Tearful nights

Summary: Gaius hates when it's time to retire to bed. Not because he hates sleeping but because of Merlin. Bad summary, I know.

Night fell in Camelot and every one of its villages blew out their candles and retired to bed. Only one room's candles stayed lit, in the chambers near the entrance of the palace. The physician's chambers.

Gaius sighed as the time dragged on as sleep was coming. Soon he knew if he carried on, the consequences wouldn't turn out well in the morning. He blew out the candles and reluctantly tried to get some sleep.

Gaius hated when it was time to retire to bed. Not because he hated sleeping- being a physician he knew sleep was good for you and he always suggested sleep for his patients- no, it was because of his ward, Merlin.

Merlin had to cope with so much nowadays. One, he was a sorcerer and had a great destiny in line for him. Two, he had to keep his magic a secret; for he would have his head chopped of or be burned at the stake if the king, Uther found out. And three, he kept losing people.

Gaius had tried to lend his shoulder for Merlin to cry on but Merlin refused. Merlin couldn't cry to his friends as they couldn't know about the things that Merlin had to bury inside him, especially Arthur, the prince and his master. And Merlin had to save Arthur neck a lot so he didn't have to chance to grieve. He just put on a smile on his place and carried on as normal- expect at night time.

Merlin would retire to bed and wait until Gaius seemed to be asleep. Then he would pour his heart out, all the while Gaius was actually listening. He wanted to get up and comfort his ward, but as soon as he moved, Merlin tears would stop and turn to pretend snores. Gaius knew that Merlin didn't want him to see him breaking down and that what worried him.

If Merlin fell asleep before these crying episodes then the nightmares would happen. Merlin would cry out to the people he had lost, tossing and turning. Will, his friend who knew his secret died protecting the prince and pretended to be the sorcerer to protect Merlin. Morgana, the king's ward who Merlin had to poison as she was causing the downfall of Camelot and was taken away by her half sister, Morgause. Balinor, the father Merlin had only found recently, lost to combat. But the cry that was so angst that it would break the heart of one that had frozen was the one to Freya.

The druid girl Merlin had rescued and fell in love with. She had been curse to turn into a bastet as night fell and to kill innocent people. Gaius felt his heart rip slowly, like paper as Merlin cried out her name. She had understood what it was like for him having to keep himself a secret even through her case was different. Gaius had tried to be there for Merlin, tried to understand but even he couldn't.

He could slip some sleeping draught into Merlin's drink to stop the nightmares but he knew Merlin would detect it instantly. Gaius didn't know how to bring it up as he knew it wasn't a light topic.

So he had to let Merlin suffer his way and he suffered with him.

Plz review, people. I still thinking about what to write in Growth in magic and this came in my head so i wrote it to get it out of the way.