Summary – A set of one-shots inspired by spoilers of the episode Jetlag. TIVA
Disclaimer – NCIS characters are CBS's not mine.
Ziva – Having my back
She carefully inspected the room, her gaze falling on the only bed present just as asserted by the reception staff. She sighed, momentarily allowing her frustration to show just as by her side she heard the sound of a bag being thrown across the room; he had seen it too. He then disappeared in the bathroom and the sound of water running told her that he was taking a shower. She would take one after him and get ready for bed. She was quite tired even though she was used to the trans-Atlantic flights. Having him talk uninterruptedly and flirt with every air-hostess could have had an effect on things.
She noticed a balcony and went to check it, her radar still on the alert despite the tiredness. A quick look told her that it was clear and she allowed herself to relax in a chair and absorb the beauty that is Paris. She had been here several times and even though missions do not generally allow for the holiday aspect of enjoying a foreign country, she had found herself falling in love with it. Paris had a different atmosphere, one that spoke about love not work and business and she allowed herself once more to let this atmosphere calm her.
Saying that the coming days would be a challenge was an understatement. She could not believe that they were chosen for this mission. Together, alone, in Paris... Could the others not see that they could kill each other in the first night? Even though their efficient investigative partnership was returning, things were still a bit shaky between them. She was not foolish enough to think that things would return to normal immediately after her return. She did not even think that they would be right after their discussion in the men's room. However she had hoped that after their talk they would make more progress, lately she felt that they were not moving at all. Both stuck somewhere afraid to make the first move, afraid to be the one who could end up hurt.
She could not understand him; he was back to using immaturity as self-preservation. She had thought they were past that point, had they not overcome it some years ago? After Jeanne things had seemed so different between them, she had almost started believing that if she opened up just a little bit, if she took the risk, they could be good together. Then Jenny died, she felt like they were on two completely different pages, their differences becoming too pronounced. She was the cold distant Mossad officer, he was the childish American dream haunted with guilt.
It was with that feeling that she left for Israel, back to Mossad field duty after so long. It was with her heart still shocked by this difference between them that she met Michael and let herself believe that after all someone from your own country and your own background had to be more similar to her. But similarity does not mean compatibility, it does not mean happiness, it does not equal to what her heart needs. And she learnt that the hard way.
And here they were, so close and yet so far, how can they rebuild what seems to be shattered? How can they find what seems to be lost and forgotten? This did not apply just to Tony and herself, sometimes she felt a strain with her relationship with all the members of the team. It was nothing obvious, she just knew that she had still so much to tell them about what happened in Somalia and had no idea how to do it. Her heart was still heavy with unwanted and unresolved memories but she still found it difficult to open up.
She knew that after all that they did for her she owed them the truth, she also owed them her trust. She just needed to find the strength inside her to start listing her failures, something which was definitely not in her genetic make-up. And she knew that if there was someone who would be ready to listen to her without any judgements, it was every single person on the team.
As she stepped back into the room she noticed Tony sprawled on the bed, a glance to his face told her that he was sleeping. She smiled and her face softened as she thought back to their long flight. The navy officer they were supposed to protect had talked and flirted with Tony throughout the flight. He had tried to stop her so many times, it was quite hilarious at first but then she had started to become annoying. No wonder he was knackered!
She went closer to him entranced by how peaceful has face looked when he was sleeping. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she couldn't stop her hand from reaching his face caressing him softly. Thinking back to the first time she met him a sigh escaped her lips. She was such a different person then, full of training, always following orders and inside of her a girl wanting to break free. Free from the terrorism and violence she had seen since she was young, free from having to maintain honour to the David name, free from the manipulations of her father.
And against all odds she had found her freedom in this team. A team of people who were truly her friends and not just co-workers, people who managed to open her up, make her loosen up. She had found a family in America, one which she had come to regard at a higher place than her biological one in Mossad. They taught her that a family is not just who you are born to but who's got your back.
She understood now why it was said that people give their best when they are surrounded by people who love them. It sounded cliché in a way she would never imagine herself saying things like that... but it was true. This team had brought out the best in her. They had made her a better investigator, a better agent, a better friend, a better person. All of them had given her the family she thought never existed - the one that loves you completely and trusts you.
And looking at Tony she couldn't help but feel indebted to him, for all that he had done. She had had numerous partners before him but he was different than all of them. He didn't look at her differently because she was the Director's daughter, he didn't cower away from her (well most of the time), he didn't bail on her and she could be herself around him without fearing that he would use it against her; he truly had her back in a way that no other partner had before. When she was in the field with him she trusted him blindly knowing that he had every angle covered. He had her back and she had his.
Later on she would probably blame the emotion of the moment for allowing her to do the following things. She slowly reached forward and lightly pressed her lips to his forehead and softly said, "There's no surprise that my work got better when I met you because I never knew what it felt like for someone to really have my back."
Feeling her eyes moisten she stood up and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed never looking back to the bedroom. Had she looked back she would have noticed the soft smile that suddenly appeared on Tony's lips, warming up his face and the rest of the room on the cold Parisian night.
I rushed to upload this as I want to upload one each day before Jetlag airs, so there may be loads of mistakes. I'm not particularly happy with the wording of the last part but I hope you get the feeling I wanted to convey.
Some parts of Ziva's thoughts are taken directly from Sandra Bullock's acceptance speech at the Golden Globes. Check the entire thing out, it's a heartfelt speech.
Thanks for reading.
marija