Ok... omg... this small little thingy here... is really something big and important for me .…

It's the first English fiction I've ever put online and yes I'm sure there are a whole lot of mistakes in it and no it's nothing special at all actually…!

Still… and believe me that's really something I'd usually NEVER do but… I'm asking (begging?... hmm… no… not begging… not pathetic enough for that ^.~)… I'm asking you… to read it anyway. –blushes-

My English is not that~ bad and the fic is really really short so… would you mabe give it a try?
(Ok… now it DOES sound like begging… but… uhm… as long as I'm not declaring it to be, it's not… right? –laughs-)

So… as I said… read it and… if you want… uhm… review, ok? ^.^

You'd make me freaking happy doing that ^.~ (one good deed a day, wasn't it? –smiles-)

Okok… I'm going to quit that now.

Disclamer: The characters are not mine and I'm definitely not getting any money with this thing (really… who'd be stupid enough to pay for something like that anyway? -.-)

Warnings: Bit sad, bit dark

Pairing: Sadly none, though I'm a huge fan of SasuNaru (or NaruSasu don't really care who's on top!)

Summary: The final showdown has come and Naruto realises that it doesn't matter if he wins. He'll lose anyway.

This fic is inspired by the steadily darker growing atmosphere in the manga. (somewhere around chapter 477) and is the intro to my personal worst case scenario. ^^

Lacking Difference

Back then, when you said, you wanted to fight me, I was happy.

Very much so.

Finally you saw a worthy opponent in me.

I was looking forward to this fight.

Until it came.

Until in that damn valley a rivality between friends became a fight about your soul.

And I lost.

Like today, here, now, I'll lose again.

That doesn't necessairily mean you are still stronger than me.

And it doesn't mean I'm going to lose on purpose.

It's just that... even if I defeat you, I win nothing...

Nothing but the knowledge to finally have surpassed you.

Meaningless.

I'd give all my power, every spark of my chakra just for being able to turn back time this once.

Do you actually know with how many ‚What if?'s you left me?

What if, back then, I hadn't become so much stronger so fast? Would you then not have felt like you were progressing to slow?

What if, back then, I had won our fight? Would you have realised, that it's not necessarily hate that makes one stronger?

What if I had succeded in detaining Orochimaru from marking you with that damn curse seal?

Would today still be something of your soul left?

Would you be together with Sakura?

Would I be Hokage and you the head of ANBU?

I'm so sick of asking myself those things over and over again.

But still... I can't let go of those mixtures of memory and fantasy.

They are all that's left of you.

'Cause... you don't exist anymore.

In your words, in your gaze... nothing of you is still there.

There's only hate left.
Hate that has become your life, your soul, your innermost essence.

Nothing's left, that could be saved.

You have destroyed yourself.

And even if... even if... and yes, I've come to another ‚What if?'... even if deep down inside of you, this person I miss so much, still exists... I still wouldn't be able to save you.

You killed Konohas elders and destroyed half the village in the process... you are not going to be forgiven for that.

Do you even know Sakura is under these debris?
Do you care?

Eventually it doesn't matter.

You have to be stopped.

And I'm the only one who might be capable of doing that.

Everything else... is irrelevant.

If I defeat you, I win nothing... but if you aren't stopped more people will lose there lifes!

This is reason enough for me to fight you.

I hope I win... because of them.

And... because of you.

Your whole life consisted of hate.

It should be determined by someone who loves you.

This is our last fight... and I'm gonna lose.

You. Or my life.

I tightly close my fingers around my kunai now and suddenly I can't see the difference in those two options anymore.

The end...

Ok… well.. that's it I guess ^^

Short wasn't it?

And not too painful I hope ^.~

If you found any mistakes… please… tell me! I wasn't able to find a beta for this…

And… if it was kind of ok… well… there might~ just be more of English SasuNaru coming because for reasons I don't really know my brain seems to be more comfortable with English when it comes to Naruto FFs…

Well… I'm just going to shut up know –laughs-

Thanks for reading this ^^

Yours R.