"Lavi, are we friends?"

The boy in question looked up distractedly from his perch on the window ledge, the thick leather volume that had been consuming his attention lying open on his lap. His face was arranged carefully in a politely puzzled expression as he peered at the elder teen below him.

Beyond him the wind howled tugging ferociously at trees as though to rip them from their roots and toss them across the ground, icy rain pummelled the earth and lightning cracked across the night sky. The scene framed Lavi perfectly, a fiery halo surrounding his face, casting shadows and throwing his eyes into calculating darkness. He folded his hands delicately on the open page of his book.
The two boys had holed themselves into Kanda's bedroom on a rare free day in order to escape the noisy and busy atmosphere present in the rest of the Black Order. They had spent the last few hours in comfortable silence, Kanda meditating on the floor beneath Lavi who was reading an unbelievably dull looking book and occasionally reaching down to stroke Kanda's head who accepted the action with silent content.

"No."

Perhaps he recognised the bluntness of that statement, or possibly he perceived a slight change in the otherwise stoic expression of the Japanese boy, for he quickly added on, "at least I'm not sure. I've never had a friend before so I'm not sure what constitutes as one." He paused as he cast what Kanda had come to call, 'The Bookman X-ray Glance,' over him, taking in the long cascade of hair, loosened from its usual high position, the dark serious eyes and the brows furrowed slightly more than considered normal for the Asian boy. "Why do you ask?"

'Did he not expect me to question him?' Lavi mused, as Kanda's expression hinted at possible flustering.

"Ah, no real reason," he started, unsheathing Mugan to polish.

'His hands are trembling slightly,' Lavi noted, as he did with all details, curiosity peaking a tad, not that he'd let it show. If he pursued the reason, it was purely for the fact that it might be of later importance to his and Bookman's record.

"Why Kanda?"

There was an inaudible mutter.

"Why?" Lavi grinned down at him.

"You don't call me Yu-chan when we're alone."

There was a pregnant pause as Lavi stared blankly at him, before returning to his book, slowly and deliberately turning one of its many yellowing pages, the dry rustling of the paper and crackle of the fire was the only noise to disrupt the silence.

Angrily telling himself to stop blushing this instant, he had no idea why he even was in the first place, Kanda too returned to the object in his lap. Faithful Mugan would never let him down.

"Because I respect you too much to call you that."

Kanda's head snapped up to stare at Lavi, who remained in his previous, cool position, although Kanda noticed his eye wasn't moving over the words of the page.

"Then why do you call me that when the others are around?" he questioned.

No doubt about it, he was definitely avoiding eye contact.

"I see. Then I guess we're not friends," Kanda muttered.

This time Lavi did turn and look at him. "There are many things you don't tell me, and why not? Because they're private, you don't want others to know, or you feel you aren't allowed to tell them. Well, it's the same for me too. I' m a Bookman, and Bookman are..." he hesitated. "We're just different." He sighed, closing the thick tomb with a sound of finality and crossed to the door, where he paused. "I call you Yu-chan for the same reason you call me 'baka usagi.' In front of others, we both put on acts. Together, we're able to show as much of our real personalities as we can allow. I lied when I said I didn't consider you my friend, you're my only friend." He snapped the book shut defiantly, sprung from the window ledge and proceeded to stalk away from the room.

As he watched Lavi's retreating back, Kanda said solemnly, "as are you."

He thought, as the red head glanced over his shoulder, he caught a glimpse of a smile on the usagi's face.

"...You leave as soon as possible."

Kanda blinked, watching as Komui rearranged his notes, tapping them smartly on his desk before putting them away in a drawer, probably never to be seen again. He looked down, dazed, at the untouched document on his own lap. A light pressure to his shoulder brought him back to his senses, causing him to look up into Krory's worried eyes, eyebrows knitted together in the concern he showed to each person he met.

"Are you alright, my friend?" he asked softly.

Kanda flinched from the word as he swept the hand aside with his signature scowl prominent on his face. "Who gave you the right to call me your friend?" He stalked out the office quickly to avoid seeing the hurt and confusion he knew would be present on Krory's features.

The halls were empty, as they so often seemed to be despite the large number of people that were supposed to be housed in the Black Order. He made his way through the corridors without being disturbed, for woe onto those who crossed him in his current mood; they would not be likely to live to see the next day.

Upon reaching his living quarters, he paused, struggling to balance the badly bundled together document, loose slips of paper threatening to spill onto the stone floor. Finally placing a hand on the handle, he froze, hearing a sound close to where he stood. Glancing either way down he appeared to be alone, but as he turned for the second time to try opening his door he felt a breath of air upon his neck. Shivering, he hunched his shoulders towards his ears.

"My only friend."

Kanda stood surveying the scene of destruction before him, a mixture of despair and anger blossoming in his chest. They'd arrived too late. The town they were meant to investigate and protect had been obliterated. And it was his fault.

