A/N:Guys, thanks to anyone who is reading this. It's one of my first stories so pity me.

Summary: When Edward left, Bella stayed safe... In a way. To stop the pain, she started drinking alcohol and doing drugs... What happens when she decides it's not worth it to continue living?

BPOV

„Bella, I don't want you to come with me" He said.

„You... You don't want me?" I asked.

„No" My world came crashing down.

„Fine" Tears were streaming down my cheeks, but I was yelling at him."Whatever. GO! I don't care. Just do whatever the hell you want with your life. I'm not holding you back anymore!"He didn't move an inch. „What are you waiting for? Go" I shouted. But he still didn't move. I decided that I wasn't going to wait for him to actually move.I turned my back to him and walked away, leaving my heart there, in the forest, with him...

My own scream woke me up. God, I hated being sober. It hurt me more. I needed vodka. Now.

I got out of bed. It was one o'clock in the morning, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore.

I put on some clothes and got out of my room. And Charlie was standing in the hallway. Here it comes.

„Shit" I grumbled.

„Watch your language" he said. I ignored him. „Where are you going?"

„I'm eighteen. Not your business" I snapped.

„My house – my rules, Bella."

„Do you want me to move out now, or can I have a few days to pack my stuff?"

„Please, don't do this to me, Bella"

„Leave me alone!" I pushed him away and ran past him down the stairs. I opened the door and shut it behind me.

But Charlie's words made me think... My life isn't worth it anymore. I don't want to live anymore.

I ran back in.

„Did you change your mind?" Charlie asked from his place on the sofa.

„I did. I'm leaving." I answered. He shot up.

„What? Why?"

„I... I have to leave. My past is here and I can't move on" I lied, but he seemed to buy it.

„Where are you going?"

„I'm not sure. I haven't made up my mind yet. But I'm leaving tonight. And you aren't going to stop me."

Edward had told me not to do anything reckless. To keep me from physical pain. But the emotional pain was much worse. And if Edward was the one experiencing it, he would prefer death, too.

After a hell of a lot arguing he finally let me go. I didn't promise to call him or anything. I couldn't.

I got in my truck, started it and drove to Seattle. It was a long drive and it was almost dawn when I got there.

I looked at the possible flights. And took the first flight I saw. To Washington.

The flight was long and boring, so I slept my way through it...

When I arrive I knew I couldn't stay there for long.

And then I saw it. Rome, Italy. Italy. Perfect.

Edward has told me about them. They lived in Italy. And it was the best way to end my life, because I knew their biggest secret and they would have no mercy. They would at least kill me quickly.

Aro, Caius and Marcus. I knew exactly how this was going to work out.

I didn't have a choice. I was going to the Volturi.

A/N: Thanks for reading and please review!