Inspired by Teresa Green's wonderful series, now in Howl's Moving Castle Style.
Update 4/26/2011: I have notice some reviews lately commenting about the undernourishments of my units. while it was bought to my attention (and seriously I had a good lol'ed at the first one), I have finally decided to fix it! I did in fact used the BMI scale to place them around a more accurate estimate~ I tried to put them in the medium range of a normal weight. Though I am willing to take some suggestions. Also remember, anorexia is bad! I want people to be healthy and happy!
Congratulations! You are now the owner of a fully-automated HOWL JENKINS unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your eccentric wizard, please pay close attention to the following instructions.
Basic Information:
Name: Howell Jenkins, The Wizard Pendragon, Wizard Howl, Sorcerer Jenkin
Date of Manufacture: (Wouldn't you like know?) This unit refuses to disclose its manufacture date.
Place of manufacture: Wales, England. Ingary Inc.
Height: 5'7
Weight: 145lbs
Your HOWL JENKINS unit will come with the following accessories:
Three wizard suits
One human skull
One poorly-tuned guitar
One Welsh Rugby jacket
One fully operational moving castle complete with a four-dimensional door.
One fire demon
(In some models, there will be a cleaning lady or an apprentice attached)
When you first unpack your HOWL JENKINS unit, he may seem a little confused. He will then make his way to the closest bathroom where he would lock himself in there for a couple hours.
Programming:
Your HOWL JENKINS may or may not perform the following functions:
Wizard: The HOWL JENKINS is an expert wizard, but will only perform certain spells if he wants to. But if for a very high fee, you will get his attention.
Teacher: Your HOWL JENKINS is a very talented wizard. Just good luck if you can get him to teach you anything.
Rugby Player: Your HOWL JENKINS unit used to play rugby though he was not very good at it.
Shopping Buddy: The HOWL JENKINS unit has a impeccable taste for style and can make an excellent shopping buddy. Though you would find that the attention will all be on him.
Your HOWL JENKINS unit comes with five different modes:
Cowardly (default)
Vain
Slitherer-outer
Womanizer
Depressed
Angry (Locked)
The HOWL JENKINS comes with a default mode of Cowardly. However, should he come in contact with a mirror the Vain mode will be activated. The cowardly mode can be seen as bravely only in certain cases. The HOWL JENKINS unit believes that by acting like a coward he can actually be brave.
The Vain mode is activated when your unit is taking unnecessary time in the bathroom.
The Slitherer-outer mode is activated when your unit is forced to do something he does not want to do. He will continue to dodge and avoid all questions. This mode is activated when he comes in contact with either a SOPHIE HATTER or a MEAGAN unit.
In the Womanizer mode, your HOWL JENKINS will fall in love with every pretty woman he sees. In this mode you find your HOWL JENKINS unit taking more time in the bathroom then he usually does.
The Depressed mode usually follows the Womanizer mode when your HOWL JENKINS unit can not get the girl he wants to fall in love with him.
The Angry mode is a locked mode of the HOWL JENKINS unit. Since the HOWL JENKINS unit dislikes anything unpleasant, including getting angry, this is a very tough mode to activate.
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Relations with other units:
Sophie Hatter: The SOPHIE HATTER unit is considered to be the most compatible with your HOWL JENKINS unit. It is normal to see them bickering.
Calcifer: No HOWL JENKINS unit is complete without a CALCIFER. The CALCIFER unit is a loyal fire demon that may seem smarter then your unit at times. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PUT THIS UNIT'S FIRE OUT! This is your only warning and can result in the failure of your unit.
Michael Fisher: This unit is your unit's apprentice. He's not as talented nor very good at magic, but you will find him to be a very nice kid yet useless at times.
The Witch of the Waste: This unit is very dangerous to your HOWL JENKINS unit! Avoid contact with this unit at all times. It can only result in the death of your unit or worse. Though your unit will already be taking proper precautions to avoid this unit at all times.
Lettie Hatter: This unit is a love interest's of your unit. Though you find that the LETTIE HATTER unit has no interest at all in the HOWL JENKINS unit resulting in the activation of the depressed mode. The LETTIE HATTER unit is more interested in learning your unit's magical abilities.
Mrs. Pentstemmon: The MRS. PENTSTEMMON unit is your unit's mentor and where he learned all his magic from. This unit is the person that your HOWL JENKINS unit respects the most. There will be a time when this unit is killed resulting in the activation of the Depressed mode.
Meagan: This unit is your unit sister. They may not get along at times activating the Slitherer-outer mode on more then one occasion.
Mari: This unit is your unit's niece who he cares for very much. You will find the interaction between the two to be very adorable at times.
Wizard Suliman: This unit can be considered your unit's rival though you find that he doesn't care. The WIZARD SULIMAN unit will cause some irritation to your unit when the THE WITCH OF THE WASTE unit captures it and the KING OF INGARY unit employs your unit to find him.
Lily Angorian: This unit is another love interest's of your unit, though is just as dangerous and will lead to interaction with the THE WITCH OF THE WASTE unit. Please do not let your unit interact with this unit.