Beside him, Lavi stood, twirling his hammer over and over in his hand in an offhanded manner, a look of boredom plastered on his face as though the wreckage below them had no affect on him what-so-ever. Casually he looked over his shoulder at Bookman, head tilted far enough back to expose his throat. A sigh escaped between his soft lips as though he was exasperated. "I'll get started then, shall I?" he enquired, though he sounded as though he already knew the answer and that asking was more a formality that had been developed over time rather than a true question.

Bookman gave a short grunt of assent and together he and Lavi proceeded to make their way down the steep slopes to the ruined town that lay at the bottom of the valley, leaving Kanda to his own thoughts. He watched silently as the two figures moved ghost like among what few walls were still standing, their tall craggy outlines standing like gravestones against the dull grey sky. Together they covered the entire area, peering under fallen bricks, poking into lone standing houses, all the times their eyes scanning ahead, calculating and serious. Kanda wasn't sure what they were doing nor did he particularly care in his current state. He slithered down the sharp incline and drifted vaguely in Lavi's direction just as the boy overturned a heavy stone. He struggled to disguise his surprise and disgust as an arm spilled over the edge, landing at a crooked angle, the rest of the body buried underneath rubble. Kanda turned away quickly to still his churning stomach, trying to keep up a cool and disinterested exterior whilst Lavi leant towards it in interest.

"Ninety-four," he declared before moving on.

"Ninety-four what?" Kanda asked.

Lavi paused to look at him, cocking his head slightly to one side, his eyes sparkling slightly. "Bodies," he smiled.

Kanda stared at the boys retreating back unsure if he had imagined the smile that had tugged playfully at Lavi's lips. Was the idea of ninety-four deaths actually amusing to him? Although Kanda always seemed impassive to the deaths that occurred around him, he had developed it as a way to remain sane, afraid those faces would appear in his nightly slumber. But Lavi's smile seemed so real, as though the sight of the bodies amused him and he was taunting Kanda about the armour he had placed around himself. And that smile had chinked Kanda's armour, letting the horror of their surroundings reach out and touch him with icy fingers.

A sob escaped from Kanda's throat as he sat curled beneath the sill of his window, the rain pattering against it gently. He buried his head deeper into his crossed arms, his hard, uncaring exterior slowly breaking down around him leaving a vulnerable and distressed boy. If only he hadn't argued with that pathetic Moyashi instead of ignoring him and leaving straight for his mission. If only he hadn't complained about sitting beside Lavi during his fake mode, wasting even more time before they'd set off. One hundred and twenty-four had been the final death count.

If only...if only...

Fists made their way into his hair, tearing and tugging as he mentally beat himself up, faces of the villagers swimming across his vision.

He jumped slightly as another hand landed on top of his head and started to stroke gently back and forth. He stiffened as he recognised the warm hand that generally had the power to make him relax but tonight set him on edge. He shuddered as the touch sent chills sent chills down his back and he quickly shrugged the hand away.

Lavi frowned, unsure of what the action meant. He knew that when a person stroked a friend's back it was meant to show comfort and help those in a state of stress. It was given to reassure the person that someone was there to talk to and to help them feel less alone. He also knew that when Kanda was being his true self that the action was generally well received. Therefore he did not understand what it meant to have his hand shrugged away. He tried a different approach.

He crouched down in front of Kanda, left hand coming up to gently cup what he could of the boy's cheek in an attempt to raise his eyes to his own. "Are you ok, Kanda?" he asked whilst he did this.

Kanda jerked his face away so fast that Lavi was surprised he didn't hear a loud crack echo around the room. He buried his face resolutely even deeper in his arms.

Lavi leaned back on his haunches highly confused. His hands were placed lightly on his knees, his chin resting on top of them, head tilted to slightly to the right. He silently surveyed Kanda, his mind ticking over the possibilities of what could be upsetting him.

"Is there something wrong?" He reached across to stroke Kanda's head only to be sent sprawling backwards by a shove to the chest.

"Yes, stupid rabbit," Kanda yelled as Lavi sat up, wincing from the pain forming in his lower back. "You're my fucking problem. Did you honestly not care about them?"

"About who," Lavi scrunched his nose up delicately in uncertainty.

"Those villagers god damn it! I mean it's like you didn't even give a fuck that they were dead. Did it not bother you at all when you were counting their dead bodies? Why were you even counting?" he screamed.

"It's my job," Lavi replied in surprise. "We have to record everything that we see, the number of dead included." He paused. "Are you sure that's what's really bothering you?"

If only...if only...

"Of course I'm sure," he snapped. "You're just an unfeeling bastard that's all that's bothering me." He hesitated for a moment as a flash of hurt passed across Lavi's face. But it disappeared as quickly as it came, so he continued. "I know that you don't understand emotions like people think you do, but surely even you should be affected by that."

"You don't understand Kanda," he pleaded. "I'm not allowed to show if it affects me or not, it'd get me into trouble with Panda."

"I don't believe you," Kanda folded his arms across his chest. "How the hell would something like that get you into trouble?"

Lavi shuddered slightly as though the trouble he would get into did not bare to be thought about. "You know I can't tell you that." He pouted. "Please don't be mad at me, Kanda. I don't know what I'd do if you hated me."

