A/N: Too tired to fall asleep. Yes, that happens to me sometimes.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything. I'm too delirious to think of any snazzy things.

Word Three: Birthday

"Hello people of iCarly and beyond—I am Carly. That is Sam. That is Freddie, and that is a beanbag! Which Sam is currently occupying! Isn't that great?"

Sam grinned up at me (actually it was the camera, but since my eye was right next to the lens part, it look like she was looking at me). "HI!" she screamed to the people watching. "Sam I am." She bounced up and stood next to Carly.

"Today, we—" Carly got cut off as Sam butted in.

"IT'S A BIRTHDAY TODAY!" Carly glanced at Sam, worry etched on her face. This wasn't the script, what was Sam doing?

I looked at Carly, who just raised an eyebrow at me. Just wait, I read her eyes, It's Sam, she knows what she's doing.

Hopefully.

Sam grabbed a big box and hauled it onto the table. She laughed like a maniac for all of three seconds, then stopped, glared at me, and told me to get the camera off of her. I shrugged and turned back to Carly as Sam did...whatever Sam was doing.

"Umm...hey guys. Sam isn't doing what we're supposed to be doing. So I'm going to improvise." She gave a sickeningly sweet smile to the camera and quickly said, "Freeeedie, switch to the B cam and come over here." I shot her a quick look but her eyes told me otherwise. I groaned and switched to the tripod camera and walked over to her.

"What do you want?" I hissed under my breath at her.

"Just follow my lead," she muttered back, pulling me towards her.

"Okay, people, we're going to do a little interview here. Many of you have been sending in questions about Freddie, as he is a very popular member of this show!" A snort from Sam caused me to shoot a death glare at her—and possibly see the most horrifying thing known to mankind in her hands, a—

"So Freddie, many people are asking, are you in a relationship?"

My throat went dry as I looked at her. "Uh...uh, no, n-no, why would you say that?"

"It's a question. Get over it. Okay, next question. Do you like me? As in, like like?"

"What? Carly, what are you doing--"

"Okay, apparently he doesn't, now, next question. Someone sent this one in...oh yes. 'If you and Sam were the last people on earth and only you two could create more people,'" I coughed slightly here as she paused for breath, "'would you two prefer to be married by a rabbi or a priest?'"

"Wait, I thought we were the last people on earth? How is there a rabbi? Or a priest?" I pointed out.

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION," Carly scream-growled, giving me a sharp glare.

"Umm...uh...uh...priest."

"NO. I. WANT. A. RABBI. I. AM. JEWISH!" Sam screamed, throwing thumbtacks at me with every word.

"Oh-okay, we're gonna have a priest then," I answered quickly. "NEXT QUESTION, CARLY."

"No, wait! My birthday surprise is done!" Then Sam held out her horrifying, disgusting, creepy thing—

And, of course, I fainted.

A/N: WOW that was random! Lol, that was fun to write. Please please review, I would love you all eternally! Not that I already don't... :)