Cleaning:
The HOWL JENKINS unit has very good hygiene habits. Therefore let the HOWL JENKINS clean himself.
If you find that he is taking up too much time in your bathroom do not attempt to kick him out. This is your only warning.
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Energy:
The HOWL JENKINS unit's system sometimes forgets to feed itself and therefore might have some proper nutritional problems. Make sure that he eats enough.
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Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: There's an old lady in the castle cleaning things all the time now. It's making both my HOWL JENKINS and CALCIFER unit nervous at times...
A: This is quite normal. It means that a SOPHIE HATTER unit has taken some space in the castle. Rest assure that everything will be fine as long as she doesn't bother the spiders.
Q: My HOWL JENKINS unit is taking way too much time in the bathroom and I need to use it! What do I do about this?
A: This is a fairly normal routine in your unit's lifestyle. The only solution at the moment is invest in a secondary secret bathroom for yourself.
Q: Help! My HOWL JENKINS unit is emitting some kind of sluggish green slime everywhere! It's smelly and gross! Is he broken?
A: Sorry to say but this is a normal side effect of the unit when it finds itself terminally depressed. Your unit has either encountered a woman he can't woo or thinks he's unattractive. You'll find that he is very vulnerable in this state and you can easily coax the problem out of him quite easily to soothe his mood. Simpler ways to cheer him will be to just call him pretty.
Q: Lately there has been some very oddly-dressed people showing up at the door. Should I be concern?
A: No, your unit's occupation as a wizard involves a lot of people coming to the door employing the wizard's talents. You should be concerned though if any crying girls, aunts with pins or scarecrows come to the door.
Q: Oh no! My HOWL JENKINS unit appears to want to run away! What do I do?
A: The HOWL JENKINS unit seems to be under extreme stress. This can be because of a King asking him to do something or if he is in fear of the Witch of the Waste. Usually a SOPHIE HATTERunit can convince him and settle him down.
Q: Why does my unit come with a guitar? All is does is sit in the corner gathering dust. I asked him one day to play it and he completely ignored me!
A: The HOWL JENKINS unit owns a guitar but does not know how to play, sadly he is an unmusical welshman. Instead you will find that he uses it as an accessory item when he goes out courting a girl he likes. The 'ignoring questions' is also quite normal.
Q: No matter what I do, the castle remains a mess! I can't stand it!
A: No need to fear, all you have to do is buy a SOPHIE HATTER model, preferably one with a old-lady spell already on it.
Q: The fire demon that came with my HOWL JENKINS unit is creeping me out! It's watching me all the time and trying to make some kind of 'bargain' with me. Can I get rid of it? Or better yet, put the fire out?
A: As stated earlier, the fire demon is essential to the unit, by putting the fire out will cause serious damage to the HOWL JENKINS unit. It is quite normal to find it staring at you for it is quite curious of people around it since it is stationed in the hearth all the time. Though it is not recommended to make bargains with demons, it will only benefit in the long run when its free of its contact with your unit. If you are too chicken, you can always find a SOPHIE HATTER unit to make the deal.
Q:My HOWELL JENKINS unit refuses to speak anything but Welsh and won't let me polish his skull. It's filthy! Not to mention the fact he's obsessed with my next door neighbour! Can I get a new one who's not such a milksop? - Belladonna-Poison-Lady
A: While the HOWL JENKINS units are equipped to speak Welsh, there is a English-speaking Language packet installed. You can always learn to pick up Welsh yourself if you are that concerned and thinks he is intentionally trying to ignore you. Polishing or touching the skull is highly not recommended in some cases. As for your next door neighbor who I take is a very attractive lady, you can always have a talk with her and tell her of the situation. Getting her to admit to your unit that it has feelings for it will quit the obsession. Otherwise if the lady friend is infatuated with him with as well I would suggest moving far away from that neighborhood. And sadly to say, being a milksop is a common trait.
Q:My unit is constantly changing its appearance. I think. I'm almost positive his hair was blond ten minutes ago... is this norm- Why is there a bunch of randomly coloured goops and slimes all over my bathroom now? Can anything be done about either of these?- iinear
A: It's quite common for your HOWL JENKINS unit to feel the need to change his appearance on more then once a day. His has a complex about his hair, so its advise not to mess with any of his hair dyes or beauty products that he may keep in your medicine cabinet. As for the mess in your bathroom, its your problem now. Your pet, your mess.
Q: My HOWL JENKINS unit regularly gets in the liquor cabinet, and proceeds to fall often, saying the floor is dodging him. Is there a mode that will keep him from drinking? -Sariah Loire
A: Yes, it's called 'rehab' or AA.
Warranty
With proper care, the HOWL JENKINS unit should live an extra-ordinary life. However, the warranty does cover your unit when it becomes a victim of a distempered witch or if a fire demon's flame has been accidentally 'put out.' Neither does it cover a fulfilled curse on Midsummer's day.
This is my first owner's manuel and since I did not see any on this character so far I decided to go ahead. If I feel like it maybe a Sophie Hatter one later down the road. Depending on the success of this one.
Update: The SOPHIE HATTER unit is currently in production.
But feel free to ask some questions that were not asked up above and I will update and answer the question with your name in there.