Author's Note: I had this really beautiful author's note all typed out here. "Had" being the key word. My computer decided that it was fun to torture me, and crashed. So I really can't remember what I put here. I think it might've been me hoping that all of the characters are in character. I might have made Eddy too nice. That's not so good. And I sort of guessed for Eddy's mom. I kept picturing Kyle's mom from South Park when I typed out what Eddy's mom said. That's not so good either.

Oh! Now I remember what I put here. Ed, Edd, Eddy and the rest of the cul-de-sac kids are all in the Harry Potter world here. So I guess it's AU. Is that the right term? I'm debating whether to insert them in Harry's timeline or the Marauders' timeline. Some opinions on this would be appreciated. Well, I think I've talked long enough now. Enjoy the first chapter. :)

Disclaimer: Ed, Edd n Eddy belongs to Danny Antonucci, and Harry Potter belongs to its obsessive fandom. And maybe Rowling.

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"Eddy! Get in the house!"

"One minute, Mom!" Eddy pounded in the second-to-last nail of his latest scam.

"Actually, Eddy, I believe that duct tape would be less hazardous and considerably more adhesive," said Double D, nervously eyeing the pointed ends of the nails that protruded out of the pieces of cardboard that Eddy was hammering together.

"Yeah, yeah, Sockhead." Eddy rolled his eyes and drove the last nail into place.

"Look, guys!" Ed beamed, gesturing at the cardboard he was decorating. "I drew a mutant alien Dinosauriablob from Issue 3, mint condition."

"Um, charming, Ed," said Double D.

"Hey!" Eddy scowled. "You're supposed to be drawing records, not monsters from your stupid comics!"

"But monsters are cool, Eddy!"

"Eddy! Home, now!"

"All RIGHT, Mom!" Eddy bellowed back. He surveyed the completed scam with a critical eye and rubbed his hands together gleefully. "This scam's a cinch! We'll be rich by the end of today, boys!"

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Double D sighed, but he handed the megaphone over to Eddy, who took it and shouted:

"Step right up, kids of the cul-de-sac, because the Eds' Rent-a-Record store is now open for business! Crank up your favorite tunes for the knockout price of just one quar--"

"EDWARD SKIP--"

"FINE, MOM, I'M GOING!" The megaphone blared feedback as Eddy's well-practiced vocal cords reached their maximum capacity. He shoved the megaphone into Double D's hands and stomped across the cul-de-sac to his house.

"I'll be right back!" he yelled back to the other Ed's. Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Make sure Jonny doesn't try to pay us with acorns again!"

Eddy threw open the door to his house, not bothering to slam it shut after him. "What, Mom?"

"In the kitchen!"

Eddy marched to the kitchen, wondering if his mom had found out about his affiliation with the "Jimmy episode" last week. He pushed past the open door. "It wasn't me, Mom, I'd never stick the frog in Jimmy's--"

His lie trailed away unfinished when he saw the owl in the window.

His heart skipped a beat.

"No way," he finally said.

The owl took off, revealing the letter on the kitchen mantelpiece. A letter with a dark red crest marked with an H--

Before Eddy could react, his mother squeezed him in a bone-crushing hug, cutting off all of his circulation. "You finally did something good for once in your life, Eddy, you ain't a Squib after all, and I'll be darned if your father and I aren't proud of you!"

"Eh," mumbled his dad, who was flicking through sports channels in the living room. "School for wizards. Learning magic. Feh."

"Would it kill you to show some appreciation for your son?!" Eddy's mom shouted at her husband, who shrugged and kept his eyes focused on the television screen.

"Hey, Mom," Eddy managed to gasp out. "I can't--breathe--"

Eddy's mother relinquished her grip on her son, and he toppled onto the floor rubbing at his bruised ribs.

"I've already called your retarded friend's parents about it, and they've said that they'll take you to Diagon Alley along with that other no-good friend of yours, that geek, to get your school things, and--"

"Okay, can I just take the stupid letter and go?" Eddy feigned disgruntlement, but he could feel a burning excitement building up somewhere in his gut.

"All right, all right." Instantly, his mom's expression changed from a rarely seen smile to a narrowed look of suspicion. Crossing her hairy arms, she said, "Now, what was that about Jimmy and the frog--?"

