I knew for sure that there was going to be fighting.

"Max?" Nudge asked again, looking around too. "What's wrong? Flyboys?"

The feeling hadn't gone away but I shook my head again. "Nothing. Let's go find Ella and Angel."

She nodded.

* * *

Fang suddenly stopped. Dr. Martinez turned around. "Fang?"

After seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he shook his head. "Nothing."

She looked at him for a moment, then shrugged. "Do you want to go in Payless Shoes with me? I've got to get a new pair of boots. I have a feeling I'll be outside making snow men with Angel…."

"No thanks. I'll go find Max. Later," Fang said with a sophisticated nod.

* * *

"Ski ball!" Gazzy cried, dragging Iggy over to an arcade. "Oh, I love this game!" He reached in his pocket for a quarter, but they only had a fifty dollar bill. "Hey, Iggy, you got a quarter I can use?"

"Ah, nope. Used my last one on that soda a minute ago. Besides, we're supposed… is that pinball I hear?" Gazzy laughed manically as Iggy walked over to the change machine and fed a few dollars into it. The coins jingled loudly as they shot out. "You get half and I got half. After they're gone, we'll go get some hobo gloves or something."

"The ones with our fingers showing? Sweet. And remember to stop by that stinking perfume place. We need some of the spray stuff for our bombs. Dr. M stopped buying it last week." he reminded him.

They both stopped suddenly and turned around, bumping into each other. Iggy shook his head and got off of the ski ball ramp. "What's that?"

Gazzy shook his head, biting his lips. "Um… I think we should go find Max." He looked around at the stuffed animals on the shelves above the games and shivered. "This place is starting to creep me out a little."

"Yeah," Iggy warily agreed. "Be quiet and listen for Nudge."

* * *

Ella checked through the racks of coats for a size five. She still couldn't get over how small Angel was. "Aha! Do you like this one, Angel?" she asked, holding out a pale pink one with large, round buttons on it. Angel ignored her and cocked her head to the side. "Angel?"

"There's something bad here. Everyone's jumpy- even the shoppers. I think… but, that's got to be impossible…." she murmured.

Ella took the coat and grabbed Angel's hand. "What is it?" she asked in a low voice. She handed the coat and a twenty bill over to the shop clerk. "What do you hear?"

Angel waited until they were outside of the store. "I… feel Erasers. They're looking for Max and Fang. But, there's something wrong. They're not thinking anything bad. They're almost desperate."

"But, aren't the erasers gone?" Ella squeaked. Her knees were shaking a little bit now. Dr. M had told her one day about the Erasers and how frightening and bloodthirsty they were. If they were after Max and Fang, this wasn't good news.

Suddenly Angel smiled. "They can't find us, and they don't know where we live. If we ask your mom to get us on an earlier flight, they won't be able to find us and they'll leave before we get back."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."