Kanda shook his head. "Get out Lavi."

Kanda rested his chin on the palm of his hand, staring dully out the train carriage window. His mind mulled over the last conversation that he had had with the 'real' Lavi. After he'd thrown the boy out of his room their masks had been fixed back in place and for many weeks they'd barely even acknowledged each other except for the normal acts that they put on when around the other exorcists. But before Lavi's departure things had begun to return to normal. Small smiles behind the others backs, quick touches of each other's hands, and timid words of "be safe" when a mission had one depart from the castle.

He just wished that he'd swallowed his pride and apologised for hurting the red head before he was forced to leave, so that he didn't have to live with the guilt that he may never get that chance again.

The train's brakes squealed suddenly, coming to a shuddering stop and causing Kanda and Crowy to almost fall out of their seats. Kanda poked his head out of their carriage door, turning his head in both directions. Many other people were doing the same, their necks stretched far out of their compartments in the most ridiculous of manner.

What the hell is going on? Kanda wondered.

"Sorry for the delay," shouted a guard, running quickly through the corridor. "There has been a bit of a problem with the next town's station. Please stay in your carriages. We will be starting again shortly."

Liar, Kanda thought. He could see the panic in the older man's eyes. Something bad had happened. "Krory," he snapped. "What's the next town called?"

"Izor," he replied. "Why?"

Kanda griminaced, closing his eyes briefly before snapping them back open as he made a decision. "We're going there, now!"

So this was what all the commotion was about, Kanda wondered, staring at the large and dominating church before him. Chaos and panic was happening all around the town except for here; the calm within the eye of the storm.

"We'll use the element of surprise to our advantage," he said. "Let's get going."

Barely even acknowledging Krory's nod of agreement Kanda dashed into the church, Mugen already drawn and eager to draw akuma blood. The familiar weight of his katana sat comfortably in his hands as he rushed through the billowing smoke towards the indistinct shape of his first victim. He pierced through the armour with a deep thrust of his sword, wrenching it out quickly as the akuma disintegrated around him before pivoting on the spot and cleaving a second in half. Before he had time to do much else something swiped at him, hitting him hard in the side and knocking him forward. Awkwardly, he stuck out his left hand to stop himself falling, allowing the momentum to carry his legs over in a flip, landing him in a neat crouch. His hand was scratched but it would heal quickly enough. Glancing up he caught sight off a shape scuttling towards him at a frightening speed and he had to fling himself to the left so as to not be skewered by the long arachnid leg that had just aimed for his head. Slashing out from the ground with Mugen he managed to scrape its side, but it was shallow and only achieved in angering the spider shaped akuma. Its abdomen flexed and a fine string of web shot from its spinneret, catching Kanda around his wrist. He struggled, but the creature was too strong and the web too sticky to cut through. He narrowed his eyes at the akuma, who was pulling the web through its front legs, dragging him closer. He stopped resisting and instead allowed himself to be suddenly yanked forward. Just before he crashed into it, he thrust Mugen in front of him, striking the akuma between its many eyes. It shrieked, collapsing on top of him before vanishing into dust.

Kanda propped himself up awkwardly on his right elbow, left shoulder throbbing in pain from where he'd struck it against the cold stone floor when the akuma had tried to squash him flat. A shriek behind him made him jump quickly to his feet.

Krory.

He whipped round, eyes searching out and falling upon his comrade. He froze.

The glass from the stained glass windows now had round spikes protruding from it, reminiscent of stakes. As he watched they continued to get longer, glass pushing further and further into Krory's shoulder as he struggled to snap or smash the spikes. His eyes widened as they fell upon the figure, kneeling between the pews near the vampire exorcist, one hand stretched out in front of him.

Lavi. Or was it?

It looked like him, still the same wild fiery hair and dark eye patch over his right eye. A look of confusion and fear covered his face, but there was a glimmer of something else in his single eye. Something sadistic. Something twisted. A look too real than he was used to seeing on the younger boy. Lavi retracted his shaking hand slowly, and as he did so, so did the glass, melding back into a single sheet, though the colours now meshed together in a confused pattern. Blood splattered to the floor as the spikes left Krory's shoulder and arm, and he hunched over in pain, sagging to the floor as it overcame him.

Kanda walked towards the prone exorcist and Lavi, who struggled to his feet, body trembling violently and eye wide with panic.

"Lavi?" Kanda asked quietly, concerned about his friend.

"I didn't mean to," the boy whispered, voice quivering slightly.

"It's ok, it was an accident," Kanda said, taking a step closer.

"Don't move," Lavi yelled suddenly. "Don't come near me!"

From the corner of his eye Kanda noticed a dark, blundering shape heading towards them. A Noah.

"Lavi, please," he whispered urgently. "Please, it's ok. Krory's going to be fine. Come with me, Lavi. Please, take my hand. We'll go back to the order together." He took another step forward.

"I said stay AWAY FROM ME!" Lavi screamed. The windows burst violently from their frames, the sound deafening, and every shard of glass hailing down around Kanda with lethal intention. He stared at Lavi as the first piece slashed his cheek.

Impossible.