"Later, Mom!" Eddy snatched the envelope away and tore out of the kitchen as fast as he could. He slowed down when he reached the hallway, pausing to eagerly open the envelope, which had already been torn open. His eyes grew wider as he quickly scanned the thick parchment inside.

"'Dear Mr….We are pleased to…accepted at Hogwarts…'" Eddy mumbled. A wide grin spread slowly across his face. He would have whooped right there in the hallway, but that wouldn't fit with his cool and tough personality. So he concentrated on working his smile into a frown. It didn't work.

Eddy would never admit it to either of his two best friends, but he had been worried a week back when everybody else in the cul-de-sac had received their letters, and he hadn't. Ed's acceptance was a surefire guarantee--he was a pureblood, since both of his parents were magical, and Ed had already displayed random bouts of magic before. Double D's acceptance was more of a surprise, given that he was a Muggle-born. One of the Hogwarts staff had had to stop by his house and explain to his parents. Kevin, Nazz, Rolf, Jonny--they'd all gotten their letters, too. Only Eddy hadn't. Even though he was just as much of a half-blood as Kevin was. And while he had tried to remain passive and uncaring about it, on the inside, he'd secretly been maybe just a little afraid of going off to Muggle school all by himself.

Well, he'd definitely made it into Hogwarts--the letter, solid proof, was in his hands. He didn't even care why it was so late. He was going to school with Ed and Double D.

Which meant that the Eds' Rent-a-Record store would be one of the last scams of the summer before the semester began.

What better way to end the summer than to con a few suckers out of their money? Eddy thought, smirking. Now that the excitement of the letter had passed, he was already turning his thoughts back to CASH--and jawbreakers. He hoped that Hogwarts had jawbreakers.

Eddy ran back out into the street. He saw a couple of potential customers gathered around the cardboard walls with undisguised skepticism on their faces.

"I'm in!" he shouted to the Ed's as soon as he reached them.

"In a hole, Eddy? In a box? In a basket full of apples and relish?"

Double D was a little more perceptive. "Eddy--did you just receive your admission letter? That's wonderful!"

"Hooray, Double D! Eddy's coming to school with us!" Ed gathered them both in a hug. (Double D cringed, but smiled, anyways.)

"School is for chumps," grumbled Eddy. His friends knew him well enough to guess that he didn't really mean it.

"So you're not a Squib, huh?" Kevin, who was loitering around Rent-a-Record, sneered. "Wonder if they have a separate House for dorks."

Eddy glared at him. "You buying or what?"

"I don't know," Kevin muttered. "This thing looks pretty fishy."

"Huh! I don't see any fish; do you, Plank?" Jonny listened closely to the inanimate piece of wood he was holding. "Yep, that's what I thought!"

"What kinda tunes you got?" Kevin asked.

"Just give us a quarter and find out for yourself," Eddy retorted, thrusting the jar under Kevin's nose. Kevin reluctantly tossed in a coin; he couldn't resist good tunes any more than a good tire for his bike.

"Me next!" piped up Jonny. He reached into his pocket and inserted a handful of seeds into the jar.

"Seeds?" Eddy gritted his teeth. "How are we supposed to buy jawbreakers with SEEDS?"

"But they're Mother Nature's children, Eddy!"

Meanwhile, Kevin pointed a cardboard record player on an actual record, with predictably mute results. Noticing this, Eddy let go of Jonny's shirt and tapped Double D on the shoulder.

"Hey, Double D, that record's supposed to be foil. And Ed was supposed to sing from inside of the record player…"

Double D wrung his fingers nervously. "Well, you see, Eddy, we were unable to find any aluminum foil, so we used your records instead. And I assume that Ed is just late--"

"You did WHAT?"

Ed burst out of the record player, punching a hole in the cardboard and smashing the record. "Twinkle twinkle little chicken, how I want to hug you!"

"MY RECORD!"

"DORKS! GIVE ME MY QUARTER BACK!"

All in all, as Eddy hung by his underwear from a tree branch with both Ed and Double D in similar predicaments, he thought that it was the only end to the summer that he and the other Ed's could have gotten. That didn't stop him from screaming in frustration, though.

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You don't want to know what happened with Jimmy and the frog. And you can so tell I love Jonny.

I realize I gave this fic the dippiest, lamest title ever.

Reviews are amazing and I'll try to reply to any I get. Once I figure out how to because I'm dumb.

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